Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Prairie Rose

"Do you want me to kill him for you?" Briar May might have been the gentle, peaceful younger sister, but she could be fierce when it came to her family.

She shifted Sadie in her arms. Prairie Rose's new niece was as beautiful as her mom and far more spirited. She'd obviously inherited her dad's warrior soul. She wasn't an easy child in the least. She'd been more than twenty-four long, painful hours in coming, and come she had, screaming and wild into the world.

"Because I will. And by kill, I do just mean rip off his balls and feed them to the birds all while giving him a piece of my mind. It's one thing to send you away for your own safety. It's another for him to ignore your texts, your calls, and any attempts you've made to reach out. For a whole month."

Technically, it had been thirty-four days. Thirty-four agonizing days.

"You've turned into quite a warrior as well. Castor's clearly rubbing off on you." Prairie Rose forced a smile she didn't feel for her sister's sake.

Castor was out splitting logs with her brothers and some of the other men from the pack. Briar May invited her over often during the day. She knew Prairie Rose better than she knew herself. She could tell when she was hurting, when the hours the boys were in their little community school grew far too long, when the worry and the pain felt like it was going to rip her apart at the seams.

Briar May grinned at the warrior bit, which she took as a compliment. "Castor knows Agnar well. I could—"

"No. It's okay. I don't want him to try to talk to him. Don't make this his burden."

"We already feel it's our burden. All of us. We love you and you're clearly unhappy." She reached past their half-empty cups of tea towards her hand. Prairie Rose forced herself to keep it on the table and not jerk it away, just like she forced herself to stay seated and not fling herself up from the table and start pacing her sister's small kitchen.

She hadn't allowed herself to cry when she was packed up into that black SUV and sent away with the boys. They'd remained stoic when Agnar spoke to them early that morning.

"I won't have you share my fate. You are warriors and I need you to be strong. I'm not sending you away because you've done anything wrong. You're the best sons a man could ask for. I need you to go with Prairie Rose. You need to protect her now. Watch over her. Be strong for me until the time when I can bring you back to stay."

Neither boy spoke a single word on the long ride across the country. She hadn't pressed them. She had no idea what she could possibly say that would make anything okay for them. If they were afraid, they didn't show it. They were boys with the hearts and souls of old men who had seen too much life and death already and she was sure it had done some kind of damage to them. Maybe damage was the wrong word, but it had altered them irrevocably.

When they'd arrived and she'd shown them into her old cabin, which had a fire lit and was cleaned and well cared for by her family as they promised they'd do, she'd shown them to the one room that she had extra. The place was small and not at all what they were used to, but when she'd asked them if they were going to be okay, they both told her yes and thank you.

"I'm not unhappy," she tried to say, but Briar May shook her head. She brought Sadie to her shoulder and patted her little back while the baby made angry snuffling noises. She was always on the verge of breaking into a screaming spell, even when she was being held. Good luck putting her down at any time. Prairie Rose wasn't sure how her sister and Castor even slept.

"Yes, you are. I know you're trying not to make it obvious, and the boys probably can't tell, but we know you. I know you. We aren't twins, but we've always had a connection past what an older and younger sister have. We've always been so close. Your pain is my pain, and right now, it's killing me."

Prairie Rose clasped trembling hands under the table. "I don't want to hurt you. I'm sorry. I'll try harder."

"You're separated from your mate. There's no trying harder. There's nothing that will dull that pain, which is why I'm so angry with him. Good intentions only go so far."

"This was more than good intentions. It's a different world down there. Life and death. We've only heard the stories about how alpha's families were murdered after a new alpha took his place. That seems like long ago medieval style stuff to us, but to them, it's real."

Her sister's brows drew together. She kept patting Sadie's pink-clad back rhythmically. "What really happened down there?"

"Just what I told you. There was a challenge. It was unfair. Agnar didn't lose control of the pack and he wasn't displaced, but he was injured badly. With the unrest, he thought it was better if I came back here and took the boys."

That's all she'd told anyone, including Kieran, who was alpha, and her parents. She'd had to call Kieran on the drive and warn him she was coming back and that she'd have two boys in tow. She promised she'd explain everything when she got there, but she'd never intended on explaining everything. She certainly wasn't going to tell her family what kind of place Agnar's pack really was. They'd never let her go back if they knew. They'd fight to keep the boys with her as well, in Wyoming, and she knew that wasn't what they wanted.

They wanted their home. They wanted their father. Even if they remained hardened against showing it.

"The real pain isn't that I was sent back here," she found herself mumbling.

"Okay…"

She started, realizing that she had indeed voiced her thoughts aloud for her sister. Briar May sat, waiting.

It would be a betrayal to tell her sister that it felt like Agnar was giving up. Not the warrior way, but his hope for a future for his pack. She could see the hope bleeding out of him as he stood there watching the SUV with his sons pull away from his house. For a man who wore silver-plated armor over his face and his heart, it was so clear that he'd cracked wide open. He would have put himself together in the next second, but she'd seen the pain.

"It's that I saw a man try so hard to do something good for his pack. Agnar pushed himself past what anyone could and should have to bear. Alphas want the best for their pack and they're willing to give up their life, but this was more than that. It felt like he was being torn apart."

