Chapter 10

Sophia

It's a foolish question because his arousal, like mine, is thick in the air.

"I always want you!" he says fiercely. "With every breath. I just—I want to do this properly!"

"Properly?" I gape at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He looks embarrassed. "I wanted to court you first. I wanted to fix all the wrongs I did, not just drag you into bed because I can't control myself."

"Wait." I sit up, staring at him. "Is that why you've been trying to spend time with me? To court me?"

"Well, yes," Alex admits sheepishly.

My mouth moves but nothing comes out. Frankly, I don't even know what to say. But my wolf does. Unlike me, my wolf is very clear on how our mate's actions have been making us feel.

Rejected.

"I thought you were rejecting me in some way," I say, quietly now. "I thought that's why you wouldn't touch me."

Alex's shock is evident on his face. "That's not what I—"

"Obviously!" I cover my face, feeling like an idiot. "You should have told me what you were trying to do, Alex! Why would you court me when I'm already here with you?!"

He pulls my hands away from my face. "I was trying to be considerate, Sophia. Things have been moving so fast for you, and I didn't want you to think—"

I feel annoyed and amused at the same time. And also oddly touched. "I don't need you to walk on eggshells around me. I just need you here, with me. I never had much to begin with, Alex, and I don't need much now. I don't have insanely high expectations. I just want you. I don't want you to walk away from me. I don't want you to let someone else come between us. But you don't have to stress over all the tiny details."

Alex doesn't smile at me; his expression is tense. "I know what you're thinking, Sophia. You think I'm only with you because you're the Silver Wolf."

"No, I—" I go still.

"I can sense how you feel," he says, his voice low. "Sometimes the truth trickles from your lips. And even if you are trying to convince yourself otherwise, your wolf believes that, as well, doesn't it?"

My animal shrinks inside me, but it doesn't deny anything.

"Alex," I begin, but he shakes his head.

"I don't need you to explain anything to me. I don't blame you for how you feel. I just want to change your mind. I want you to know how precious you are to me. And I know you're somebody for whom words will always be meaningless. I've learned that about you, and I understand why."

I study his expression, feeling lost.

I love him. I know that much.

Even if it is too soon or too quick, I know what my feelings for Alex are. But he's right. Maybe a part of me is still clinging to the belief that he wouldn't be with me if I weren't the Silver Wolf.

My wolf has grown quiet, subdued. But my resolve hardens.

I take Alex's face firmly in my hands, my tone hard. "I chose you, Alex. I could have gone elsewhere. I could have simply run away. But I chose you because you made me want to take a risk with my heart. Yes, sometimes, when I'm bitter or mad about something, the thought does strike me, but I know it's not true. You're not that type of person."

I take a deep breath, trying to sort things out in my head. "I'm sick of all the misunderstandings. I'm here now. I've spent my whole life struggling with one thing or another, Alex. Now, I want to be happy. You make me happy. I am here because I love you. I have a happy life with you. I don't want us to spend our time constantly second-guessing each other."

Alex has a blank expression on his face. "Say that again?" His voice is hoarse and filled with disbelief.

"Which part?" I ask cautiously.

"The part where you said you love me."

I feel heat bloom in my face. "I—Well, I do. I do love you. As much as I think I can love somebody. I know I want you to be happy. That's why I want the people you care about to be safe."

Alex lowers his head, and I wonder if I've said something to upset him.

When he finally lifts his gaze to meet mine, there's a lost look in his eyes. "I didn't realize. I didn't want you to regret coming all the way here with me. I've been so busy trying to make sure you didn't that I wasn't paying attention to anything else. I thought if I tried to initiate something, if I tried to sleep with you, you might think I'm trying to push the mating mark on you when I haven't even courted you properly, the way you deserve to be courted."

It doesn't escape me that he hasn't said he loves me, too. But can I really expect him to feel the way I do? I push the troubling thought aside and say, "I want this relationship to progress, Alex. It's not like I have a ton of experience, you know. You make me feel safe and happy, and that's important to me. You've proven that you care about me, over and over again. I know we've had some hiccups here and there, but I'm tired of dragging things out."

I'm done with talking. I never knew I could be so bold, but I move toward him. It's my turn to kiss him now.

He's frozen in place, and I wonder if I'm doing it wrong. A streak of embarrassment pierces me. Flustered, I try to pull away, only for Alex to push me back down onto the bed as he takes charge. His mouth moves against mine, changing the clumsy nature of my kiss into something deeper and more intense. His hands seize mine and pin them on either side of my head, rendering me immobile.

