Epilogue

Three months later

Somewhere on I-95, just outside of Stafford, I got so mesmerized by watching Casey's hands on the steering wheel that I zoned out and completely missed what he said to me. His index and middle fingers tapped on the wheel, tendons popping and knuckles shifting in a wave, and all I could think about was how last night those fingers had been inside me until I'd cried, and then he said, "Briar? Earth to Briar?" and I jolted back into awareness.

I did not like awareness.

Awareness was a hungry pit of anxiety in my gut, growing more and more ravenous with every passing mile.

"What?" I snapped and flinched at the tone in my voice.

Casey didn't though. He just looked over at me and raised his eyebrows. A question, not a rebuke.

"Sorry," I said and tempered my tone. "Sorry, what did you say?"

"I asked if you were okay," he said, looking back at the road. "But then you almost took my head off, so I guess that answers that."

"Sorry." Did I sound like a broken record yet? I tugged at the cuffs of my sweater and remembered the Lassiter hoodie in my backpack. Maybe I should wear that instead? "I'm nervous is all."

I'd worn the sweater with the lace inserts because it was one of Casey's favorites, and it usually made me feel good. This afternoon it was doing the opposite though and only magnifying my insecurities. I thought I'd put on armor, but what if I'd put on a target instead? What if they hated me?

"Briar," he said, just like he'd said about a hundred times over the last few weeks, ever since we decided to do this, "they're gonna love you."

And he said it with such certainty that I wanted to believe him, but I wasn't quite there yet. Past experience had taught me that there were no guarantees. But it was Casey's mom's birthday, and I had to meet his folks sometime.

I made a noise that I hoped passed for agreement.

It clearly didn't because Casey took the next exit off I-95.

"Where are we going?" I asked. He didn't answer. I glared at him and then at the bright red sign we were approaching. "Sheetz? We're stopping at Sheetz?"

He gave me a maddening grin and didn't answer.

He didn't have to answer, because, yes, we stopped at Sheetz.

A few weeks back, we'd gone on a trip to stay at Marty's grandfather's cabin with Marty and Dalton. Fishing and shooting and that kind of shit. Which was not my kind of shit. So Dalton and I had mostly stayed inside and played Monopoly with Marty's grandfather's husband—and hadn't that little revelation been a surprise?—while Marty and Casey and Marty's grandfather got all outdoorsy and muddy and stinky. Anyway, on the way back, we'd stopped at a Sheetz, and Casey had bought me a quesarito. So he joked now that Sheetz was our restaurant. It was a pretty lame joke, but I let it slide as long as the quesaritos kept coming. And those cinnamon almonds because those were legit incredible.

"I'm not going in," I said when he'd pulled into a parking spot.

"You don't have to," he said. "I'm just getting snacks."

"Can you get me a quesarito?"

He grinned at me. "I know your order, baby."

And fuck him for calling me that when he was fully aware it turned my insides to jelly and took away my ability to argue with him.

I leaned against the passenger window and watched his ass as he went inside. It was a hell of a view. While he was gone, I flipped down the visor and examined myself in the mirror, running my fingers through the front of my hair to make it sit right. I debated changing my sweater for the hundredth time before catching sight of Casey's phone still sitting in the center console. I knew if I touched the screen, it would light up to show a picture of me. The me in that picture had cherry-red lips and killer eyeliner, and I was sucking on a lollipop with a gleam in my eye. If you looked at that picture and guessed that ten minutes later I'd sucked Casey's dick, you'd be right.

But that wasn't the point. The point was, when Casey had taken that photo, he'd spent a solid minute staring at it with dumb heart eyes before setting it as his lock screen. I'd never been someone's lock screen before, and it still made me warm all over. And the me in that picture? That was who he wanted his parents to meet—the real me, not some watered down, apologetic version of myself.

So why the fuck was I still wanting to wrap myself up in my boring Lassiter hoodie when instead I should have been digging through my bag to get to my eyeliner and lipstick?

It was simple.

I wanted them to approve of me. I didn't care if I walked into a room full of strangers and they stared and laughed, because fuck them, but Casey's family? Okay, they were strangers too, but I needed them to like me. I didn't want Casey to have to ever choose between his family and me because I might have been his lock screen now, but that didn't mean I'd be his first choice. And I wanted to be his first choice because he was mine.

