Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

AINSLEY

W hen my phone buzzed again, I was filled with dread. I'd spent all morning stressing about Stefan and trying to put it out of my head. After his message that morning, I was hoping he'd give up. I was clearly not going to respond to his messages, but in less than a week, I had received more than ten in total, so every time my phone went off, I'd begun to assume it would be him.

To my relief, it was only Peter.

I have to work late tonight. Can we reschedule family night?

I rolled my eyes and groaned. It was not a surprise. Peter had been working on two big projects at work, so I knew he was busy, but I'd hoped that night would be different. Especially given what had happened between us that morning.

I texted back a quick Sure and slid my phone into my desk drawer. I hated the way the disappointment sat with me. It was heavy, palatable. Like a meal I couldn't seem to rid myself of. It was the same feeling I had as a teenager before lowering my head over the toilet bowl and shoving my fingers down my throat. The action that gave me control over the feeling I hated so much. For the way I was feeling, no amount of purging would help. No amount of slicing of the skin of my inner thighs or running until my feet bled would solve this either, which were my other two coping mechanisms. I felt disgusting. Why had I let him do it to me again? Why had I allowed myself to hope things would be different? I hated feeling powerless. I thrived on fixing things and, when I had no way of doing so, it enraged me.

My phone buzzed, and I pulled it back out, wondering if he could tell I was mad, but the phone screen held Stefan's name again. I blew air from my lips, opening the app.

We need to talk. Please.

I tapped his picture, searching for a way to turn the notifications off. I didn't want to talk to him or anyone else at that moment. I was done talking. Why wasn't he getting it? Underneath his picture were three options.

Report

Block

Rate

I clicked the option to block him, and his picture disappeared. The screen changed to white, our messages gone. As if they'd never existed.

User Blocked.

There. I've done all I can do.

Now I just had to put the worry out of my mind and hope he'd gotten the message. Easier said than done.