Chapter 12 - Faye

He doesn't know.

That was my first thought as the tips of his teeth touched my neck.

He doesn't know that I tripped on purpose .

It was too thrilling to be pursued. I thought this ritual would be overrated, that it was just a piece of sexist garbage from the past that modern men reinforced so they could indulge in weird fantasies about chasing women down and capturing them. I didn't realize how intense my feelings would get as I sprinted through the forest, in tune with the women around me who made clanging sounds and howled passionately.

"We'll distract him," one of the women had told me. "You just keep running toward that fire."

One of the other women giggled and added, "Or you could let him catch you."

They roared with laughter as they whistled and howled around me, pumping me up for the game of cat-and-mouse (or deer-and-wolf). I couldn't help smiling. I couldn't help laughing along with them. I couldn't stop my mouth from participating in their infectious chanting,

"The doe is the end, foe to friend!"

In the middle of chanting, I almost considered handing a few of them my patchouli hair oil. I knew that he had inspected those vials in the bathroom. I heard him go in there right after my shower this morning, and I sensed that he was interested in everything that made my scent so uniquely me .

The morning memory remained on my mind as the distinct texture of his fur invited my touch, making me feel like I was running my fingers over a fine rug. Chuckling, I realized how silly it was to imagine him as a rug lying in front of a fireplace. At the same time, that was exactly how it felt—like a warm pelt that invited me to wrap my arms around him.

I held him by his neck, keeping him close, so that he could bask in every minute of this monumental moment. I had only thought about it a few times, pictured it hesitantly, trying to sort out my feelings about each step. I couldn't deny there was an attractiveness to the act, something so primal and luxurious that I felt like everything was breaking down. Every wall and barrier I'd put up to keep him out was crumbling at my fingertips.

The longer he teased his menacing teeth around my neck, the more I wanted him to tear me open.

"Please," I begged in a tortured voice I hardly recognized, "Mark me. Make me yours ."

What strange euphoria came over me as his teeth plunged into my flesh. Remarkable flashes of light exploded in my vision as I arched my back and exposed my body to his prowess. The tiny pricks went from blissful to painful and then to pure ecstasy. In my mind, it felt like I was walking into the ocean to be cleansed. Cool sensations rushed my body while I clung to his fur, digging my fingers into the thick pelt and soaking up the flood of pleasure that crashed over me.

"Yes… harder …"

I gasped as his bite deepened, begging my wolf to the surface who wanted to frolic through the forest until dawn. Part of me wanted so much to do that. We had never run together. If it was exciting in my human form, then I couldn't imagine the thrill of being animals together, for our strengths to be matched. This experience was beyond anything I'd ever had, and I never wanted it to go away.

Shift now and run .

The thought came without warning, sending a shock through my body that made him whimper. When he pulled back, I noticed my blood dripped from his maw. With a delicate touch, I wiped it away, using my robe to clean his face. The fur melted away, his snout reduced, and then his wolfish jaw came to form under his olive skin.

The rest of him followed suit, the rest of him I knew as human, his buff body, his olive skin with the skull tattoo on his right shoulder. My fingers reached for the spider web on his upper back, the one I hadn't noticed until he had his head bowed into my breasts. That onyx hair of his begged for me to caress it.

In our natural forms, we were one and the same. I couldn't see his blue-violet eyes, but I could feel them. I could perceive their coldness, the cool comfort that came with the glacial stare that he would give me from time to time. It was the same inspective glance he cast when he was unsure.

Since I'd finally figured out what his long silence was about, I tried to consider it myself. Was any of this right? Or were we just repeating mistakes from the past that our predecessors had made?

None of that mattered when he lifted his head and gazed at me with lips parted. I was prepared for that kiss—for so much longer than he could know. He swept in and stole my attention, making my entire body flush with heat as the cool wind engulfed us.

Something lost from the past .

His fingers drew circles on my stomach as they wove their way to my breasts. As his tongue plunged into my mouth, he played with my nipples, coaxing delighted sighs and shocked gasps from me.

Something that forever lasts .

He pushed the cloak up, revealing my plump flesh in the moonlight. The way his eyes scoped my body made me flush with anticipation. His hands had yet to stop their exploration of my breasts, doubling in grip as he studied the slit between my thighs. He nudged my knee aside with his knee, observing quietly, allowing cool air to brush over my exposed slit.

He held my breasts tenderly. "Touch yourself—" He met my gaze sharply. "—for me."

Abashed by the notion of him watching, I trailed my left hand over my side, brushing my fingers along my hip to show off my sensual touch, all without touching him at all. His hands rose to my shoulders, then my neck, then down both my arms to follow my left hand.

