Epilogue

EPILOGUE

CHARLIE

Five months later

I f someone had told me a year ago that one reckless, amazing kiss at some stranger's party would have led to me regularly attending baseball games, I would have called them a liar. But here I was, sitting in the bleachers with the rest of the crowd, with a few of my fraternity brothers from Alpha Tau, wearing my Lassiter Lions shirt and eating a hot dog. It was like the typical college experience, except I'd never expected that for myself. I'd just kind of thought I'd hide in the library for four years until I came out the other side with a degree. I didn't ever think I'd be the guy with fraternity brothers, a social life, and a boyfriend .

A hot, blond, baseball-pants-wearing boyfriend no less.

Briar was incredibly jealous.

He was sitting beside me now, and even though he had sunglasses on, I knew exactly what he'd be looking at once the game started. He was also stealing Casey's nuggets. Casey was here because Briar was. Briar was here because he was my best friend. I wasn't entirely sure why Marty had turned up today, but probably because there were snacks and he had nothing better to do.

"But you played in high school, right?" Briar asked Casey, his voice low and teasing. "Do you still have the pants?"

Casey blinked at him. "I didn't bring them to college."

"Do you need to get them at a special sports store, or can you buy them anywhere?" He took his phone out. "Wait. Do I want to go to Dick's, just to say that I did?"

"Bro," Marty said. "You go to dicks every night."

Briar arched an eyebrow. "We were studying."

"Studying dicks," Marty said, grinning. He was in a good mood because Dalton was getting into Hopewell tonight and had booked them a fancy hotel. "Right, Casey? Casey? Casey, back me up."

Casey stared at the field, pretending he couldn't hear Marty. Sometimes that was smartest.

"Aw, look," Marty said. "It's Awamity!" He waved frantically.

Awa waved back from two rows over where she and Amity were sitting holding hands. They'd started dating a few weeks ago. Marty had called it before anyone suspected, and that probably included Awa and Amity. I didn't even realize he'd known either of them, but of course he was friends with all the Zeta Tau girls, and he knew Awa from her part-time job on the front desk at student health services. They met when he'd been bitten by an angry squirrel.

Not the first time it had happened, apparently.

It was a big crowd this afternoon. It always was for home games. A bunch of guys from Kappa Beta Rho were sitting in the same section as us. Bart, their chapter president was there, and he waved at me and called out, "Hey, Charlie, you still good for Tuesday night?"

I nodded.

Kappa Beta Rho wasn't the same fraternity it had been six months ago. Apparently getting an elbow to the face had been the last straw for Bart. He had no fucks left to give, and it was like it was his personal mission to drag his fraternity's reputation out of the gutter before he graduated. He'd called the Kappas together, read them the riot act, and reined them in hard.

One of the first things he did was hire me to run a study group once a week at Kappa Beta Rho and make it mandatory for all the brothers to attend. I took the job, and since the fraternity was footing the bill, I charged them double.

Nobody complained about going, at least not to my face. And why would they when they were getting passing grades?

There were no more beer cans littering the front porch at Kappa Beta Rho, and no more all-night parties—and no more Ethan. Bart had kicked him out. The official reason was failure to maintain academic standards , but Tanner had laughingly told me the unofficial reason was "because fuck that guy."

The extra cash from the Kappas also meant I could quit my shifts at Hole Foods, finally ditch that terrible pink uniform, and spend more time with Tanner, so it was a win all round.

Briar nudged me. "That guy is here again."

"You are obsessed with him," I said.

The guy had been at the last couple of home games and even the few away games I'd been to. He was Briar's personal Where's Waldo—he could pick him out of a crowd in minutes. To be fair, he usually stood out because he wore a suit, at least on weekdays when it looked like he'd come straight from work, and he was hot as hell for an older guy. Briar thought that maybe he was some kind of talent scout. I thought he was probably someone's dad.

I scanned the crowd where Briar pointed and saw him. He was two rows down from us, right next to the stairs. He wasn't in a suit today. He was wearing jeans and a T-shirt and was looking at something on his phone.

"He always comes alone," Briar said, as though that was suspicious.

"He's probably a divorced dad," I said .

Briar hummed. "So you're saying he's single?"

I rolled my eyes. "Casey, are you hearing this?"

