Chapter Nine

B urgess left a quick note for Lissa explaining he’d be back soon, just in case she woke up while he was gone, then asked the doorman to make doubly sure no nonresidents entered the building in his absence. Then he sped toward the harbor like a Formula One racer at Monaco, arriving ready to leap out of the car and kick in the front door of the club. He slumped backward in the driver’s seat, however, when Tallulah emerged onto the sidewalk and ended his crusade before it started. She was fine. Alive, well, and unharmed, at least to the naked eye. Had she just lost her wallet or something? A total possibility, because, yeah...

His au pair was toasted, teetering toward him on her heels. Not sloppy or fall-down drunk, just bright-eyed with her makeup smudged drunk. And still mind-blowingly beautiful.

Burgess checked for oncoming traffic in his rearview before getting out to open her door for her. When he gripped the handle before she had the chance, her lips parted on a breath and she looked up at him, blinking. Then?

She checked him out. Blatantly and openly. Right there on the side of the street.

With her tiny purse clutched between her tits, her brown gaze carved a path from his chest to his biceps, down to his thighs and yeah, right at his crotch. She didn’t even seem to realize she was doing it, either, and Burgess decided he liked drunk Tallulah very much.

“Hi. Thanks for coming. Hi,” she said, all husky and warm, making his abdomen tighten up. She stepped into his space, close enough for her knee to bump the top of his shin, her head angling back so they could keep eye contact. And damn, his hands wanted to reach out and grip her hips or shoulders to keep her steady, but he was painfully aware that it would overstep their boundaries of her employment, especially considering the trauma she’d confided in him. “Isn’t it funny that I’m glad to see you?”

He turned that statement over in his head around nine times. “Why is that funny?”

“A few days ago, you made me nervous.”

“I don’t anymore?” he asked, holding his breath.

Nose wrinkled, she examined his chin, his throat. “Not in a bad way.”

“There’s a good way to make someone nervous?”

She scoffed, fell silent, before visibly shaking herself. “I can climb into this vehicle without assistance, I promise. I’m not intoxicated.”

Burgess hid his skepticism. “Okay, Tallulah. I’ll stand here just in case.”

She held up her thumb and forefinger, pinching them together. “That’s a little patronizing, don’t you think?”

He battled a smile. “Some might call it chivalrous.”

“Chivalrous.” She tested out the word, like she’d never heard it before. “You are kind of old-fashioned, aren’t you? Opening the door for me, installing locks, standing there just in case my delicate lady legs can’t handle the climb...”

“You could say I’m old-fashioned, sure.”

“It’s very mean Daddy of you,” she whispered.

Burgess’s eyebrows shot to his hairline. “It’s what?”

“Ooh.” She winced. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Now that you have, though, you need to explain.”

She shook her head .

He nodded.

One of her shoulders drooped. “Well. Chloe and I were talking about you and... it was sort of decided that you were hot in a mean Daddy kind of way.”

“ Mean Daddy.”

“Don’t be offended—it’s a good thing. For you , not me. I don’t have a horse in this race, you know?” She squeezed her eyes closed. “I’m going to regret every second of this conversation in the morning.”

“I have news for you, it’s already morning.”

“You know what I mean, the morning that comes with sunlight attached.”

Burgess hummed, trying to memorize her softened features up close, the dusting of sparkles on her cheekbones, the black smudge in the outer corner of her right eye. She was going to say something else, but seemed to remember a more pressing issue all at once, her attention darting back toward the front of the club.

“Anyway, we should go.”

He followed her line of sight, his senses going on high alert. “All right,” he said slowly. “Where is Chloe? Does she need a ride?”

“No, Sig picked her up.”

“Sig was here? And he left you behind?” He felt a shout coming on and couldn’t quite control it. “Why the hell didn’t he drive you home, too?”

“I told him I’d get a cab on my own—look, it’s complicated. Sort of like Chloe and Sig’s relationship? What is even happening with them?” She waved her hands around. “Come on, I’ll explain on the way.”

Burgess ground his back teeth together, moving in close behind Tallulah out of caution as she stepped onto the running board of the SUV and boosted herself up. He was momentarily hypnotized by the little flip of her skirt and flash of thigh, but thankfully not so much that he wasn’t prepared to catch her if she lost her balance—which, of course, she did. The heel of her shoe didn’t quite fit on the running board and it slipped. She almost corrected herself by grabbing for the seat belt dispenser, but by then, it was too late.

She was already dropping straight down.

In a flash, Burgess crowded in behind Tallulah, using his body to interrupt her descent toward the pavement, slinging an arm around the front of her hips and drawing her back against his chest, catching Tallulah before her feet could make contact with the ground. There was no way to stifle the gruff sound that came out of his mouth when her ass dragged downward over his fly and pressed, her curves locking into place against him, her scent wrestling his senses to the mat.

