Chapter 1 - Hector

The night sky gaped wide above me as I bowed my head toward the steaming hot cauldron. Though my eyes were closed, and everything stood still, time included, I could sense my pack brothers around me. I could sense my alpha—or who would soon be my previous alpha. I could sense the old witch and her patchouli musk, her feet stamping hard on the dirt as she trampled around the cauldron singing in Latin.

Those words were unknown to me. Latin wasn't something important to learn, so it was foreign to my ears, though I picked up some words here and there that stood out from my time in school. Remorse and choice caught my attention. Nothing else seemed to exist other than those words.

Remorse.

Choice.

Remorse.

What was I supposed to do? She was a freak, and nobody liked her.

I breathed deep through a thread of regret. Except for me…

I blinked away the thought, trying not to remember what I had written on that piece of parchment for the fire. Megara didn't even read it before she tossed it into the flames. That sneaky witch was far more distracted by my body than what she was doing. All night, she had been casting me glances like I was supposed to return them.

And for what other reason than sex? If I wasn't proclaimed to be the next alpha by the time this ritual was over, then she would likely approach me. And I would likely turn her down. As much as my body wanted a physical release, I wasn't interested in her—or any other woman for that matter.

Right now, the only woman on my mind was written on that piece of parchment paper that smoldered inside the flames beneath the cauldron.

How is this even supposed to work?

My brows knotted together as my knees began to ache. With my forehead pressed to the cool earth and my hands planted flat to the ground, I felt exposed to the wilderness, to the great sky and all the dangers it might bring. Gusts of wind tickled my bare flesh, my shoulders in particular, reminding me that nature was unpredictable. Anything could happen right now. Even the most undesirable things.

Adrian insisted on this ritual to get the pack into younger hands, capable hands. Demons were starting to make bold moves on various packs up the east coast. Ours was just as much subject to those invasive creatures as any. Naming the next alpha ensured our progression, our protection, our strength .

The invisible rhythm coaxed my heart to beat along with it. To the stamping of Megara's feet, to the crackling of the flames, to the wicked creaking of the tree branches at the mercy of the increasing wind. Whispers slithered through the trees. I could hear the taunting jeers of the demons that dared to lurk beyond the protective field.

"You'll never find peace…"

My snarl echoed between the ground and my face, casting aside in wide rings from my threatening growls. Their taunts would never stop us from doing this ritual. But it sure as hell was distracting.

To my right was Cliff, who said, "Don't listen to them. They're just trying to distract you."

And to my left was Dawson who asked, "What if they try to possess us?"

Beside him were Rodney and Bentley, one of whom snapped, "Would you just hush it, dude?"

Our bowed bodies made a circle around the cauldron, around Megara, around Adrian, who had chosen to perform this ritual before his age caught up with him. Most alphas would have fought to their death bed to remain alpha. It was their birthright in many cases, or something won through a valiant fight-to-the-death.

But Adrian wasn't like most of his generation. Though there were some outdated things about his leadership style, he was steadfast about ensuring the right of passage for the next alpha while he was still alive and could witness history in action. He wanted change as much as anybody. He wanted protection from those monsters trying to get into our pack.

He just needed someone with better years ahead to do it.

I heard his guttural growl resonate in his throat, then, "Those leeches won't know what hit ‘em when we get the right leader."

You are the right leader, Adrian .

"I won't last long in a demon fight," he murmured, "but these guys? They'll slay anything within one-hundred feet of this place."

Megara stopped chanting. The snapping flames consumed the silence. Liquid bubbled violently in the pot, a mixture of water and something that reminded me of vetiver and olive oil. The scent snaked around my nostrils and invaded my senses. It was all I could think about as I became weightless, as my perception warped, as the trees halted their haunted creaking.

Lightning webbed my vision. Through the darkness came the dark memory that I regretted most, the very same written on that parchment paper with the name I didn't want to think about.

Remorse.

Choice .

Another broken web of glowing white lightning threaded through the inky black, revealing a scene I had thought about too many times since it happened. What kind of leader would I be with that hanging over my head? Would I be strong enough to fight off a hoard of demons if they had an inkling of an idea of the crappy things I'd done?

"We cast our remorse into the fire," Megara stated firmly, "so we may cleanse ourselves for the future."

What happened to you after that day, Faye?

The truth was that I didn't know how to talk about it. I didn't know how to make up for it. For all I knew, that woman had disappeared into the supernatural underground and refused to ever surface. She could be married to someone by now—mated.

She could be dead.

My heart rattled. Another thunderous beat resumed the flow of blood in my body. It forced my head to lift from the ground, the rest of my limbs remaining fixed to the solid earth. The unknown force cradled my head, unwound my brows, caressed me like a lost lover.

"Hector Shaw."