Mouth open, he watched as I ran one finger over my bulbous clit. The tip of my forefinger parted my slit, sliding through a mess of arousal that started well before he caught me. He licked his lips, nodded, and then commanded, "Spread yourself."

His demand stung my solar plexus, causing my chest to swell with bated breath. My compliance came easily with him—not because he was in charge of me, but because it charged me to be in his favor. It made me quiver to know that I was pleasing him with these simple tasks, with these things I did by myself.

His breath hitched—" good girl "—and then he dove south to lap my slit.

Heat flashed from my center throughout my body. "Oh, yes …" I caught the back of his head, eagerly bowing into the movement of his lips consuming my clit, trying to keep my knees from snapping closed while feverishly enthralled by the way his hands fought to keep my legs open.

Each dive of his tongue sent dangerous tingles up my body. I lost myself to the feeling, totally encompassed by his attention as he traced my folds and rounded my clit. He dove for my entrance and prodded inside, raising my knees over his shoulders to nestle deeper, to bury his mouth into my folds. This was different than how I imagined my first time would be, than how I had seen people do it in books. This was beyond magic, a slice of life that I had missed all this time.

All this time, he was right here .

He slurped my clit into his mouth, applying steady pressure to the swollen bud that made me writhe. I clutched the back of his head to shove him deeper, if that were possible, and to selfishly keep the activity from ending. I clamped as hard as I could on the sensation rising within me, the one I knew from playing with myself.

Yet nothing could stop the flood. Nothing could prevent the wild howl that left my lips as I bucked uncontrollably into his mouth. He slurped and sucked sloppily as I came, pushing me so far over the edge mentally that I didn't know whether I would return.

And I didn't care about returning. To hell with returning. If pleasure like this existed with him, then he was all I ever wanted.

As soon as he surfaced, I cupped his face and yanked him to my mouth, whimpering as I tasted myself on his lips. He bruised me with a darling kiss as he shuffled between my legs, dragging his hard cock over my sensitive folds. I shivered in the wake of my orgasm, unprepared for what was to come next—which I hoped would be him.

He broke the kiss and propped his hands on either side of my head, using the ground to steady himself. He peered down at me, silver moonlight haloing around his head, giving him a saintly appearance that reminded me of my hitchhike down to South Carolina. I spent a few nights in a church with colorful windows and gorgeous paintings on the vaulted ceiling.

That was how he looked—angelic, saintly, and utterly divine.

My mouth widened as he teased my entrance with the head of his cock. His brows furrowed as he pulled back, bowing toward me to press his forehead to mine. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

"You're not."

I swallowed hard. "It's just…"

He stroked my cheek. "We don't have to do anything."

Hearing him say that made me want him so much more. I smiled breathlessly. "But I want to everything ."

I caressed his hips as I widened my legs, slowly guiding his cock into my entrance. My center swelled with his girth, his own mouth dropping open in shock as he squeezed his eyes shut through the plunge.

"You're so… tight …"

Virgins usually are , I thought with a wince. I widened my legs to accommodate him. The pressure was intense, but my resolve to accept every inch was stronger.

I clutched his bottom. "Is it…bad?"

He licked his lips, slid out, and returned slowly. This time, the pressure was perfect. "It's not bad at all, baby. I love the way you feel."

I lay there stunned, feeling an overwhelming sense of relief and lust. My body tingled with each new pump, slowly and steadily like a piston just getting warmed up. He rocked and then glided, thrust and then sank in varying rhythms, testing the water as I participated more. I threaded my fingers behind his neck while moving along with him, eagerly trying to match his pace.

His hands returned to my breasts, where he thumbed my nipples, sending bursts of satisfaction right to my slit. I knew I would come again from him doing the bare minimum, and I loved how easy it was for him to please me. I adored how simple he made the entire act, with each action prompting my reaction. He was a natural leader and teacher—and I wanted to learn so much more.

"Your body is so receptive," he whispered. He planted a kiss on my forehead. "That's amazing. I love that about you."

My mind was blown. I thought Hector would be unimpressed by my lack of knowledge. But it was becoming more obvious by the second that he was truly enjoying the act of leading. His hands traveled every visible inch of my torso as he steadily pumped into me, taking his time, smiling when our eyes met and leaning in for another kiss.

I didn't know it could be this good.

I didn't know it could be this heavenly.

Within a few minutes, I adjusted to his presence, urgently returning his thrusts with bucks of my own. I worked eagerly to meet his pumps with vivid gasps that signaled my final undoing. Each time he disappeared inside me, I swelled with him, my chest filling with air and plumping up my breasts for him to take. He massaged my nipples generously as he burrowed deeper… and then deeper…

"Look what you do to me, baby," he whispered, the tone of his voice tinted with a sense of strain. "Do as I say, Cherry Pie. Look down."

