Chapter 10

Robert Montgomery

"So, why did you want to meet me for lunch?" Aisha Wolfguard studies me curiously. "Not like you to want to order in at home. You always want to go out."

"I just felt like it." I pick up a slice of the pizza and munch on it. It's from one of my favorite pizzerias in the city, and yet it seems tasteless right now.

"Just felt like it, huh?" Aisha raises a brow. "Why don't you tell me what's really going on? You've been acting weird for a while now, more so this past week. You haven't been paying attention at work. We nearly lost a major pitch yesterday, Robert. We can't function like this, with you spacing out half the time. Whatever's bothering you, just spit it out, and we'll deal with it."

Aisha works with me in my company. It makes sense that she'd notice I haven't been myself lately.

A small yip from the doorway has me looking over to see Zeno falling over his own feet in an attempt to get to the pizza. I set the plate with my half-eaten slice down on the floor so he can have a go at it.

"I still don't understand the puppy. I never knew you liked dogs."

"Neither did I," I murmur, watching Zeno play with the pizza slice.

"He's chewed most of your shoes, Robert," Aisha points out.

"I can get new ones." I smile and lean down to scratch Zeno's chin. He gives me an adoring look, and I sigh internally. I guess I have become a dog person now.

Aisha shoots me a bewildered look. "Be honest with me. Are you doing drugs?"

That gets my attention, and I scowl at her. "Of course not!"

"Then what's going on with you?" she demands. "I know you, Robert, and this isn't like you. Brooding, adopting puppies out of nowhere, letting them chew on your prized shoe collection. Just tell me. I won't judge."

I did call Aisha here to talk to her. I need to discuss this with someone, someone I can trust not to betray my confidence or judge me almost instantly. While I do have friends I trust, Morris and Adam are both Alphas, and they would frown heavily upon my actions. I know what their initial reaction would be, and I need an unbiased one.

For the past week, I've stayed away from Charlotte. My wolf has been deeply unhappy about this. That's what shakes me up even more.

Why is my wolf so obsessed with her? It's never shown any sign of interest in any female before. I've always known I'll never be with a woman. My scar has prevented any woman from approaching me. I've seen myself in the mirror long enough to know how ugly I look because of it. It's a fact I accepted after years of struggling with my new reality.

It's not like I can't get a mate and bear a child. Ever since I became the Alpha and the pack has begun to prosper under my rule, many high-ranking families have been trying to get their daughters into my bed. A few of the pack elders have introduced the girls in their families to me in the hopes that I would fall for one of them.

But even with the girls playing nice with me and flirting heavily, I see nothing but greed and disgust in their eyes. They want the power and the riches, but they know they'll have to let me into their beds to get them. My wolf isn't immune to being disliked and viewed with prejudice. He's never shown an ounce of interest in those women. Although, to be fair, he's never shown any interest in a female before Charlotte.

The thought of Charlotte has my wolf wagging its tail happily.

Charlotte looks at me with shy eyes that can turn fierce at any minute.

Whenever her eyes are on me, I feel normal, as if my face is like any other, void of deformities. When she talks to me, it's almost as if she is blind to all my faults. The biggest problem she has with me is that I'm a wolf shifter. And the further away she tries to push me, the more desperate I am to pull her into my arms.

I'm the Alpha of a pack. My friends would be telling me to think with my head. But logic goes out the window where this woman is concerned.

"Why do you think there would be something for you to judge?" I give Aisha a half-smile.

She doesn't waver, folding her arms across her chest. "Because if there weren't, you would be talking to Morris. Clearly this is something you don't want him knowing, or it's something delicate. Something to do with a woman?"

I can hear the teasing edge to her words, but when I don't laugh or shrug it off, her smile fades. She leans forward, her arms dropping to the table. "Robert, are you serious?" She's both shocked and excited. "You found someone?"

"Why do you sound so surprised?" I give her an irritable look. "Just because I look like a monster doesn't mean—"

I don't get to finish the sentence because I'm slapped upside my head. "Excuse you? You're the only one who thinks you look like a monster. Don't bunch me into your idiot category."

