Chapter 18

Sophia Hope

There has never been a man more deluded than Alex Stone.

Carrying two bags of groceries in my hands, I stomp my feet on the ground as I make my way toward Rita's house.

The nerve of him! How dare he? Who does he think he is, trying to interfere in my life? I have half a mind to pummel that gorgeous face of his into the ground.

I woke up to the black wolf curled around me—and my bed broken.

I don't know when it broke, and I don't know when he carried me there, or when he decided it would be a good idea to climb into the bed with me, but right now, he's nursing a good headache from the way I screamed into his ear.

It's chilly out today. I wish I'd had the presence of mind to bring my jacket, but I was so desperate to get out of the apartment that I only grabbed my wallet and keys.

I cannot understand this man. He says one thing, and he does another. If he's adamant about staying at my place while he recovers, he should have the decency not to make it difficult on me. But he can't seem to understand what boundaries are.

He broke my fucking bed! Does he have any idea how much beds cost? I was lucky to find that one secondhand! He'd better be ready to fork up the money for a new one.

My arms are aching as I carry the shopping bags up the lane. The anger stirring inside me is not exclusively due to what happened this morning. It's about the events of last night. I found out Alex's plan, and now knowing he's looking for the Silver Wolf, I knew I had to be careful. I couldn't tell him the Wily Vixen isn't the person he's looking for; I would have had to give up my secret identity. And I don't trust him enough to do that.

Trust is a rare commodity.

I was so careful, waiting till everybody had left the arena before I made my escape. I was certain Patrick and his companions would have tired of waiting for me. But no. They chased me down, massive wolves gaining on me, their teeth flashing as if eager to bite me.

It was bad enough that the fighter I had faced in the cage had been a strong opponent. I am almost certain she was a shifter. Even when I used all my strength, she beat me up so badly that I lost the match. Mathew was pissed at me. He lost a lot of money, and I didn't get paid.

If those bruises weren't enough, Alex's cronies made everything worse by chasing me when I was in such horrible condition. I ended up falling multiple times and hurting my arm. I had to break into the healer's office and steal some of her potions. I was that desperate. And then, Alex had the nerve to look at me all innocent-like and ask who did this to me.

I wanted to scream at him that it was his fault. That his friends did this to me.

I've lost count of how many healing potions I've consumed since last night. The majority of my bruises have disappeared, but I can still feel the rawness inside me. I don't look so hot, either.

If it weren't for my promise to Rita, I would just be hiding out somewhere today. Both my arms feel like they're made of stone.

I see Buster napping by the entrance to Rita's cottage, and when I get closer, I see that he's not alone. Rita, for a change, is also sitting outside, enjoying the little bit of sunshine that there is today.

She looks at me, her lips curving, but the smile disappears when she sees the state I'm in.

"My dear!"

She starts to struggle to her feet, but I shake my head. "I'll put this stuff inside."

She sits back down heavily, her gaze fixed on me. "What happened?"

There's no hiding my bruised eye. "I fell."

"On somebody's fist?" Her voice is dark.

I don't answer her, heading to the kitchen to set everything on the counter. There's no point in putting the groceries away because she'll want to do it herself. Pouring myself a glass of water, I slowly walk back out to where Rita is sitting and take the empty chair next to her.

"I was in a fight."

"With whom?"

"I'd rather not say." I shrug one shoulder and take a sip of my water.

Rita gives me a tense look, and she suddenly says, "I know you're seeing Noah Black. Please tell me he isn't the one who did this to you."

My brows furrow. This is the second time someone has implied that Noah is capable of doing something like this. What is going on? Am I missing something about him? I try to remember all of my interactions with Noah and whatever I've witnessed of him with other people, and I cannot pinpoint any situation where he displayed any such violence. Except for what he did to Alex the other night…

"Why would you think Noah had something to do with this?" I ask warily, eyeing Rita.

