Chapter 14 - Faye

Even after I got to see the Mothman statue, I couldn't shake my creepy encounter with that advertisement for Beaufort Creek, South Carolina, back at the café. Haunted faces followed me everywhere I looked. Nothing cheered me up after that, not even Hector cracking his usual jokes. The wall that formed between us went up as easily as it had dropped.

Was it going to be like this all the time? Was I always going to miss my family even though my biological family was starting to accept me? What other torment would I face with these demons? I felt such a torrent of emotions that I wasn't sure which one to pay attention to. In the end, I ended up ignoring them all.

Just as I got into the passenger seat of the car, the rainclouds overhead broke open. Rain cascaded down in heavy waves. The sky bellowed gutturally as Hector carefully drove along the highway that would lead back to the pack. Lightning cracked the sky, flashing white against the windshield. Thunder burst out over the car and rattled the wheels, shook the windows, and forced the entire mechanical structure to quiver.

I crossed my arms over my chest as Hector shot me an accusatory look. "You need to cut it out, you know."

I shook my head viciously. "I'm not doing anything." A shadowy face materialized in the windshield and then disappeared.

I cringed.

He scoffed. "Yes, you are! When you get mad, you always make it storm like this."

Fear laced through me as I searched the road for demons. I held out my hands, trying to find where it went. "It's not just when I'm mad."

"Well, you're doing it now, and you're kind of acting like a huge brat about the whole thing."

I gaped at him, shouting to be heard over the torrential downpour. "You're the one who yanked me out of my pack and brought me here. If you didn't want me to act like this, then maybe you shouldn't have done these things to me. Have you considered that? Have you? "

Rain beat harder against the roof, flooding the car windows with the unearthly rush of water. The shadowy face reappeared with hollow eyes and a wide crater for a mouth. It lashed at the window where I focused my palms, yelping when a zap erupted from my fingertips.

Hector shouted, "You're doing it now!"

I kept my eyes on the slithering shadow as rain went right through its oblong body. "I'm protecting us!"

"From what? That demon is gone, Faye."

"It's right there!" I glared at the windshield while trying to draw on that zapping ability again. "Come on, just get it right, already…"

"I don't think you understand the things that I've done for you."

" Oh , so this is about the things that you've done for me. Well, let's start at the beginning, shall we?"

He slammed the wheel twice with his palms. "Here we go again. I'm never gonna outlive this, am I? You're always going to just hold it right over my head."

Thunder clapped agaisnt the roof of the car. I gritted my teeth as I zoned all my attention in on the shadowy jerk trying to rip through the hood of the car. "Leave my family alone!"

The world went white as lightning struck the hood of the car. Hector swerved around it, landing part-way in a shallow ditch where he shut off the engine. I held my hands to my chest, feeling the terrifying beat of my heart against my sternum. I gulped air into my lungs, searching the hood, searching the curtain of rain, trying to find the danger.

And not finding it at all.

I leaned forward. "Is it gone?"

He flipped around to face me, waving his hands erratically. "Nothing was even there. You need to cut it out . You're gonna kill us both, Faye Lynne Spears. You're too much!"

That little comment sent me back in time. I was a ten-year-old girl again sitting in the front seat of my mama's car with the radio playing her favorite Beatles album that was drowned out by a tsunami.

" Faye Lynne Spears, you're too much. You'll always be too much. Nobody wants you like this!"

Goddess, I just wanted it all to stop. I wanted the earth to spin into a new solar system with just me on the giant space rock. I wanted to go where nobody knew me, where no one could blame me for the weather.

Especially when it wasn't my fault.

There were times when my emotions were fine and I was even keel and nothing was wrong. The sky would darken with a mighty vengeance that threatened to eat up the sun, and during those times, my parents blamed me for it. My own brother would come to my bedroom door and beg me to quit. I hated that they blamed me for all those torrential things. I hated that they worsened my feelings. Even though they had just recently accepted me back into the Silverfang Creek, I felt like I was still an outcast.

No one was going to accept me with these kinds of powers, especially if I couldn't control them. Not even Hector could get me to calm down. There was only one time he was able to do that, about a week ago, but now it seemed that his concern was more about how I perceived him than what happened between us. My anger grew in intensity. I can't believe I gave my v-card to you.

I shivered as the cold penetrated the car. Ice cracked the windows with spider webs, and an icy chill that felt otherworldly invaded the space. Hector shivered, his breath steaming the air in front of him. His expression shifted to concern. He looked out at the hood of the car, at the dent I put there with lightning.

To save us.

To save him .

When he reached for me, I flinched. "You think I'm crazy, huh?"

He shook his head. "No, Faye Lynne. I didn't mean what I said."

"But you did. You couldn't see that demon, but I could. I saw how it was trying to claw away your damn engine, Hector."

He rested his hand on my upper back. "I'm so sorry, Faye. Just breathe."

I snapped my shoulder away from him. " Don't ."

But he kept his hand on my back despite my biting warning. "Or what? You'll make it rain again?" He huffed. "I don't care about that. What I care about is how that demon thing affected you."

