Chapter 10 - Cyrus

Staring at my reflection in the elevator’s mirror, I stroke my cheek absentmindedly as I recall the slap from the other night.

I’m not as angry as I should be. I’ve done a complete three-sixty and cowered behind the excuse of being too occupied to fulfill patrol duties for the past two nights.

I’m steering clear of Cassandra, hiding from her as if I’m not the revered leader of the Moon Shine Pack.

What has she done to me?

Even with Jarrod out of the picture, the obstacle of confusion cleared up because of my drunken stupor, and I’m reluctant to act upon those intrusive thoughts that keep me up at night. Thoughts about Cassandra and what her lips might feel on mine.

It’s a thought that’s been lingering in my mind ever since I stared at her face on the porch outside her cottage. For the first time in my life, I allowed my mind to wander further than my denial, counting her freckles like stars in the night sky before permitting my gaze to drift to her lips and imagine what it would be like to kiss her.

I blame the alcohol I consumed in a bar, laced with enough wolfsbane to render me insane.

That’s what all of this is. It’s insanity, and it can’t continue lest I lose my mind and the innate power bestowed on me as a birthright.

Cassandra Chikara doesn’t have a hold on me, and I’m about to prove that to myself.

As soon as the elevator doors slide open, Jarrod is in the lobby, ready to greet me. Too ashamed to admit that I’d wrongfully internalized my accusations, I haven’t told him about the whole ordeal or how I suspected he had something going on with Cassandra.

“Hey, Cyrus,” he greets, smiling obliviously at the grudge I’d misconstrued. “How did the meeting go?”

“I need you to prep the contract,” I tell him, going on to give him an update on the meeting. He congratulates me on our latest addition to the group of investors with a pat on the back.

“I’m glad things in the company are running smoothly.”

I raise a brow at him when we reach the cafeteria. “Something tells me you have bad news…”

“No news, actually,” he sighs despondently. “Asuka’s assistant is still dragging me on for more time. I’m not sure if the Alpha Council is willing to wait any longer.”

“Have you heard from them?” I ask, grabbing a mug in desperate need of the most potent dose of caffeine in the building. I’ve been using work as an excuse to distract myself from pack concerns ever since that night on Cassandra’s porch. With back-to-back meetings and sealing deals as if my life depended on it, I’m exhausted.

“Flynn Lycoan called this morning. He wanted to find out if we’ve made any progress.”

“Fuck…” I murmur, fingers tightening around the mug as it fills with boiling water. “... They’re gonna think I’m an imbecile.”

It doesn’t help that I feel like one. All these treacherous feelings of unworthiness are self-inflicted. I know that. I’d never felt this way until I allowed Cassandra to get to me.

She has no power over me, I remind myself with a chesty growl that is doused when I take a hefty sip of espresso.

“Don’t worry about it, Cyrus,” Jarrod assures me with a wink. “I told him that the hacker was already working on it. Threw some tech jargon at him, and he was convinced that we’re doing all we can to find Dorian’s whereabouts.”

“So there’s no problem, then?”

“Nah,” he shrugs dismissively. “I’ve bought us some time. All we can do is wait for Asuka now.”

Biting my inner lip, I stare at the Beta for the longest time, feeling regretful for the way I’d been acting lately. Apart from being my best friend, he’s my assistant at work and the Beta of my work. Both are jobs he takes equally seriously, fulfilling his duties and often going above and beyond to ensure the smooth running of the company and the pack.

Even if he was into Cassandra, I had no right to interfere or feel jealous about it.

Still, I need to put my mind at ease.

I’m part human, after all.

“How have patrols been going?” I ask casually, sipping on my coffee as I head to the window overlooking the bustling city streets.

“Things have been quiet,” he informs me, joining me in watching the city slickers passing the sidewalk. “Though everyone’s been wondering why you haven’t been around.”

My heart skips a beat, leaving behind a fragment of excitement that has me asking, “Everyone…?”

“Uh-huh,” he hums over a sip of his coffee. “The other patrollers have been asking. Told them you’ve just been busy at work and will join again.”