She swallows and doesn't answer immediately. It's almost as if she is taking time to come up with a response. Finally, she says, "I'm not saying he's the type to do this, but I'm just worried about you. If it wasn't Noah, was it your fated mate?"

Alex? "No." I open my mouth again and then snap it shut.

I can't help but recall the dogged stubbornness with which he followed me from room to room last night, demanding to patch me up and wanting to go deal with whoever was responsible.

Even if I don't trust Alex, I know for a fact that he would never willingly hurt me. It's just a sense of knowing, deep inside. My wolf trusts him. My beast thinks Alex would make a good mate. It's my human side that refuses to trust anything to do with him.

"It wasn't him," I add, rubbing my hands over my face—a sign of frustration—and accidentally poking my injured eye. Hissing and cursing under my breath, I bend forward in the chair.

I feel Rita's hand on my back. "What is going on, Sophia?"

I wet my lips, knowing that if I don't tell her something, she's going to have Elsa drag it out of me. It is best that I put this matter to bed now.

"It's embarrassing," I begin. "I got drunk last night, and I went and picked a fight with some strangers. They must have been shifters, because no human would have been able to land a punch in my eye. I don't know who it was. I don't remember their faces. I just felt super embarrassed when I woke up this morning."

Sometimes it startles me how good a liar I am.

I glance over to see if she is buying it, and after a moment of silence, she smacks her hand on my shoulder. "You need to stop with the alcohol. Elsa told me you've been drinking a lot lately."

I roll my eyes inwardly. Drinking a lot, my ass. I took a few shots in the bar the other night, and suddenly I'm an alcoholic in Elsa's eyes.

"Yeah. You're right," I mutter.

"Have you taken anything for that eye?" Rita asks, concern evident in her voice.

If I were to say yes, she wouldn't believe me. I am wearing a long-sleeve sweater and a pair of leggings, so she can't see the discolored skin that's left on the rest of my body after consuming all those healing potions. All she can see is the black eye.

She takes my silence as a negative and nudges me. "Go into my bedroom. I have a healing potion on the bedside table. I can see that your eye is hurting. It will help."

I don't know if using so many potions is a good idea, but I'm in no position to deny what is clearly an order. I get up and walk slowly, like an old woman, toward the bedroom at the other end of the cottage. There is nothing on the bedside table, but when I open its drawer, I see three vials. Next to them is a black cell phone that catches my eye.

I pick up the phone. I've never seen it before. I remember that when Rita arrived here, the first time we met, she was trying to buy a cell phone. I helped her get a purple flip phone at the local supermarket. To my knowledge, she is still using it. So, where did this one come from?

Before I can think any further, the phone vibrates. The screen comes to life, and a text message pops up.

"Have you managed to find out the identity yet?"

Identity? Whose identity?

I glance toward the doorway. Is Rita still working? I'm pretty sure she is retired, a pack elder now.

I hear her voice call out my name, and I quickly put the phone back. Taking one of the vials, I close the drawer before making my way outside again. I ponder whether I should ask her about the black phone. Is it really any of my business?

"Oh, you found it!" Rita beams at me. "That's a strong one. It should work its magic within an hour."

I hesitate, but the way she's watching me like a hawk, I really have no choice but to take the potion right now. I toss the liquid down my throat, feeling the warmth hit my system almost immediately. It tastes different from the other healing potions that I use: incredibly bitter. I give Rita a questioning look as I sit down, trying not to throw up at the same time, and she gives me a sly smile. "You won't find that at the healer's office. It's much more potent."

Alarm hits me like a ton of bricks. Should I really have taken such a powerful potion after consuming so many others overnight? There is such a thing as too many healing potions. An overdose can cause a breakdown in the nervous system.

I'm getting to my feet when Rita, still feeling social, pulls me back down. "So, how goes it with your love life? Considering you're letting Noah court you, I assume you've chosen to reject your fated mate?"

Not this topic again. Why is everyone so invested in my business? I just shrug, choosing not to answer.