Alex's tongue stabs through my lips, tasting me, tracing every inch of my mouth, sucking on my tongue as I mewl helplessly underneath him. I didn't expect him to push me down and take over like this, but my heart flutters at his touch.

Memories of our one night together flare to life, but they soon fade into the background as Alex takes both my wrists in one hand and uses his now free hand to rip open my blouse. He plants wet kisses on my jawline, taking small bites along my skin. His tongue is hot and wet, leaving a trail of blazing heat behind.

It's incredible how his touch can make my skin feel like sparks of electricity are flying off it.

His hand reaches my breast, and he squeezes. My back arches, and without a second thought, I wrap my legs around his waist. The top of my head hits the bed frame as Alex's hot mouth takes in my nipple. I can feel my muscles tighten as he sucks and teases with his tongue, making me shudder.

He's taking his sweet time, tasting my skin, marking it like he did back in Oakrest. Only this time, I can feel the nips of pain as he drags his mouth around my breast, covering every inch of it. I flex my legs around Alex's waist and can feel his hardness pressing against me. Of course, given our position, it's pressing on the most sensitive part of me, and a quiet gasp escapes my mouth as he thrusts his hips forward.

"A-Alex," I moan, experiencing blinding, white heat.

He does it again, releasing my wrists and moving his hands to the waistband of my pajamas. He tears them off in one swoop before lifting my ankles to settle on his shoulders. When his hands pull my thighs open, my eyes widen. "Oh, shit. What're you—"

I don't even get to complete the question because his mouth presses against my pussy, and I throw back my head with an audible groan when I feel him pierce me with his tongue. His movements are frenzied as he eats me out. It's such an odd sensation to feel his tongue wiggling inside me, but when he presses his thumb against the tiny bundle of nerves, I let out a cry of pleasure, stifling any further sounds with the back of my hand.

I didn't remember how intense this felt.

As Alex plunders me with just his tongue and fingers, I muffle my cries. He's pushing me over the edge so easily, and time after time, he brings me to orgasm in his mouth. My chest is heaving, but he gives me no leeway, as if intent on shattering me tonight.

My hips now move in tandem with his tongue. In and out. He's destroying me, and I can't stop it. I'm completely at his mercy, and the very thought has me gasping in wanton need. The moans leaving my mouth are only broken sounds.

I can feel him lapping at the escaping juices as he finally releases my legs. The look in his eyes is crazed and starving. He lifts me into his arms, and I dimly realize that he got rid of his towel at some point.

His cock is standing up, hard, its head thick and bulbous.

I want to touch it, and when I barely manage to wrap my hand around it, Alex snarls.

"No. Not tonight." He removes my hand. "Next time, you can wrap your pretty little lips around my cock and suck it. Tonight, I just want you."

Alex picks me up as if I weigh next to nothing and lowers me down on his dick. I'm still coming off the high from my previous orgasms and not quite registering what he's doing. When the tip pushes its way inside me, I dig my nails in his shoulders, drawing blood. "A-Alex!"

It doesn't hurt, but it's both uncomfortable and foreign. And there's this other feeling, this pulsating sensation that feels oddly pleasant.

"You're too—" I can't get the words out, not to his face.

"Big?" he asks with a grin, thoroughly enjoying my moment of bashfulness.

"Fat!" I exclaim heatedly before letting out a quiet groan when he moves slightly.

"That's hardly an insult." My mate smirks at me before pushing me down on his cock. I can feel it inside me, thick and long, and a garbled sound leaves me. It's too much. It's wonderful.

He pulls out slightly before murmuring, "It's your turn."

"M-My—?"

I give him a half dazed look, a little drunk on the pleasure.

"Move," he orders.

I can obey orders. Right now, I'll do anything he tells me to.

Pushing myself onto my knees, I lift myself up before slowly lowering myself back onto his rod. It's a whole other, different sensation when I'm the one in control. My lips part in a breathy moan as I feel him fill me up, inch by inch.

Alex's hands tighten on my hips, and when I see the tense expression on his face, I feel a hint of satisfaction. To see him lose that control of his is a different sort of pleasure. The buildup is slow this time, but my inner muscles have become so sensitive that I almost want to cry out with each slow thrust.

Alex doesn't have the patience, however. His hands squeeze my waist, and he begins moving me up and down on him, pistoning inside me at a speed that robs me of my ability to think. Helpless sounds are torn from me as he maneuvers my body on top of his shaft at the speed he prefers. I can smell his blood in the air from where my nails are scoring his skin.

I hear Alex groan, and the next time he thrusts inside me, I shatter in his arms. I can feel his release fill me, and that triggers another orgasm and a scream from me.