“Just…” I pause to gulp. “... just the patrollers?”

Keeping my eyes fixed on the passersby, I wait with bated breath for the confirmation I sought with that question.

“Cassie, too,” Jarrod confirms with amusement, which is evident in his tone. When I flick my eyes over at him, I notice the knowing smirk on his lips.

“Has she said anything?”

“No,” he shakes his head, the smirk unwavering. “She didn’t need to.”

“Out with it, Jarrod,” I command, prompting him to turn to face me.

“How much longer are you two gonna keep this up, huh?”

“Keep what up?” I ask, taking a deliberate sip of coffee.

Jarrod snorts, shaking his head. “It’s so obvious that you have the hots for each other. Even Dakota seems to think so. She says—”

“Wait…” I raise a brow. “... Dakota? Cassie’s friend?”

Jarrod purses his lips as he turns back to the window, his ear turning red as if he’s stifling the need to blush right now.

“Dude!” I slap his shoulder, my jaw dropping as realization dawns on me. Jarrod wasn’t trying to hook up with Cassandra.

He was trying to get with her friend.

It all makes sense now, the floodgates of relief parting and soothing the bruises to my ego.

“You and Dakota?!”

Jarrod nods slowly. “I thought you’d figure it out by now. You’ve been so preoccupied; I guess it flew past your head.”

I sniffle as I flick my gaze to the ground. Now, I feel even worse than I did before. I was preoccupied, but not with the things Jarrod thinks have been keeping me blind to what’s been going on in my own pack.

“Yeah… I’ve had a lot on my mind.”

“Clearly…” Jarrod concedes with a soft chuckle. “And of the many things on your mind, Cassie isn’t one of them?”

Shit! Can he see right through me?

“Why would she be on my mind?” I cough to clear my throat. “She means nothing to me.”

“Yeah, right!” Jarrod bleats, his refusal to accept my denial infuriating me. “She’s the reason you blew Emily off the other night.”

“That’s not true. You know how I feel about these she-wolves. They’re all the same.”

“That’s why you insisted on having Cassie under your watch during patrols.” Jarrod pauses and turns to me with a frown. “Did something happen between you two?” he gasps. “That’s why you haven’t been coming these past few nights.”

A growl builds up in my throat, but it does little to dampen Jarrod’s high spirits as he grins from ear to ear.

I clear my throat again and boldly declare, “I can assure you that nothing is going on between Cassandra and me. I’ll prove it.”

Jarrod laughs as he turns to me with a raised brow. “How do you plan on proving that?”

“Let’s swap rotations tonight. I’ll take your shift and patrol alongside Cassie.”

“Okay…” Jarrod doesn’t sound convinced, though I’m unsure why I need to prove anything to him.

Perhaps I need to prove this to myself. I don’t have any feelings for the dorky girl who riles me up. Even if she’s not the geeky teen I remember her to be, the one who used to make my pulse quicken, she’s not who I need.

I don’t need a she-wolf to complicate my life.

***

“Are you going out?” Mother asks when she finds me biting into an apple in the kitchen.

“Uh-huh,” I nod, swallowing the mouthful and turning the fruit over for a fresh spot to bite into. I’m trying my best to remain indifferent to the fact that I’ll be seeing Cassandra tonight.

Still, my blood boils while my gut churns, depleting my appetite and forcing me to grab an apple for a quick bite. With my mind racing a mile a minute with unanswered questions, I wish this fruit was plucked from the Tree Of Knowledge instead of my backyard.

“I thought we’d have dinner together,” Mother sighs downheartedly as she sits at the island table.

“Not tonight, Mother. Forgive me. I have to patrol.”

“You didn’t have that excuse these past few nights, Cyrus. Is something bothering you?”

Discarding the core in the trash can, I shake my head dismissively. “No. Why would anything be bothering me?”

Mother narrows her eyes skeptically. “You don’t have to speak to me if something’s bothering you, Son. But it would be nice to have someone to speak to. You cannot shoulder the weight of the world on your own.”

“Lemme guess…” I chuckled dryly, folding my arms. “... This is another lecture about me taking a mate.”

