Chapter 32

Chapter Thirty-Two

PETER

I stared at my wife, listening to a story that came straight from a nightmare. It wasn't possible, and yet, she'd have no reason to lie. No reason to make herself look like such a monster. I wasn't sure how to feel about it.

Rage? Of course.

Relief that I knew the truth? I wasn't sure.

Relief that she was alive? Above all else.

"I had to do it. I had to fix us. I needed to come up with a solution… I know it sounds stupid, but I needed you to…to owe me."

"Owe you?" I furrowed my brow. "What the fuck does that even mean?"

"I knew about your affairs. All of them, or so I thought. I knew you were sleeping around. Not with Seth," she added, as I felt my heart plummet. "He was the one you managed to keep from me. But I knew about the others. I'd seen the photos on your phone. I'd followed you a few times when you'd left the house to meet them."

"I don't…I don't understand."

"I was so angry with you. So angry. I'd been good to you. I'd been faithful. I'd stood by your side while you built a company. I'd given you three beautiful children, a beautiful home, and… I still wasn't enough for you."

"You were enough for me, you are !" I told her, feeling my body begin to tremble. I didn't know whether to feel more angry or afraid. I'd sworn to her I had no more secrets, and she knew I'd been lying. So why did I need to forgive her? She should be the one forgiving me…

"I was heartbroken. I wanted to pay you back for the way I felt. I wanted you to hurt . I wanted you to have no choice but to stay with me. I told you when we got married, I'd never let you go. I never wanted to be a divorcée. I didn't want what our parents have."

"I don't want that either…"

"So, when I suggested we see other people, I did it deliberately. I wasn't sure if it was going to work, but I had a plan. One of the first questions I asked my matches was what they did for a living, because I knew what I needed. Stefan being a cop wasn't an accident. He was so proud of his work, and I knew he would take me seriously when I told him my story. On our date, I told him that I was married. I told him my real name, though I pretended that was an accident. I told him that…" She paused.

"That what?"

"I told him that you were controlling. That you'd…that you'd hit me a few times."

"You what?" I screamed, leaping from the couch as anger overtook me. "Jesus fucking Christ, Ainsley. Why the hell would you do that? I've never laid a finger on you."

"I know," she said, wincing. "I know. It's just…I needed him to worry. I told him that I was trying to leave you, and that I needed to meet people and remember who I was before I married you. I told him that I was worried you'd do something awful, but that you had all the money and I was worried you'd take the kids if I didn't stay with you."

"Ainsley…" I shook my head, running my hands through my hair incessantly. How was any of this possible? What was she telling me? "He was a cop. He could've come and arrested me."

"I made him swear not to tell. I told him I could handle it. That I needed a friend. It was awful, I know. And, the worst part is, when I left, I purposely didn't message him back because I wanted him to come looking for me. I wanted him to worry about me. And when he came to the house, he just wanted to make sure I was okay. I didn't know that you'd go through with it. I mean, I hoped you would. I hoped you'd be so scared and you'd have the bat… I hoped you'd protect me, but I couldn't be sure… I know you so well, but I can't always predict your moves. But when you did, when you did exactly what I'd hoped for, I knew I had you. I knew that secret…that was the kind of secret we'd take to our graves. Together. Because we are in it together."

Her face grew stony, though her tone remained sad. "For better or worse. Because your only choice now is to kill me yourself or stay with me forever. I own your secret now, Peter. I own you."

I swallowed, standing from the couch and stepping back away from her. "So he was never going to hurt you?"

"That's just it. Didn't you hear what the cops said? If he was a rapist, then he actually was going to hurt me. You did save me, Peter. You saved my life. Right? If he was going to do something awful…"

I shook my head, my vision tunneling as I tried to make sense of it all. "You didn't have to do this. I was never going to leave you."

She stood, walking toward me. "No, but you were going to keep cheating on me and lying to me. Don't you see? It's fixed now. We're fixed now. All the secrets are out on the table."

She gave a wide grin, as if she was proud of what she'd done. "We can be the people we were again. We can fall in love with who we are now. This is a fresh start for us. You promised we could get through anything as long as we were honest with each other. You promised we could fight to get back to who we were. As long as there are no more lies, and there aren't. I've told you everything."

"I don't know if I can move past this, Ains…"

"You can," she said simply. "You have to. We have to. I've forgiven you, Peter. For Seth. For all the women. All the lies. You can forgive me for this. We can move past it. You said if I told you everything, you'd still love me. You said we'd be together forever. This is our moment of total honesty. We get all the secrets out, and then we move forward. That's what you said."

"Yeah, but I never expected anything like this… You made me kill someone, Ainsley. All for your sick mind games."

"I didn't make you do anything. You're the one who swung the bat."

"Because you told me that he was—"

"What's done is done," she said, swiping her hand through the air as if dusting our problem away. "I'm the one who knows where the murder weapon is. Where the body is. I'm the one who can tell the police what happened that night. And who do you think they'll believe? The jealous husband? Or the wife who went out with a serial rapist and lived to tell the tale?"

She reached out, running a finger down my chest, her nail digging into my skin through my shirt. "Nothing can ever come between us now, don't you see that? If we can love each other through all of the darkness, we'll be able to survive anything. I've given us a gift. I've made our sins equal. I do love you, Peter. I've never stopped. Once the anger fades, I know you'll see it too. I know you love me."

She pressed up onto her tiptoes and kissed my lips. I didn't resist, but I didn't kiss her back. When we broke apart, she appeared unbothered and tapped a finger to the end of my nose. "No more secrets. Just honesty and love."

She lowered herself, gave me a small smile, and walked away. I heard the shuffling of her feet across the hardwood in the kitchen. And then, like so many nights before, as if this night wasn't any different, she called, "I still need to go check on Glennon. Can you handle dinner?"