Chapter 10

10

CHARLOTTE

I head straight for the staff exit and stagger through the door, gasping for air.

I'm standing, hands on my knees, sucking in deep, rasping breaths, when Theo comes rushing around the corner, on high alert.

His eyes glow, a terrifying almost white shade in the darkness, and when he sees me and assumes the worst, he immediately goes into protective alpha-male mode.

Theo grabs me by the armpits from behind and slings me across his huge shoulders, despite my protests.

"Theo!" I hiss, trying not to attract any attention that will make this more embarrassing than it is, but he doesn't stop.

"I've got you, Charlotte," he whispers, scanning the area before racing around the corner.

Rolling my eyes in exasperation, I watch the ground fly by as he moves. Finally, he lowers me back to the grass, shielding us from view behind a bush. Peering around the corner, he's checking our dark surroundings for a threat, but satisfied there's still nobody there, he returns and kneels beside me, rubbing my back.

"Breath. Take your time."

"For fuck's sake," I mutter, when I can't get him to look at me long enough to see I'm not injured, just freaking out.

His eyes glaze over, and I know immediately he's about to mind-link Zane to tell him we've had an incident.

I slam my hand over his mouth and tackle him to the ground, gripping the front of his black shirt and twisting it in my hand. Lying on top of him now, sitting on his huge chest, I tug him toward me, while I shake my head vehemently.

"Fine. I'm fine." I croak out, pleading with my eyes for him to shut up before he blows my secret out of the water.

I can't face having to explain this to Zane, or worse still, Killian. He needs to think I'm just as uninterested in our mating as he appears to be. It's the only way I'm going to get through the next couple of weeks.

"Okay, okay. I get it."

Relieved, I slide to the side, my knees on the ground, and concentrate on getting my breathing back to normal.

Theo's eyes gradually return to their normal pale grey, and he breathes with me, maintaining eye contact, and rhythmically stroking up and down my shoulders, reminding my lungs to expand and contract. Gradually, oh so gradually, they loosen, and I can pull in a little more precious air each time.

Nodding along with his encouragement, I finally regain enough control to allow my mouth to work.

"Thank you," I mumble, covering my face with my two hands, while I regain my composure. "I'm all good."

I'm rattled. I've never lost it like that.

"Okay. But then explain to me why one of the coolest agents I've come across is having a panic attack in a flower bed." Theo hesitates, not sure what to believe. "Fuck, Charlotte. I thought you were hurt."

I am hurt, but not in a way that I'll be admitting to anyone here. No, this is a hurt I'll hopefully be burying deep down inside and keeping locked up tightly until my last breath.

"I just… eh… got some family news, and I had to stand through that fucking dinner and keep it together, and it all just came bursting out. I'm sorry I freaked you out."

Theo looks at me like he can't decide whether I'm telling the truth or not, but frankly, just relieved to know the palace isn't under attack. He rolls back from his knees to a squat and tilts his head, assessing me.

Can he see the agony my wolf is in, forced to sit idly by, while my sister touches my mate, and he allows it? Can he see the anguish of watching a man so perfect throw himself with gusto back into the very life I've fought to stay away from?

"If you need a leave of absence for a bereavement or something, Zane will arrange it. I know he's not exactly friendly, but he's decent." Theo's watching me now, waiting to see if his first guess is correct, but I give nothing away.

Instead of giving him the explanation he wants, I use his solid shoulder to stand on shaky legs.

"No, it's fine. I have it under control." I give him my most disarming smile as he stands to his full height of six-foot-five and stares down at me. "Can we keep this between the two of us? I don't want Zane to know."

Those pale eyes narrow at me, and he rubs a hand over his dark stubbled jaw. "That you threw yourself at me and tried it on in the dirt? I won't say a word."

I roll my eyes, his lame joke loosening the knot in my chest just a fraction.

Theo's expression turns serious again. "I won't volunteer the information, but if he asks me anything, I'm telling him. I'm not lying to my alpha for you, not when this mission is so critical."

