Chapter 4

“Yep. Perfect!”I grinned as Tia played a slower version of the Pokémon theme song on my violin weeks after Mrs. Delaney had given it to me.

“That was easier than I thought it was going to be,” she said, offering me a lopsided smile. “I like it. Can you play me a song now?”

I shrugged and took the instrument from her. Mom was on her way home from work, and Trent was sitting at the table grumbling about hating math.

Once I was done with Tia, I’d go to him and give him some help. I’d told him to read the chapter and make notes of things he didn’t understand.

He’d rolled his eyes at me and said he didn’t understand any of it, but I’d insisted he try on his own first.

So he was making paper footballs and flicking them across the table.

That was just how Trent was.

I launched into a song I’d written for Tia. Her eyes sparkled as she listened, a smile on her face. Somewhere in the middle of the song, Mom came home and sat on the couch, listening to me.

When I finished, she sat forward and pushed my black hair off my forehead.

“My angel,” she murmured. “How sweet you are. It’s as if God guides those fingers of yours. Truly gifted.”

I smiled beneath her words, my heart full.

“I want to go to Mayfair,” I said. “For college. It’s the best college for music in the world.”

She nodded. “You’ll make it there. I don’t have a doubt on that.”

“I think Anson is going to be famous someday,” Tia piped up. “Just like me.”

I ruffled her hair, earning an indignant cry from her and a slap to my hand as she batted me away.

“You can be anything in the world you want to be,” Mom said, smiling at us. “You just have to remind yourself of that when you forget.”

“I’m pretty sure I’ll never be a math-head,” Trent called out from the kitchen. “Your words are a throne of lies, Mom.”

Mom closed her blue eyes for a moment, let out a soft laugh, and shook her head.

“Yes, even you can be a math-head,” she said.

“Definitely don’t want to be that,” Trent muttered, going back to flicking another paper football across the table.

“How was work?” I asked her, getting up and placing my violin back into the case before following her into the kitchen.

“Long. Tiring.” She opened the fridge and pulled out the leftover macaroni and cheese I’d made earlier.

“Thought you’d like that,” I said, nodding to the container.

“So much,” she said, popping the lid and moving to the counter to dole some out. I sat next to Trent, and we began working through his homework while Mom watched us, a sad smile on her face the entire time.

One thing about our mother was that she definitely didn’t look her age. Then again, she’d had me when she was only eighteen, so it wasn’t like she was old. At thirty-four, she still was beautiful, with her long black hair, blue eyes, and small build. I often wondered why she didn’t try to date, but she always said she wasn’t interested and left it at that.

Sometimes, I thought it would be nice to have a guy in the house. Not so much for me and my siblings, but for Mom. She was lonely. I knew she was. Sure, she had us kids, but I knew she could use more than us to hug her and tell her everything would be OK.

Trent closed his math book when we were done and let out a whoop before darting off to the bedroom we shared, the door closing behind him. Tia had already gone to her and Mom’s room.

“Angel,” Mom said.

“Yeah, Mom?”

“I’m proud of you. You know that, right?”

“I know,” I said, eyeing her.

“You do so much for us all. Sometimes, I wish you’d just be a kid.”

I waved her off. “I don’t mind. Really. I like hanging out with Trent and Tia.”

“I know, but honey, why don’t you just go out and see what Ryder is up to? Have some fun.”

I shook my head. “I’m good, Mom. I had martial arts today. Music. My family. I saw Ryder at school. I promise you I’m fine.”

“You just take on so much responsibility. You remind me of your father.”

I swallowed hard, surprised she’d mentioned him.

“You’re so much like him,” she continued softly.

“Is that a good thing?” I asked tentatively.

She let out a soft laugh. “Sometimes.”

“Will you tell me about him?” My voice held a note of desperation in it that she must have picked up on because she gave me a slight nod of her head.

“He was brilliant. So sweet and caring. But he was broken too. He put too much of himself into his own family, and we all paid the price for that.”

“How?”

“We just couldn’t live like that,” she said sadly.

“Like what?”

“Like. . . a second family,” her voice cracked. “He was the love of my life. I-I just couldn’t stay and live the way he needed me to, so rather than hold him back, we left.”

I studied her face, taking in the sadness.

“Angel, there’s something I have to tell you,” she continued in a choked voice. Her hands trembled as she gripped her mug.

“What?”

“I’ve been trying so hard to keep up on the rent. I-I just can’t. Louie came back this morning while you were in school and said he’s raising rent three hundred a month.”

My guts iced over. We were barely able to afford what we paid now.

“I-I’m scared,” she whispered. “I don’t know how we’ll do it. There’s just no way.” Her voice finally broke, and she wiped at her eyes quickly.

“I-I’ll sell my keyboard and guitar. My-my violin,” I said. “I’ll get another job—”

She shook her head at me. “No. Angel, no. That will offer us an extra month, two at the most. It’s useless. You need to be focused on school. That’s where I want your head.”

“When does this go into effect?” I asked, fear bubbling up within me.

“The first,” she said, wiping at her eyes again.

“Can’t we call Dad—”

“No,” she said sharply. “We will never call him. Never for anything.”

“Why, Mom? He should be helping us—”

Her bottom lip trembled. “The last thing he should do is help us. We need to never let him find us. It wouldn’t end well for anyone.”

“I wish you’d just tell me,” I said weakly.

“There’s nothing to tell.” She drew in a deep breath and fixed that smile she wore so well onto her face. “I-I’ll figure out something.”

I ground my teeth, knowing it was no good to try to persuade her otherwise. So, instead of doing that, I nodded and grasped her hand.

“I’ll figure this out,” I said fiercely. “I promise.”

The look in her eyes said she was losing hope.

My mom deserved the damn world, and I’d do whatever I could to give it to her. God knew she’d already sacrificed her world for me, Trent, and Tia. It was a cycle that needed to be stopped.

I’d start working on breaking it now.