CHAPTER 29

CHAPTER 29

Cynthia

My wolf doesn’t want to heal. It doesn’t want to do much. And now, it’s beginning to infuriate me.

"You sure you’re ready to go home?" Lydia asks. It’s been a couple of days since my talk with Adam.

"I am." I feel physically weak, but I have no plans for laying in this infirmary bed for the next two lifetimes.

"Your wolf isn’t completely––"

"It’s being a brat," I hiss, my muscles aching with the movement. "But I’m the one in charge, so it had better get with the program."

Lydia gives me a pleased look. "Good. Keep facing forward and it will have no choice but to pull itself back up. What do you plan to do now?"

"Adam will come to visit Riya," I reply, following her outside. "But he’s going to give me space. I’m not going to resign from my job. I’ll also keep the apartment. Nothing’s going to change, I guess. I considered switching jobs, but what’s the point? It’s not like I’m not working there as well. With Kofo gone," my voice catches at the memory of my sweet-natured assistant, "there will be a higher workload."

"I’m sorry about your assistant." Lydia opens the car door for me. "Adam told me."

I try to smile, but my heart is too heavy.

"I heard it Riya’s birthday is in a few days," Lydia changes the topic, probably sensing my grief.

"Oh, yeah." The thought cheers me up.

"What are you planning to do?"

"I was planning to take her to an amusement park that just opened up with Maya and Tony, but I think it’ll just be the two of us now. It’s also going to be Adam’s first time celebrating Riya’s birthday, so I’m thinking of doing a small dinner at the apartment later on. I’ll be inviting Tony and Maya as well. You should also come."

Lydia studies me, her expression a little sad. "Honey, you can stop referring to it as the apartment and call it home."

I give her a bitter smile. "But it’s not home, is it? It’s just the place where I’m raising Riya. It’s not mine even if Adam put my name on the deed. Everything I have belongs to Adam."

Lydia looks torn. "He’s your mate, Cynthia. Everything he has is yours."

I just give her a wan smile, knowing she won’t understand. As long as I didn’t build it with my own two hands, as long as I didn’t seize the opportunity on my own, it’s not my achievement.

Adam is waiting at the apartment for me, Riya hanging from his neck like a little monkey. As soon as she sees me, she jumps off his back. "Mommy!"

She rushes into my arms and, despite how weak my body feels, I pick her up. "Look at you! Have you been a good girl? Did you behave yourself?"

She nods her head fervently. "Papa and I got you a surprise."

She wriggles out of my hold while I try to come to terms with the title of ’Papa’ for Adam. When I look at him, he gives me a sheepish look. "It’s from one of her books. I’ve been reading her bedtime stories, and she liked ’papa’ better than ’dad’."

Just then, Riya, who had run off to another room, comes back, carrying a large basket of flowers. There are small chocolates sticking out of it.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it, baby." I kiss her cheek.

"Papa put in the chocolates!" Riya grabs my hand, pulling me over to Adam. "You should kiss him, too."

My eyes widen, and Adam immediately says, "She kissed you, so that’s enough."

"No!" For some reason, Riya seems adamant that her father also get a kiss as a thank you for the flowers. Adam looks like he’s ready to make a break for it, and I know he just doesn’t want to put me in an uncomfortable position. Not wanting to escalate the situation, I simply lean over and peck him on the cheek.

My wolf sits up inside me, alert.

Adam freezes.

"Don’t make a big deal out of it," I mutter, trying to calm down my own raging heartbeat at what should be easy affection.

"Of course not," he tries to say politely, but he looks equally flustered.

Both of us are trying to avoid each other’s eyes.

Riya, on the other hand, looks pleased.

"I should get going," Adam says.

I want to agree, but Riya seems so happy to have him around that I force myself to say, "Stay for lunch."

Adam studies me, so I jerk my head toward Riya, and he seems to understand.

Lydia is grinning at the two of us. "I’ll take my leave then."

I watch her go, and Riya rushes off to her room, leaving Adam and me alone.

