Flashback

Cassie knew her family was confused over her feelings. I knew something else happened after Cassandra’s death with mom. I didn’t think of her as my Grandmother anymore and hadn’t for quite some time. Probably not even when she alive if I truly wanted to analyze that, but I didn’t. Something recent happened and it devastated my mom. I just couldn’t have any part of Cassandra linked to me in any way.

Rain encouraged me, “Everyone will understand.”

She agreed with me about considering everything. I wanted to drop Cassie and have Veronica be my first name. I loved Grammy Veronica and I figured everyone could call me Ronnie. I didn’t love it, but I just didn’t like Cassandra Conners and I was finally facing that head on.

Rain encouraged me, “It’s ok if you want to be Cassie. You love the name.”

I did and didn’t. I didn’t want Cassandra in my life in anyway. I wanted her out and I didn’t really care how I did that. Life was better now that she was gone. I was going through a baby book of names trying to find one to add into my name, but nothing was resonating with me.

My mom popped next to me. She noted the book I had, and I felt her amusement. She teased, “If you’re pregnant at your age, there are no charms or magic that will calm your dad down.”

I rolled my eyes, “Mom, you’re so silly. You’d be able to see me glowing and my brothers would be looking to kill someone.”

She laughed, “That’s true. So, why are you looking at baby names?”

I admitted, “Well, I want to change my name to Veronica, but I want to keep the amount of names I have so I was looking at new ones.”

She simply said, “It’s your name, you can do what you want with it. Can I ask why you want to change it?”

I checked our bond, but her blocks weren’t up. She truly didn’t care if I changed my name. She was merely curious why I wanted to. A knot of tension I’d held inside released and I took a deep breath.

I sighed internally I’d admitted I wouldn’t call my Grandma that, but out loud I always did out of respect for my dad. I explained, “I hate that my name came from Grandma Cassandra. I know that sounds terrible, but she hurt my feelings all the time and….”

Mom interrupted, “Who told you that your name was for her? It would be Cassandra if it was.”

Wait, what?

I answered, “Grandma Cassandra told me that I was named Cassie for her. She complained because you didn’t honor her the right way. She said my name should be Cassandra.”

Rain scoffed, “We’d have changed that name before the ink dried on her death certificate.”

I definitely would’ve.

Mom hugged me, pulled back, and winked saying, “You look more like a Cassie to me. Can I tell you a secret?”

The bond told me it was an important secret to her. I agreed, “Sure.”

She confided, “Your name has very little to do with your Grandma Cassandra. If your dad ever thought about our conversation now, he’d see the evasion in it. Actually, I’m sure he has and does not care. The name just happened to work in my favor.”

I asked, “What do you mean?”

She explained, “When I was thirteen years old, I stumbled into this realm very badly hurt.”

Wait, what? Rain said, “I don’t know, and she doesn’t have a wolf I can ask.”

I frowned but didn’t interrupt as she continued .

“A family found me and showed me so much kindness it was overwhelming. The mother scooped me up and held me in the backseat of her car. She wrapped me in a blanket and kept reassuring me everything was going to be ok.”

I wanted to thank that human. She nudged me, “Do you want to know what her name was?”

I definitely did and I had an idea that had me pulling my finger out of the baby book where I’d been marking my place. I asked, “What was it?”

She grinned, “Cassie. I actually didn’t know that until your Uncle Marcus told me later. I felt really fucking bad I didn’t remember their names. I’m certain they told me, but I was a mess then.”

She assured me, “She was a great woman who was a wonderful mother to her children and grandma to their kids. She worked in a domestic violence shelter and was a counselor for many years. She was amazing and I chose to honor her with your name. I should’ve told you and your dad the truth behind my choice a long time ago.”

I knew why she hadn’t though because it would’ve made all our lives miserable if that came out while Cassandra was alive.

One never knew when Cassandra was lurking about to try and make you feel bad about something. She absolutely would’ve gone off the rails about the truth behind my name. Dad would’ve had the opposite reaction. He would donate parks, buildings, and anything in the name of the Cassie who saved my mom.

Mom admitted, “I thought maybe Cassandra and I would be ok later in life, so I felt your name honored both women. That didn’t turn out to be the case and for me your name has been to honor the woman who showed me immense kindness and brought me to my Hackura family. If you want a new name or you want to go by Veronica, Ronnie, Ginger, Blue, Pink…”

I laughed interrupting her, “Mom!”

She smiled, “My point is that it’s your name, sweetie. If you want to change it, then do so. I will always be on your side. I will call you whatever damn name you want. I just thought you should know where the name I suggested actually came from. It honestly worked out perfectly for me that her name was Cassie and your grandma’s was Cassandra.”

She paused adding, “I know it was really fucking selfish of me, but she would’ve harped on about the fact that she’d not been honored in one of our children’s names forever. I didn’t want to listen to that bullshit for the rest of our lives.”

Thankfully, we didn’t have to deal with her because she’d died. Bless that deer that ran in front of her car forever. Maybe I knew Alexander had conjured said deer a never ending supply of the best fruits for it to eat until it died. I might take the animal to Faerie to live so it could live longer.

I teased, “You evaded with daddy.”

She admitted, “I did. I told him the truth though. I wanted to honor your grandma because she gave me him. My motivations in naming you Cassie weren’t from wanting to honor her though. I really fucking wanted that, but it wasn’t how I felt.”

She winced, “I wanted to honor the woman who saved me and brought me to a family that showed me the love I’d always wanted. It just so happened her name was Cassie.”

I told her, “I’ll consider that when I make the decision.”

Rain snorted, “It’s practically a done deal.”

I agreed, “Yes, but I want to think about it and let it settle.” I also wanted to go to Uncle Bjourn and get his file on the woman who saved my mom.

My mom hugged me again. She whispered, “It doesn’t matter to me what you decide. Ok? It’s your name and one else’s.”

I couldn’t say anything, so I just nodded. She kissed my forehead and walked away. I still felt in our bond that she really didn’t care. She wanted me to be happy and if that meant changing my name, she’d be fine with it. My mom was amazing like that.