"So, who is it?" Rita leans forward, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. "Who is the mystery man that fate handpicked for you?"

For a moment, I feel there's a hint of mocking in her tone. But when I look at her, her eyes seem to be sincere. Did I imagine it?

"It's not important." I shake my head. "Fate got this one wrong. He and I are incompatible."

I think back to the way Alex was wrapped around me when I woke up this morning, so warm and soft. I've never slept snuggled against a wolf before, but I don't think his fur was the source of my comfort. It was his presence. It gave me a sense of safety.

Deny it as I may, the real reason I didn't fight harder to kick Alex out of my apartment is because I didn't want him to leave.

My pride is hurt at his rejection. I understand his reasons, but it doesn't hurt any less. And he's not helping the situation by showing me constant concern. It's like a knife being thrust into my chest. I want to hate him so desperately, but ever since he told me his rationale, and after overhearing the conversation between him and Patrick, I can't summon the kind of hatred that would help me move past him.

His motives are noble and self-sacrificing, and they shouldn't upset me this much. Children are involved; their lives are at stake. I know my anger and resentment stem from a place of loneliness. I also know that there is a certain amount of self- loathing within me. If I were able to shift forms, Alex might not have been forced to reject me.

I've managed to build up my self-esteem over the years, but the first time I saw Julia with Alex, it came crashing down.

I'm simply not good enough. I'm simply not wolf enough.

Rita must have seen the tears in my eyes because she puts her hand on my knee, her voice distressed. "Sophia?"

I try to speak, but I don't trust myself to say anything. It feels like somebody's squeezing my heart so tight that I can barely draw in air. I get to my feet, stumbling a bit.

"I should go. I have to leave."

"Sophia!" Rita calls out after me, but I don't stop.

I hurry off with no destination in mind. I don't want to go back to my apartment. I don't want to have to look Alex in the eye and feel so small inside. All those words I used to say to myself about being enough sound false to my ears now. If I were enough, my fated mate would be standing by my side.

My steps are heavy as I make my way toward the beach, my only sanctuary. It should be empty at this time of day.

As I walk on the sand, the waves crashing against the shore, I let myself breathe. Cool, desperate gulps of air. My hair is whipping around me with the force of the wind, but I don't even flinch. For a moment, I stand still, staring at the wild, turbulent sea, as it reflects the turmoil within me.

A disadvantage. That was how Patrick referred to me. "With all the disadvantages our pack already has, I don't think we need another one," he said.

Is that how Alex sees me, too? He denied it in front of his friend, but maybe the truth is that he does see me as a burden that he doesn't want to take on.

My feet are moving in the direction of the water. I wish I could let the waves take me away. I wish I could hide under their depths.

My lower body is completely submerged in the water at this point, but I don't feel the cold. In fact, it feels warm, welcoming.

I stare blankly at the horizon as the force of the current tries to sweep me away with it. My feet, however, are rooted to the ocean floor as my mind wanders.

I can't change who I am.

I can't change my situation; that's not in my power. But perhaps I can be helpful to Alex by finding the Silver Wolf for him. It won't change his mind about me, but it will save his pack.

Has he ever truly been cruel to me? I don't think so. I've been the one sniping at him all this time, but that's always come from a place of hurt. If I can bury my emotions and help him, he'll be able to save his pack, and maybe I'll find my freedom.

I don't think I want to be with Noah. So many people have a negative view of him; there must be something I'm not seeing. And besides, what if Noah, too, ultimately decides that I'm not good enough to stand by his side? I don't want to be tossed away again. I always knew romance wasn't in the cards for me, and that's why I never dreamed of it. I should've stuck to my guns and not led him on.

I hear somebody calling my name, and it snaps me out of my slightly dazed state. Looking over my shoulder, I see a familiar figure approaching me, running at full speed.

It's Noah. I can see the fear in his eyes as he shifts in midair and races toward me.