Casey slung an arm around Briar's shoulders. "You're allowed to look, aren't you, babe?"

"I'd like to see you try to stop me," Briar said, and they shared a grin.

I would have liked to see Casey try to make Briar do anything. We all knew who was in charge. But hey, it worked for them.

There was a tiny itch at the back of my brain that told me I was wasting my time sitting here for hours when I could have been studying, but I ignored it because I was being a supportive boyfriend to Tanner. Lingering guilt still said I owed him. Tanner had made sure to tell me more than once that he didn't blame me for the misunderstanding that had almost derailed our relationship before it had even properly started, which was sweet of him, but he was wrong. I knew why I'd jumped to the wrong conclusion. A lifetime of being the skinny, redheaded brunt of the cool kids' jokes plus my history with Ethan had left me primed to expect the worst. It explained my reaction, but it didn't excuse it.

It was just that Tanner had been too good to be true. Hot, sweet, awkward, and attracted to me? What were the chances of that being real?

Turns out, one hundred percent.

Tanner was still too good to be true, but I was beginning to believe that I deserved to be with him. And I was being the best boyfriend I could be. I'd learned how much self-sabotage hurt me and everyone around me when I'd pushed Tanner away without giving him a chance to explain, and I didn't want to do it again.

Those had been the most miserable four days of my life.

Seeing Tanner hurt had made it clear how much I cared for him, and I'd been prepared to live with the fallout from dating him, but the reaction from our fraternities when we'd come out as a couple had been… underwhelming.

Marty had kicked himself for missing what was right under his nose—he claimed shipping was his superpower—but other than that, nobody at Alpha Tau cared. The exception was Briar, who was unbearably smug for weeks. Not that I blamed him, since he had been the one to step in and tell Tanner what was going on.

And as for the Kappas? Bart had been over the moon when he found out we were a couple, because he said me and Tanner dating was the perfect excuse to put a stop to years of petty bullshit between the Kappas and the Alpha Taus. And that's all it had ever been—petty bullshit. It was my leftover anxiety from my freshman year combined with a lingering fear of Ethan and his cronies that had made me paranoid.

Some of the Kappas were idiots, sure, but the rivalry had never been pistols at dawn. And I'd known that all along. It had just been easier to let Tanner think we were star-crossed lovers in the middle of a massive frat war than admit the truth to him: I was intimidated by a bully. Because Tanner liked me a lot, and a part of me had thought that if he found out that I was middle-school-scared of Ethan, that he'd think less of me.

I understood now that he never would have.

"You wore the short pants, right, Casey?" Briar asked, scrolling through the Dick's website on his phone. "Not the long ones? This is very important to my fantasies of you in your old uniform, so think carefully before answering."

"I had both, babe," Casey said. "Plus socks and stirrups."

Briar blinked at him. "Well, giddyup, son."

His thumbs flew over the screen as he added stuff to his cart, and Casey laughed.

I tuned everything out then, because the teams were running out of the tunnel and onto the field. I stood up with the rest of the crowd to clap and cheer, my chest filling with warmth as Tanner turned around to wave toward our section. And then I settled back into my seat and waited for the game to start.

One of the things I admired about Tanner was the way that he handled losing. If I got a B on a paper someone had to talk me down from a metaphorical ledge, but Tanner took a loss on the chin with equanimity. Instead of fixating on what had gone wrong, he focused on what he could do differently next time. Still, he was a little quieter than he would have been after a win when he knocked on the door at Alpha Tau that evening.

He smelled fresh and clean from his post-game shower, and his hair was still damp, so Coach Larson hadn't kept them long. I caught his hand and led him up the stairs. When we got to my room, I gave him a hug, and he put his forehead on my shoulder.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Just wiped," he said, squeezing me. "I'm good though."

I ran a hand over his shoulders. "I dunno. You seem kinda stiff. Maybe you should lie down so I can rub some of the tension out."

It was supposed to be romantic and seductive, and Tanner straightened up immediately. "Would you?"

And then his stomach growled, loud enough for me to wonder if Squirrel was in the room with us.

"Did you eat yet?"

"Uh," he said, which answered that.

"That's a no. Wait here, and I'll go fix you a sandwich."

"You don't have to do that."