My mother rolls her eyes, reaching for the fruit basket in the center. “If you know what I’m about to say, I’ll just get to it. Have you come to your senses?”

“Oh, Mother…” I walk up to the table and lean over with a sigh. “... I’m in my senses, alright. I will not take a mate, and that’s final.”

Shaking her head, Mother throws a grape at my face. I’m able to nimbly dodge the playful attack, bursting into laughter. Mother joins me, her youthful giggles filling the air, and for a fleeting second, I can’t help but feel guilty about my firm decision to never take a mate.

Mother would have loved to chase a grandson around the empty house and fill it with the kind of laughter the air was blessed with in my youth. With Father gone and with me in charge, the empty vessel of loneliness has shown me the light.

The Rudolph family is as cursed as we are blessed with the true Alpha blood running through our veins. Each time a male in the family takes a mate, he probably does so with the hope that he’ll change the status quo and produce more than one son in the family.

I don’t wish to take the risk and leave behind a son who yearns for the companionship of a big family.

Goddess knows how lonely this life is. No siblings, no cousins. Nothing really to look forward to.

I’ll live out the rest of my life exactly the way it is, leading the pack as their Alpha until I’ve retired to hand Moon Shine to the most capable male in the pack. The Rudolph name will go down in history.

It’s not like any of it matters once I’m gone.

“You won’t change your mind?” Mother asks when her laughter subsides.

A heavy-hearted sigh falls from my lips as I straighten up. “I’m quite content as is, Mother. I won’t change my mind.”

Mother nods, the sadness in her eyes compelling me to round the table and press a kiss on her cheek.

“Don’t wait up for me,” I chuckle as I head to the back door.

“I’m too old for that!” Mother calls back just before I step outside.

Greeted by the cool Autumn breeze outside, I take a deep breath as I mentally prepare for the night ahead. Taking over Jarrod’s shift tonight is the only way I can prove to myself that I feel nothing for Cassandra.

Apart from the obvious resentment that’s been building up since the moment she stepped foot back in Mysthaven. Why? Why does she plague me so? Why can’t I stand to be around her while I’m unable to be away from her?

“Urgh…” I groan, shoving my hands into my pockets as I cross the gravel road leading toward the forest. Reluctantly shifting into wolf form, my paws feel leaden and heavy as I drag myself forward.

It’s only an instinctive need to hunt that rumbles in the pit of my belly, and it has me looking forward to joining tonight’s patrol group near the valley. From back here, I see the group huddled near the ravine, their mind links fine-tuning in my mind and becoming clearer.

“... Jarrod’s not joining us,” Dante informs the group.

“ I heard he has a date tonight,” Hunter, a younger patrol wolf, snickers.

Was everyone aware of this except me? Thanks to my overworked mind and a particular she-wolf who wouldn’t leave my thoughts alone, I was the only one left in the dark.

It’s that very same she-wolf who glances over her furry shoulder, round brown eyes meeting mine and widening with sudden alertness.

“ We should split up,” Cassandra tells the group.

“As much as I like it when you take charge, Cass…” Dante begins, and my blood begins to boil enough to set me into a quicker jog.

“ ... I think we all need to hunt.”

“Yes, of course.” Cassandra dips her head just as I arrive.

She barely looks my way when I stand beside her, giving me reason to believe that she wanted to disperse to avoid me. Now that we have to hunt, she won’t have a choice but to be around me.

“ Cassie is right …” I relent, hearing her quick intake of breath beside me as if I’ve just surprised her by agreeing to what she’s said.

Ever since she returned, we’ve been in disagreement about a lot of things.

“... We should split up. We can’t leave the perimeter unattended. But we can hunt in groups.”

Dante nods his wolf head. “ We’ll take the first watch, Alpha. You should hunt before any of us do.”

Acknowledging my precedence over the pack refuels my dwindling resolve and has me standing tall and proud in wolf form. It’s a feeling that had been slipping through my fingers because of everything that’s been going on with Cassandra.

Or everything that’s not been going on… My inner wolf mocks. I quickly flit my eyes around to make sure that no one heard that. Thankful when I find their heads bent respectfully, I clear my mental throat and turn to Cassandra.