I rub my head where she smacked me, wincing. "Why are you so strong? And stop hitting me. You're a married woman. If you want to beat someone, you've got a husband for that."

"My husband isn't the one spouting garbage from his mouth right now, is he?" Aisha scowls. "Who's the girl? Do I know her?"

"Slow down." I lift both my hands. "Before I say anything, I'm talking to you as my sister, not Morris's mate or the Alpha Female. So, whatever we discuss here stays between us."

Aisha grows serious at my words. "Of course. But is it really something that needs to be kept secret?"

"For now, yes," I say slowly. "You know the coffee shop across the road from our office?"

"Yeah?"

"She works there." I study Aisha's face. "She's also the one who rescued me from the attack a couple weeks back."

Aisha blinks. "What? But Harry said the woman he met was a vampire."

When I don't say anything, realization dawns on her, and she goes still. "Robert, the woman you like…she's a vampire?"

I nod.

This is the point I expect her to say something harsh or negative, but Aisha just sits there, trying to absorb this information. After a moment, she asks, "What is she like?"

I close my eyes briefly, relief filling me. "I was sure this would go a different way."

Feeling her hand on my knee, I open my eyes. She's smiling at me. "I know you, Robert. If you like this woman, there has to be a reason."

I let out a puff of air. "She's not part of any clan. Her family not only kicked her out, they also deregistered her. She's been living without a clan since she was fourteen. She volunteers at an animal shelter and has a cat. She's not like her kind. Her abilities are practically non-existent. She gets drunk very easily on human alcohol. She's got a soft spot for animals, and she's trying to put herself through school to become a vet. She's very beautiful: red hair, green eyes. She's also got a sweet smile…"

Aisha's grin grows broader with each sentence, and when I finish, she murmurs, "You're well on your way to falling in love with her, Robert."

I want to deny it, but my wolf rumbles in approval at her assessment, and I fall silent.

"She sounds very special." Aisha takes her hand in mine. "I'm happy for you."

I try to smile, but those muscles are stiff. "But it's not going to work, is it?"

My sister gives me a serious look. "Because of the different species?"

"Vampires and wolf shifters don't marry or mate. It's impossible." I get to my feet, agitated.

"Why are you thinking so far down the line?" Aisha demands, watching me pace.

"Because she is the first woman that my wolf has become interested in, Aisha!" I burst out. "He wants her. He's extremely possessive about her. It feels like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place right now. On one hand, I'm responsible for this pack, and on the other, my wolf is falling all over himself wanting to be around this female vampire who will never be accepted into my pack or even my life."

"It's not just your wolf," Aisha points out. "You want her as well. You describe her like a man in love would, Robert."

"I can't be with a vampire," I say, my heart aching. "I can't even consider being with one, not if I want to hold on to this pack. So, I thought I'd just be friends with her. Have her in my life in another form. But it was childish of me. Everything about her drives me crazy, Aisha. Things didn't go the way I planned, and one thing led to another."

Aisha's eyes widen. "You slept with her."

I groan, sinking onto the couch. "I lost control. She drank from me, and I let her, and then I bit her on her neck, where the mating mark is supposed to go."

My sister is pale now. "You mated her?"

"I don't know. I don't think that's how it works for those not of our species. Neither of us was very much in control. I don't feel her inside me, so I don't think a mating bond was formed between us."

Aisha is silent, watching me. After a few seconds, she says quietly, "You sound disappointed."

A broken laugh spills out of my mouth. "Don't I, though? My wolf wants her. I want her. It's completely illogical. I shouldn't even be risking my position as Alpha, but here I am, wishing I could feel the mating bond with this woman I've known for only a few weeks."

"Knowing you, you would have run an extensive background check on her," Aisha murmurs. "You wouldn't have approached her if you thought she was a threat. Do you want my opinion on this?"

I give her a wan smile. "That's why I asked you over."

