Chapter 44

44

CHARLOTTE

W hen I wake up, it's so hot, I feel like somebody's tossed me in the furnace.

It takes me a few seconds to understand why, but then as I crack open my eyes and slowly work out where I am, I realise I'm not alone.

All six-foot-five of solid Killian Kennedy is plastered to me, from head to toe.

I try to wriggle forward, to get a tiny bit of breathing space from the wall of fire at my back, but his grip on me is iron. One heavy leg of his is slung over mine, and his arms are wrapped around me, one above my abdomen, and one below. As I twist slightly, I feel the pull of stitches from the gunshot and hold my breath to let the pain subside.

For a moment, I say nothing, letting his scent surround me and ease my fear. There's no fire, and no chaos. It's over now, and if Killian is here with me, he can't be too injured himself.

Closing my eyes again, I enjoy the moment. We've never had this. We've had heated fights and dangerous looks, a stolen passionate moment or two, but nothing soft and tender like this.

My wolf practically purrs, loving the closeness, and imagining how nice it would be if this was how we could wake up every day. This could be our life, having this big man protecting us, even in sleep. Once I've given him an earful for the stunt he pulled.

"I know you're awake," he says quietly, his breath warm against my ear. "But I'm still not moving. Not until you tell me to."

"Get off me," I hiss, picturing his tall frame walking out of the dungeon and leaving me there. Then I remember him covered in blood, about to get himself killed because he was too stubborn to listen to me.

"I don't even know what to say, Charlotte. I'm so sorry."

I take a deep breath, waiting for Killian to say something else, anything else, but apparently, that's all he's got.

"All the time I was locked up, or unconscious, that's what you came up with?"

My emotions are all over the place. The bond is pulling me to him, making me want to curl up in his arms. But I'm so angry, I don't want him touching me, either.

"I don't know what else to say." Frustration makes me screw my eyes shut and shout into the pillow. This man is impossible.

"Charlotte, I'm sorry it came to that. And that you got hurt because of me."

For a moment, I just stare at him, confused. "What are you talking about? Tammy?" I ask, stunned. "What other choice did you have, Killian?"

The woman shot him three times, she had a pack of mercenary wolves attacking his guards and guests at a palace function, and decades ago, she took out his entire family. Yet he's apologising to me for taking her out?

"I'm not sorry. She deserved it. She deserved to get that a long time ago." I mean, she shot me, too. With a silver bullet. She'll get no sympathy from me. "The only thing I'm sorry about is that my relatives are so shitty, and that she did this to your family at all."

When my voice breaks, Killian presses a hand to either side of my face and rests his forehead against mine. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to push back the avalanche of tears threatening to come.

Killian must scent them, because he gently rolls me onto my back and leans in close, cupping my face in his hand, refusing to let me hide from him.

"I'm not upset about that. I'm mad because you left me. Mates are supposed to be a team, but you just decided to lock me in a fucking dungeon rather than work together."

Killian stares back at me, unrepentant. "You're everything to me. Even if you hated me, I had to keep you safe."

Forcing myself to take a deep breath. "Mates don't make decisions unilaterally, Killian. I might have done what you wanted if you'd just explained to me what was going on."

His big body hovers over me as he looks me in the eye, pain written all over his features. "I thought I'd lost you."

I open my eyes and push his head back, so I can stare into his eyes.

"I'm right here, Killian. A bit worse for wear, and mad as hell at you, but I'm right here." Only then, do I realise how terrible he looks. I run my hands over his arms until he winces, the bullet wound in his shoulder, still sore. "Did Doc get them out? All of it?"

The biggest danger with silver bullets is that some metal breaks off and gets stuck inside the body, slowly poisoning you over time.

"Stop worrying about me." He growls. "None of my wounds were near vital organs. Two of the bullets only clipped me. Doc had me patched up in no time. But you… it was touch and go there for a while. How are you feeling?"

I blow out a shaky breath and look away from his intense stare. I'm trying to cling to the anger I feel and not let it fade away just because of the bond. But it's hard. Especially when all I want is to kiss him.

"You keep saying mates," he muses, watching me carefully.

"I keep saying I'm mad at you too, but you're ignoring that part." My tone is less annoyed, poutier, and Killian's lip twitches with a hidden smile. Smart man.

"So, what happens now?" he asks, getting straight to the point.

I wish I knew. It seems to me like the ball is in his court. "I'm nervous." I admit.

Most of our interactions have been heated. Not that this isn't also high stakes, but it feels different.

He blinks at me, looking surprised.

"What are you nervous about? Doc said you're gonna make a full recovery. The bullet wasn't near…" Killian hesitates, blushing slightly. "Any… uh… reproductive organs, so it won't have any impact on your ability to bear children."