Holy shit.

Had anyone ever been this soft and strong at the same time?

There was power to her, but she was pliant now, her breath catching from the shock of falling, her head dropping back to rest on his shoulder. It had been a long time since he’d touched a woman, yeah, but even longer since he’d held one like this—and he couldn’t remember it feeling this way. Like his nerve endings were on the verge of explosion, his pulse cranking at a thousand miles an hour.

The effort it took not to kiss the side of her neck was absorbing all of Burgess’s willpower when voices reached them from the front of the club and Tallulah’s head turned in that direction, obvious tension building in her spine. She wiggled against him in a clear request to get down and he reluctantly complied, adjusting his growing erection with a wince before she could face him fully.

“Burgess?”

“Yeah.”

“I know I already asked you for a huge favor tonight, but I’m about to ask one more. No questions asked, okay? I’ll explain after?”

It was a struggle to follow her whispered speech, because he was still processing the experience of holding her, mainly the way the backs of her thighs felt against the fronts of his, the sexy shape of her backside. Now... wait, what was she asking him for? Another favor?

Did she realize he’d say yes to anything right now?

Gator wrestling. Base jumping. Dying his hair neon pink. Let’s go.

Now that his brain was coming back online—somewhat—he couldn’t ignore the way her eyes continued to stray toward the small group of men and women that had just emerged from the club. The man in glasses broke from the group, moving in the direction of where Burgess was parked. And the closer he came, the jumpier Tallulah seemed to get.

Heat flooded his bloodstream, muscles hardening. “Did this guy bother you?”

“The thing is, I don’t know.” Hastily, she tucked some loose hair behind her ear. “I don’t know if he was just being nice. Or flirting. Or if he came on too strong. Because I assume the worst now. I just assume the worst in every man. But I know I’m not interested. That I know.” The guy was about fifteen yards away now. “But I’m going to see him at school on a daily basis and I didn’t want to make things awkward, so I impulsively told him my boyfriend was coming to pick me up. He’s going to think that’s you. Could you maybe... be convincing?”

Burgess’s whole body was beginning to thrum. “Convincing how?”

“Could you kiss me? One time. I’ll never ask again—”

He went into the kiss like a bear being handed a pot of honey after a winter in hibernation. Stiffness, sweat, lust—these things all drilled him at once, like a reverberating blow. And his body, his hands, his mouth, just moved. Found and took. He gathered Tallulah against him with a forearm, drawing her up onto her tiptoes, and he growled into his first taste of her mouth. It was a kiss born of the hunger he’d been harboring since meeting her, hell yes it was, but her explanation had added two hugely potent ingredients to the mix—protectiveness and jealousy. In other words, he was a fucking powder keg.

Calm down.

You’re going to scare her.

Easier said than done.

A peck on the mouth would have been enough to accomplish what she needed, and the footsteps were already moving past them on the sidewalk, hesitating slightly, but continuing down the road until Burgess couldn’t hear them anymore. Couldn’t hear anything but the raw pump of his heart, the gasps of air she dragged in between his slick invasions of her mouth. And maybe he shouldn’t have, but the fact that she kept opening her mouth for his tongue, her hands twisting in the front of his shirt and pulling him closer, closer, caused Burgess to take it a few steps too far. In one swift action, he lifted Tallulah off the ground, took a lunge, and settled her ass on the passenger seat, reclining her back with his chest, leaning over her to keep tongue fucking that pretty mouth, panting brokenly into her neck when she allowed it, her inner thighs brushing his hips. Squeezing. Mother fucker , his cock was hard.

“Burgess,” she gasped, patting him on the shoulder with a shaky hand. “O-okay. Okay.”

“Okay what, gorgeous?” he muttered thickly.

She moaned as he licked up the side of her neck. “This is... we’re getting c-carried away.”

“I’ll carry you anywhere you want to go.”

“I’m... that sounds... oh, God.” They attacked each other’s mouths in a frenzy of suction and open lips; long, moaning tastes that made his hands shake where they tangled in the hem of her skirt. “I haven’t gone out drinking like this in a while and I’m... I’m making rash decisions...”

Drinking.

She’d been drinking.

What the hell was he doing?

She’d called him, trusting him to get her home safely. Now he was mauling her on the side of a very public street, trying to remember if he still had that condom in his wallet.

Seriously, man?

Get your fucking act together or it’s the last time she’ll ever call you for anything.

