Chapter 19

My eyes widened at the display of gratuitous nudity sprawled out on the floor before me. I'd driven straight over from Asia's house, hoping to catch Tak before he went out to the bar or someplace else.

Boy, did I ever catch him.

With the sack of veggies in my arms, I'd knocked on the door with my foot. The third time, I gave up and turned away.

"I'll be out of your hair in a minute!" Tak growled.

I turned around just as he slammed the door in my face. Confused, I shifted the sack in my hand and knocked once more before entering. Nothing could have prepared me for what I found lying on the floor.

Tak's body glistened, suds running down his chest from the ends of his hair. If I hadn't seen his penis before, I sure as heck had a grand view under the spotlight of sun pouring into the room.

"Hope?" he asked, his voice quavering as he looked at me with bloodshot eyes.

I couldn't help myself. I lost it. Completely and utterly lost it. I drew in a vocal breath that sounded like a donkey braying and laughed even harder. When Tak flipped over on his hands and knees, giving me a generous view of his backside as he crawled into the bathroom, I fell to my knees and cradled my aching stomach.

"Finally… she laughs," he grumbled from the other room.

I caught my breath when the laughter began to wane. The visual was too much, and I quickly shut the door behind me before Tak gave the world another peep show. The water ran in the bathroom for a short time, and I wiped my tearstained cheeks as I stared at the wet spot on the carpet.

After a minute or two, Tak sauntered into the room, wearing a pair of jeans. His hands deftly sectioned his wet hair before weaving it into a long braid. "First you laugh when we make love, now it's the sight of my nude body."

I stood up, a laugh still trapped in my throat. "You caught me off guard. I thought I'd find you watching TV or taking a nap. I wasn't expecting full frontal."

While tying off the end of his braid, he jerked his chin at my feet. "What's in the bag?"

"Oh," I said, having forgotten. "Someone gave me their garden vegetables. I didn't want to leave them in the hot car."

Tak smirked and peered inside the bag. "I didn't know you'd planned on staying that long in my room."

My heart did a quickstep, and I set the bag on the table. "What were you saying a moment ago about being out of my hair?"

He flicked a glance at the door. "Oh, that. I thought you were the manager. He's in a hurry to clean the room for the next guest."

I touched the ends of my hair. "Are you leaving?"

He averted his gaze. "This room is too small for me, that's all. I'm not going back on my word. I'll stay until Lakota returns."

I sensed a lie in his explanation but didn't confront him. Aside from the unmade bed, everything looked tidy. No empty water bottles, no food wrappers or other trash. His travel bag on the dresser was zipped up and ready to go.

"Where are you staying?" I asked, wondering if maybe his wolf had caused trouble.

He grabbed his shoes and sat on the bed, facing away from me. "Someplace bigger. So who gave you all the vegetables? Was it a man?"

"Why would you ask that?"

Tak glanced over his shoulder at me but said nothing. He didn't need to. Shifters hunted for their mates, and though fresh meat was the preferred offering, some wolves took the gesture of providing food very seriously.

"It was a friend," I answered.

"You're good at dodging my questions."

I crossed the room and looked down at him. "I'm not the only one good at being evasive."

He finished lacing up his shoe and hung his head. "I don't mean to insult you with lies. I can't pay for this room anymore, so I'm going to sleep in my truck. It's only for two more days."

"No, you're not."

He looked up at me. "Yes, I am. What other options do I have? None of my people live here."

"You don't have a Breed account?"

"I live on tribal land. What use do I have for credit?"

"Did you ask your father for money? He can wire it to you."

Tak dipped his chin. Yes, I knew that look of being too proud to ask for help. My father had offered many times to pay for our store, and I'd turned him down each time. Children must leave their parents and learn what it means to struggle. Breaking away from the pack is tough, but it's the only way to earn respect. Especially for a young man of fifty.

I chewed on my lip for a moment. "Why don't we work this out later? I have the day off. Would you like to see my city?"

He shook his head. "I'm not into tourist attractions."

"There's more to Austin than that. We'll stay in the Breed district if that makes you comfortable, but I know a few places I think you'll enjoy. If your wolf needs to run, there's a private place I go sometimes."

"Hopefully not that spot by the side of the road."

I laughed and touched his shoulder. "No, that was an emergency stop."

He stood up and towered over me by almost a foot. "You came all this way to be with me?"

My blood warmed as I looked into his soulful eyes. "Is that okay?"

He brushed his thumb along my cheek. "I would be honored if you showed me your city. But I have to warn you—humans make me uncomfortable. In fact, so do Vampires, Chitahs, and—"

"You should give people the benefit of the doubt. When you spend all your time around Shifters, you make the world a smaller place. Come with me, Tak. It'll pass the time and won't cost a penny." I stood on my tiptoes and gave him a hopeful smile. "I have the day off. Please say yes."

He cupped my face in his hands. "For that smile, I'd walk through a firestorm."

