Chapter 12 - Alysa

In the quiet darkness, Alysa's breathing was steady, her face soft in the embrace of sleep. For once, the incessant worries that had haunted her since she arrived here faded into the background.

She felt safe and cherished, as if, for one fleeting moment, everything was as it should be. In her slumber, she turned slightly, her lips curving into a small smile as she smelt his scent all around her, tethering her to the memory of something sweet.

For a moment, she basked in the warmth of the memories from the night before—Cassius's touch, his kisses, the way he'd made her feel so alive, the way his hands knew exactly where to touch.

“Good girl.”

Alysa’s eyes fluttered open, and a smile curved her lips as she reached out, expecting to find his solid warmth beside her.

Her hand met cold sheets instead.

Huh?

The smile faded as reality seeped in. Alysa sat up, the blanket falling away as she scanned the empty room. No sign of Cassius. No note, no explanation.

There was no trace but the lingering scent of him in the sheets—a mix of earth, pine, and cedar that made her heart ache.

Maybe he just got up early.

A hollow pit settled in her stomach as she slowly sat up, staring at the spot beside her where he had been. The sheets were still rumpled, and his scent was everywhere—infusing the space with memories she wasn’t ready to let go of.

She trailed her fingers through the empty space, wondering why it already felt like a distant memory. Was it foolish to believe in something that fragile? Was last night an exception, or had she imagined the connection entirely?

She tried to quell the unease rising in her chest. He is the Alpha, after all. He probably had important Pack business to attend to.

But as she slipped out of bed and padded to the bathroom, doubt gnawed at her. The air felt different somehow, charged with an undercurrent of tension that hadn't been there the night before.

Alysa caught sight of herself in the mirror and paused. Her chestnut hair was tousled, her lips still slightly swollen from Cassius's kisses. She touched her neck, remembering the feel of his mouth there.

The day passed in a blur of routine tasks and stolen glances at the clock. Alysa went through the motions of caring for Aurora, her mind constantly wandering to Cassius. Where was he? Why hadn't he come to see them?

Each smile from Aurora ignited warmth within her, but the laughter echoed hollow without Cassius's presence.

By evening, the knot in her stomach had tightened to the point of pain. She put Aurora to bed, her movements mechanical as she sang the baby's favorite lullaby. As the last notes faded, she heard the front door open and close.

Her heart leaped.

Cassius.

Alysa hurried downstairs, a smile already forming on her lips. But as she rounded the corner into the living room, she stopped short. Cassius stood by the fireplace, his back to her, his posture rigid.

"Cassius?" she said softly.

He turned, and the look in his eyes made her breath catch. Gone was the warmth, the tenderness she'd seen the night before. In its place was a cool detachment that chilled her to the bone.

"Alysa," he said, his voice clipped. "I hope Aurora didn't give you any trouble today."

She blinked, thrown by his businesslike tone. "No, she was fine. Cassius, about last night—”

"I have some work to finish," he cut her off, already moving toward his study. "Goodnight, Alysa."

The door closed behind him with a soft click, leaving Alysa standing alone in the sudden silence.

What just happened?

They had shared something intense, something real, but that intimacy now felt like a fleeting shadow. She sat on the couch and wrapped her arms around her knees, her mind racing.

The next morning dawned grey and overcast, matching Alysa's mood perfectly. She'd tossed and turned all night, replaying Cassius's cold dismissal over and over in her mind. As she made her way to the kitchen, she steeled herself for another encounter.

But Cassius was nowhere to be seen.

Abigail was already bustling about the kitchen. She greeted Alysa with a warm smile. "Good morning, Dear. The Alpha left early for a meeting. He said not to expect him back until late."

Alysa's heart sank. "Oh. I see. Thank you, Abigail."

Alysa lingered in the doorway, watching Abigail with an unreadable expression. "Does he… He doesn't always leave so early, does he?" she asked, trying to keep her voice casual but failing to mask the uncertainty creeping in.

At least he didn't when I first got here.