“I’m sorry.” He untangled his hands from her skirt, pressing his fists to the ceiling of the SUV, remaining hovered above her while he caught his breath. Stopping wasn’t easy by any means. In fact, it was utter torture, especially when she still had her thighs open for his hips, her tits rifling up and down while she struggled to breathe. “Fuck. I’m sorry. I...”

I’ve been thinking about you nonstop for months.

You make me so horny, I am breathing through my ears.

“No, it’s okay, I asked you to kiss me.”

“Went a little further than kissing. And you’ve been drinking. There’s no excuse.” Burgess garnered the deep inner strength it took to haul himself off his au pair, a girl eleven years his junior who’d asked him for help. Wow. What a bastard. He kept his eyes trained on a point above her shoulder while he pushed her legs back together. She quickly turned in the seat at the same time, staring straight ahead through the windshield, and Burgess took that as a sign to give her a moment to collect herself.

Closing the passenger door, he skirted around the front bumper to the driver’s side, opened it, and climbed in. He went to turn the key in the ignition and cursed, realizing that one, his hands were shaking and two, he’d left the engine running. Tallulah was still looking off into the distance. Because she’d been equally affected by the kiss or because she’d made a terrible mistake asking for his help? Hoping for the former was probably absurd.

Burgess put the car in Drive and pulled away from the club, judging he had approximately twelve minutes until they reached his building and that definitely wasn’t going to be enough time to make her comfortable with him again. “I’m sorry, Tallulah.”

“You can stop apologizing. I encouraged you.”

The confirmation that he hadn’t imagined her willing participation was hell on his dick. It swelled at the proof that she had yanked on his shirt. Her tongue had been inside of his mouth. Those moans were real. Still. “I knew you’d been drinking. I just...” He stopped at a red light, raked a set of fingers through his hair, and decided to go with a modified version of the truth, which was that he’d been in lust with her since they met. She was already freaked-out enough. He just wanted to give her an explanation that would get that deer in headlights expression off her face. “It’s just that I haven’t been with a woman in a while, Tallulah, and you’re fucking beautiful. It’s still not an excuse. And it won’t happen again.”

She turned wide eyes on Burgess.

Said nothing.

“What?” he prompted.

“You’re so intense,” she finally sputtered. “Have you ever made small talk in your life?”

“About what?”

“That’s the thing about small talk. It’s not about anything. It’s small.”

“What’s the goddamn point?”

She implored the ceiling for patience. “It’s preliminary conversation. You have to gauge the other person to see if they’re in the mood to discuss anything deeper. It’s like kissing—”

His zipper turned suffocating. “Please don’t bring up kissing.” While your legs are crossed two feet away in that little leather skirt and stockings. Dear God .

“You’re right, that’s a bad example. You don’t ease into kissing, either. Holy moly .”

He took a right turn a little too sharply. “Is that a complaint?”

“Nope. Just an observation.”

“Okay then.” Let it drop. You should one hundred percent let it drop or you’ll sound insecure or pathetic. “You would have liked it differently?”

“I didn’t say that.” She waved her hands in a crisscross motion. “I guess I’m just wondering if your inability to make small talk has anything to do with...”

“What?”

“Not being with a woman for a while.” She winced a little, as if embarrassed by her own bluntness, yet she still continued. “Small talk is a significant part of dating.”

“Dating?” He cringed involuntarily. “Who said anything about that?”

Understanding dawned on her face. “Oh, I see. No beating around the bush there, either, so to speak. Just straight to the main event.”

“If you’re implying I don’t know how to make a woman wet, I’d be happy to disprove your theory, gorgeous. I only need one hand to drive this car.”

A split second before she looked away, her eyes turned unmistakably smoky, her exposed thigh muscles shifting right there in the moonlight. While he was berating himself for slipping again into an inappropriate place with her, Tallulah was visibly regrouping. And if she had to regroup with him, she was uncomfortable, right? He wasn’t having that.

Change the subject.

“What did that geek do to make you upset?”

“Don’t say geek. It’s mean.” She sighed. “He is kind of a geek, though.”

Burgess’s expression remained stony. “What’d he do?”

She tapped her fingers against her knee and Burgess got the impression she was weighing what and how much to tell him. Everything. Come on. “He wanted to share an Uber,” she said finally. “I said yes, even though I didn’t want to. Then I panicked and told him my boyfriend was coming to collect me.”

“Good. Why did you say yes to sharing a ride, even if you didn’t want to?”

“It’s complicated. Part of it is that I’m going to see him at school and why make things awkward. But mainly...”

“Mainly?”

