Chapter 24

Gavin

Guilt ate away at me over the day. The way Billie had recoiled when I'd foolishly said the words "kill" in relation to Colt plagued me. And nothing I did could banish the devastated look Billie had given me before she'd turned her back.

I've seriously screwed up.

Eating humble pie wasn't something I was particularly good at. But, as I kept replaying the hurt on her face that I'd caused, I knew I needed to sort this out.

So, that evening, with a deep breath, I knocked on the Mundys' cabin. Both Gretel and Oslo were on patrol duty. Aislin was out, too. I'd recruited her as part of my plan to make amends with Billie. My heart thumped in my chest as I waited for Billie to answer.

When she did, surprise flickered over her face, but her expression shuttered. The neutral one that fell over her elfin features twisted my insides.

"Aislin's out," she informed me, as if that was the only reason I could have called round.

My heart squeezed as her words confirmed she'd already started to build a wall between us. But the worst thing was, I knew I deserved it.

Smothering my pride down, I did what I'd come here to do. "I'm sorry about earlier, Billie," I said sincerely. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

I took in the stunned look on her face. My lips twitched as I got the distinct impression that she didn't think I had it in me to admit when I'd screwed up.

Fair.

Not many things induced me to admit that I was wrong. But … hurting her had me admitting it. My pulse raced and my expression turned serious again. I wanted to succeed in gaining her forgiveness. But I knew it would take more than words.

I asked, "Will you come for a run with me? I want to show you Ridge Bay."

I caught her slack-jawed expression, but her lips tightened, and she hesitated.

"Please," I said, my heart banging and my stare holding her with what I hoped told her how much I wanted to make things right.

"Okay," she finally allowed.

That one reluctant word sent a jolt of joy through me. She tugged the door shut behind her, and I shot back up to my cabin, tugging off my shirt and feeling elated that I'd gotten her to agree to come with me. In a moment, my wolf was down beside the sandy-colored wolf, feeling even more thrilled as we took to the path together.

The sun was setting, its light glowing through the trees and throwing their trunks into sharp relief. Our paws pounded the path as we zipped and sped past the trees. I led her along the track, guiding her to where I'd planned. But I allowed Billie's wolf to set the pace. Whenever she slowed, I matched my stride to hers.

The part of the forest I led her to was beautiful and full of mature, majestic trees that I imagined might have stood when Vana herself ran with the first humans who had begun our bloodline.

When we reached Ridge Bay, I led Billie's wolf over to a huge cottonwood tree by the bank of the Gunnison. The canyon dipped down on our side of the river, giving an impressive view of the higher ridge on the other side from where the spot got its name. The water was deep here and didn't rumble over jagged stones. Instead, its hum was a gentle backdrop.

When we reached the huge trunk, I shifted. With relief, my gaze snagged onto the picnic hamper by the foot of the tree. Aislin had come through.

"It's just like her." Billie had shifted into her human form, too. I thought she was referring to Aislin as if she knew she'd left the hamper. But then I noticed she was looking up at the tree.

I blinked as she stared up. "Her?" I asked curiously.

Billie looked flustered for a moment, then explained, "There's this cottonwood near Hexen meadow similar to this one." She laid a hand on the tree's huge trunk, her hand and arm looking even more delicate on the huge tree. "I used to love climbing up into that tree. She's the tallest one for miles around. Her branches always gave me a great view of the meadow from which to watch the Dalesbloom Pack."

"She?" I asked, a smile in my voice.

Billie shrugged one slender shoulder. "The female trees have green flowers, while the males have red." She was trying to downplay how tenderly she'd spoken about the tree. But I'd cottoned onto the warmth in her voice. The tree she spoke held a special place in her heart.

I remembered how I'd mistook Billie's being distant from the Dalesbloom Pack as something she'd chosen. Guilt moved through me for my misconception. I now knew for what good reasons she'd felt so disconnected from the Hexens and the other Dalesbloom packmates. That pack had never been hers. She'd never belonged there. And yet, I could all too clearly picture the girl and then the young woman who had climbed up into her tree, eager to spy the wolves that she longed to be a part of because of the deep-seated need to belong.

Protectiveness stole through me as I wanted to make up for all that she'd lacked in Dalesbloom. Fighting down the burgeoning feelings that had me wanting to sweep her into my arms and cocoon her away from everything and everyone who could hurt her, I turned my attention to the hamper instead.

I pulled out a pair of Billie's jeans and a T-shirt. I wouldn't have minded sitting around unclothed, but I'd been mindful of how shifting was so new to Billie, so I had asked Aislin to pack some clothes for us both.

"How did you—" Billie began.

"I stowed it earlier." I was sure Aislin wouldn't mind me taking the credit. I needed as many brownie points as I could get to make things up to Billie.

A smile lifted Billie's lips, but her green eyes still had that preoccupied look, like the leaves of the forest canopy on a gray day. My heart squeezed as I realized how much I wanted to see them glimmering, full of that wonderful light she'd gifted me with before.

Once I'd tugged on my own jeans and T-shirt from the hamper, I pulled out a picnic rug.

I smoothed it out and said, "Have a seat."

Dressed, she settled down on the blanket, gazing out at the river and the canyon ridge beyond.

I poured us two glasses of sparkling grape juice and got out the strawberries I'd had Aislin pack. I'd noticed over the last couple of weeks that Billie didn't ever have any of the beer or wine when offered it, so I'd opted for sparkling juice.

