Chapter Twenty-Six

B urgess strode along the stone walkway leading to the patio where the welcome dinner was being held, his heart still located in his fucking mouth since his encounter with Tallulah at hotel reception. Encounter? Yeah. More like an ambush.

He was not off to a good start.

Some vine-like greenery blocked his view of the lit-up outdoor space ahead and he smacked it out of his way, berating himself once again for being too impulsive. He’d meticulously written and planned a speech declaring his love, bullet pointing the reasons he could not live without her. He’d intended to deliver it the first time he saw Tallulah again, but as soon as he laid eyes on her, the words he’d practiced in rehab, in the shower and on the plane became nothing but scratches of noise, utterly and completely unworthy of her.

Mother of God, he’d actually let the most beautiful woman alive walk out of his life.

She’d gotten even prettier, too, started doing something different with her eye makeup. She’d bought a new pair of sandals he’d never seen before. A mere six weeks and he’d missed a whole host of little things he could have noticed as they took place, instead of after the fact. How did he screw up so badly? And then double down this afternoon by challenging her, instead of kneeling down in front of the girl and asking for mercy?

These had to be adverse effects of anesthesia.

And God, he could use a shot of the stuff in his chest right now, because the whole thing was a throbbing wound that begged to be numbed, just so he could breathe. Focus.

Focus on what he needed to do.

Apologize. Prove to Tallulah he could be the right man to love her.

Maybe even prove it to himself in the process.

Get her back.

Love her until his heart gave its final beat.

Burgess slowed to a stop on the path when the party materialized in front of him. Approximately three dozen guests mingled beneath a half-moon, sipping champagne from flutes, candles flickering among greenery dotted with white hibiscus. The Beach Boys drifted softly in the humid night air... and all he could see was Tallulah.

In a pink dress.

Not just any pink, though. It was hot pink—and he only knew the exact name of the color from back in the day when Lissa used to play with Barbies. There was nothing plastic about Tallulah, though. Jesus, he’d never seen anyone look softer or more natural, her hair left loose and kind of curly due to the tropical air. Her dress was like a swift knee to the balls. Looking at her actually, physically hurt. Like a son of a bitch.

And the message was clear as crystal. Look at what you’re missing.

Despite the misery it would cost Burgess to get closer, he couldn’t help gravitating toward the party, the need to be near her fiercer than ever. But hell if keeping his jaw off the floor didn’t grow impossible. Goddamn. Her ass and thighs in that tight hot-pink dress were going to be listed as the cause of death at his autopsy. Dew glistened on her skin from the humidity. Her lips were painted to match her outfit. And men were noticing. Golfers.

Fuck. That.

Burgess made a face and stomped into the moonlight, cutting across the grass toward the gate that would let him onto the patio. He closed it behind him with an intentional clang, hitting every golfer at the party with a look that said touch her and die . And he meant it.

Get yourself under control.

He’d lost her by acting like an asshole. He definitely wouldn’t win her back that way.

“Hey, man,” Wells said, appearing in front of him in a crisp white polo shirt, a glass of scotch in hand. “You’re looking a lot better since the last time I saw you. Mostly.”

Burgess stared at Tallulah over his friend’s shoulder. “Mostly?”

“You still look like you’re being tortured on one of those medieval stretcher tables, but at least you’re up and walking around. I call that progress.”

“Not the kind I’m looking for right now.” Sighing, he clapped Wells on the shoulder. “Congratulations on the wedding, by the way.”

“Heartfelt. I’m misting.” Wells chuckled dryly, before leaning in and lowering his voice. “I hear you’re signed up for cliff diving and zip-lining tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” Finally, Tallulah paused in her conversation with a group of women and made eye contact with Burgess, the sudden fulness in his throat making it necessary to pull hard on his collar. “Hopefully we’ll get a chance to talk.”

“That shouldn’t be difficult, since you’re the only ones who signed up.”

“We are?”