We stand there in silence, our last meeting still lingering in my head.

"I’ll––"

"Do you want to eat something?" Adam suddenly bursts out.

I blink. "Well, no. I still can’t keep down anything aside from clear broth."

He flinches, and I feel like crap. I’m not trying to attack him or make him feel bad.

Trying to change the topic, I say, "Riya’s birthday is next week. I’ll be doing something with her in the morning, but you should come for dinner and cake. She’d like that."

"On Tuesday, right?" Adam asks, his voice careful.

I nod.

"What do you have planned for the morning?"

"It’s just for the two of us," I say sharply. "We’re going to an amusement park."

He doesn’t argue, nor do I expect him to.

However, something strikes me. "Are you sure the shifter stalking us, is dead?"

"I killed him myself," Adam assures me.

"What if…" I feel reluctant.

"If you want, I can arrange for security on your day trip with Riya," Adam offers.

I let out a sigh. "That would be good. I’m not up to full strength right now."

It’s weird talking to him so casually when so much has happened. But I can either fight and be bitter, or I can try to move on and face the future. I can’t change the fact that I am Adam’s mate and Riya is his daughter. I also don’t want Riya to have to live without her father. Adam offered to leave us alone and just visit her on occasion, but that wasn’t fair to him or her. My own heart is shredded inside me. I have lived without my mate for four years, and I can live without him in the future as well. But Riya deserves a doting father and all the opportunities he can provide for her that I can’t. She has been raised on his dime as it is.

That thought makes me bitter.

All the hard work I put into my job to make money so that I could give Riya the kind of life I never got seems pointless now. It was Adam’s money, to begin with. That’s what bothers me. Out of everything, that is what eats at me the most. And that’s something I need to get over.

When I make my way to the kitchen, I find it fully stocked.

My head is aching when I demand, "Did you do this?"

When he looks nervous, I feel worse. "I was just asking, Adam. Not everything is a personal attack on you."

He sighs, and I close the refrigerator door, looking at him, "I don’t want any of this leaking into your relationship with Riya. My feelings are my problem. not yours. I’ll suck it up and get over them."

"I don’t want you to have to suck anything up." Adam meets my gaze. "You have a right to be upset, Cynthia. I’d prefer you get angry with me and say whatever you want to––"

"If I say everything bottled up within me," I laugh, humorlessly, "then it will make this situation worse. I said everything I had to say the other night. I’ll just be repeating everything in a more vicious manner. I want you to suffer like I did. I want you to experience one-third of the shame and humiliation I felt."

His jaw tightens, and I can tell he’s upset, and my lips curve sadly. "But I don’t want to be bitter and nasty. There’s no point."

Adam covers the distance between us, his voice serious. "There is. I can take everything you throw at me, Cynthia. I promise you. I deserve it. I just don’t want to lose you."

"I’m not going to keep you from your daughter," I begin, and he shakes his head.

"This isn’t about Riya. I don’t want to be without my mate. But I’m willing to wait for however long you want. If you want to punish me, I’ll bear it all. If you want me to suffer, I’ll suffer. I just can’t live without you anymore."

I’ve never seen tears in Adam’s eyes, and it breaks me.

I don’t want him to hurt. I don’t want him to suffer. I know why he did what he did. I’m not an idiot. He had to make hard choices and make sacrifices, and I understand it all. Riya and I were able to live a carefree life because of his sacrifices. It’s just this hurt inside me that won’t settle.

I don’t know what to say to him. I need time to come to terms with everything, time to begin healing my wounded pride, time to fix the broken mess my wolf has become as a result of my pack betraying me.

Fortunately, I don’t have to say anything because Riya returns at that moment. "Mommy, what’s for lunch?"

I slip away from Adam to coddle my daughter, and my heart feels sturdier with her scent around me.

I can do this.

For Riya, I can do anything.

*****

Being around my daughter makes my wolf more active. And so, when Riya’s fourth birthday comes around, I dress her in a jacket, a woolen hat covering her ears, and mittens on her hands.