Abigail glanced up from the dishes, her hands pausing for just a second too long before she smiled. "The Alpha? He's a busy man, Dear. Always something to handle for the Pack."

Alysa’s lips pressed into a thin line. Busy, sure. But was that all it was? A nagging voice in the back of her mind whispered otherwise. "I suppose that's true," she muttered, feeling no closer to the answers she desperately craved.

She went through the motions of the day, her mind a whirl of confusion and hurt.

Why is he avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?

The pattern repeated itself over the next few days. Cassius would leave before she woke, returning long after she'd gone to bed. On the rare occasions when their paths did cross, he was unfailingly polite but distant, never meeting her eyes for more than a moment.

Night after night, when he got back, Cassius continued to retreat into his study, the door locked and silent. Alysa counted the hours, her heart growing heavier with each one that passed.

Alysa felt like she was going crazy. The contrast between the passionate, tender Cassius of that night and this cold, aloof version was giving her whiplash. She switched between anger and despair, wanting to confront him but afraid of what he might say.

On the third night, she found herself unable to sleep, pacing the guest room she'd retreated to. The memory of Cassius's touch, his kisses, haunted her. How could he act like nothing had happened between them?

Maybe that's exactly what it meant to him , a small, cruel voice whispered in her mind.

Nothing

Tears pricked at her eyes, and Alysa angrily wiped them away. No. She refused to believe that. The connection they'd shared had been real. She'd felt it in every fiber of her being.

So why was he pushing her away?

In the quiet hours of the night, she would lie awake, recalling the way he’d held her, the way their laughter had danced together in the dim light.

As the fourth day dawned with still no change, Alysa's hurt began to crystallize into anger. She was tired of feeling confused, tired of being avoided like she carried some contagious disease. If Cassius wanted to pretend nothing had happened between them, fine. But he owed her an explanation, at the very least.

That evening, after putting Aurora to bed, Alysa made a decision. No more hiding. No more waiting for Cassius to acknowledge her. It was time to force the issue.

With determined steps, she made her way to Cassius's bedroom. She knew he had a late Pack meeting tonight—it was the perfect opportunity to confront him without interruption.

Alysa settled herself in the armchair by the window, her heart pounding. Minutes felt like hours as she waited, her heart pounding against her ribcage, an incessant drum urging her to confront him.

Alysa's fingers fiddled with the hem of her shirt, the fabric soft and familiar against her skin, but it offered little comfort now. Was she making a mistake? Should she just let it go?

No, I deserve answers.

The sound of a key in the lock made her sit up straighter. This was it.

Cassius stepped into the room, loosening his tie. He froze when he saw her, his eyes widening in surprise. "Alysa? What are you doing here?"

She took a deep breath, steeling herself against the sudden tension crackling in the air. The warmth of his presence engulfed her, but the distance between them felt insurmountable.

She stood, squaring her shoulders. "We need to talk."

His jaw tightened, a flicker of something… Regret? Fear?—passing through his eyes before they went carefully blank. "It's late. Can't this wait until morning?"

"It's always tomorrow, or later, or when you're less busy," Alysa shot back, her frustration mounting. "But tomorrow never comes, does it, Cassius? You’ve been avoiding me for days. Do you know what it’s like to sit here and wonder if what we had meant anything to you at all?"

Cassius turned away, his shoulders tense. "It’s not that simple, Alysa."

"Then explain it to me," Alysa said, her voice stronger than she felt. "It can't. You've been avoiding me for days, Cassius. I think I deserve an explanation."

Cassius shifted, and for a moment, the room was thick with unsaid words. He stepped further inside, shutting the door behind him with a heavy thud.

Cassius sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I haven't been avoiding you. I've just been busy with Pack business."

"Bullshit," Alysa snapped, surprising herself with the vehemence in her voice. "You can't even look me in the eye. What happened? Was I… was I that disappointing?"