“I mean, yeah.” Wells took a sip of his scotch. “You’re also the only ones Carlos was told to schedule for the outdoor activities. If Chloe and Sig had asked to participate, he was going to give them a false time and location, then blame it on me. You’re welcome.”

Burgess found himself at a loss. “Thanks, man.”

“You need the help. Josephine said something about a revenge dress.” Wells shivered. “I’ve never been happier to be getting married.”

Revenge dress.

Burgess eyeballed the sleek curve of Tallulah’s ass, the way the hem hugged the smackable undercurve of her backside.

Yeah.

The phrase “revenge dress” made a lot of sense.

And he deserved every second of the torture.

Reluctantly, he dragged his attention back to Wells. “You don’t think married women can wear revenge dresses?”

Wells paled slightly. “I’m not going to give Josephine a reason to wear one.”

“Uh-huh,” Burgess drawled.

The golfer narrowed his eyes. “Maybe it’s not too late to add a clause to our vows.”

“Good luck with that.”

“Hang on to that luck.” Wells took a glass of champagne off a passing tray and handed it to Burgess. “You need it more than me.”

On his way across the party, Burgess grimaced down at the tiny glass flute in his giant hand, eventually setting it down on a high-top table without taking a sip. He had a lot to get off his chest tonight and wanted to be sober for every word, because the mere presence of Tallulah after six weeks without her was enough to make him feel drunk, as it was. Currently, his former au pair was watching him approach with a wary expression, shifting right to left in her sparkly pink heels. Matching shoes?

Fuck. She really wanted him to suffer.

He passed Chloe and Sig who were arguing quietly about God knows what, but his destination was Tallulah. When he reached the group of women in which she stood, he cleared his throat and the chatter cut off immediately, the strangers splitting their curiosity between him and Tallulah. “Can we talk?” he asked.

“Um. Later would be great,” she said, giving him a flat smile.

Also known as her signature brush-off. He remembered it all too well from the afternoon of the singles mixer in Amory Park. Well, it wouldn’t work with him.

“Later? Sure. Your room or mine?”

“Actually, now sounds good,” she rushed out, complexion turning pink. “Ladies, if you’ll excuse me...”

Burgess stepped aside for Tallulah to precede him, his mouth literally watering as she breezed by, stupefyingly sexy in her pink dress, leaving the scent that had been haunting his dreams in the air behind her. Blood orange and basil. How many times over the last month had he gone into her room and tried to resurrect that smell from her sheets and the air itself? She had no idea how close she was right now to being eaten in one bite.

Tallulah kept walking until they left the glow cast by the candlelight, out onto the stone path that traveled around the back of the resort building. Alone. Finally, alone with his girl again. He wanted to melt them into the side of the clapboard structure like butter, get his mouth on her neck and work that skirt up to her waist, but that wasn’t happening yet. They weren’t even in the vicinity of a reconciliation. And he wanted to get straight to apologizing, but once he started, he wasn’t sure he’d stop until she accepted, so he needed to slow his roll.

“Heard you’ve been on some adventures since the last time I saw you.”

“That’s right,” she said briskly, turning to face him. Looking at him, but not seeing.

“Were you okay going alone?” he asked, hoarse. Unable to hide his leftover worry.

Some of the stiffness left her frame, a muscle working in her delicate throat. “It got easier. And then I was fine. I was proud of myself. I’m... back to where I wanted to be.”

Relief and pride in her joined forces inside of him. “You’re so brave.”

Now she was seeing him. They were both seeing him. In the hospital bed.

Calling her a coward.

He wanted to rip the past down out of the atmosphere and crush it in his fist, but he couldn’t. That was impossible. Time could only move forward.

“Tallulah...” Burgess said, clearing the rust from his throat. “I shouldn’t have come on so strong... earlier. In the lobby. I had a whole apology worked out, but the second I could see you and smell you, my speech didn’t seem worth a damn.”

His apology seemed to surprise her, her mouth opening and closing before she recovered. “Good. You can save it. I’m here for my best friend’s wedding. Rehashing everything that happened six weeks ago isn’t on the agenda.”

