Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

PETER

A fter Ainsley left for work, I got out of bed and headed downstairs to make a pot of coffee. As much as I felt like lying in bed all day, I knew I needed to get outside and check the porch in the daylight to be sure we hadn't missed anything the night before. Ainsley had left through the garage, and I hadn't had the heart to put anything else on her; she was already in charge of disposing of the murder weapon. The least I could do was check to make sure we'd cleaned up the rest of the evidence.

Though I wanted nothing more than to stay in bed and pretend the day before hadn't happened, I had to get up and moving. I knew the kids would all sleep past noon, but I didn't want to take any chances on visitors or anything of the sort.

Before I'd brushed my teeth or gotten dressed, I made my way through the house and opened the front door. I looked down, glad to see the paint hadn't been removed by the massive amounts of bleach, but, like I'd feared, there was a definite ring of brighter paint just in front of the door. It was obvious we'd cleaned something there. I needed to wipe down the entire area. And fast.

I rushed inside, filled the bucket with bleach and water, and headed back outside with a mop. I set to work, swiping from top to bottom, the smell of the bleach making me nauseous. It was a startling reminder of the night before, making me jittery and nervous again. I couldn't help looking through the razor-thin gaps in the porch, knowing what, or rather who , lay below.

Once the entire porch had been cleaned, I stepped back, looking over my work. It looked much better. No longer could you see the circle where I'd scrubbed until it was two shades brighter than the rest of the dirty porch.

As I heard a car pulling in the driveway, I looked up, surprised to see Glennon's SUV pulling in. I groaned, setting the mop back into the bucket and crossing my arms as she climbed from the vehicle and stepped out onto the drive, headed my way with two red coffee cups in her hand.

"Got your favorite," she called.

"Thanks. Ainsley isn't here," I told her, though I suspected she knew that because she'd only brought two drinks with her, and presumably one was for herself.

"I know. I called her on the way to work, and she said she was at the office today. I wanted to come by and see if you needed any help preparing for the pictures."

My brow furrowed. "Pictures?"

She nodded. "Family pictures…today. Ainsley said you all were doing pictures, right?"

I sucked in a breath, angry Ainsley hadn't prepared me for the lie, and nodded, scratching my temple. "Yeah, that's right. Shit. I almost forgot." I took the cup of coffee from her, its warmth spreading throughout my body.

She studied me. "She said you're planning to use a tripod, so I thought I could come over and help you set up or help get the kids ready, or whatever you might need."

"Yeah," I said, nodding as I tried to keep up. "Er, I mean, no. I think we're okay. Ainsley hasn't told me what we're even wearing yet. I assume she'll figure it out when she gets home."

Her eyes narrowed, jaw twisting to the side as if she were offended. "What are you doing out here anyway?" she asked, pressing her fist into her cocked hip.

I looked behind me, where the mop rested against the wall in the bucket. She'd tracked footprints across the still-wet porch.

"Just mopping. I think we may do some pictures up here, so I wanted to be sure the porch wasn't dirty or anything." I looked away from her, trying not to meet her eye.

"I thought you'd forgotten about the pictures?"

"Oh, right, well I…" I trailed off, unable to focus. Behind her head, I noticed a spatter of blood on the white, wooden column that connected the porch to the overhanging roof.

"Everything okay, Peter?"

I darted my gaze back to her. "Yeah, why do you ask?"

"You seem…off."

"I'm fine."

"How are things between you two? I didn't get a chance to check in with you the other night."

I looked in the house, checking to make sure the kids weren't around. "Things are fine, Glennon."

"Have you told her?"

I groaned, locking my jaw as I looked back out into the yard. "I can't yet."

"You don't have a choice, Peter."

"I do. We do. We don't have to hurt her like this."

"She's going to find out sooner or later. Isn't it better if it comes from you than me?"

"We're going to break her heart, Glennon… How can that be what you want?"

She stepped sideways, moving until I was looking at her, and I focused on the dangling golden moon earring hanging from her earlobe.

"Of course it's not what I want. She's my best friend, Peter. I love her more than anything. But she deserves to know the truth. We owe her that much."

"I know," I said, kicking the porch with my heel. It was the truth, but that didn't make it sting any less badly. "I will tell her. I promised you I would. I just need time."

"I've given you time. But I'm not going to keep letting you off the hook. Tell her soon, or I will." She tucked a piece of her caramel-colored hair behind her ears.

I swallowed, looking down and squeezing my eyes shut. When I looked back up, I said, "I said okay, Glennon."

She tilted her head to the side, reaching out to touch my arm, but I jerked it back. "You should probably get going. I need to get the kids up and fed before she gets home."

Glennon laughed without missing a beat. "Yeah. Good luck with that."

"Thanks for the coffee."

"Anytime." She turned to walk away, but it was hesitant. I knew she didn't want to.

"Thanks for the offer, too," I called, feeling guilty for asking her to leave. I needed to keep things peaceful between us. She had the power to end my marriage, and if I didn't keep her happy, she just might. "About the pictures, I mean."

She spun back around, meeting my eye. There was a sadness there I hadn't expected. "Anytime on that, too. You know I'm always here for you guys."

"I know," I admitted, taking another sip of my coffee for good measure. "Give Seth my best, will ya?"

"Sure thing." She skipped off down the porch back to her SUV in a flash, and the second she was out of the driveway, I let out a loud, exhausted sigh of relief, blinking back sudden tears. I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to live with such fear. It was terrifying, every minute of every day, having all my secrets weighing down on me.

I reached for the mop, remembering the blood on the column beside Glennon's head. I was too afraid to leave the blood for even the amount of time it would take to get a cloth, so I lifted the mop into the air, wiping it away vigorously. Rust-colored water dripped down the white, wooden board, and I continued to wipe and dip, wipe and dip, until it was all cleaned.

Then, I looked around at the rest of the columns and back at the door, realizing how much I'd managed to miss. Everywhere I looked, there were specks of blood. Evidence. Proof of the horrible crime I'd committed. I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

How was I ever going to make this okay again?