He's a fierce warrior but has a protective big brother streak a mile long. He doesn't want to see me booted off the team, but I can expect to see lots of him over the next few days, just checking in.

"Of course. But I promise, this is a one off."

From the way he frowns and twists his lips up to one side, I can tell he believes that about as much as I do. But it is. It has to be.

We stand there awkwardly, Theo not knowing how to comfort me while I gather myself, especially not knowing what's wrong in the first place, while I'm red faced and mortified that he saw me at my weakest, and that I let a man bring me to my knees.

Needing to escape his scrutiny, I take a deep breath and smile.

"All better. I promise. I need to finish my round before Zane wonders why I haven't checked in." But I don't move. I want Theo to leave first, in case my legs are still wobbly.

Theo nods at that and folds his hands over his chest. Thick biceps bulge under silky tanned skin, and his pecs puff out as he stands there imperiously, waiting to see if I can stay on two feet.

With a bright smile, I give him a sharp salute and turn away, praying I can walk around the corner with steady enough footsteps that Theo doesn't immediately report back to Zane that I can't do my job.

To Theo's credit, he doesn't follow me, just melts back into the shadows, and resumes the post he occupied before he heard me gasping and panting on the gravel at the back door.

"Fucking humiliating," I mutter, hating that he'll look at me differently now. I need to sort this mess out asap, before Killian ruins my career as well as my love life.

Eager to get indoors and out of Theo's sight, I slip in through the wide hole in the burnt down wing, treading carefully over the bare floors, swept clean but still reeking of smoke. It's practically pitch black in here, but my enhanced vision gives me enough information to navigate the long room. This used to be a banquet hall, once glamorous, and a place used for celebrations and hosting elaborate events.

Lifting my chin, I look up at the sky through the collapsed first floor and non-existent roof. The sky is bright and clear, and stars twinkle and dance. If it weren't for the knot in my stomach and the sweaty, panicky feeling coursing through my veins, making my brain itch, it would be a beautiful night.

Standing there, I close my eyes and let my arms hang by my sides while I inhale deeply, trying to pick up all the different scents in this room behind the heavy cloak of acid ash.

The scuff of a boot against the ground catches my attention.

I force myself not to tense up, keeping my eyes closed, despite the powerful urge to scour the dark corners for whoever is in here with me. On my next breath, I pick up his scent and feel the quiet stirring in the air as he moves silently closer.

His energy is what gives him away. I don't need to hear him or smell him; I can feel him approach. Yet I remain still, the hair on the back of my neck standing up being the only giveaway that I'm aware of his presence.

"Stop," I whisper when he's about three feet away, poised and ready to pounce.

Wordlessly, he halts his forward momentum, acceding to my demand, but he says nothing. The silence between us grows oppressive until he can't handle it anymore.

"We need to talk," he whispers in the dark.

After my last outburst, I gain a small sense of satisfaction that I'm not the one to crack first, even if it is a hollow victory.

It just means he's as ready for this to end as I am.

"So, talk," I say, then sigh. "Before Zane realises you're missing and starts a man hunt, sir ." I add that as an overthought, with a bratty, mocking edge to my voice that I would ordinarily never let slip through.

But this is a unique situation, and after what I just had to stand through, I deserve some latitude.

Killian takes one step, two, so close, the heat radiating from his body scalds my back through my thin black blouse. His chest heaves, brushing against me, and despite myself, I arch my back, pressing my shoulders harder against his rock-hard body.

Briefly, something hard touches my backside, and my heart jumps, thinking exactly what that could be. If he is that thick and long, that just makes this entire mess even more unfair.

I gasp when his hand snakes up into the back of my hair, and he tugs, harder and sharper than I'd have expected. I'm off balance when he dips his head down to my neck and inhales deeply.

My head spins as his lips ghost across my skin, and his growl vibrates through me, straight to my needy core.

"We will, as soon as you explain why the fuck you're covered, head to toe, in another man's scent."