"You can’t run around without me," I tell her as we walk to the ticket station at the entrance of the amusement park.

"Okay." She holds onto my hand, her whole body vibrating with excitement.

In the morning, especially on a weekday, there aren’t many people around. That makes it easier to keep an eye on Riya and the surroundings. However, as I look around, I can’t seem to find any of Adam’s men. He did promise me that he would station a few people in the park to keep an eye on any potentially dangerous situation. I don’t know why I was imagining men in suits following us around like an armed guard.

Relaxing, I let Riya take a few rides, and I sit on the bench as she laughs, clinging on to the pretty horse on the carousel. It’s pretty cold outside, and I wish I had grabbed my gloves. Rubbing my hands together, I watch her. Aside from her, there are two other children on the ride.

Suddenly, a cup of coffee is held out to me, and I blink. Looking up, I see a large bear mascot before me.

"N-No, thanks." I smile awkwardly, but he holds it out insistently, and when he speaks, his voice is muffled from under the suit.

"It’s very cold."

I reluctantly take the cup from him and sniff the contents to make sure it’s not drugged or anything. It seems fine to me, and I take a sip. The hot liquid makes my toes curl.

"Thank you." I warm my hands by wrapping them around the cup.

The mascot bear gets up and disappears. Since there aren’t many children around, he probably doesn’t have much to do. I sip the coffee, my eyes on Riya as she takes the ride for the sixth time.

The bench creaks, and when I turn my head, the bear mascot is back, this time holding out a vibrant red rose. I should probably decline, but having a rose given to me by a huge teddy bear makes me smile. "Thank you."

I’ve just taken the rose when he holds out another flower, a smaller one, but it’s a dazzling shade of pink and blue. I’ve never seen something like it before.

"I’m good with this one, thanks."

But he gestures towards my hair and holds it out.

"Your hair will look beautiful."

"I’m already spoken for, but it’s not every day that I get hit on by a bear, so I’ll take it." I take the flower and insert it in my hair, just behind my ear.

The ride ends just then, and Riya hops off, running toward me. She comes to a stop in front of the bear mascot, her eyes wide and gleaming.

"It’s my birthday!"

She’s been announcing it to everyone, and the bear mascot waves his hands in the air. "Happy birthday!"

Watching Riya laugh in delight makes me smile.

She holds up her arms, and he scoops her up. The way he lets her sit on his shoulder has me blinking. However, I keep my mouth shut.

"Where to next?" he asks, and Riya points toward the log slide.

I follow after them, and the bear lets her down so that she can get in the small queue. I wait with him while she enjoys the ride, and he keeps buying me food. By the time, Riya has hopped on to seven rides, I’ve had one coffee, two pretzels, a large packet of hot chips, a hot dog, and now I’m holding a stick of cotton candy.

We’re sitting on the bench watching Riya play in the ball pit with three other kids when the bear looks at me. "There’s a nachos stand there. I’ll get you––"

"I’ll throw up if you stuff me with any more food, Adam."

My tone is even, and the bear goes still.

I find it strange that I’ve been able to keep down all this food. My wolf no longer seems to be rejecting anything Adam gives me to eat.

However, I have to give him credit when he tries. "I’m not––"

"Save it. I had you pegged the second you scooped up Riya on your shoulder. You think I’d just let any stranger carry our daughter?"

He’s quiet, and I don’t have to look at him to know he’s got a guilty look on his face under that mask.

"I told you I wanted this to be just me and Riya," I chastise him. I’m not really angry, though, because Riya has been having a blast with him around. This past week has shown me that Adam is a great father, and a part of me is getting more and more reluctant to separate Riya from him. It doesn’t help that this entire week, not only has he been in my apartment for most of the day, but he also insists on cooking for us, on taking care of us.

My wolf has begun to relax and enjoy the attention, despite its anger toward Adam.