His words moved down my body like silk. Tak's feather-soft kiss had me leaning in for more, my hands flattening against his broad chest. The way he tunneled his fingers through my hair and took his time made this kiss entirely different from any other. It lingered, and its lazy course didn't reduce me to a sex-starved animal. All I knew was that kiss—the familiar taste of his lips, the gentle slide of his tongue against mine, the tender way he held me, and most especially the way his heart quickened against my palms when I softly kissed the corner of his mouth as we broke apart.

He gave me an admonishing glance. "You're not thinking about paying for anything, are you?"

"Would you have a problem with a woman paying? Are you that old-fashioned about gender rules, or is it because it might bruise your alpha pride?"

A roguish grin appeared, and his eyes danced with amusement. "Duckie, you've got backbone. Anyone ever tell you that?"

"Not often enough."

He tossed his head back and laughed. When his eyes met with mine again, he lifted me into his arms, my feet dangling off the ground. "Show me what I've been missing all my life."

* * *

Even though I'dpromised to stay in the Breed district, we drove to South Congress so he could see the vendors and eateries, and get a view of the Texas Capitol. Tak turned up his nose at the quirky antique stores and costume shops, and he definitely didn't like that someone had spray-painted the side of Home Slice Pizza and a few other buildings. I tried to explain the eccentricities of the neighborhood, but his naivety was obvious. He'd grown up in a rural Shifter community and probably didn't watch television more than he needed to, if they even owned one.

Tak enjoyed walking, but he kept his fists clenched as if ready for battle. The city must have seemed like a foreign country for a man who had spent his life on tribal land. We stopped in front of a taco bar to listen to a local band playing folk music. The way Tak's nose lifted with every scent in the air hadn't escaped my attention.

"Do you want to see the bats later?" I asked.

His brows furrowed. "Bats?"

I chuckled softly. "Maybe another time. Are you sure you don't want to eat? Nothing goes together like free music and tacos."

Tak waved his hand and continued strolling up the sidewalk. "That's not real food."

"Then what is real food?"

"Come with me, and I'll show you." He led me back to his truck, and after a short drive, gestured toward a farmers market.

"This is real food," he said, parking up front.

"If you like this, you should see the one they have downtown on Saturday."

Once inside, Tak spoke with a man regarding the price of sausages. When he pried open his wallet and glanced inside, he thanked the man and wandered over to the vegetables. While Tak was distracted, I quickly darted to the counter and asked for the meat. It became a fun game—following him around, adding everything he admired to my basket. When he headed to the bathroom, I seized the chance to make my purchase.

Several minutes later, after I'd memorized all the different cheeses, I swung my head up and saw Tak buying something at the counter. When he turned around, he handed me a giant sunflower.

I twirled it between my fingers. "You shouldn't waste your money on such things."

"Best money I've spent. Are you ready? There's nothing here for me."

I handed him the bags. "I disagree."

Tak's eyes rounded when he looked inside. My lips eased into a grin, and I strutted out the door.

He swiftly caught up and matched my pace. I liked that feeling. Alphas were physical, and their behavior spoke louder than words. He didn't put distance between us or crack a joke after I implied there might be another reason for him to stay in Austin. Instead, he walked so close to me that our arms brushed together.

It was hard to ignore how handsome he looked in his white tank top showing miles of brown skin and muscle. His carved cheekbones and strong features stood apart from other men. He had straight shoulders and a confident stride. People couldn't help but notice him.

I had a terrible feeling he might reconsider leaving after a night of sleeping in his truck, but what could I do? He'd never accept my money for a motel, and staying with me wasn't an option. If only Lakota had stayed a little longer so they could have resolved their differences.

When I glanced at a patio table at the café next door, my heart went from a flutter to palpitations. It was like seeing a ghost, and I halted in my tracks.

There he was.

River.

The man I'd given my virginity to was eating a burrito. I hadn't seen him in years, and he looked the same, only a little rougher. Same black hair and mustache, but his frame was thinner and he didn't put much effort into shaving anymore. Physically, River looked in his forties. He wasn't handsome, but his appearance wasn't what had attracted me in the first place. While other men were ogling my breasts and backside, River had always complimented my clothes, my eyes, and said I had the most graceful walk.

He wiped his mouth on his arm and glanced over, briefly making eye contact before looking away.

I swallowed hard, no longer aware of Tak's presence.

"Hi, River," I said. When he didn't look back, I moved closer to his table. "River, it's been a long time."

He scooped up the fallen bits of food from his plate and gobbled them up. After wiping his hands on his shirt, he finished off his drink until there was nothing but ice at the bottom.

River didn't recognize me. From his hurried behavior and dirty pants, I guessed he must have been on a short work break and didn't have time to dilly-dally.

I crossed into his line of view to grab his attention. "It's me, Hope. How have you been?"