I smile at him. Bless his little heart. The prince of wolves can barely speak about making babies.

"So, while it's a bit sore and unpleasant until your enhanced healing kicks back in, you're gonna be okay."

His thumb rubs tiny circles on my shoulder as he speaks, and his other hand holds mine reassuringly.

"I'm not worried about that. I can already feel that I'm okay. My wolf is confident that we'll be back to ourselves in no time." I hesitate, swallowing hard. "I'm nervous about us. I've heard horror stories about rejections, and I just… I don't know if I'll be able to cope. Not right now."

Killian frowns.

"Maybe we can wait until I'm out of the hospital. I can talk to Rex. He might be able to prepare me for what's to come."

Killian sits up on the bed and stares at me.

"Charlotte, unless you're planning to reject me, I'm not going anywhere. I'm sorry for not claiming you as mine the second we met. For not shouting it from the rooftops, and consequences be damned." He presses a tiny kiss to my lips. "I'm sorry for not putting you before this quest. My father adored his mate. He'd be furious at me for putting you second to something that happened decades ago."

He's getting more and more worked up. I haven't said a word, yet he's acting like I've told him to go and take a hike. His fingers hold mine tighter, and his breathing grows rapid. Now, it's my turn to worry about him.

"I'm sorry that I even considered going back to Ireland on my own. I was stupid to think I could be away from you without going crazy, and to not consider how much that would hurt you. And I left you in that cell…" He closes his eyes and shakes his head. "I swear, I thought I was doing the right thing. I just wanted to keep you away from this mess, to get everything sorted as quickly as I could."

Now I feel bad for being angry. It's clear he's been agonising over that decision enough for both of us.

"Killian, it's okay…"

"I wanted to go home and tell him everybody was safe, so he could pass on in peace." He's rambling now, getting out all of the things he's kept bottled up inside. Blinking, Killian stares at me. "That's why I need to go back to Ireland, and that's why I wanted to go back alone. He's not strong enough to travel here, and I just wanted him to live out his last days knowing that his family is going to survive."

"I thought you just wanted to go back to your old life. Without me."

Guilt flashes over his face. "Well, I did, at first. I wanted to return to a quiet life, once I'd done my duty and forget this visit had ever happened. But then, I met you. And now, I don't care what life I used to have, or what life I could have as prince, I just want the one where I get to be with you."

Killian looks at me earnestly, waiting for me to say something.

"Those days in jail were hell," I say seriously, and he has the good manners to look ashamed of himself. "You should have found a way to get me out. I was so worried about you."

I glare at him, remembering all those hours spent down there, not knowing what was going on, and the fire. The icy grip of panic and helplessness I felt will remain embedded in my memory for the rest of my life.

"Worried about me? Charlie, you should have been furious! I thought if I went down there, you'd convince me to let you out."

"Oh, I was furious, but only because you didn't keep me in the loop! It's my fucking job to keep you safe. If you had told me what you were thinking, that you needed to keep me down there to ensure nobody asked any questions, I wouldn't have had a problem with it. Because I would have known you didn't think I did it!"

His eyes light up the instant he understands. "I never thought you'd hurt me." He's stunned. Shaking his head, he curses. "Damn it. I thought you'd know that."

"How? How could I know that?"

Horror sweeps across his expression. He assumed I'd just be pissed off at being kept away from the action, and not upset that he thought the worst of me.

"You've seen the family I've lived with my entire life, Killian. Two days in a cell was nothing. I could do that in my sleep."

Brushing a strand of hair from my cheek, Killian stares down at me, trying to read my emotions. "Do you hate me, Charlie?"

"No. But if you ever leave me anywhere for two days again, I'll kick your ass."

"You don't hate me?" He repeats, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. He inches closer, his body pressing to mine.

My skin tingles where he brushes his finger up and down my upper arm.

"No, I don't hate you," I admit reluctantly, feeling like he's getting away with this all too easily.

"So, you're not going to reject me? You forgive me?" He nuzzles my neck, kissing that sensitive spot behind my ear that makes me melt.

Heat unfurls deep in my core, and I moan quietly, unable to pretend I'm not itching to wrap my arms around him and pull him closer.

"Maybe." I grumble, wishing I was strong enough to really make him grovel. "I mean, we are fated mates. We should probably give this a proper go."

"Well, if the fates say we're perfect for each other, who are we to argue?" His grin is infectious, but I can't quite match his enthusiasm just yet. "But I do have one question for you."

Killian stops, his mouth hovering an inch above mine, his gaze fixated on my lips. "Whatever it is, the answer is yes. Always. Whatever you want."

Rolling my eyes, I ignore his ridiculous answer.

Who knew a prince would be so sappy?

"How fast can I get a passport? Because I'm coming to Ireland with you."