"Wait here," I said, and pointed at my bed before heading downstairs again.

This wasn't me being a supportive boyfriend, for the record. This wasn't even me doing him a favor. This was entirely selfish. Tanner was going to need some stamina for what I had planned tonight.

Okay, so that wasn't totally true either. I didn't really have plans. I had fantasies, maybe, but nothing solid enough to call a plan. But that was one of the great things about me and Tanner. We were both still figuring out what we liked and having a lot of fun along the way, but there was no pressure. If Tanner fell asleep while I was getting him a sandwich, it wouldn't be the first time that had happened after a game. On the other hand, if I woke up tomorrow morning to him offering to blow me, that would hardly be a first either. And honestly, I was just as down to cuddle as I was anything else.

We were taking things slow.

We'd talked a bit about topping and bottoming, and what we thought we'd both like. And our answers were a mix of "I don't know" and "maybe both" and "can we try with fingers first and see?" But we hadn't got any further than fingers just yet, and that was okay. What we did already was plenty hot, and we had all the time in the world to figure the rest out later.

Briar was digging through the refrigerator when I got into the kitchen. "Hey."

"Hey," I said. "You're staying with Casey tonight, right?"

"Yup," he said. "Marty's at a hotel with Dalton, so we're making the most of it." He gave me a wicked grin. "And I guess you and Tanner are too, huh?"

I ignored the way my face burned. "I guess we are."

Briar laughed. "Have fun!"

I made Tanner a sandwich and poured a glass of milk and carried them back upstairs to him. He hadn't fallen asleep in the few minutes I was gone, but he was stretched out on his stomach on my bed wearing nothing but his underwear. He was resting his cheek on his folded arms, and he gave me a sleepy smile as I set the sandwich and the milk down on my desk.

Then I carefully moved my laptop bag out of the way. Tanner had bought it for me for Christmas and had finally given it to me after we'd gotten together officially. It was thoughtful and practical, and sometimes he sneaked little folded notes into the outside pockets. I kept the notes in a lunchbox in my closet.

I like your face , one said.

It's only six a.m. and I already miss you , said another.

And the one I'd found last weekend said, I love you, Charlie.

I'd smiled so hard when I'd read it that my face hurt, and I'd tucked one in his gym bag that said, I love you too, Tan.

He kept it in his wallet.

I leaned down over him and kissed his cheek. "Do you want the massage first and the sandwich after?"

He sighed. "I don't know."

Well, if he was so wiped that he couldn't answer, I'd have to make the decision for him. I slapped his ass. "At least drink your milk."

He groaned and rolled into a seated position, and I passed him the glass.

He chugged it.

It was kind of gross, but I'd never been a fan of milk. Tanner swore it was better than sports drinks though, and I guessed he knew about that sort of stuff. He wasn't obsessive about his diet or anything, but he was aware of everything he put in his body in a way that I wasn't. And it certainly worked for him.

I watched his throat bob as he drank and then the way his muscles shifted under his skin as he reached out and put the empty glass on the bedside table. His underwear was only half-heartedly clinging to his hips, and I was suddenly mesmerized by his abs. Which happened pretty much every time he took his shirt off, honestly. And then he grinned at me and stretched, lifting his arms high and pulling his shoulders back, and I might have actually drooled.

Sometimes I hated how many hours Tanner had to spend at the gym and on the field, but I couldn't deny I loved the results. My boyfriend was smoking hot.

And the wildest thing was that he felt the same about me. He liked that I was taller than him, and he was weak for my pale skin and red hair. Plus, he was really into my collarbones. The first time I'd gotten naked in front of him I'd been nervous, worried that he might be disappointed, but when I'd taken off my underwear, his mouth had dropped open, and he'd stared, wide-eyed. Then he'd shoved me back against the bed and spent the next little while running his hands all over me and mouthing at my skin, showing me just how much he liked it.

I was at the stage now where I didn't question it. If Tanner thought I was sexy, who was I to argue?

Tanner leaned back on his elbows, making his abs ripple, and patted the bed. "You gonna get in here with me?"