“Was it only six weeks ago?” he rasped, his eyes tracing her features. “Feels like a year.”

“Could you just stop...” Was she flustered? Her hands were shaking. “We don’t have to reopen the wound, Burgess. Just let it stay closed.”

“Mine never closed. It will never fucking close.” He couldn’t help it, he took a huge step forward and leaned down to drag in a beggar’s portion of her scent, his hands aching to yank her up against him, to hold her. “If you tell me yours is closed already, I won’t believe you. We need to talk about what happened.”

“Why don’t I just save us both time and tell you we aren’t getting back together? We weren’t even together for five minutes when you threw me out.” He winced at that—regret carving into his chest like a knife—and whatever she saw on his face caused her words to trip over each other. “I just... I think it’s for the b-best if we just try and be friends for the sake of Wells and Josephine. It’s only three days.”

“Friends,” he growled like an epithet.

“That’s right.”

He took a step closer, forcing her head to tip back, relieved when her determination waned in the face of his proximity—and he let out the truth in his heart without tempering a single syllable. If she was suggesting they become friends, he didn’t have the luxury of caution. Or time. “I would give up everything I own to go back to that day and tell you I love you, too, Tallulah. I’d smile while handing over my soul to the devil for that chance.” He touched their foreheads together and her lips parted, in shock or protest over his words, he had no idea. “I love you. And I’m sorry I was heartless with you. I felt weak and I only wanted you to see me as strong. When I couldn’t give you strong, I lashed out. I thought I was doing you a favor, but I fucked up the best part of my life. I’m sorry.”

Several beats passed. “Was that your speech?” she whispered, eyes closed.

“You think I could remember a speech with your mouth this close to mine?” Christ, his voice was unsteady. “I couldn’t even tell you the name of the sitting president.”

Tallulah stumbled back as though someone had cut the invisible strings holding them together, trying to keep her features stoic. Breathing until she succeeded. Had she hardened herself against him already? After a week of calling her with no answer, he’d stopped, vowing to get back on his feet and try again, in person. Once he was able-bodied again.

But maybe he was too late?

“Why is this coming out of the blue?” she finally said, her words jumbled and breathy.

Burgess followed her as she backed up, his steps measured. Determined to get them back on the same page. It couldn’t be too late for them. He wouldn’t survive that reality. “You think this is coming out of the blue? I live, eat, and breathe you, Tallulah. You’re what got me through every grueling hour of rehab. I just needed to heal me, before I could heal us.”

“In other words, you needed me gone. You didn’t want me there. But you can’t kick people out and bring them back in at will. You’ll do it again.”

“I won’t.”

“You’re contradicting yourself.”

“If there is ever a next time, I will hold on to you with both hands. Believe me. But this time, I knew I’d have work to do when I saw you again. To fix what I broke. If you ran away from me, I needed to be capable of running after you. I needed to be able to lift my arms to hold you and tell you how fucking sorry I am. I needed to be able to stand up while fighting off your doubts. Next time, if there is one, we’ll be a team.”

“It won’t mean you didn’t rob me of being on your team this time,” she whispered.

His chest dove inward. “I’m sorry .”

“I believe that. I do. But I’m not putting myself out there again.”

“That’s not what I’ve been told.” Broken glass scraped the inner walls of his chest, ravaging him at having to say this out loud. “I hear there’s some Sagittarius professor interested in you? Is that true? Are you... dating him? Because I’ve been waking up from nightmares about seeing you with another man for over a month.” He ground his molars together so hard, he swore he could taste blood. “God help me, if you’d brought him, I’d have killed him.”

Genuine perplexity created a crease between her brows. “A professor gave me his number, yes, but I didn’t use it. Do you think I could just jump into something else after...” A line drive of relief clocked him in the center of his forehead and he wanted more, wanted to hear she was still stuck on him, the way he’d always be stuck on her, but she gave a jagged shrug, her next words escaping in a rush. “Look, I don’t owe you an explanation. I appreciate your apology and I... hear everything you’re saying, but I think we’ll be better as friends.”