I, on the other hand, try to treat him like an acquaintance. It does bother me a little that he doesn’t seem irritated with my cold treatment. He just accepts it and moves on. It makes me want to bite him.

"There was a bit of a situation," Adam finally admits. "I didn’t want to worry you or ruin Riya’s birthday so…"

I turn to look at him, frowning. "What kind of situation?"

Adam is silent for a few seconds. "Norman was sighted in Detroit this morning. There’s a networking event amongst packs in the city next month, and chances are he came here for that. Ever since Father disappeared, he’s taken over the company. I didn’t think he would show up for this event, but it makes me uneasy having him in the same city as you and Riya."

My nails dig into my palm. "If Norman finds out about me and Riya, he won’t let it go. He’s depraved. I can’t… He can’t find out about where we are, Adam. You have no idea what he’ll do. You don’t know the kind of things he had planned if I ever had a daughter."

I’m progressively getting more and more worked up, and Adam covers my hand with the large bear paw. "I have my people looking for him. In the meantime, I’m increasing security around your apartment."

"What kind of security?"

He hesitates and then says, "I’ve not told anyone this, but I don’t want to keep any secrets from you now. For a couple of years, around the time you left, I reached out to a somewhat illegal organization that has shifters fight each other for money."

"Isn’t that a human thing, these underground cage fights?" I ask.

"Money can motivate anyone," Adam responds. "This organization is out of my jurisdiction, but their fighters have slave contracts."

I hiss, bile rising in my throat. "You didn’t buy slaves, did you?"

"No." Adam shakes his head. "I bought their contracts and freed them. I also offered them stable salaries and housing if they would choose to work for me as my private team of soldiers. Seventeen of them accepted while the remaining three chose to leave. The ones who chose to stay went through rigorous training, and I trust them completely. They look rough around the edges, but they’re skilled fighters and are able to stay out of sight. I’ll be putting five of them around your building and apartment. Three of them are scouring for Norman as we speak. You have nothing to fear now. Nobody’s going to uproot you this time from the home you’ve built. You are the alpha’s mate, Cynthia. It’s my job to keep you safe."

I try to pretend not to be affected by his words, but they do make me feel reassured.

My wolf feels anxious as well, but some of the fear has abated after listening to Adam, and it rumbles in approval.

Make up your mind. I feel annoyed by its flaky behavior. Either he’s a backstabbing jerk or he’s a good mate.

Our animals are simple creatures. Unlike our human selves, their emotions aren’t as complex. While my wolf has been downtrodden, the more time Adam has been spending around me, looking after me and Riya, the more active it’s becoming. The fact that I managed to scarf down a huge amount of food is a testament to that.

"I know you’re worried," Adam says when I don’t respond.

My fingers play with the rose in my hand, touching the soft petals.

He reaches for the head of the bear as if to take it off, and I immediately say, "Don’t do that."

"Why not?"

"Just…" I wish I had a proper reason. "It’s easier to talk to you like this."

"You don’t have a mascot fetish, do you?" He sounds alarmed, and I glare at him.

"Shut up, Adam."

"I’m just curious. Because if it’s your preference, I can get some––"

"I swear to God, Adam," I begin, only to hear him snickering.

"You’re such an ass," I mutter, refusing to let myself be amused. However, my lips curve slightly.

It’s hard not to let myself be swept away when he’s around. I don’t know if it’s the mating bond between us or that I never stopped loving him, but when he’s cooking in the kitchen, talking to Riya, or telling me about a recipe he found that will be good for me, I feel happy. I try to hide it. There are moments when I want to remain angry and just stew on my hurt feelings, but then there are days like today when my heart feels light, and I can’t explain it.

"Can I bring the cake tonight?" Adam asks after a couple of minutes.

"Sure." I shrug. "Bring party favors as well, if you want. We’re ordering pizza."

"So, it’s okay if everything is a little over the top from my end?" Adam asks, and I detect the hesitation in his voice.

"Riya is your daughter as well," I reply, my eyes on my baby as she hops from one foot to the other, waiting for her turn. "And you missed out on all her other birthdays. So you can have free rein on this one."