"Follow your heart," Aisha says gently. "I know it's cringy advice, but Robert, nothing should ever come before the woman you love—not the pack, not your status, not power or money. This is probably not what Morris would say to you, but I will. If you think that this woman is special and that you cannot live without her, then you should fight for her. And as far as the pack accepting her is concerned, you're the Alpha. I do understand that, right now, with the current environment being what it is, it will be hard, but you need to think about what you want to prioritize. You can fight for the woman you want, or you can choose to walk away. Either way, I will have your back. No matter what Morris or anyone else says, I'm on your side."

My lips twitch. "Just like that?"

"Just like that." She smiles at me. "What is family for, after all? But…" her voice turns hard, "if this woman becomes a threat—"

"I'll be the first one to get rid of her," I say coolly.

Even if it kills me.

******

My conversation with Aisha did little more than get an ally on my side. At the end of the day, everybody else will look at Charlotte as the enemy. Her being a vampire is enough to make her untrustworthy in the eyes of the pack.

I'm not a fool.

I know I should resist my wolf's desires.

That's why I was trying to reach a compromise by going to dinner with Charlotte, as friends. I was sure I could control myself, my urges. But it's next to impossible.

I haven't seen her in over a week now. And I've been miserable.

I've never been a selfish man. An Alpha has to look out for the interests of the pack. He cannot afford to be selfish. But I want to be selfish this time. I want this one thing for myself. I know how happy Adam is. I've seen the wild love in Morris's eyes when he is with Aisha. I want that for me.

Common sense is telling me that I can't have it. That I can't turn my back on my pack.

But my heart disagrees.

I stare out my office window at the small cafe on the corner, just across the street from me. She's so close, and she feels so far away. I've always prided myself on not being indecisive, but I am standing in the center of a storm, torn between two paths: one to search for my own happiness, and the other to remain loyal to my duties. I won't be able to do both because forcing the pack to accept Charlotte will be next to impossible. Even if the pack does try, the elders, who want to use their daughters or nieces to gain the power that comes from being related to the Alpha, will fight me at every turn.

I see the door to the cafe open. A red-haired woman walks out, struggling with her jacket. It's quite cold these days, and I see her trying to fight against the wind.

I feel like a coward, staring at her from a distance. I haven't called her or reached out to her once after our night together. God knows what she thinks of me.

All of a sudden, I realize she's not moving. She seems to be waiting for somebody.

My brows knit together as I watch her lift her hand in a short wave. Following her gaze, I see a man approaching her.

She's smiling at him.

My heart sinks.

When he reaches her, she hugs him.

My wolf growls.

Who is that? Why is Charlotte touching him in such a familiar manner?

As they begin walking down the street, jealousy burns within me.

She moved on. She didn't wait for me. She's already got someone else.

My wolf wants to tear that man limb from limb.

But I can't forget the look on her face.

Has she ever smiled at me like that?

Perhaps when she was drunk.

What am I doing?

I turn around and stare at my empty office. I'm letting her walk away from me. And if she does, it'll be the most convenient thing for everyone.

Everyone but me.

I wish I hadn't told Harry to take Zeno home with him. The office seems lonelier without his yapping.

I grab a bottle of unopened wolf whiskey and head over to the couch to drink it. A few chugs have my insides burning, and I throw my head back on the couch, gazing at the ceiling. This was my whole life before Charlotte: working, getting drunk, and going to sleep. On the days I didn't get drunk, I went home to an empty house.

Charlotte's presence brought the spark into my life that I've always craved. And now, I'm letting her slip through my fingers.

What was so great about that man, anyway, that she had to wrap her arms around him? His face was admittedly not the worst—better than mine, at least. I lift my hand to touch the scarred tissue. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe she does find my scars hideous. Maybe she's pleased that I'm no longer bothering her.

A knock on the door has me looking over, but I ignore it. I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone.

"Robert? It's me, Cynthia."

I blink, surprised.

"It's open," I call out reluctantly.

The woman who walks in has beautiful silver hair, which is tied into a knot on her head, and she's wearing a suit.

I take another swig from my whiskey. "I'm sorry, but this is a bad time."