“ You will join me, Cassandra.”

She lifts her head, the fur between her eyes gathered as if she’s frowning. A slight squeak enters my mind, but that’s the only sound she makes when her eyes flick over to the others, and she remembers that we’re not alone.

Thank Goddess, she doesn’t try to defy me in front of the others. I wait for the others to cross over the ravine before turning toward the mountain. As I lead the way forward, Cassandra follows me without a word.

The dense silence hanging like a dark cloud over our heads feels like it weighs down on my shoulders. I know that there’s so much left unsaid between us, but I’m riding on the relief I feel by being near her.

The trepidation that gnawed on my being these past few days is soothed now, calmed by the presence of Cassandra’s wolf. I didn’t realize how much I was losing my mind ever since I decided to stay away from her after that slap.

To my surprise, it wasn’t because I was angry. In hindsight, I’m glad she knocked some sense into me. I had it coming, anyway. I’d been running my mouth on some foolish accusations, and I needed something to put my suspicions to rest.

Behind me, Cassandra treads quietly. She’s probably waiting for the ball to drop and her impending punishment for slapping the Alpha of the Moon Shine Pack.

Somehow, it doesn’t matter in the stillness of the night as we make our way toward the mountain. I know she’s cautious, maintaining her distance in fear that terror lurks behind my silence, my wrath ready to burst forth.

I pause and glance behind me, Cassandra stopping dead in her tracks.

“This won’t do, Cassie. You’re gonna have to at least pretend that you’re looking forward to this hunt.”

“R-right…” her mental voice is as hesitant as her cautious step forward. “ I’m not that hungry, I guess.”

“Is there a reason for your lack of appetite?” I quip as she briskly walks past me. As soon as the soft wind carries her scent over, the sweetness erupts in my airways, and the heightened sense of smell in wolf form adds to the intensity of the scent that’s so distinctly her.

“ N-no,” she hesitates, prompting me to open my eyes when they’d drifted closed of their own accord.

Huffing through my wolf nostrils, I shake my head. “ Like I said, this won’t do. You’re taking the lead on the hunt.” I take a step forward, rising to my full height in the powerful form of the Alpha to show her that this is a command. “ You’re gonna have to show me that you’re worth being called a Moon Shine wolf.”

Cassandra’s eyes widen, realization flashing in the light specks of brown. She’d been adamant about proving herself worthy of being back in the pack by joining patrols.

Now, she has to prove it to me, the Alpha.

“ Y-yes, Alpha,” she bows, her voice tentative as I take another step forward.

The little power I can hold onto without being distracted by her scent allows me to nudge her shoulder in the direction of the mountain.

“ Go!”

The single-worded command kicks her wolf into gear as she spins around and bolts toward the base of the mountain. Chuckling in my mind, a growl leaves my wolf lips as I give chase.

With one glance tossed over her shoulder, Cassandra realizes that I’m hot on her heels, and she runs faster. Meandering through the rocks, leaping over the ravine, and landing effortlessly, she’s quick and agile in wolf form.

Chasing close behind, I can’t help but be in awe of the wolf running ahead of me, nimbly avoiding obstacles and gracefully floating on paws that appear as light as feathers. With her ivory fur swaying with every movement, her wolf is timeless and marvelous as she begins the upward climb.

I can barely keep up with her energetic pace because I’m too caught up in my appreciation of her extraordinary beauty. I’ve been a wolf for twelve years now, and I’ve never truly appreciated the impressive nature of my species.

As Cassandra’s wolf reaches the top of the cliff, she lifts her grand head and howls toward the skies.

Spellbound by the magnificent she-wolf, I can barely form a thought coherent enough to remind me that we’re supposed to hunt. The task feels futile right now, and all I can concentrate on is her.

“ Alpha Cyrus…?” she whimpers when she turns and notices me stalking forward with seemingly calculated steps. They’re far from deliberate since I can barely think straight. All I’m fixated on is the she-wolf in front of me, no longer a geeky young girl but a woman now.