For a moment, I don't comprehend what's happening, but when a particularly strong wave makes me stagger, I realize what it must look like to Noah. I barely manage to take a few steps in his direction when he's already upon me. Growling, he nudges me toward the shoreline. I don't argue with him.

As soon as I am clear of the water, he shifts back, and then he seizes me by my upper arms, snarling. "What the hell, Sophia? What were you trying to do?"

"Nothing!" I've never seen him this furious. My body freezes at the rage in his eyes. "I was just enjoying the water."

His eyes search mine as if he is trying to ascertain whether I'm telling the truth or not. Finally, I see relief flood his face, and he lets out a shuddering breath, lowering his head to rest it on my shoulder. "You scared the shit out of me. I thought for sure…"

He trails off, not finishing his sentence, as if the mere thought is too much for him to bear. I feel guilty. "I wasn't going to drown myself, Noah. Things have just seemed so suffocating lately that I felt like I couldn't breathe. The ocean felt nice."

He lifts his head and cups my cheek with his hand. "If something is bothering you, you can talk to me. You should be able to tell me anything. Do you not trust me?"

He looks so upset that my heart skips a beat. He cares about me. I've never had somebody care about me so much. How could Rita think that Noah put these bruises on me?

He's the Alpha Successor. He has to be tough. In his eyes, the black wolf is the enemy. That's why Alex ended up with those wounds. It doesn't mean Noah is violent. I'm sure Alex would do the same thing if there were an intruder on his turf.

"I'm sorry." I lift my hand to touch Noah's chest. "I didn't mean to worry you. There's just been so much going on."

He takes a deep breath. "I know. Things have been hectic. I've also been busy. I thought for sure we would have found the black wolf's body by now, but there's no trace of him in the woods. Last night, some potions were stolen from the healer's office. We've checked all the newcomers in town we could find. None of them display any of the massive injuries the black wolf sustained. So, either he's gone or he's really good at hiding in the forest. Or maybe somebody's sheltering him."

Yeah, me. I avoid Noah's gaze after that last part.

"But just because I'm busy, that doesn't mean you shouldn't come to me if you're stressed," he continues, scolding me lightly. "If you need to talk about anything, I'm here for you. Next time, don't go running into the ocean at the first sign of trouble."

My lips twitch at his sarcasm, and I end up apologizing. "I'm sorry. Next time, I'll bring you with me."

He grins. "Attagirl."

His smile is infectious, and some of the heaviness in my heart abates.

I may not be strong enough or wolf enough for Alex and his pack, but Noah doesn't seem to share that sentiment. At least, not yet.

"What were you doing out this way in the first place?" he asks as we start heading back toward town. Noah has his arms wrapped around my shoulders now, holding his coat securely around me to protect me from the chilly wind that is blowing.

"I came to drop off some groceries for Rita," I tell him. "She has a hard time getting into town because of her leg, so I like to help her out when I can."

Noah gives me a warm smile. "It doesn't bother you, being an errand girl?"

My lips curve at his question. "I don't mind helping others. Besides, Rita is a pack elder, and she's very kind to me. We often have a cup of coffee together."

"Speaking of coffee," Noah says before pressing his lips to my temple, "how about we go grab a cup right now? I ruined our last date, so I owe you at least that much."

The spot his lips touched feels uncomfortable. My wolf is deeply unhappy about the physical contact, but I hide it well.

"Sure." Anything to keep me away from the apartment with Alex in it. In truth, though, I would prefer to be alone. I still have to figure out who that mystery fighter was from last night. She was a female, and I'm sure she was a shifter. She not only matched me blow for blow, but she was also faster than me—and quite vicious. I couldn't keep up with her.

As Noah and I walk along the pathway in the forest, I see movement in my peripheral vision. My head instantly turns, and for a moment, I see a familiar face staring back at me from deep in the trees. When I blink, she is gone.