My phone buzzed with a text alert, and I pulled it out of my pocket. It was a message from Charlie.

Did you take your laptop with you?

Yes. In case I need to watch Netflix.

NO!!!! For your English paper!

Charlie had been my study buddy for three months now, and he took it very seriously.

Relax. I was kidding. I'm going to get it finished.

I couldn't pretend that my grades had shot up into the stratosphere or anything, but with Charlie's help, at least I was treading water now instead of sinking. It turned out that Charlie in tutoring mode hit the perfect combination of calm and reassuring, and when he explained things I didn't understand, it somehow tricked my brain into retaining the information. Plus, letting Charlie down would have been like kicking a puppy.

Anyway, I was getting to grips with all the course material I'd been ignoring. Partly it was Charlie, but partly it was that I was no longer struggling under the weight of the lies I'd told to get into Alpha Tau. Now that I wasn't running every sentence through a fact checker before I opened my mouth to make sure I had my story straight, I had a lot more capacity to actually study.

Who knew that honesty really was the best policy?

And the guys were good. None of the brothers seemed to be holding a grudge. I guess that my parents had done me a favor, in a twisted way, by turning up like they had that day. Not only had the Alpha Taus decided not to kick me when I was down, but they'd lifted me back up and dusted me off. Turned out that stuff Casey had droned on about when I was pledging had been real—the brotherhood, the trust, the strength, the family. At the time I'd thought he was either an idiot or a hypocrite—a hot one, but still—but he'd been right all along.

So maybe he was right about his family liking me as well.

I still wasn't sure how I'd ended up in a "meet the parents" situation if I was honest—and I was trying to be honest these days—because that hadn't been my intention.

My initial assessment of Casey had been "cute but straight, probably full of shit." But then that bi flag had appeared on his door, and it had caught me off guard. I'd had to concede that maybe when he talked about inclusion, he was talking about himself too, so he probably meant that bit at least.

Still, when the challenge had come to wear a skirt to sell candy, I'd decided, fuck it. Why not dress all the way up and put Alpha Tau to the test and see if they—and Casey specifically—were as chill as they claimed? I figured if they were dicks about it, at least I'd know. At least I'd prove they were full of shit.

But when I'd showed up in full femboy mode, rocking a skirt, makeup, and stockings, nobody had been a dick—other than Ethan, but that was no surprise—and Casey hadn't acted like he was disgusted or weirded out—far from it. No, Casey had stared at me as though he wanted to devour me like the candy bars we were selling—and damn if it hadn't sent a thrill right down my spine.

And later that night when he'd taken me to the basement to "study the charter," I'd caught him looking at me again, undeniable hunger in his gaze, and I'd thought that it might be fun to rattle his cage a little by coming onto him. Plus, I mentioned he was hot, right?

I'd thought he'd turn me down, but he'd been into it. Really into it. And watching this too-good-to-be-real, boy-next-door type, losing his mind over thighfucking me in stockings and a skirt? It was sexy as hell and so was he. I wanted more.

It turned out we both did. And I'll admit, I didn't make it easy for him. Why would I? But every time I threw a curveball Casey's way, he surprised me by catching it, and I found myself trusting him more and more—which, believe me, was a shock to both of us.

And now? I trusted him completely—more than trusted him. Sometime in the last couple of months, I'd gone from liking Casey a whole lot to loving him.

I was in love, and it was scary as hell but also the best thing ever.

I hadn't told him yet, but I was planning to.

Just as soon as I screwed up my courage.

When Casey got back to the car, he was juggling a couple of drinks, a bag of quesaritos and fries, and he had a pack of cinnamon almonds shoved down the front of his shirt. We ate in the car. Casey finished first and scrolled through his text messages.

"Mom says are you allergic to anything?" he asked.

"Nope." Except possibly the entire Hill family experience.

Casey snorted at something on his phone. "Allison wants to do another candy drive, like we didn't kick the Zetas' asses last time."

I hummed. "You said it was your best fundraiser yet."

"Yeah," he said. "When Scout saw the final tally, he almost smiled."

I snorted. "Scout's a marshmallow."

"Don't let him hear you say that," Casey said, grinning. "He thinks we haven't noticed."