Megara stood in front of me with a parchment paper fully intact between her fingers. She wielded it like a throwing dagger, poised like she was ready to fling it at my forehead. Short pink hair spiked around her forehead and framed her ears, intensifying the olive green of her eyes that stood out from her clay-tan skin.

The smirk she wore felt too amused for such a serious ceremony. Well, it wasn't like I had met many serious witches in my time.

Faye hadn't been serious. That was why she fell for me.

When Megara squinted, I felt the full weight of her judgment. She didn't seem so entertained now, especially not when she tilted her nose to the sky. She stared down her sloped bridge where I still knelt on the ground.

"Rise and meet your remorse," she stated in a hoarse voice. "Tell me, Hector, what would you do to right this wrong?"

I carefully shifted my weight to my feet and used my hands to help myself up. Blood rushed to my brain and made me dizzy for a split second, causing my vision to split into three. I reached for the paper and plucked it with a smidge of aggravation from her fingers. When I unfolded the parchment, all I could see was my name written in fine script letters and black ink.

Megara grinned mischievously. "Well?"

Avoiding her gaze, I refolded the paper and tucked it into my palm. "I promise never to mislead any of my pack."

Adrian came into view, his features etched like worn leather and his smile holding a promise as well—that he would support me during this time. He bowed deep with his arm folded over his stomach as the others got to their feet to do the same.

"Long live the alpha!" Adrian bellowed.

The others followed along with pride, " Long live the pack! "

Though the cheers that erupted around me were joyful, I didn't feel any sense of accomplishment in my heart. All I could think about was Faye—that woman with blonde hair and hazel-brown eyes, hips for days, a round face, and a rotten frown. I could see her disappointment as clearly as I saw the orange and yellow flames lick the charcoal cauldron. I saw her betrayal. I saw the way she fought against her tears as she ran off.

A public rejection was enough to send anyone heading for the hills. But for Faye, it was more than just a fake proposal performed in front of our pack.

It was exile. It was social death. It was a public execution of the worst sort.

Adrian had chided me back then, giving me no more than a slap on the wrist. For him, it didn't much matter whether Faye was truly part of the pack. Her parents had already rejected her. Most of the others had done the same. And even then, even when everyone showed little to no care for the girl, they often whispered how I would be the one to become her mate.

A swift clap on my upper back smacked me right back into the present. Cliff was shaking my shoulders while Rodney and Bentley were howling at the sky, their canines descending purposefully as their shifts slowly began. Dawson paced on the other side of the cauldron, eyes heated by the flames and illuminating his disappointment.

Maybe next time .

Adrian caught my shoulder, wearing a tired yet pleased smile. His build was boxier than mine, thick and worn from many years spent running this entire pack—to war and back. "You make me proud, son."

Tears stung my eyes. I refused to allow them passage, choosing to lock them in my throat with the knot that formed there. "Thank you, sir."

"If your parents were here—"

"Well, they're not, right?" I snapped.

Cliff noticed the change in my tone while the others remained ignorant.

I swallowed the knot, reducing it by a mere fraction of its original size. "I'm sorry, sir. You know I only have my aunt."

"Gerta will be proud when she hears the horns announce your leadership tomorrow."

"Nothing could impress that old bat."

Adrian chuckled knowingly. "At least the easy part is over."

I eyed the cauldron, the circle of dirt, the fact that none of us, save for Megara, were wearing clothes in the chill of West Virginia weather. "Oh?"

"Your first task as alpha will be to find a mate."

It felt like a stack of bricks fell on my head. "You must be joking."

"I'm afraid that's your most important task, son. You'll need a mate bond not only to strengthen your body but to steel your mind." His wise eyes searched the trees. The branches were quiet—for now. "You need to prepare yourself for war."

I heard the subtlest rustle, and then a sinister chuckle, and then nature came back in full force, crickets and all.

I inspected the darkness for those pesky demons. "I don't know anyone."

Adrian grinned. "I have a list of eligible bachelorettes who would love nothing more than to…"

But I didn't hear another word he said. My mind refused to focus on anything happening in the present. It was stuck in the past, stuck on that moment when I stared into Faye's shimmering marble eyes and lied to her.

I told her I didn't love her.

And that just wasn't true.

***

" Man , that was something. Right, dude?"

Cliff whacked my upper back again, sending me stumbling toward the stove. I rubbed the back of my neck and ignored his sudden burst of strength. "Somebody is high on his wolf."

He stuffed his face with a few chocolate cookies. "I'm just so stoked for you."

"Pig."

Oinks erupted behind me, causing me to smile as I prepared two cups of tea. Well, he probably wanted hot chocolate. The damn guy was a dumpster that could eat just about anything. I watched him eat a half-gone sub once and not even so much as belch a rotten note. That stomach he had was a tank. My questionable leftovers usually went to him.

I sighed. "Did you see that list?"

"Yeah, wow . Stacy is on there, and uh—" He made a few clicking sounds with his tongue. "—Miranda Berkley. Phew. The rack on her could feed a dozen babies."