He seems surprised. "Really?"

"Go nuts," I encourage him. "Get her some crazy gifts and some over-the-top cake. I won’t say anything."

"And when’s your birthday?" he asks.

"I don’t celebrate mine," I reply.

"But when is it?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"I could always look it up."

"Go do that," I suggest.

When he doesn’t say anything after that, I shoot him an incredulous look. "Are you sulking?"

"No."

But his tone betrays him.

"It’s already passed," I inform him. "Now, wave at Riya. She’s looking at you."

The bear lifts his hand, waving at our daughter.

I look at Adam. "I hope you have some balloons for her."

When the bear turns to look at me, I smile innocently. "Your daughter loves them. You’d better run, Mr. Bear. Or Riya will be very, very sad."

He doesn’t move for a few seconds, and I know he’s debating whether I’m being serious or not. Ultimately, he gets to his feet and hurries away. Watching him attempt to run in the bear suit makes me laugh.

This isn’t the worst way to spend a morning.

****

Riya has the time of her life at the amusement park with Adam carrying her around on his shoulders. She’s exhausted when we get back, and after putting her down for a nap, I deal with some office work. It’s evening when I hear the knock on the door. I open it to see Maya and Tony standing there. It feels awkward to see them, but I know that despite everything, they did stand by me. So, I smile at them.

"Riya is sleeping."

"I brought decorations," Maya says hesitantly, showing me the bags in her arms. "Thought we could deck the apartment. She’ll love it."

"She will."

I let them in, and we get to blowing balloons and hanging up banners and confetti. Somewhere amongst all that, everything feels normal again, and I let my anger fade away. They were here for me in my worst times, so I’ll let this go. After all, this is between Adam and me.

Tony is hanging up the last balloons when Adam shows up with a large cake box and huge boxes that can only be presents.

"I ordered fried chicken, french fries, and pizza and just a lot of junk food," he confesses. "You said I could get carried away."

"I did," I agree, eying the massive cake box. "I just didn’t realize what I was getting myself into. What’s in there?"

"You can open it."

It’s a princess castle cake, and even Maya’s eyes glitter in excitement. "Let me go wake Riya up! Please!"

"Tony, she’ll fall over her own feet," I point out. "You go with her."

As the couple goes to fetch Riya, I help Adam set the gifts and the food on the table. "How are we supposed to finish all this?"

"Don’t worry," he reassures me.

Riya has had lovely birthdays, but this one she’ll probably remember forever. She tears open the wrapping paper covering her presents. I got her a small plastic cooking range since she loves playing pretend cook. Tony had bought her a puzzle ’that was good for her developing brain,’ and Maya knitted her a pretty little cape. Adam got her an entire collection of dolls, including a doll house, a small tow car she could drive in the apartment, a large stuffed bear, and some cartoon collections. Shifter children develop faster than human children, so these are all age-appropriate gifts, but Riya just clings to the teddy bear, which is the same size as her, and drags it around the room.

She eats so much I have to yank the plate away from her.

Putting her to bed afterward is also a huge task in itself because she refuses to go. It’s only when Adam tucks her and stays with her until she nods off that I breathe a sigh of relief. Maya is also nodding off, so Tony takes her home.

Things will be fine between us. They are important to me, and I don’t want to lose them.

I’m cleaning up when Adam walks out.

“Riya’s out like a light.”

“Good.” I yawn. “I’ll go to bed, too, once this is done.”

I stumble, probably on something on the ground, and Adam catches me.

Frowning, he says, “Why don’t you rest? You’ve been at it the whole day. I can clean up.”

“No, it’s fine.“

But he forces me down onto the couch and begins cleaning.

He’s begun to make himself quite at home here, and as I watch him wash the dishes and clean the counter, my heart skips a beat.

It doesn’t bother me.

I like his presence in my home.

My wolf agrees, purring happily.

Adam being here makes me happy, even if I don’t admit it to him.