"Well, he's an idiot." I reached into the back seat and wrenched my backpack forward onto my lap. The grease from the food had done a number on my lip gloss. I opened my backpack and dug around for my makeup bag. I found my lip gloss and put it on.

"You're just using the clear?" Casey asked.

I hummed an affirmative and pretended my stomach didn't twist at his loaded question.

"I like that red one you use," he said.

I gave him a look. "That's not exactly specific."

"The new one."

"It's called Lady Bug," I said. "It's MAC."

Mel, Alan's wife, had given it to me. Both she and Alan were pretty chill about the whole... well, about me. I'd been spending more time with them these last few months, learning to believe I was wanted, because I thought that maybe that was true. It was a new feeling, and I was trying to lean into it slowly, because it took a lot of getting used to.

Casey grinned. "I understood some of those words." Then his smile faded into something more serious and about a hundred degrees hotter. "I really like that one."

My fingers closed on the Lady Bug in my makeup bag, but I forced them open again. "Maybe you can take me on a date sometime, and I'll wear it."

Casey reached out for my spare hand. Curled his fingers around my wrist and stroked my pulse point. "What else will you wear?"

I licked my lips and didn't miss the way his gaze followed the movement. "Let's see. Where are we going? Cafe Meow?"

"No," he said quickly. "Somewhere better."

I hummed. "Heels, then," I said, "and definitely stockings. And maybe, oh, that black-and-blue skirt with the lace trim?"

Casey's mouth dropped open. "You'd wear that for me?"

I put my index finger up to my mouth and bit the end of it lightly. Hummed, like I had to think of how to answer. "I guess so. If you promised to make it worth my while."

Casey shifted in his seat, tugging at his jeans. "Would it be those stockings with the ribbons at the top?" he asked, and I almost laughed at how eager he was. Casey was crazy for those stockings.

I bit my bottom lip. "Hmm. I suppose so."

"You're such a fucking tease," he said, but I could tell he was enjoying every minute of it. God, I loved how transparent he was. Scratch that, I loved him. But I still laughed when he palmed at the front of his jeans again and gave me a betrayed look. "How am I meant to drive with a boner?"

I reached over and put my hand on top of his. "I could blow you if you want. Put that lipstick on and?—"

"Briar! We're in the parking lot of a Sheetz!" He looked equal parts scandalized and intrigued.

I shrugged. "Guess you're driving like that, then."

It wasn't very fair of me, but hey, I hadn't forced his dick to get hard. Besides, if I had to be uncomfortable when I stepped out of the car when we finally got to his parents' place in Arlington, then so did he.

Casey's parentslived in a cream-colored Craftsman style house with a wraparound porch and a red doorway. It was picture-perfect, situated on a tree-lined avenue with wide sidewalks. The front lawn was neatly manicured. It was the sort of house that when you looked, you just knew whoever lived there gave out the full-sized candy bars at Halloween. That didn't stop my stomach from swooping like we were at the house from Amityville Horror instead.

We stopped behind a small blue hatchback, and Casey said, "Hey, Jamie's home too!"

I tried to smile, like that was a good thing. Who didn't love meeting extra family members with no warning?

"Hey," Casey said, in an encouraging tone of voice. "You've got this, okay? You're fucking incredible."

I tugged at the hem of my sweater. "That's it? That's the pep talk?"

"You're incredible, period. That encompasses everything." He reached out and took my hand and squeezed it. "Okay, so how about this? They're gonna love you. I know I keep saying that, but that's because I'm certain it's true. But you're not, and I get that. So, here's the deal. If you're uncomfortable, or you hate it, or, hell, the cat looks at you sideways, we'll leave."

My heart beat a little faster. "Really?"

"Yup." His eyes crinkled when he smiled. "Simple as that."

"You'd choose me over them?"

"Yup."

"You make it sound easy," I said.

"Briar." He let out a slow breath. "It's an easy promise to make because I know it's not gonna happen. But if it did? Then, yeah. I'd choose you."

I stared at Casey, who'd never dated a guy before but who had pushed past his own inexperience and my bullshit and taken a chance on me—on us. He was the one who was incredible.

The words spilled out of me without warning. "You know I love you, right?"

Casey's eyes went wide. My heart clenched, just for a second, but then he smiled that dumb smile that he kept just for me and said, "Thank fuck you said it first. I've wanted to tell you for weeks, but I was scared it'd freak you out."