I fought past the unease that prickled over me as quiet descended. Only the gentle wash of the river's current sounded. I'd brought her here to give her a proper apology, though, and gathering myself together, I endeavored to voice it.

Forcing past my obstinate nature and the stubborn energy my wolf added to it, I admitted, "I'm sorry I lost control in the woods with Colt." I huffed a sigh. "I was so furious with what Lothair had said that I barely knew who I was fighting last night. My wolf took charge and clouded my judgment."

Billie swallowed, her eyes serious as she asked, "How wounded was Colt?"

"Not badly," I said. "I scratched up his shoulder, but he was still able to run off." I forced myself to meet her solemn stare so that she could see the truth in my eyes. "But I'm sorry I did it. I'm sorry I hurt you."

Billie's green eyes shone, and she said, "You said he was lucky you hadn't killed him."

I hung my head and exhaled heavily. "I was angry … and …" I swallowed down the tightness in my throat, "jealous," I confessed to her. "Of the closeness between the two of you."

"Colt's like a brother to me," she explained.

I nodded, shame coating my insides for allowing my wolf to get the better of me and hurt the only family she'd ever had.

"I promise that if Colt comes into my territory alone and tries to see you again, he won't be harmed." My gaze was solemn as I made the vow. "And I'll make sure the whole pack treats him likewise."

My heart quickened as the consciousness of what I was promising prickled over me. Did she realize what a tough concession this was? My wolf seriously wanted to gut anyone who was working with my parents" killers. And although the logical part of me, now that I'd had time to cool off, knew that Colt didn't have much choice when it came to following his Alpha's instructions, the rest of me wanted to treat him the same as the rest of my enemies.

As I gazed at the beautiful woman, whose eyes were brightening again with emotion, I knew I could do this for her. Because Colt was undoubtedly family to Billie. My heart seemed to grow as I knew I would curb my wolf if Colt ventured into our territory next time.

Because I will be better for her.

"Thank you," she said. Her brow furrowed, and my stomach dipped at the look of worry still there. Her gaze crept hesitantly to me. "Where did you see him?" She asked. "Will he have gotten back all right?"

My chest constricted at the fact that I'd put that crease between her beautiful brows. "It was near Pine Creek. He'll have made it back to Dalesbloom, no problem. I'm sure," I assured her.

She nodded. "You're right. Colt's hardy. I'm sure he'll be okay." I could tell she was trying to downplay her concern, but her clouded eyes told me she was still worried. Yet, I appreciated her effort to put on a brave face.

A gentleness came over her face as she leaned forward and stroked my cheek. "Thank you for saying you'll allow him in next time."

My jaw slackened as her gentle touch and words were exactly what I needed. Once again, she was comforting me whenshe was in pain. Gratitude surged through me for her thoughtfulness, and I swore when it came to Billie, I'd do better from now.

Eager to lighten the mood and cast away our concerns for a while, I asked, "You hungry?"

She smiled. "I could eat."

I set down my glass in one of the nooks of the tree"s roots, and Billie did the same. Opening the strawberries, I took one out, holding it out to her. For a moment, she looked like she wouldn't eat it from my hand. But then she leaned forward, and her lips went around the fruit. Juice spilled over her lips, and my pulse spiked as I watched her pink tongue lick the juice off.

Beneath the desire sparking through me, my wolf rumbled with primal satisfaction as something about feeding her sated my beast. She reached for a strawberry and reciprocated. She watched my mouth as I took the fruit and licked my own lips. Her pupils dilated, and I already scented her arousal on the air.

I hadn't eaten tonight either, but as soon as I'd swallowed the fruit, all I hungered for was her. I moved toward her. Her head tilted up to meet me as I devoured her delectable mouth, licking and sucking the sweet taste of strawberries from her. I couldn't get enough. I was famished for her.

I clasped the nape of her neck, keeping her where I wanted her as my mouth traveled down the column of her throat. Her hands slid over my chest as she moaned. A tangible ripple of instinct surged through me, telling me to claim her as she tilted her neck. My heart thudded as her baring her neck to me awoke my wolf, who interpreted it as her submitting entirely to me. The urge to mark her thundered through me as if all the waters of the Gunnison River were roaring through me.

But as I kissed her tender throat, I forced myself to hold back, reminding myself of what I'd vowed to myself tonight: I'd be better for her. I let my awareness of the cold earth beneath the blanket seep through me. I listened to the stirring leaves above in the cottonwood that seemed to whisper with the wisdom of the past. I breathed in the cool night air, and my heated blood and desire cooled, allowing me to see past my rampant beast's wants.

I felt certain that Billie and I were meant for one another, but I knew I mustn't rush this. I'd let my instinct override me when I'd fought Colt and hurt Billie by doing so. So, with all the self-control I could muster, I pulled my mouth away from her silken skin. I would wait until she wanted the same thing that I did. When we were ready to be as close to one another as possible, it would be time to remove any boundaries between us.

A deep contentment moved through me as I stared into the bright green hues of Billie's affectionate gaze.

I handed her back her glass and picked up mine. "Thank you for coming out with me tonight."

I clinked her glass with mine, and she said, "Thank you for bringing me here." Her eyes roved over the ridge and up to the first stars illuminating the night above us. "It's kind of our first date, isn't it?" she added with a smile.

I drew her in against my chest and kissed the crown of her head, promising her, "The first of many."