A grown woman in wolf form who drops her gaze and appears demure. If she was in human form, I know it would be rosy cheeks I’d be seeing.

As I stalk forward, my wolf retreats and gives way to my human with a pounding heart and adrenaline coursing through my veins and spurring every step on strong human feet. Cassandra’s ears perk up, and an unspoken command compels her to follow my lead and shift into her human form.

Our eyes meet beneath the soft glow of the crescent moon, the golden flecks in her eyes twinkling like a constellation of stars in the earthly depths. Mesmerized as if she’d just placed a spell on me, I find myself walking the short distance toward us until I feel the radiance of her body heat warm the air in front of me.

There’s something so soothing about the warmer air I breathe now, the sweet scent mellowing to my senses while adrenaline still pulses in my bloodstream and sets my heart into a rapid beat that magnifies Cassandra’s presence in my line of vision, her smooth skin glowing as if touched by the moon’s grace itself.

“Cassandra…” I breathe fluidly, as if her name is as natural on my tongue as the oxygen that flows down my throat.

“Alpha Cyrus…” she replies breathlessly as if it’s a cry for help.

A command that pulls me forward, drawing me so close that our auras amalgamate in the air, unified and filling me with a sense of wholeness. Yet, at the same time, it’s not nearly enough. Something is missing, and my fingers tingle with the need to feel it all.

Without thinking, I close the distance between us. If I do think, I’m afraid I’ll second-guess myself and not go ahead with what comes next naturally. What happens next is unthinkable when I crush my lips to hers. It’s a good thing that I’m not thinking, only feeling the soft, plush pillows of her lips that finally tie up the loose ends I’d been feeling, and now I feel whole.

She pulls away abruptly, and her eyebrows knit with stern confusion and accusation, all wrapped up in the parcel of her ethereal beauty. Her lips are parted, a million questions flashing through her eyes as she blinks rapidly.

My heart clenches with guilt, squeezed by the tendrils of regret that I’d just acted without thinking. But the more I let my mind wander further, the more I realize that this is exactly what I should do. Or what I need to do.

Taking a deep breath, I’m not sure what to say. I can’t apologize because I’d just be lying to Cassandra.

I’m not sorry for kissing her.

“Is this the part where you slap me?” I ask; the nervous chuckle that escapes me is an attempt at humor to break the ice wall between us.

I have no idea why I just kissed her or why my lips tingle with the remnants of her taste and align me to a desire that’s so strong, I can’t ignore it. It just feels… right.

Slowly, she shakes her head, the bewildered look in her eyes only mildly dissipating as she stares into my eyes.

“You're not gonna let that go, are you?” she asks tentatively.

I shake my head gently, hoping that I haven't frightened her.

“I can't let it go when I witnessed the nature of your passion, Cassandra,” I drawl. “There's a fire inside you that I can't stop thinking about.”

She gasps, her chest heaving with her escalating quick breaths. A moment of silence passes as she digests my statement, allowing me to give it some thought, too.

It's that fiery passion of her impulses that night that had her slapping me when I was out of line. It's something I can't stop thinking about it when it alludes to a deeper passion that rages within her. I'd merely glimpsed the suggestion of that passion, and it's left me restless to wonder if there's more.

There is so much more that I wish to uncover—a promise of discovering when she nods her head slowly and stares into my eyes.

“Then this is the part where I ask you to kiss me again,” she whispers so gently. It’s an invitation I can’t decline.

Not when her statement brings me relief and fuels the impulse to kiss her again. This time, with her consent, I slide my fingers over her cheek and gently pull her toward me.

This time, my mind is eased enough to pay close attention to the intricate details of the kiss. From the way her soft, plush lips meld to mine to the way she sighs on the kiss and permits me entry into the warm cave of her mouth.

When I pull her closer to deepen the kiss, her chest rises against mine, and her breasts push up against my midriff. I can feel the way her nipples harden behind her sweater. Her body betrays her if she is ever going to deny me. But her need for bodily exploration is evident when she breaks the kiss for air and stares up at me with heady, intoxicating lust, dark and hungry, while her lips are moist and swollen from our kiss.