Eve? What is she doing out here? From what I know, my coworker doesn't really interact with many of the other shifters in Oakrest. She doesn't even take part in the pack runs. She's relatively new in town, having transferred here only a few months ago. It's strange to see her in the woods like this, because I distinctly remember her telling one of the servers who works with us that she's scared to go into the forest by herself.

I found her words strange because, even to me, a latent wolf, the woods feel like home.

"What is it?" Noah follows my gaze, coming to a stop.

I stare at the spot where I saw Eve. "I thought I saw someone I know."

"I didn't hear anything. If someone had been there, I would've heard them."

He's right. Perhaps I imagined it. Lately, my imagination has been running a little wild. "Let's just go."

As we walk, I keep glancing over my shoulder. There's no sign of the female shifter anymore.

Maybe I was wrong. But I can't shake off the feeling that I saw her.

*** **

We go to a small café in the business center of the town. Halloween decorations are set up everywhere, and I can imagine how colorful the streets will be tonight with the human children coming out to trick-or-treat. Even the wolf pups enjoy taking part in this festival, but it's not really my thing.

Noah insists on ordering for me, and I hope he doesn't get me something like a pumpkin latte, which is trendy these days. I hate pumpkin anything. I wait idly at our table as he places the order. My eyes are momentarily distracted by the window next to me. Noah hasn't commented on my black eye, and I can see why. My reflection is showing clear skin. Whatever that healing potion was that Rita had, it was extremely effective. Even my insides feel much better. But there is a strange energy brewing within me.

My fingers are tapping restlessly on the wooden table as I watch Noah pick up our drinks. My stomach is churning. I hope this is just nerves and not a side effect of consuming too many healing potions.

The scent of pumpkin reaches my nose as Noah sets down two to-go cups on the table in front of me.

I try not to gag at the smell.

"Halloween-themed drinks!" He beams, a childlike excitement in his eyes. "I've had at least two whole pumpkin pies this week alone. And there's a small street stall in the residential area that sells wolf-themed cookies. I didn't know Oakrest celebrated this holiday with such gusto."

I glance around the interior of the café, noting the decorations, and then out the window at the street. Nearly every store, restaurant, bar, and café is decked out for Halloween. I never really pay too much attention to it, but I guess he has a point. I tend to stay indoors during Halloween. Although shifters don't believe in this festival, I always feel very strange when the night in question rolls around.

The witches are really the ones who consider this night sacred. Something to do with the moon and their powers—I don't really know. But I've always felt a little off during Halloween. I prefer to curl up under a blanket and sleep.

"I think the town just likes an opportunity to go a little crazy," I murmur, recalling the children clamoring all over the streets last Halloween. I could see them from my apartment window.

"You have a point." Noah sips his drink and sighs happily. "There's not a lot else to do around here, is there? And considering the location, it's not easy to travel to other towns. There's only one road leading out of here, and even that is quite damaged."

"It's almost as if the exits have been deliberately sealed," I comment absentmindedly, stirring my coffee with a spoon.

When he doesn't say anything, I look up and see him watching me with interest. "Why do you say that?"

"Say what?"

"What you just said," he persists. "Do you really believe Oakrest has been isolated on purpose?"

I shrug. "Well, hasn't it? I thought the whole purpose of the pack security team in this small place was to make sure nobody can breach the South Alliance border."

Noah blinks at me, and then he relaxes, saying, "You're right. We are on the edge of the territory, after all."

I sip my drink, taken aback by his strange reaction. The pumpkin latte tastes abnormally sweet. My tongue tingles as the flavor hits it, and I excuse myself to get a bottle of water. There is no way I can swallow that entire thing and not make a face. I enjoy desserts like any other person, but for some reason, pumpkins are the bane of my existence. Especially pumpkin-flavored items.