"We have an appointment," Cynthia says, frowning at me. "Your company wanted to work on a project with mine. Remember? You emailed me a month ago. We said we'd meet after hours?"

"I'm sorry, Cynthia." I glance at her. "I'm having a shitty day, and I just want to get drunk and dwell in some self-pity, if that's okay with you."

I expect her to leave. Cynthia is Adam's mate; she and I get along, but we don't spend a lot of time together. The polite thing would be to leave.

Cynthia raises a brow. "You can get drunk after our meeting."

I glare at her. "I don't want to have a meeting. I just want to be left alone. I'll reschedule."

"I'm very busy this month, Robert." Cynthia shoots me an annoyed look. "Why're you getting drunk, anyway?"

I go back to staring at the ceiling after taking another swig from the bottle. "My love life is a shit show."

Cynthia decides to offer sympathy. "Oh. Got your heart broken?"

"Something like that," I sigh heavily.

"You want to talk about it?" It's a reluctant offer that has me looking over at her.

I can't suppress the chuckle. "No. You don't have to saddle yourself with my problems. I promise I'll reschedule this meeting. Go home to your family. They must be waiting for you."

My heart tightens in loneliness as I say that, knowing there is no one waiting for me at my house. No one worrying about where I am, or that it's late and I haven't had anything to eat since breakfast.

"Do you want to come have dinner with us?" Cynthia asks suddenly.

I give her a small, empty smile. "No. I'd just like to be alone right now."

She lingers for a few seconds before sighing. "Alright, then."

I watch her leave, and when the door closes behind her, I sink deeper into the couch, determined to finish the bottle. Anything to forget the way Charlotte smiled at that man who wasn't me.

******

The sun on my face wakes me up. I'm sprawled on the same couch I was drinking on last night, the empty bottle against my stomach, my arms wrapped around it.

I stare at my brightly lit office and groan loudly before rolling onto my back and contemplating what to do. I stink like crazy, so a shower should be my first move. However, the bathroom in my office has a plumbing issue that I haven't gotten around to dealing with. I'll have to go home for that shower.

Sitting up, I feel the beginnings of a vicious headache.

"Had that coming," I mutter out loud. "The plan was a pity party, not a raging fucking headache. Good job. Real Alpha material there, Robert."

Cursing myself, I grab my wallet and keys and make my way outside.

I've just reached my car in the parking lot and my hand is wrapping around the door handle when I look across the street at the cafe. I can see Charlotte in the window, and my hand freezes. She's wiping down the glass display. Her hair is tied in a braid today, and her lips are moving. The way she keeps glancing over her shoulder, she must be talking to somebody.

And tonight, will she go off with that man again?

What am I doing?

Why am I letting this happen?

She looks so pretty and perfect, her eyes glinting as the sun hits them. I want all her smiles. I want all her laughter.

I don't know what's going to happen, but I need her in my life. I don't know why I've fallen for this woman, but I can't do without her. I can't live without her. Suddenly, there was never a time before Charlotte. It's like my world began when she walked into it.

My hand slips from the door handle, and I'm walking.

Across the parking lot, across the road.

Her eyes widen when she sees me, and then I'm standing in front of her. She's alone now.

"R—Robert," she stammers.

I stare at her for a few seconds, knowing this is the only way, the only path I can take. Let everything else—my duty, my status—let it all burn to the ground. In this moment, there is nothing else aside from her. She's all there is.

"Charlotte," I breathe.

"Are you okay?" She looks concerned, her eyes running over me. Grabbing my hands, she guides me to one of the empty seats. "What happened? Are you hurt? Are—"

I let her move me around as she wants, soaking in the worry in her eyes. Her soft heart overrides the anger she should be feeling.

"I'm fine. I'm okay."

"You don't look okay!" She presses her lips together, almost as if she's struggling with tears. "I'm going to get you some water and a coffee. Maybe something to eat?"

"Charlotte…" I grab her hand, stopping her in her tracks. When she turns to look at me, I ask, "Will you let me take you out on a date?"