She gulped down the rising nausea and sadness that constricted her throat the same way Agnar's fingers had been wrapped there. He'd thought he'd hurt her, even though he hadn't. He hadn't spoken another word to her after the parting ones in the bedroom. She knew there was no changing his mind.

"We were made mates for peace, and I was only there for such a short time, but it feels like…" She grasped her mug and sipped the cold green tea. It was bitter from the bag being left in too long, but she swallowed anyway. She couldn't voice her thoughts. She wouldn't voice it. It felt like bad luck to say that she was scared something had happened to Agnar and she wouldn't even know it.

Briar May understood just from her expression. Unlike the boys and Agnar, she was painfully open. She'd never viewed that as a bad thing, and certainly her family and no one in her pack had ever practiced that kind of thinking. Not that Agnar's way was wrong, she reminded herself. Just different than everything and anything she knew.

"I'm worried about the boys. They've never shown that they're scared or sad or just how much they miss home. I know they've become good friends with Kieran's twins and a few of the other kids here, but they haven't heard anything from their dad. They have to be wondering. If I could just reassure them, I know they'd have to feel better."

"It doesn't surprise me that they won't talk about it, knowing Castor. He's made such an effort to be more open with me, but the world they know down there is so different than ours. They're raised that way from birth. I think you're right about having Agnar talk to them, even over the phone. I know you don't want me to, but I'm going to talk to Castor. He'll know what to do."

"And if we can't reach Agnar?"

"Then he'll go down there."

She set her mug down a little too hard. Sadie started, but then just let out a loud burp and settled. She was actually going to go into nap mode and not howl the house down mode. Briar May breathed a tiny sigh of relief.

"That's exactly what I don't want him to have to do. His father might have been banished that night, but…" She might have twisted a few details and left out the part where she'd nearly cleaved his arm off. She'd made it sound like he was banished as part of a failed challenge. "But he could still be dangerous."

What if he'd attacked his own pack? Found allies somewhere and led a battle, or another challenge against Agnar? Certainly, she'd know if her mate was harmed, wouldn't she? But their connection was so tenuous. He'd said she wasn't even a real mate. Had he meant that? Was it true?

A door banged open at the front of the cabin, which made both women leap up from the table. Sadie immediately started a high-pitch whine as she was frightened out of her nap by the harsh sound. Prairie Rose shifted into action, blocking her sister and the baby without a thought. Her wolf was ready, howling against the danger.

A few seconds later, Castor turned the corner and walked into the kitchen. Prairie Rose let out a loud sigh of sheer relief. She turned to see Briar May already bobbing Sadie up and down, trying to calm her. She'd known her mate's scent, and she hadn't been afraid, but with her back turned, Prairie Rose hadn't noticed.

Both women took in Castor's obvious anguish. There was a reason he was back from cutting wood when he should have been out all afternoon.

"What is it?" Briar May was able to ask, while Prairie Rose stood there, unable to force out a single sound.

"It's…" It was unlike Castor to trail off and look nervous, but he did now.

She'd never seen him lose control before. That seemed to be something that he possibly only ever showed her sister because she was his mate and he trusted her with all things. It reminded her so much of Agnar and that trembling way he'd stood there after realizing what he'd done when she'd startled him, and he was running on sheer adrenaline and instinct.

Agnar hadn't known how to comfort. He hadn't known how to say he was sorry. He didn't know how to process or be embarrassed. He couldn't bring himself to even look sorrowful when he gave his sons over into her safekeeping, or when he'd expressed how he was losing hope in his pack. It begged the question, what comfort had he known? Who had ever apologized to him? Who had given him love or even just a hug? Who had ever once taught him how to be gentle?

No one had shown Castor either, and somehow, he was still a good mate to her sister. He was still gruff and probably scary to most who didn't know him, but Prairie Rose could tell that under it all, he had a good heart and that was all that mattered. That and the fact that he tried so damn hard to make Briar May happy.

Her sister rushed across the kitchen, angling herself so that Castor caught her by the elbows. She turned a still screaming Sadie so she could see her daddy. He reached out and took his daughter, setting her against his shoulder and rubbing her back. With his half-shaved head and his massive beard and all those tattoos running every inch of his body, Castor looked like someone who would excel at murder, carnage, and intimidation, but he had a way with his child that could melt anyone on the spot. Sadie quieted immediately, even though Castor was obviously and unusually tense.

"They're bringing them in now. I came here to tell you."

"Who?" Prairie Rose's stomach churned nastily. Her heart started pinging off her ribs. "Who, Castor?"

"Who?" Briar May echoed, far more gently.

Prairie Rose didn't care about being gentle. Not when she wanted to run at Castor and grasp his shirt and beg him to tell her. She now understood why his expression looked all wrong. He knew the worst. She'd seen her sister with the same face when she'd found out that Castor had been dumped on their pack lands when they thought he was safe back in Arizona. Agnar had given his word that Castor wouldn't be harmed, but Alexander had gone against his alpha and nearly tortured his son to death.