Burgess observed her with so much intensity, it was a wonder she didn’t drop. After several moments of silence, he nodded slowly. “Guess you need to be proven wrong.” He continued forward until she was sandwiched between him and the building, his nerve endings stretching and groaning back to life just to be touching her again. “And forgive me for saying so, gorgeous,” he rasped against her ear. “But if you didn’t want to be proven wrong, if you just wanted to be my friend , I don’t think you’d have worn a dress so short I barely need to lift the hem to get my cock inside of you.”

I love you. And I’m sorry I was heartless with you.

I felt weak and I only wanted you to see me as strong.

That confession sent moisture rushing to her eyes, even as the filth he spoke into her ear made her inner thighs draw together, squeezing. It was too much at once. He was too much at once, and the tide of emotions she’d been furiously stemming for a month and a half came breaking through the dam, busting the sucker wide open.

His breath on the side of her face sent heat snaking down the sensitive side of her neck, making her breasts fuller, achy, so painfully sensitive that her back arched on its own, her stiffening nipples rubbing side to side against his thickly muscled chest, her breath stuttering in thanksgiving over the friction she’d been seeking without finding for interminable weeks. Oh God, the grief and desperation of it sucked her under like a riptide and she gasped for air, calling for his mouth without saying actual words. But he knew.

Burgess rubbed his open lips right to left on top of hers, leaving a wet mess, and she moaned over the carnality of it, the kind she’d never had with anyone else. The animal freedom of clawing and taking and straining and whining. How could she have ignored the need for it for a whole six weeks? The broken heart must have wiped away her ability to do anything but survive.

“I love you, Tallulah,” he said, kissing her hard and looking her in the eye with enough intensity to seize her lungs. “I’m just making sure you heard me.”

“I heard you,” she breathed.

“How do you feel about that?”

“I don’t know. I’m overwhelmed.”

Those two words made his forehead pucker, eyes clenching as if in pain. “No. No, gorgeous. Overwhelmed by what?”

“How much I missed you touching me. I can’t breathe. I can’t... I need you, but I don’t want to have to decide what it means.”

He made a grating sound, like her admission had bought him a stay of execution, but he wasn’t sure if he should take it. “You’ve got me. I’m here to give you what you need. Tell me what it is,” he demanded, licking a moist path up the side of her neck, following the trail back down with a rake of teeth that made her inner walls cinch up like a drawn shoelace. “Do you want me to fuck you?”

Tallulah’s body moved on instinct, turning to face the wall and flattening her palms against it, moving her backside on top of the hardness that had been growing since their lips touched. Maybe before. “Yes, yes, I want that.”

She moaned as her panties were wrenched down to midthigh, his palm skimming roughly up and down the fronts of her legs. Higher .

Slowly, his middle finger pushed down through the soaked valley of her flesh, a second finger joining immediately, pleasing her in thorough circles, his breath hot against her right temple. “Going to use my fingers to get you ready for cock, Tallulah.”

“Yes,” she wheezed, her fingernails turning to claws on the wall. “Please.”

He released a pained groan into the side of her neck. “You’re a noisy little fuck, but I’ll happily take the risk of getting caught to hear you whine my name again.” He tucked two big fingers inside of her sex and jiggled them hard, as if attempting to loosen her up. “Taking it rough from behind is exactly what you wanted when you wore this fucking dress, isn’t it?”

Lust popped wheelies in her middle. Gone. She was so far gone, the possibility of getting caught came secondary to untying the knot that had been growing tighter inside of her since the last time Burgess was inside of her. “Yes. Yes. I wore it to make you ache.”

“It worked. I’m probably going to come on your ass, before I even get it in.”

The coarseness of his tone, the lack of control made her push up on both sets of toes, fitting her bare bottom into his lap and asking for fulfillment with a telltale whimper.