My body tingles with the aftershocks. He lowers me down and pulls out of me, and then he inserts two fingers inside me before offering them to me. His eyes are dark with a hunger that looks insatiable, and I open my mouth, accepting his offering.

As soon as I do so, he lets out a growl before pinning me down on the bed and ravaging my mouth. I can feel his hardness press against me once again, and my body responds in kind. Excitement fills me.

I hook one ankle around his waist, already knowing I have a long night ahead of me.

***

When I wake up, it's to complete darkness.

My entire body is throbbing. I am not entirely sure where I am. The arm wrapped around my torso jogs my memory. I turn my head to the side and see Alex's face buried in my hair. He has one leg tossed over my hips and is practically hugging me in his sleep.

I smile softly, tracing the angle of his cheek and his sharp jawline with my finger.

I hadn't really planned on sleeping with him or initiating anything. I just wanted us to get past the strange uncertainty I could sense between us. I hadn't been feeling secure in our relationship even though we are fated mates and even though he brought me all the way here to his pack. I just needed assurance from him. I hadn't realized this was the kind of assurance I needed.

He wants me.

I could feel it in his every touch, in his every kiss, in the frenzied desperation of his movements.

Some of my confidence that had been waning has returned.

The entire room smells like us, I muse happily as I thread my fingers through Alex's hair.

I would love nothing more than to close my eyes and go back to sleep, but my stomach is rumbling, and I'm thirsty. One glance at the clock on the bedside table has me sighing.

It's two in the morning.

Closing my eyes, I try to push away the hunger, but it returns with a vengeance as soon as I begin to drift off again.

Irritated, I resign myself to leaving the comfort of Alex's arms.

As I gently untangle myself from him, he opens one eye, half asleep. "Where are you going?"

"To get some water."

"I'll get it for you."

He's about to roll over when I stop him. "No, you stay here. My muscles are stiff, so I need to move around anyway. Go back to sleep."

He kisses my bare shoulder before closing his eyes again.

Sliding out of bed, I hold in my whimper.

Goddess, it's so much worse standing up!

Hopping on one foot and then the other, I pick up my shirt and realize that Alex tore all the buttons. I glower in his general direction.

"You owe me a new blouse," I tell him.

He makes a sound of acquiescence before pulling the blanket over his head.

Opening the closet, I pull out one of his shirts and put it on before making my way down the steps. The light in the kitchen is on, and I can smell Lily's scent before I enter the room.

She has a cup of tea in her hands and is staring down into it, a thoughtful expression on her face.

When I clear my throat, she looks up and blinks. "You're awake." She peers around the edge of the island counter, a sly look in her eyes. "And not limping at all."

I narrow my gaze at her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Lily picks up her cup and sips the tea before smacking her lips just to annoy me. "Nothing. You do remember how to soundproof a room, don't you?"

My entire face feels hot. "Y-Yeah."

"Good to know," she replies simply, sipping the tea again. Only this time, I know she's using the cup to hide her smirk.

"I'm starving," I mutter. I turn to the fridge to raid it, and I hear Lily snort from behind me.

"I bet."

I shoot her an evil look over my shoulder before taking out some frozen sausages.

Lily is hellbent on embarrassing me tonight, though. "So, Alex has stamina, huh?"

"Lily!" I cry out, wishing the floor would open up and swallow me whole. I slam the sausages on the kitchen counter. "Do you have to do this?"

"I couldn't sleep!" Lily grumbles, annoyed. "Soundproofing! Don't you know how important that is?"

"Well, you could have done it for us!" I exclaim, wishing I'd had the foresight to do it.

She shakes her head at me. "You would have felt the magic, and it would have interrupted your little sexy time."

I lower my head to the counter, groaning.

She finally takes pity on me. "Those sausages look good. Let's have hot dogs. I think I saw some buns in the fridge."

As she rummages through the refrigerator, I take out the skillet and heat it up before placing the sausages in it.

I see her cutting open the buns and lathering each side with butter before popping them in the oven. I can't help but smile. This is another new experience for me. I've never really had friends, so making a midnight snack with Lily while we joke about sex is pretty great.

Lily gives me a cautious look. "Why're you smiling like that?"

I shrug. "No reason. This is nice. Having somebody to talk to so easily."

"Like, a friend?" She eyes me.

"Sure." I feel a little awkward labeling what we have between us. It sounds very juvenile.

Lily apparently doesn't feel the same way. "I've never had any friends," she says, leaning against the counter. "My—The witches in my coven were always very strict. No outside contact unless it was to go to the nearby villages for supplies. And they were all quite a bit older than me, as well. I would say that you're the first person I've met who's even close to my age."