By all rights, Castor's father should have been killed for what he did, but Prairie Rose remembered back to Agnar saying that it was better to keep him close. What was that old saying? Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Had Alexander returned to seek his vengeance?

For a moment she wished she'd killed the man, the night he'd tried to kill her mate. If she had done it, would she even be standing here now? She pushed that errant thought away—she wasn't a killer.

"Castor," Briar May prompted patiently. "You have to tell us what's happened. Kieran clearly sent you here because he thought it was you who needed to tell me and not him. He knew Prairie Rose was here. She's always here with me in the afternoons."

Castor cupped Sadie's head as he changed her position, cradling her in the crook of his arms. If he was looking at the baby, he didn't have to look at either of them, specifically at Prairie Rose. She was about ready to throw up, imagining the worst. She'd never seen Castor at a loss for words, but it was obvious he was going over and over in his head how he could say what he needed to say.

"There was an attack, wasn't there? It's my mate. It's Agnar."

Castor didn't raise his head. The shaved sides sported swirling black ink that trickled down his neck and disappeared under the white woolen knit sweater he wore. She could smell the earthy, animal scent of it because it was wet from falling snow and the sweat of him as he'd split wood.

"It's all of them."

Briar May immediately rushed to Prairie Rose and threw her arms around her. She clung tight, but really, she was the one holding both of them up. She had to swallow convulsively to keep the bile from surging up into her mouth. She was scalded by those words. The truth in them.

"Wh-what do you mean?" she stammered. Her face was hot, and she palmed her cheeks, only to realize they were soaked with silent tears.

"There was an attack from a neighboring pack. They broke the peace. My father led it. They cut through the fencing and took out the guards and then they went from house to house in the dead of the night. Agnar's numbers had dwindled down to no more than fifty, though there were probably less after that failed challenge. Some were killed, some banished. They were methodical, and because my father led them, they knew just where to go. There was no alarm and they maimed and killed indiscriminately."

"No!" The cry erupted from both of them. Briar May clutched Prairie Rose harder, pressing her body against hers. She felt the warmth of her, the sweetness of motherhood that clung to her.

All those men, those women she'd seen in the cave just a little over a month ago, they were all gone? It didn't seem possible.

"I'm afraid it's true. The men tried to fight while the women took the children and ran to the desert, but they had men waiting. My father planned for everything. He didn't want to spare anyone. He wanted the pack wiped out. Agnar saw what was happening and he charged towards the caves. I don't know how many men he killed so the women and children could escape, but when he was done, he went back and tried to fight his way through, back to his men."

Agnar was dead. He was dead, the pack wiped out, his dream vanished. The boys were fatherless now. They'd lost their mother already. She was little more than a stranger they'd been handed over to. Her whole pack was a strange place to them. They might have hidden their ache at adapting and stuffed their true feelings about the whole thing deep down, but she knew they were hurt before. How could they possibly survive this now? They had no home to go back to. The only remaining family they had was the Nightfall Pack, and they weren't family at all. They had her, but would they want her? Could she ever be enough?

Theirs hadn't been a match for love, but she still felt like her heart had been cut out and put on a grinding stone. It was being slowly pulverized into utter obliteration. Not even mere dust would remain.

She clutched at Briar May's shirt and buried her face there. Her sister held her tight while she sobbed.

"The rest you'll have to ask him, but I'm assuming he'll tell you. He asked for you specifically and Kieran sent me straight here. He doesn't want the boys to know anything yet, until he's spoken with you."

Her head snapped back and up. "What?" She hadn't heard correctly. She was making it up in her head, her deepest wishes.

Castor nodded. He couldn't really be nodding, could he? Was she making that up too? She felt disgustingly disoriented, far worse than the night she'd been drugged.

She was completely out of breath, Castor's words falling like blades to cut her from every angle. How could Agnar possibly be in a worse state? When Castor was dumped on their lands, he was barely conscious and had been in and out of such a high fever from infected wounds that it had been days before he came around.

Speak to Agnar? There was nothing she could say or do that could even begin to mend this type of loss. She couldn't even fathom the magnitude of it. She hurt for every one of those people coming in. They'd lost family. Loved ones. Fellow packmates. It was a horror that they'd relive every day for the rest of their lives. Somehow, they'd have to make a new start in a strange land with complete strangers.

"I'm so sorry, Castor." Briar May only left her to put her arms around her mate. She rested her cheek against his shoulder, careful not to bump Sadie in his arms. It was right that she offered him comfort. He'd lost friends and probably family. He hid it well, but he had to be devastated. He wouldn't break down because he was too well trained, but behind that careful arrangement, he had to be bleeding out.

Agnar was alpha of nothing now, but he had been alpha of an entire pack. He'd trusted and believed in peace. He'd banished Alexander instead of having him killed. And he'd been betrayed. Again.

He'd lay all the blame at his own feet.

He'd feel, above all, the heavy weight of responsibility that he bore for the dead and those who had survived. The men she'd driven in that SUV with the night she'd first gone to Arizona, all those people in the cave, the children she hadn't met… were they all gone now?

Agnar wanted to speak with her, but what could she offer but more horrible silence?