The warmth that radiated from his palm loosened my muscles, made my arms slump, and made my entire body seem like it was hanging by threads commanded by a puppeteer. I slouched into my seat, trying to hold my head up, feeling heavier than anything that was happening outside.

The storm died down. The rain lightened. The lightning went away. A bit of thunder rumbled in the distance, but it wasn't as intense as it had been about forty seconds ago. Hector continued to rub my back. He didn't say anything, and he didn't judge me. I tried not to beat myself up, but the truth was that I couldn't control these powers, and I wasn't sure why. They'll never understand , came a voice unbidden inside of my mind. Was I just thinking that? They'll never understand because they don't want to understand .

Hector's fingers rose to the base of my skull, just at the hairline, rubbing repeatedly. He brought my head up and cupped my face. He looked at me with the most tired expression, one that was full of defeat. And I thought maybe there was a bit of regret there as well.

"Can you still see it?"

I shook my head. "No."

"I'm sorry, Faye."

"No, I'm sorry," I whispered weakly. "I'm not going to run, I swear."

But that voice came again. They'll keep hurting you , it insisted. If you run now, you can avoid all the hurt.

Hector caressed my face, running his thumb along my cheekbone. "I believe you. I'm sorry I pushed you so hard."

I turned away, trying to hide the tears that came uninvited. I hated crying and I especially hated crying in front of him because I saw it as a huge weakness. It meant that I couldn't control myself. It meant that I wasn't fit to be his mate. Yet, despite my clear inability to be a good mate, he wiped away my tears quietly. He handed me a water bottle, and then he offered me one of the leftover Mothman cookies. I hungrily munched on it, feeling like I couldn't control my appetite either.

And then the tidal wave started all over again. A great tsunami, a wall of a wave that came just as it had many times before. All the reminders of the things that my family had done to me, the way that they had tried to dictate what I ate, what I didn't eat. The way that they restricted my food. The way they checked my room frequently for snacks or other hidden things. I felt like a prisoner in my own house.

Halfway through the cookie, I stopped eating it and set it down in the center console where it was originally sitting. I wiped the crumbs for my lips. I shoved my hands between my thighs, trying to sit up, fixing my posture so I would look good and not like a fat chump who was just trying to eat her feelings.

Hector rested his hand on my thigh. "I shouldn't have yelled at you like that."

I looked at him, noticing the genuine apology that sat in his eyes. I reached out to touch his wolfish face, feeling the sturdiness of his jawbone. "It takes a lot of strength to admit that kind of thing."

He lowered his gaze to my lap. "I don't know. I just didn't want to sound like my aunt."

I frowned. "I thought she was important to you."

"Hell no. Aunt Gerta is just a scrawny nobody with beady eyes. She likes to criticize my every move."

I nodded with understanding. "Where is she now?"

He sighed. "She lives behind the main neighborhood, but she doesn't really talk to me."

"Why is that?"

"My parents kind of dumped me on her lap because they just couldn't handle taking care of me on the road. My dad is like this washed-up rock star, and my mom is just his reckless junkie enabler."

I studied the landscape around us, noticing that the gray clouds were starting to drift away. Sunlight broke through in little patches like spotlights illuminating the fields. "Do you know where they are now?"

"No idea. I guess I just thought I could prove myself to them by being better."

I laughed. "They can't even see what you're doing."

He took my hand. "I'm aware of that. I just guess that… I don't know. I just wanted their approval still. In a way. Maybe." He huffed as he sank into his seat. "Whatever."

"I can really understand that."

He chuckled and then paused and then chuckled again like he wasn't sure if he should be laughing. "I got the sense that you do."

"I'm sorry about how I reacted back there in the café. I just miss everybody. That demon isn't helping."

"I don't want you to miss everybody. Your everybody should be right here."

I clenched his hand, feeling the fury return. Magic flowed to the tips of my fingers, snapping Hector.

He yanked his hand back and shook it. " Ouch , that really hurt, Faye!"

I folded my hands together, feeling ashamed of my reaction. "I'm sorry, you're right. I really don't have much control over my power right now."

Concern drifted into his features as he started the car again. "I can always get into contact with somebody to help you with that if you want."

I studied his face. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, I mean, it's not like you can just get rid of your power or something. If you have to live with it, you should learn to live with it, right?"

"I shouldn't have to do anything."

"No, but it's still your responsibility."

I shrugged hard and turned away. "Yeah, I guess that's true."

There it was again, the feeling that he just didn't get it.

I didn't ask for these powers. I didn't even ask to be born. I was thrust into a family that chose to misunderstand me, that chose to resent me instead. It wasn't like his family resented him. It was just that his family hadn't wanted him. We were two different people coming from two different backgrounds.

When I lifted my head, I noticed the rainbow in the sky, the one that went the same way we were going. And now, as Hector drove toward it, another feeling came over me. A piece of hope, something that I had hung on to when I was a child. A feeling so distinct that I started to tear up.

I hoped as a teenager that maybe I could go home someday. That maybe I'd be welcomed home someday. And I realized that the rainbow was pointing to home. Back to the Silverfang Creek pack. If the storm came for me, then so did the rainbow.

That had to be true, didn't it?