The words hung in the air between them, charged with hurt and vulnerability. Cassius's head snapped up, his blue eyes blazing. "Disappointing? Alysa, no. That's not—”

"Then what?" she demanded, taking a step closer. "One minute we're… we're connecting, and the next you can barely stand to be in the same room as me. Did it mean nothing to you? Was I just a convenient warm body?"

Cassius flinched as if she'd struck him. "How can you think that? You know me better than that, Alysa."

"Do I?" she shot back, angry tears pricking at her eyes. "Because the Cassius I thought I knew wouldn't treat me like this. He wouldn't use me and then toss me aside like yesterday's garbage."

"I didn't use you!" Cassius growled, his careful composure cracking. "Dammit, Alysa, I was trying to protect you! Everything I do… it’s to protect this Pack, my family. And now you…"

She blinked, thrown off balance by his words. "Protect me? From what?"

Cassius ran a hand over his face, suddenly looking exhausted. "From me. From this… mess I've created. You deserve better than a broken man with more baggage than he knows what to do with."

“Who says you’re broken?” Alysa's anger deflated, replaced by a deep ache in her chest. "And shouldn't that be my choice to make?"

"I'm your boss," Cassius said, his voice low and pained. "I took advantage of you. I let my desires override my better judgment, and—”

"Stop," Alysa cut him off, moving closer until she was standing right in front of him. "You didn't take advantage of anything. I wanted you, Cassius. I've wanted you for so long."

His eyes searched her face, a war of emotions playing out in their depths. "Alysa…"

"No, let me finish," she said, her voice trembling slightly. "I'm not some fragile flower you need to protect. I'm a grown woman who knows her own mind. And my mind, my heart… they want you."

Cassius closed his eyes, pain etched across his features. "You don't know what you're asking for. I'm not… I can't be what you need. What you deserve."

The moments stretched between them, heavy with expectation. She refused to back down, eyes locked onto his.

“Then why did you sleep with me?” The question hung in the air, raw and accusing. “Did you think I was just going to sit here and wait for you to decide what you wanted?”

Cassius ran a hand through his hair, a gesture of frustration she’d come to recognize. “You don’t understand the position I’m in. The expectations—”

“Expectations? What about my feelings? What about Aurora? Did you think we could have a one-night stand and go back to how we were?”

A painful silence enveloped them. Alysa's chest tightened, her heart pounding against her ribs, feeling as if the walls were closing in. Cassius opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He seemed trapped, lost in a whirlwind of thoughts.

“I’m trying to protect you!” he finally said. “From what this could become, from me.”

"Why don't you let me decide if I need protecting?" Alysa reached out, her hand hovering just shy of touching his cheek. "Cassius, please. Don't push me away."

For a moment, she thought she'd gotten through to him. His eyes softened, and he leaned ever so slightly into her touch. But then, like a shutter coming down, his expression closed off again.

"I'm sorry, Alysa," he said, his voice rough. "But this… us… it can't happen. It was a mistake."

The words hit her like a physical blow. Alysa stumbled back, her vision blurring with tears. "A mistake," she repeated, her voice hollow. "I see."

"Alysa, wait—” Cassius reached for her, but she jerked away.

"No, I think you've made yourself perfectly clear," she said, fighting to keep her voice steady. "Don't worry, Alpha. It won't happen again."

She turned and fled the room, not trusting herself to look back. If she had, she might have seen the anguish etched across Cassius's face, the way his hands clenched at his sides as if physically restraining himself from going after her.

Alysa made it back to the guest room before the first sob tore from her throat. She collapsed onto the bed, burying her face in the pillow to muffle her cries. The pain in her chest was almost unbearable, a gaping wound where her heart used to be.

How could I have been so stupid?

As the tears subsided, leaving her feeling hollow and wrung out, Alysa made a decision. She couldn't stay here, not after this. In the morning, she'd call Aleksander. It was time to go home.

With that thought, she curled into herself, letting exhaustion pull her under. Her last conscious thought was of Cassius's face and the look in his eyes just before he'd pushed her away.

A mistake. That's all I ever was to him.