I am glad that Noah got to-go cups because I have no intention of finishing this latte. I have to keep sipping it, unfortunately, because he doesn't seem to be planning to leave anytime soon. I'm only halfway done with my drink, and it's already been thirty minutes. My head is feeling a little light now, and I glance ruefully at the empty bottle of water on the table. I wish I could go get another one, but I don't want to hurt Noah's feelings about his choice of beverage for me.

He's engaging me in idle chatter, but his eyes are hyper focused on my cup. I've commented a couple of times that it's a nice drink, but that doesn't seem to satisfy him. Finally, out of options, I suggest, "Why don't we head out now?"

"You don't want to finish your coffee?" he asks, disappointed.

"I will, but I like to sip my drinks slowly." I force a smile on my face and get to my feet. He has no other choice but to follow.

"I have to pick up some papers from my apartment," he says suddenly. "Do you mind if we stop by my place?"

"Sure." Maybe I can chuck the rest of this liquid abomination while he's distracted.

He doesn't live very far from the coffee shop, and his apartment is on the second floor. When I enter, I'm not surprised to see the luxurious setup. As I run my hand across the back of the leather couch, I marvel at its softness. I have half a mind to lie down on it. What is this strange drowsiness? My limbs seem heavy. In fact, my whole body is feeling strange now.

Noah eyes me. "I'll just be a few minutes. Make yourself at home."

His apartment is massive, with a large living room and kitchen that open onto a terrace, and a long hallway that leads to other rooms. He heads into one at the end of the hall, and I look out a window. This place is not far from my own apartment. Maybe a ten-minute walk?

My body feels hot now, and I'm sure it's the potions. I've been feeling weird ever since I took that healing potion from Rita. I set down my coffee cup on the kitchen counter and try to pour myself a glass of water, but my hands are shaking.

I cast an anxious look toward the room where Noah disappeared.

Should I call out to him?

No, my wolf does not want to be vulnerable around Noah. It is feeling anxious and agitated, and it wants to come out.

As I stare down at my hands, I think I see fur sprouting on the tops of them. I shake my head. I have to get out of here.

I don't feel sick, exactly; this is something else. A burning sensation—like I've felt once before.

Stumbling out the door of the apartment, I see four members of the pack security team standing in the corridor. They were not there before. I quickly come back inside and close the door behind me.

What is going on?

I'm beginning to feel trapped now. I make my way back to the window and open it. Peering down, I see it's a sharp drop, but I think I can make it.

I really want to get out of this place. It feels like my body is going to combust. After positioning myself on the windowsill, I jump down. My knees scrape slightly against the rough stone garden at the bottom, but I don't care. I begin running toward my apartment. I have to get home.

My wolf knows where it's going. It's in charge right now. It knows who it is seeking.

This burning sensation is like electrical currents running through every part of my body, focusing on my most vulnerable areas. I can feel wetness down below.

Why is this happening?

I don't think I have ever been able to run as fast as I am going at this moment.

Reaching my building, I slam into Drew, who is on his way out. His eyes widen at my wild state, and he tries to stop me, but I push him away and sprint up the steps. I hear him call after me, but I don't even slow down.

My heart feels like it's going to burst out of my chest. My head isn't right. It feels fuzzy, and there's a white heat building up inside me like a crescendo. My body is burning as if someone has started a fire and it's consuming me.

I need his touch. I need his hands on me.

My wolf is at the forefront of my mind, taking charge, running the show. It understands these base desires in a way that I don't. It knows who to search for, whose touch can ease this red-hot fire within me. While my human side disagrees vehemently, it is a small voice fading away amid the vast energy that is my animal. My other half can sense the urgency within me.

He opens the door as soon as my foot hits the landing.

"Soph—"

My name gets stuck in his throat when he sees my expression.

I can smell the musky scent coming from my body, and dimly, I realize that he can, too. The look in his eyes is almost feral. I take two steps toward him and suddenly he's pulling me into his arms, his hot mouth pressing against mine in a kiss so hungry that it makes me gasp.

My wolf sighs in relief.