When River lifted his head and looked around me at a loud motorcycle thundering by, I realized neither his hearing nor his memory were impaired. Even though I had no feelings of love for him, rejection lanced through my heart like a spear. How could he sit there and not even say hello? I'd shared my body with this man, and he ignored me as if I were no better than a stray dog.

Tak approached River from behind, his eyes on me. "Is something wrong?"

River turned around and glared up at him. "A man's trying to enjoy his lunch in peace. Why don't you take your bitch for a walk?"

Tak's expression brimmed with uncertainty. Bitch wasn't a derogatory term in the Shifter world, but he must have sensed there was more going on here than two old friends running into each other.

"River? Why aren't you speaking to me?" I pressed.

He scratched the side of his head with quick movements and stood up. Before I knew it, he'd erased the distance between us and was staring down at me. Hard. I could feel his glare all the way into my soul, as if exposing all my secrets for the world to see. His judgment lashed at me, as did his resentment and cold indifference. Memories of the past swirled in my mind, and when he moved around me and walked off without a word, I broke out in a cold sweat.

Never had one glance made me feel so insignificant.

Tak put his hands on my shoulders. "Who was that?"

My trembling fingers touched the base of my neck. It felt like a heavy man was sitting on my chest and my ribs were about to crack. When I realized what was happening, panic set in, and that was when I lost control. Before I knew it, the world tilted off its axis. I shook my head, that feeling of doom fast approaching. The busy traffic and open sky became a crushing force I couldn't escape.

Not here,I thought. Please, not now.

Panic attacks would hit me without warning. They were unpredictable, and sometimes the most unexpected things set them off. Occasionally, I could stop one before it spiraled out of control, but not always. Especially around people I didn't know—people who might judge me for what they were about to witness.

"Hope?" Tak gripped my shoulder with one hand and cupped my cheek with the other. "Look at me." His tone was firm, not at all the way he usually spoke to me.

Backing up a step, I gripped the collar of my brown tunic. The fear of dying latched on like a nightmare, and my heart raced as if there were sharp talons gripping it tightly. "I can't breathe. I need a Relic." The hair on my nape stood on end, fear lapping against my skin in icy waves. I gulped for air as my heart sped out of control.

Tak backed me up against the building and caged me in tightly until I saw nothing but his chest, shoulders, and pensive gaze. "Look at me."

"I can't," I whispered, shoving against him. "I want to go home. Something's wrong." The words moved so quickly past my lips that I wasn't sure if I was even speaking them aloud. Thinking took a back seat to reacting.

"Nothing's wrong with you," he assured me, his voice like still waters. "You're safe. You're healthy. You just need to get out of your head and focus on something. Smell the air, Hope. Take a deep breath and tell me what you smell. Focus."

I tucked my arms against his chest, his voice rumbling through me. Did he know that I couldn't focus on objects? That every car speeding by shook my concentration and spun me around like a top? After drawing in a deep breath, I said, "Your armpit."

He didn't laugh. "That's good. That's real good."

But it wasn't. I had a funny feeling all over, one that made my legs wobble like jelly.

"What else do you smell?"

I shook my head.

"You can do this, Hope. Wolves go by scent. What else?"

"Meat. Grilled meat. Your shampoo. Exhaust fumes."

When Tak put his arm around me, it felt as though he'd glued me to him. "Take another deep breath and try to smell something else. We're going home."

His energy kept my legs moving, but my thoughts were scattered. Tears sprang to my eyes when I remembered my father screaming at River. He'd never taken that anger out on me, but I'd always felt like I deserved it. River had lost his pack and purpose while I lived comfortably with our secret.

Before I knew it, I was leaning away, the urge to flee intensifying.

Tak had awoken my wolf, and now she wanted out.

He hoisted me off the ground and opened the passenger door.

I wanted to explain what was happening, but I was a butterfly caught in a net from which I couldn't escape.

"You're safe with me," Tak whispered in my ear, his arms encasing me. Normally someone pinning me made it worse, but not with Tak. He gently lowered me until my feet touched the ground, never taking his eyes from mine. "I'm going to let go for a second and help you inside the truck. Just don't sit on the tomatoes, or you'll be having pizza for dinner."

I let out a nervous laugh and climbed in. When he shut the door, I pressed my face against the seat and watched him collect the shopping bags from the sidewalk and put them in the back of the truck. The heat from inside the cab melted my skin, the thick air difficult to breathe in.

Tak hopped inside, a light breeze sneaking in through the open door. He brushed my hair away from my sweaty face. "Slow your breathing. Don't worry about leaving your car at the motel; I'll go back for it later. Right now, you're all that matters."

He couldn't have realized how much that meant. My attacks were terrifying and embarrassing, and yet Tak knew all the right things to say.

When he slammed his door, the fear of shifting made me reach for the handle. What if my wolf lost control and attacked him? What if he shifted in self-defense and fought her to the death?

"Stop," he said, capturing my wrist. "Stay right here with me."

"I can't. I need to go. I need to—"

Before I could finish, my skin rippled with magic and unleashed my wolf.