“Even on your toes, you’re shorter than me.” His fingers alternated between strumming her clit and delving two fingers inside of her, pushing them deep enough to make her slap the wall, her eyes watering, before he pulled back out and rubbed that bud faster, faster, faster, until her thighs started to tremble. “Going to pick you up, okay, girl?”

“Yes. Yes.”

Tallulah stared at the wall, panting, as Burgess stooped down and came up fisting his cock, guiding it between her legs while his legs were still bent. But oh God, oh God, as soon as he was halfway inside of her, he rose to his full height, lifting Tallulah a full ten inches off the ground, impaled on his stiffness. “Oh. FUCK. ” He let out a gravelly sound while rolling his hips in a methodical circle. “Only had it once, but I remember this pussy like the back of my goddamn hand. It’s wet and tight and it’s mine.” He bounced her with a savage upward slap of his hips, growling into the top of her head. “You need a good, hard bang, gorgeous, isn’t that right? No strings?”

“Please. Yes, please !”

“You’re going to get it. Exactly what you need from me.” He dragged his open mouth down to her ear, his hands planted on the wall, leaving her fully supported by the rough drives of his hips. “You knew you’d catch this cock in your dick-tease dress. Sit there and fucking enjoy it.” Those teeth razed her lobe, before baring against the side of her neck. “But you’re not going to get me out of your system, if that’s what you think is happening here.”

Her heart lurched at the accusation, not because it offended, but because...

On some level, that’s exactly what she’d been trying to do. To scratch the itch he’d left her with so she could try and move on, really, truly move on. And he felt it. She was attuned to him enough that she noticed Burgess recognize her intent. He cursed at the way she briefly froze, caught red-handed trying to have him one last time, before walking away with the remnants of her heart.

No way was he going to let her get away with that.

His hips continued a slow, thorough upward grind that touched her in places that made her blush, made her face bake. Her heels had long since fallen to the ground, her toes flexing helplessly above the shadowed stone walkway and she was already moaning when his right hand dropped from the side of the building, because she knew it was coming and yet she screamed behind her teeth when he started to play with her clit, grunting and grinding, hips bobbing her up, up, up, those blunt fingers busy drawing her orgasm home.

“Let go, Tallulah. Get me out of your system. Go ahead. Scream and shake until I’m gone. Come on, girl.” He drove into her faster, her backside slapping loudly on his thighs, his mouth open and panting on her neck. “I love you, though. I love you. I fucking love you and you’re going to feel that until I’m dead and gone. The love isn’t going anywhere. Come on my dick while I’m telling you I love you. I dare you to kick me out after that.”

There was no use trying to stop the buildup; the pressure was too great and every organ in her body seemed to be involved, singing in harmony, carrying her toward an emotional and physical impact that would never allow her to be the same. “Burgess...”

“Come.”

“I . . .”

“You’re already there. Ride it out.”

Burgess was right, the light-headedness was stealing over her, the lowest, most sensitive regions of her stomach braiding tight, loosening, and braiding again. She started to rut her hips up and back in his lap, making him growl into the nape of her neck, release hitting her with a knockout blow, and she bore down, tiny muscles clenching, her body trembling like the last leaf on a tree in the winter... and her body slumped, turned to jelly, but only for a moment to enjoy the replete sensation, the total lack of tension, but then she tightened up again, waiting for Burgess to follow her.

He didn’t.

Gently, he set Tallulah back on her feet, kissing her shoulder while pulling her panties back up and securing the hem of the dress over her backside.

“What... about you?” she whispered, still winded. Confusion beginning to creep in.

“Me?” He turned her around, framing her jaw and lifting it so she could see the lust-laced regret in his eyes, traces of the hurt she’d inflicted by trying to eradicate him. “I don’t want you out of my system.” He kissed her hard, once, twice, lingering the second time. “You’re staying there forever. Period.” She reached for him, but he backed up out of her reach, fastening his erection back into his pants with a sharp hiss. “But if you want me out of yours? You’re welcome to try again tomorrow. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Burgess.”

He gave her a final pained look, heavy with regret and unsatisfied hunger, before continuing down the path. “Good night, Tallulah.”