He didn't need to ask twice. I peeled out of my shirt and jeans and climbed onto the bed. Tanner rolled to face me, and we kissed. Kissing Tanner was warm and familiar. Some nights we just kissed for hours, and some nights?—

Tanner slid a hand down my side and curled his fingers around my hip. Then he found the elastic of my underwear and slipped his fingers inside to tease the soft skin hidden underneath.

Yeah.

Some nights we took it further.

I hummed and cupped his ass, pulling him closer. There was a flurry of elbows and knees while we shimmied out of our underwear, and somehow the removal of a thin layer of cotton made everything about a thousand degrees hotter.

"Have you got lube?" Tanner whispered.

I twisted around, trying to reach the drawer of my bedside table without falling off the bed. I got it open but then overextended, attempting to close my fingers around the tube, and only Tanner's quick reflexes saved me. Laughing, he pulled me back onto the bed properly, and I smacked him on the hip with the lube. He rolled us away from the edge of the mattress and took the tube from me, still laughing. I liked that about us—that we could make sex fun. Tanner's abs were sexy, but when he laughed so hard his whole body shook, it was even sexier.

I leaned forward and kissed him, and his laughter faded as the heat rose between us again.

I settled my body over his, propping myself on my elbows, and kissed him some more. His erection twitched and jumped against my bare skin where our stomachs were pressed together.

The faint click of Tanner flipping open the lid of the lube made me shiver. My dick, which had been hard this whole time, gave an urgent throb, like it was reminding me to hurry the hell up.

Tanner worked a hand between us while I shuffled up the bed so our dicks were lined up, and then he wrapped a slick palm around them both. The touch had me moaning against his mouth, mixing with the noises he was making. He started to jerk us off, slow and slick and lazy, and it was fucking incredible.

I shivered, the wet hot slide of our dicks in his hand driving me wild. I put a hand on his hip, pulling him closer, increasing the pressure. Tanner arched up, his breath coming in hot little puffs against the side of my throat. He slid a thigh between mine; somehow, we found a rhythm and made it work.

Tanner kissed along my collarbone, sending heat racing through me, and I rocked into his hand with more urgency. My balls throbbed in warning. " Tan !"

He grunted in response, and when he tightened his grip and sped up his movements, I was done. He wasn't far behind me, shuddering and moaning and panting hard against me as he came.

We lay there for a moment, gazing at each other with dumb smiles on our faces. No matter how often we did this, it never got old.

Tanner was the first to move, untangling his legs from mine and rolling off the bed.

I watched his ass as he walked across the room.

Excellent view. Ten out of ten. Would recommend.

He grabbed my towel from the hook on the back of the door and balled it up. He tossed it across the room to me, and I caught it and wiped myself off.

"I have the best boyfriend on campus," I said. I'd definitely have to put the towel in the wash later.

"Nuh uh," he said. I thought he was going to come back to bed, but instead he veered toward my desk and grabbed his sandwich. He grinned at it and then at me. " I do."

Well, that worked too.

I crawled out of bed for long enough to pull the comforter back, and then got back in. Tanner finished his sandwich and joined me.

The evening light filtered through the window, and I pulled Tanner closer.

"But soft," I said and didn't get any further before Tanner poked me in the ribs.

"Is this your way of asking me to close the curtains?"

"I was being romantic," I protested.

He poked me again. "I don't know if you realize this, Charlie, but Romeo and Juliet isn't a romance."

"It isn't?"

"No," he said, his voice mock-serious, "it's a tragedy. Not many people are aware of that, so I'm not surprised you weren't. You kind of have to be an English prodigy like me to know shit like that."

"Huh," I said, trying my hardest not to laugh. "Lucky we're not as dramatic and as prone to miscommunication as those two dumbass teenagers, or this could have ended really badly."

He leaned over and kissed my cheek. "Right? We're so much smarter than those idiots."

Well, maybe we weren't, at least not when we'd started out, but we'd figured it out in the end, and that was the important thing .

I put my arms around him, and we snuggled deeper under the comforter.

Yeah.

Maybe I didn't look like Leo, and maybe Tanner couldn't quote poetry at me, and we would never have a balcony scene for safety considerations alone, but who cared about that? Here we were, wrapped in each other's arms as another evening softened slowly into night, and it was perfect. This was our happy ending right here. Except, this didn't really feel like an ending. It was more like a glimpse of the future.

Our future.

Together.