"Once Alex helps you find a coven, I'm sure you'll meet plenty of witches your age." I flip over the sausages, not liking the direction of this conversation. I know Lily has her plans, but I really wish she would just stay here. It is a selfish thought, but being around her is as easy as breathing. I don't want to lose her.

"If he does," Lily mutters irritably. "He's not even looking for covens."

"He will," I promise her. "As soon as the situation here dies down. But you know—" I steal a glance at her— "you could always stay here, Lily. I mean, if you want."

She makes a scoffing sound. "Stay among shifters, you mean?"

"It won't be that bad."

Lily gives me a long look before sighing and saying, "Shifters benefit from witches—and vice versa to some extent—but shifters have a very low opinion of witches. Witches were always meant to protect humans from shifters. We provide a balance of power to the world. Right now, this pack might need my help and yours, but once things stabilize, their attitude may change."

"But I'm a shifter." I feel wary of the conviction in her voice.

"A shifter who can practice magic. That is—Shifters cannot practice magic. Only the Silver Wolf can. Which means you're not really a shifter, and they won't see you as one. Not a complete one. And chances are, if you have children, that bias will also be aimed toward them."

Troubled, I stare at the sausages sizzling in the pan. We never had a resident witch in Oakrest, so I don't really have firsthand experience with how witches are treated by my kind.

"Noah told me that some shifters practice magic…" I begin.

"Noah?" Lily looks at me.

"The Alpha's son, back where I used to live," I say slowly. "He once told me that some shifters could practice magic and that he could find a witch to teach me…"

My words taper off as I realize what I'm saying. Knowing what I do now, I can hear how ridiculous the whole thing sounds and see how gullible I was then.

"Never mind. He was lying to me."

"Why would he do that?" Lily asks curiously. "Maybe he was trying to help you."

"Noah knew what I was before I did," I explain as I plate the sausages. "He knew I was the Silver Wolf, and he was pretending to court me so that I would become his mate."

Lily lets out a hiss. "Are you serious? Maybe he did have feelings for you."

"I'll consider that as a possibility when I see pigs fly," I respond, my voice tense.

"You sound very sure," Lily says with an amused glint in her eye.

"Because I know Noah." My heart feels heavy with the shadow of memories. All of that happened not more than three months ago, yet it feels like a lifetime has passed. "I knew Noah when we were children. He wasn't just a bully; he was the worst kind of person. He once tried to drown me. One of the best parts of moving to Oakrest was escaping Noah. But then he showed up in town two months ago, and it turned out that someone I considered a friend was working with him. She was giving me a potion that made me amenable to him. I don't really know how it was supposed to work, but I do know that I forgave him far too easily."

A strange expression crosses Lily's face. "Magic—magic cast by a witch—wouldn't work on you. Even in potion form."

"That's not true. I drink healing potions all the time. At least, I used to." I laugh as I remember, "I used to be a fighter in a cage fighting ring."

Lily gestures with her hand, as if dismissing this tidbit of information for now. "A healing potion is different. Your magic won't cancel it out because it's for your health. But if someone tries to harm you with magic, it won't work. And I'm guessing the potion you were being fed was meant to harm you. So, your magic neutralized it."

Speechless, I stare at her for a few seconds before struggling to speak. "So, the potion wasn't affecting me? I forgave Noah just like that? Basically, I'm a schmuck?"

Lily grins. "Kinda. But don't feel too bad, Sophia. Silver wolves aren't like other shifters. Mind you, this is coming from what I was taught. But your kind—let's call you a sub-category of shifters—is incredibly special. You don't have the same violent tendencies or blood thirst that other shifters have. One of your greatest skills is empathy. And that's probably why you forgave him. Schmuck."

Her tone is good natured, but her words have me reeling. They make sense, though. I never felt attracted to Noah. I simply forgave him, and at the time, considering how Alex was behaving toward me, he seemed like a good choice.

But there's something bothering me.

"But the aphrodisiac…" I mumble. "Noah gave me an aphrodisiac."

Lily's eyes widen. "What happened?"

I run my fingers through my hair. "I ended up sleeping with Alex because of it, but how come the aphrodisiac worked and not that other potion?"

The young witch shrugs. "An aphrodisiac is made of specific herbs. It's not magic. Now, stop obsessing about the past and go look for some mustard and ketchup. You're here now, with Alex. Nobody's trying to get into your head anymore."

I relax. She's right.

I am with Alex now, and Noah is in my past. Besides, I have bigger problems to focus on: saving the children of this pack and finding my mother.