“I want to stop feeling like this,” she murmured. “Distrustful and helpless. It’s not me. I hate it and I don’t seem to have any control over how it makes me... react. I guess I’m just being impatient with myself. Forcing myself to behave like who I was before . But I’m learning over and over again that I’m not the same person.” She said the last part almost to herself. “I’m not bold and fearless anymore.”

“Really? I think you’re twice as fearless. Most people have the benefit of putting on blinders, walking around thinking that will never happen to me . You don’t have blinders and you’re still going. Still doing .” When she turned to stare at him in silence, he wondered if he’d said the dead wrong thing. “I can’t imagine someone coming out on the other side of something like that... unaffected. But I disagree that you’re not bold and fearless. Now that I know what you went through, when I think of the way you came into my apartment while I was yelling because you wanted to help out with Lissa...” He cleared his throat. “You’re plenty goddamn bold, all right?”

She let out a hitched breath. Paused. “Thank you for saying that.”

The back of his neck felt suddenly hot and all he could manage was a grunt.

“Now that I’m here in Boston and I’m reluctant to do new things, the difference in me is a lot more obvious than it was in Antarctica. As much as I loved hanging out with Chloe, I can’t lean on her company every time. I just don’t want to reach that place where I start staying home and forgoing risks. There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s just not who I am. Was.”

Her explanation made something hard form in his throat and he couldn’t get it down with a swallow. “What things are you reluctant to do?”

She inhaled and let the breath seep out slowly. “I want to go to a show at Paradise Rock Club. I want to climb up beneath the Citgo sign on campus and watch a Red Sox game. I want to go skinny-dipping in Jamaica Pond.”

“Jesus. And you won’t even say yes to a hockey game?”

“I’m thinking about it!”

“What is there to think about?”

“I don’t know. At first, I was hesitant to witness the wrath of Sir Savage. Now... I don’t know.” Her voice dropped to a grumble. “It might be a bad idea to see you in your element.”

Something that felt suspiciously like hope sparked in his midsection. “Why is that?”

“Well. I already know you’re good at kissing. Throwing in a second skill seems like it could get... distracting. Too much capability porn muddles the mind.” Her wince told him she already regretted saying that out loud. But hell if that revelation wasn’t making him sit a little taller. Fine, a lot taller. “And anyway, I don’t have time to be a sports fan. Too time consuming.” She made a face. “Josephine tried to make me like golf and I almost had to kick her to the curb.”

“You wouldn’t do that.”

“I know.” She covered her face and groaned. “I love her so much it’s painful. I can’t believe she’s marrying Wells Whitaker. Once, on a particularly wild weekend in New Orleans, I had to talk her out of getting his name tattooed on her bikini line. That was before they even met. Now they’re going to have a bunch of little golfer babies. It’s too much weight on my heart.” She sat up straighter on a gasp. “Do you think we’re going to be godparents?”

Being connected to Tallulah in any way that included the word “parents” made him feel weirdly giddy. And he didn’t do giddy. In fact, this might have been the first time. And last. “They haven’t even set a wedding date yet and you’re mentally checking them into a delivery room.”

“I know.” She uncrossed her legs and slumped back in the leather seat. “I know.”

Don’t look at her thighs. Distract yourself with something. Anything.

Burgess cleared his throat hard. “So. Skinny dipping, huh?”

Perfect, man. Nailed it.

Now he was thinking of her naked.

“Would you ever skinny dip?” Tallulah asked. “Or does that fall into the same category as small talk? As in, there is no point.”

“There really isn’t.”

“Spoken like a person who has never done it before. It’s exhilarating. The excitement of getting caught alone is worth it.” She stayed quiet for a few beats. “Or it used to be, anyway. I don’t know that I have the courage anymore. To take risks or be adventurous. To do new things without knowing the outcome. It’s all different now.”

That hard object lodged in his throat was expanding by the moment. He didn’t like this. He didn’t like her scared to do the things she loved. Strangling the person who’d done this to her might have helped temporarily, but what he really wanted was her to be fulfilled. Not hiding. That man who’d hurt her wasn’t available for punching now or ever. What Burgess could do, however, was beat down the fear that monster had put inside of her.

“What if you had someone there to protect you?” Shit. First giddy, now vulnerable. All in one night. What was going on with him? She could so easily turn him down. “While you... did these batshit things you believe are entertaining?”

Without taking his eyes off the road, he sensed her head turning in his direction, felt the surprise and curiosity radiating from her. “What do you mean?”

“I mean me. I mean, I’ll come along and make sure nothing bad happens to you.” Already the potential privilege was becoming something he wanted. Needed. “I’m a defenseman, that’s kind of my specialty.”

“Yeah, but . . . you would do that?”

Burgess grunted.

Tallulah sat forward abruptly, gasped. “I have an even better idea.”