"I see my previous comment is still accurate."

He laughed. "Come on, man. You have like a whole pack of women to choose from. There's like twenty women here. You could get laid every week if you wanted."

"That's not what I want."

"So, why did you take the list?"

I kept staring at the electric kettle as it heated up. "I didn't want to disappoint Alpha—I mean, Adrian ."

"Teacher's pet."

I whirled around, chucking the first thing I could grab at him, which just so happened to be a plastic spoon. He smacked it out of the air, sending it skittering across the tile, and then he chuckled like nothing could ever offend him. That was Cliff. That was my best friend. The easy-going guy with the brilliant smile and the goofy personality.

He was such a frickin' animal.

"I don't want to date those women," I complained, then turned back to the electric kettle so I could pour the hot water into two mugs. " They lack substance."

"How do you know that?"

I quietly added tea bags to both mugs, lavender and chamomile. It made me think of her again—which was fitting considering the topic of conversation. After sighing again, I poured some honey into my mug and carried both to the table. "Because."

"Because?"

"Because I just know."

He nodded slowly, lifted his mug, and then blew steam from the surface. "This is about Faye, isn't it?"

His tone had changed entirely. Gone was the goof. Here was the guy who would see me through thick and thin. He was the opposite of Faye in every way.

I hung my head. "I don't want to talk about your sister."

"You're the one who chased off my sister. I know that's what you wrote on that paper."

Tense energy crackled like thick waves of radio static in the air. I shrugged my left shoulder and lifted my mug as if what he'd said had no effect on me. "And what did you write?"

"My biggest regret was letting you play a prank on her at all."

I sipped my tea, the hot liquid stinging my tongue much more than I anticipated. He was right about that. He was usually right about a lot of things.

Not that I would dare admit it.

"She chose to run," I retorted, "if I remember correctly."

"And if I remember correctly, she left everything behind when she ran off. That meant she was in a hurry."

I snorted. "You would know. She's your sister, duh."

"Don't give me an attitude for your mistake. You really think you can spend a whole childhood bullying her and then get away with reputational murder?"

I slammed my mug down. "You let it happen. You encouraged it to happen."

"I was a stupid kid."

"So was I!"

An ethereal silence fell over the kitchen that made my skin crawl. This was stupid. I didn't understand why I had to be hung up on some dorky chick from the past when I had an entire list of eligible mates right in front of me. My own best friend had said so. And he was usually right.

I glared at my tea, hot droplets turning cold on the back of my hand as I swept my fingers through the mess I had made. "How do I fix it?"

"I mean, you could start with an apology."

"Then?"

He shrugged, cradling his mug in his right hand. "Uh, tell her that I miss her? I don't know, dude. I'm not good at this kind of thing."

"You're the peacekeeper."

"Much fucking good that did when my parents didn't send out a search team to find their only daughter."

I shook my head. "Talk about bullies."

"You don't know the half of it."

"Do you think she would want to be my mate?"

Saliva and tea spattered the table. I avoided looking at Cliff, knowing that his chin was probably dripping with tea as his mouth hung open in shock.

We never talked about Faye. And there was good reason for that.

…Other than the bullying.

"You're high," Cliff said, a partial laugh of surprise escaping him for a second. "I don't think anyone who got fake proposed to and then turned into a laughingstock would ever be able to come back from that."

"You said to start with an apology."

He nodded with his eyebrows raised high. "Yeah, dude. To start . I haven't heard from her in years. I didn't think the blowback would be that bad from a fake date, but a proposal, dude? You really shot yourself in the foot with that one."

"I just liked her."

"You had a funny way of showing it."

I gave an exasperated sigh. "Things were different back then."

"Things are different now, Hector."

"I know!" I crossed my arms over my chest. " I know . I want to change everything. I want to protect the pack from demons. I don't think I can…"

I closed my eyes. I don't think I can live without her.

It probably sounded stupid coming from the guy who set her up to be publicly humiliated. All for a joke.

A stupid, useless joke.

Cliff sighed and gestured vaguely toward me. "I guess you have to go find her and tell her that."

"And you're okay with me taking your sister as a mate?"

"Yeah, dude. Everyone thought you two would end up together, so I got used to that idea a long time ago." He rubbed his elbow. "Besides, I want my sister back. I miss her."

"What about your parents?"

"One thing at a time, man. I can only think about so many things."

I reached out to tousle his hair. "That's because you have an empty head."

He swatted my hand away, dodging left. "Cut it out, Man. You're such a damn kid sometimes."

"You're the goofball. Are you saying I can't be goofy?"

"I'm saying to cut it out ."

I managed to rustle his hair once more and then went to the counter to grab a towel so I could clean up the mess I had made with tea. Well, at least one mess was easy to clean up.

Now, I had to figure out how to clean up the other one.