Nothing could have stopped me from obeying his command. And nothing could have been hotter than what I beheld when I peered between our bodies. His thick cock vanished and came out in rapid strokes, fervent dives that demanded my attention. I watched his abs flex, his hips contract, his pecks harden with every thrust. Through the shadows, I witnessed our coupling as history in the making, a gorgeous reunion that would bring us closer.

I clawed his shoulders, unable to break my gaze away. "You're so…big…I think I might…I might …"

He chuckled through his next gasp, nuzzling his nose into my freshly marked throat. "Come for me, baby."

I squealed as I arched against him. My orgasm came faster than I was prepared, and I couldn't stop my legs from shaking and my body from rocking with hard convulsions. His groans grew louder as he held my hips up and pounded into me, the length of his body bathed in starry light as he leaned back to plummet harder.

"Good girl… You're so good…" He plunged faster. "You're so hot…"

White light flooded my vision. Our movements became a frenzied blur that gave way to him pumping hard between my legs. Loud slaps sounded through the trees, becoming one heavy groan as he folded himself around me and shoved his cock as deep as humanly possible.

" Mine ," he growled while he hugged my waist. A few more thrusts burst from him, threads of heat roping through my core as he squeezed my body. "All mine. Mine, mine…"

He collapsed on top of me, our sweaty bodies sliding over each other while we kept hugging and kissing. Another cool breeze intercepted our hot circle, and I sighed with relief at the feeling of it.

I dropped my head back on the mossy ground. "Fuck me."

He chuckled. "I just did."

"Again?"

His eyes went wide. "Let me catch my breath. Goddess…"

I smiled as I stared at the sky outlined with crowd shyness. "I hope no one heard us having sex."

"I can assure you they didn't. But the rest… it's supposed to be a show," he said when he stood up. "We should give them the performance of a lifetime."

He winked as he held his hand out to me and pulled me up from the ground, making me feel like I was light and free of any worry. I felt like a brand-new person.

Maybe I had become a new person. Because I'd given him something that I hadn't given to anyone else. The simple act of that had changed me. It didn't feel like a seismic shift, but something microscopic, a magnificent occurrence for the sheer fact that it was miniature. One small act had led to a great change—and I would never be the same again.

I pulled my robe on and lifted the doe mask from the ground. With the antlers in my palms, I held it delicately, letting my thumbs roam over the eye holes as I studied the antlers with the tips of my fingers. "A performance," I repeated. "But it's still for us, right?"

Hector clasped his hands over mine. "It's a performance, but you don't have to be anyone other than yourself."

I looked up at him then, seeing the way the moonlight dripped over his features and enhanced the blue-violet in his eyes. They reminded me of the ocean at midnight. They reminded me of lounging on the sand in the dark with my feet in the cool water. They were like glass bulbs made from deified hands.

And then, out of nowhere, nostalgia hit me. His eyes made me miss the sea. They made me long for the sound of the ocean, the waves crashing against the shore, the way the water was coarse against my skin whenever I went for a morning dip with Kylie. I wanted so much to go back to that, to return to the familiar routine that I had made without the Silverfang Creek. I didn't need them anymore. I could take care of myself now.

But I knew my life was changing right now, so much more than I could think, so much more than I could comprehend. I couldn't change the past. I just had to move forward and hope that the future would be better. My distracting thoughts faded away as I concentrated back on Hector and his hands over mine. He guided the mask to my face and helped me fix it over my head. Then, he took my hand and led me toward the encampment, the firelight.

"We must show them that we have succeeded," he said. "Don't worry about shifting. That's all on me."

"And then what?"

He smirked. "Then, we celebrate."

Just before we reached the edge of the forest, he shifted back into his wolf form. I rested my hand on the back of his neck, walking calmly next to him toward the crowd that had gathered to wait for our return. Their faces lit up. The firelight of their torches illuminated their smiles. Some of them were crying silent tears as a bonfire hosted a slew of kebabs.

I stopped near the audience with my hand planted on Hector's neck. I stared at them, these people who had chosen to turn their backs on me so long ago. I felt the blankness on my face, the stoic resolve of a woman who wasn't too keen on trusting.

He shifted back into his human form and raised my hand with his into the air. "I've caught my mate!"

The crowd exploded with rapturous applause.

The women who helped me earlier gathered around me, reaching out to hold my hands and guide me to the dinner tables that were set up with white cloths and green leaves. Hector and I were seated together. The women tended to my feet and my hands, ensuring that I was cleaned up from the romp through the forest. My face heated up as I recalled why I was messy, and what I knew might come again later.