It was the least romantic declaration I'd ever heard, and I didn't care. It was still enough to bring a lump to my throat and make my heart flutter in my chest in the best way.

"You still didn't say it," I pointed out, fighting a smile.

Casey laughed. "I love you, okay?"

It felt just as good to hear it as to say it.

"Oh, man," Casey said. "How awesome is this? We get to say it all the time now."

I squeezed his hand and smiled. "It's pretty awesome." I glanced out the windshield to see the curtains at the front of the house fluttering. "Okay, let's do this. Let's go inside. Only because there's a cat in there though."

Casey laughed and leaned over the console and kissed me, a brief, comforting brush of his lips against mine. "If anyone's going to be an asshole, it'll be the cat. But don't take it personally. She's an asshole to everyone."

"I like her best already."

"Yeah," he said. "You're probably soulmates or something."

I checked my reflection in the mirror and bit my lip. When I'd left home, I'd promised myself that I wouldn't hide who I was anymore. Maybe it was time to live up to that.

As Casey went to open the door, I said, "Wait!"

Casey paused and turned to me, his brow creased in concern. "We don't have to?—"

I waved an impatient hand at him as I dug in my bag, pulling out the Lady Bug and applying it expertly. I pressed my lips together and checked my reflection again. I looked fucking amazing, and screw anyone who thought otherwise.

I arched an eyebrow at Casey. "Just so you know, if your parents are dicks about this, I reserve the right to string you up by your balls. Deal?"

Casey was grinning from ear to ear when he said, "Deal, baby."

We got out of the car just as the front door swung open, and an attractive woman stepped out onto the porch.

I took a deep breath. Casey was sure his parents would like me, and one thing I'd learned was that I could trust him. So I was going to trust him with this too. I reached out and grabbed his hand to steady my nerves, and he tangled his fingers in mine as we walked up the path together.

His mom stepped forward eagerly and met us halfway down the driveway, like she'd just been waiting for us to make the first move. The front door opened again, and a tall, sporty-looking guy who must have been Casey's father joined her.

His mom wrapped Casey in a hug that was hard enough to cause him to let out a squeak that I'd definitely give him shit about later. She turned to me. "You must be Briar! I haven't heard nearly enough about you because Casey is terrible at communicating."

"Really?" I said before I could stop myself. "Because normally he won't shut up."

Casey's mom laughed, and Casey gave me a grin.

"Oh, aren't you just gorgeous!" his mom exclaimed, letting go of Casey and pulling me into a hug that smelled like Estée Lauder's White Linen. She took a while to let go, but I didn't hate it. "Now, Casey said you're not allergic to anything, but I wanted to double check."

"No, I'm good," I said.

"Great! Because Alex makes a satay chicken to die for. But if you had a peanut allergy, well, you'd literally die from it, and what is it I always say, Casey?"

"That you wouldn't handle prison," he said.

My mouth dropped open, but his mom just laughed.

Wait... she really always said that?

"Come on in and meet Alex and Jamie," Casey's mom said, "and Casey can show you where to put your bag. I've put you both in Casey's room. Is that okay?"

"Uh, yeah," I said, heat creeping up my face. "That's fine."

Casey's mom shot me a smile as she led the way toward the porch.

Casey squeezed my hand. "You good?"

"Yeah," I said, and I drew a deep breath and discovered that it wasn't a lie. I was done with lying, after all. I was here, in a new place, in the middle of meeting new people whose opinion of me mattered, but I was okay. Because I was holding Casey's hand, and I loved him, and it turned out he loved me too.

There had been a lot of people in my life who'd looked at me and didn't like what they saw. But now there were a lot of people in my life who supported me: Alan and Mel, my brothers at Alpha Tau, and Casey Hill. Casey Hill, that idiot or hypocrite pledge master who'd turned out to be telling the truth the whole damn time. But not the whole truth. He'd told me I'd have brothers and a family in Alpha Tau. He didn't tell me I'd be loved. But here I was, holding his hand on a driveway in Arlington, and I was safe and happy and loved.

And I was going to hold onto that feeling for as long as I could. For today, for this weekend, for the rest of my time at Lassiter. And just maybe, with Casey beside me, for the rest of my life.