Chapter 13 - Evan

The mating bond isn't supposed to be like this.

It's supposed to make a shifter's life complete, and yet, mine feels anything but.

I'm confused. I'm frustrated. And I'm fucking angry. But there's another emotion that's creeping up the longer I think about it. It's taking over, and I don't want to admit it, but I can't stop myself from feeling it. It's guilt. Guilt for trapping her. Guilt for locking her in my room. And guilt for the way she looked at me after we returned from the lake.

Her eyes were wide, and her mouth was hanging open. I swear she looked like she wanted to strangle me. And if the roles were reversed, I probably would've felt the same. She had no idea what was happening, and I did. I knew what would happen, and I should've told her sooner.

But she seemed to be enjoying herself. Scratch that—she seemed to love every second of it as it was happening. She was begging for it. Literally.

Fuck.

That was the most incredible, mind-blowing, and earth-shattering sex I've ever had, and that's saying something because it was her first time. I didn't think it was possible to come that hard, and if the circumstances had been different, I probably would've spent the entire night worshipping her body.

The image of her lying underneath me, moaning my name, and the memory of how good it felt when her tight little pussy was milking my cock has me wanting a repeat performance. Instead, I'm here, pacing in my own front yard, listening to her screams of rage and pleas to be set free. She's not going anywhere, though. It's not safe, and even if it was, it's too late. The mating bond has been established. There's no going back.

She's my wife. My mate. She belongs to me.

Even so, she stirs up emotions in me that I haven't felt before. Emotions that make me doubt myself and my decisions. I've never had the urge to commit to one she-wolf before in my life. It's not that I have a traumatic history with relationships; I'm just an alpha, and with that comes certain privileges I have always very much enjoyed.

The thought makes me laugh.

There's no doubt I've had my fair share of sexual conquests. I'm not the type to boast, but my reputation as a ladies' man was well-earned. My father was the same way, and he would tell me stories about his younger days. About the women he met, the things they did together. Probably more information than a father ought to share with his son, but he wanted me to know that being an alpha has certain advantages. I think he thought it might lessen the burden of the position.

I'm still not sure if it was meant to be a motivator or a warning, but either way, I've enjoyed the freedom and the ability to pick and choose the women I liked to spend my time with. There was no commitment, no strings attached, and no emotional ties. At least, not until Mia came along.

This was supposed to be a means to an end. A way to end this wretched curse and get my pack back on track. She was never supposed to become a distraction. I never imagined it would be like this.

My wolf growls, and the urge to mate hits me again. The urge to claim her, to mark her. To make her mine in every sense of the word.

But not like this.

She hates me. She thinks I'm a monster. And maybe I am. Maybe it's not her who needs to accept her new life; maybe it's me. I've always had a reputation for being tough and unfeeling. Some would call me heartless. And I was okay with that because I've always done what I had to do to protect the Green Lake Pack. But for some reason, the thought of her looking at me in that same light hurts more than I can describe.

I have to put some distance between us. I've accomplished what needed to be done to stave off the curse, and now I need to focus on the future. On making my pack stronger. And right now, that means doing whatever it takes to keep her from running. That pack would not take lightly to their luna abandoning them, and it's high time she understood that.

I need to be the alpha, not her mate.

I head back into the house, and the first thing I notice is that the yelling has stopped. There's silence, which either means she's cried herself to sleep or...

Fuck.

I walk quickly to my bedroom and find the door wide open, and no sign of her. The wire hanger uncoiled and thrown on the floor.

I should've known better. She's smarter than I thought, and I can't blame her for wanting to get the hell out of here. But for her own safety, I can't let her leave. She doesn't understand what she's dealing with.

There's no way she made it outside. I was right by the front door the whole time, and if she tried to sneak out, I would've heard her. I run through the cabin, opening doors, searching the closets, and calling her name, and when she doesn't answer, I rush outside and check the perimeter.

That's when I hear it. A soft whimper and a string of uneven breaths.

"Mia? Where are you?"

The sound comes from a few feet away, and when I follow it, I find her lying on the ground next to a half-open window that I somehow missed when I was searching inside the house. Her face is red, and she's shaking with her knees drawn to her chest, rocking back and forth. She's hyperventilating, and tears are streaming down her face.

"Mia, talk to me," I say, kneeling beside her.

"Can't breathe," she cries. "Need fresh air."

"You're having a panic attack. Breathe, sweetheart. Just breathe. In and out. You're okay. I'm right here."

I rub her back and her arms, trying to soothe her and bring her down as I guide her breathing. When she's finally able to calm herself, she looks at me, and her eyes are bloodshot and filled with pain and sadness. It guts me, and the guilt of hurting her is almost too much.

"You have got to stop locking me in there," she begs. "I'm clau... I can't handle being trapped like that."

"I wish I didn't have to," I say. "But I can't trust you not to run away, Mia. And my pack is already unhappy that their new luna is from Stardust Hollow. If you ran, they'd come after you, and they'd love nothing more right now than a reason to hunt you down."

"I don't understand."

"If they found you running, they'd kill you, Mia." I hate putting it so bluntly, but she's leaving me little choice. She has to understand that she can't leave. Ever.

"What do you mean, 'kill me?'"

"They'd tear you apart. They'd make sure you couldn't hurt their alpha ever again. If they found you trying to run away, they would have no mercy. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes."

"I know it's not fair, Mia. But it's just the way things are. You'll be fine as long as you stay here."

"Fine," she relents through gritted teeth. "I won't run, but please, no more locked doors. You don't have to lock me up like a prisoner, Evan. I'm your wife. I'm your mate. And that means something, right? If you can't trust me, how will we ever be able to live a normal life together?"

I look into her eyes, and all I see is pain.

"Okay," I agree. "No more locked doors."

"Promise me."

"I promise, Mia."

I help her stand up, and when I start in the direction of the cabin, she holds firm. "And if I'm to stay here, I have two more demands."

"Are you kidding me?" The corner of my mouth quirks up. This girl has gumption, I'll give her that.

"I'm serious." She squares her shoulders, looking like she's ready to take me on. "First, you will never kidnap another wolf from Stardust Hollow ever again. My people are off limits. Is that clear?"

"I have no reason to kidnap anyone else, Mia."

"Good. Make sure it stays that way. Second, I want to go back to the orphanage. The one Shawna brought me to the day I arrived. I want to help out. If I'm going to be stuck here, I need a purpose. I need something to keep me busy, or I'm going to go crazy. Please."

What a strange thing to ask for. She wants a job? I'm not opposed to the idea, and I have no objection to her helping out at the orphanage. It's just... odd. Most of the females here are content to do nothing but lounge around and eat the food provided by the males of the pack.

But I'm not that surprised Mia wants to work. She's not like any female I've ever known.

"All right, fine. I don't see any harm in it, but the only way you'll get there is with an escort. No exceptions. If I allow you to leave, it's under the condition that you're with me or a trusted guard. Not because you're a prisoner, but because you're royalty now. It's expected."

"Thank you."

"Let's get inside," I tell her. "You've had enough excitement for one day."

"I couldn't agree more."