Me, him, me again . I studied the figures gathering around the fire to collect the kebabs and other delicious morsels. I'm still worried about the other shoe dropping .

When I finally removed my doe mask, the cheers around us intensified. My heart skipped a beat as the women finished pampering me. After they left, I turned to see Hector getting much of the same treatment from his group of men. I watched him joke with his friends, hold eye contact, nod every so often. He demanded a certain respect with his gaze alone, crystallized eyes sweeping in my direction whenever the ritual was referenced.

He looked happy.

The doe mask was planted in the middle of the table, embedded in green leaves. Sticks were piled around the doe mask like kindling. I half-expected them to light it on fire, but then they left it as it was like a beautiful centerpiece dashed with a few roses that I presumed Rhiannon had brought from her garden.

Daria came up to congratulate us on our successful mating. People spoke so quickly, so fast and excitedly, that it was hard to keep up with any conversation. I felt like I was being bounced from one person to another, yet I hadn't left my chair at all. As soon as my stomach rumbled, a plate of food appeared in front of me. When I felt overwhelmed, Hector took my hand. When I needed quiet, the crowd parted to allow me room to myself to recover.

I didn't understand this connection that I had suddenly formed with the people around me. They were all so receptive to my needs without me having to say a word. This was completely unheard of, especially in my previous pack. Communication was so important between people. And I learned how to manage my relationships by speaking up for myself.

But here, right now, that wasn't necessary. I turned to Hector, too curious about this new experience but completely unable to put it into words. He squeezed my hand as he looked at me as if to say he was baffled as well, or maybe he was just trying to offer a sense of comfort to what was going on. Everything felt so chaotic, like it was exploding all at once. And at the same time, it felt like there were pieces falling into places that I didn't know existed.

Above our heads, the sky swarmed with gray clouds. It blotted out the moonlight, enhancing the darkness the shrouded us. Hector wrapped a protective arm around my shoulders as he leaned into my side.

I leaned forward while setting my drink aside. "Demons."

Hector scanned the area. "They're not attacking. Yet."

"What do we do?"

A couple of sparks erupted above like miniature fireworks. Glittering pearls rained from what appeared to be a sphere that appeared with just the right angle of light.

Hector sighed. "That won't hold for very long."

"How long do we have?"

"Another month. Maybe." He focused on me. "Do you think you could fix that for us?"

I felt stunned by his question. "You want my help."

"Megara doesn't want to come back." He rolled his shoulder casually but looked up at the sphere around the party with a less-than-casual expression. "I think she's jealous I mated with you."

I shook my head. "I don't care who that is," I lied, "or why she's jealous," I continued to lie, "and I don't know what else I can do," I lied again.

I was just made of lies tonight.

"I trust your power," he said. "You can try tomorrow. We're not in danger right now."

A hollow screech echoed distantly. My eyes shot to the forest, the very same that was guarded by a giant wall. How eerie it was to know that danger lurked beyond such thin veils. He was right—the barrier wouldn't last more than a month longer. That meant I had to hit the books.

I noticed my parents across the party, the way that they hovered as if they wanted to approach. My brother stood next to them, acting as some kind of diplomat to the situation. My heart raced as I watched them approach. I felt like I was about to get another lashing about the way I ran, how maybe I was too fat to outrun my mate, or I was too slow, or I didn't exercise enough.

Anxiety gripped me. Then I felt my strength double. I puffed up my chest, ready to defend myself with my mate this time. I was ready to give them all a piece of my mind and prove to them once and for all that I was more than just a blob of fat. I was a woman with feelings and a good heart.

But I didn't have to do any of that.

For the first time in several years, my mother took my hand and held it gently in hers. She didn't squeeze my knuckles like she used to whenever I was in trouble. She didn't try to dig her thumbnail into my palm as a quiet way to tell me to shut up in public places. She just held my hand. She just looked down at me, tears in the edges of her eyes, holding a flute of champagne, holding her breath.

She mumbled incoherently, choked, and then sniffled.

I leaned toward her and said, "What?"

She took a shaky breath, knelt, and held her glass out to me. "Welcome home."

My throat clenched up. I felt like I was trying to swallow a mouthful of cotton for a second. All I could do was clutch her hand. I felt Cliff touch my shoulder, and then I felt Hector touch my upper back. My father awkwardly shuffled close by, seeming like he didn't know where he belonged.

You belong here , I thought.

I extended my free hand to him to take it. And that was when everything clicked right into place. And I realized that I never wanted to lose this feeling ever.

Never again.