Chapter 1 - Cassandra

The bus wobbled as we crossed the bridge, causing a slight upheaval for the handful of passengers occupying the seats in no specific order in front of me. A woman and her child, a couple, and two singles were spread out in the confines of the large vehicle. Their heads bob in front of me, the mild impact of disruption lifting my rear from the back seat, then sending me down with enough force to reaffirm the strong pull of the tight knots coiling in the pit of my belly.

I feel sick, bile rising like creepy, crawly tendrils of acidity up my throat. A hand flies over my mouth as a natural reflex while I mentally talk myself through this ride.

Closing my eyes, I take a few deep breaths to compose myself, opening them up only to look out the window. We’re almost over the bridge with its potholes and chipped tar marring the surface, the only consolation of a dreary road being the calm waters of Turkey Creek below it.

Even at its highest level, the sight of the full stream isn’t enough to compensate for the lack of maintenance in this part of the States. It neither eases my trepidation nor quells my deep longing for the city.

With every squeaky roll of the tires over loose stones and pebbles on the road, we inch further and further toward the small town of Mysthaven, Oklahoma. Every second that ticks by only serves to drive in my dread. I bite my bottom lip as I stare out the window just as we pass the congregation of orange oaks that act like open arms on either side of the small town’s entryway.

Great.

We’re here.

As the bus rolls to a halt just in front of the rusty road sign that reads “Mysthaven” in faded white paint, I take a deep breath.

“Mysthaven?” the bus driver calls out before the hydraulics on the bus door wheeze and blow out a puff of ancient smoke.

“Thanks…” I murmur as I head down the aisle, clutching the strap of my shoulder bag as if it’s the lifeline I need to step out of the bus. Once I hop off and lug my bag out of the baggage compartment on the side, I wait for the bus to roll away, revealing the main street of Mysthaven ahead of me.

The dusty dirt road ahead is the dry, dull welcoming of my arrival. Another deep breath fuels the little bit of energy I have left to cross the road and enter the hemisphere of the small town I grew up in. Outlined by mesh-wired fence along the farmland, the almost-ghost town is a painful reminder of why I left in the first place and why I hate the idea of being back.

Luckily for me, pulling the wheels of my bag along the sand road doesn’t alert the residents of my arrival. I’m able to slip away unnoticed, the broad daylight serving its purpose of taking most of the occupants of the small town out to the city for work. Approaching the plywood cottage near the woods, I sigh with mild relief as I carry my bag up the porch.

Setting it down, I stare at the door as the build-up of anxiety in my belly is replaced with a sinking feeling of grief. It’s been nine years since I came face to face with Mama’s hand-painted sign hanging on the door from a nail. Papa and I took turns hammering it into the frame. Despite the tears welling in my eyes, I giggle as I lift my hand to trace the words “Chikara Family” in pastel pink, painted over a horizon of blues and clouds brushed on the top.

Sighing with a heavy heart, I push open the front door that opens up to an empty house full of the scent of eucalyptus and sage. The smell of home wrestles my heart into a torrent of grief and longing because of its emptiness.

“Mama…” I whisper into the empty void as I step inside, walking into a piece of the past I thought I left behind for good. It's almost as if I can see the apparition of my younger self running around over the creaky floorboards, my youthful cheer echoing in my eardrums as if the sounds linger in the air.

I can't believe she's gone.

My shoulders droop as I close the door behind me and immerse myself in the wobbly walk down memory lane. Each step inside becomes the driving force of the tears rolling down my cheeks uncontrollably, my feet heavy as I drag myself to the living room.

I part the drapes to allow the sunlight in, grateful for the kiss of warmth on my cheeks as the only welcome I've received today. The cold air in the cottage begins to warm up, but a cold shiver courses down my spine as I turn to the now-illuminated room.

A wistful smile feebly lifts the corners of my mouth when I notice the bookshelf adorned with the souvenirs Mama collected all her life. Crossing the room, I can't help but feel proud of her collection of Japanese ceramics and folding fans displayed on the shelf. Each one represents her trips to the country, and each time, I sent her a ticket to visit me over the past few years.

My decision to leave the small town of Mysthaven opened up my pathway to success, then leading out of the country. But it was never my success that prevented me from visiting this place. Right now, gripped by the claws of regret, I wish I'd visited sooner. Despite the circumstances around my decision to leave in the first place, I wish I had the chance to hug my mother between the four walls of the only home she ever knew.

The one she poured all her love into. Even after Papa passed, Mama ensured I never felt his absence with every meal she cooked and every activity she planned for my sake. From fixing the bookshelf he built from scratch to painting the pictures hanging on the walls now, there was never a dull moment with her.

I hang my head with a sigh, taking a seat on the armrest of her favorite cashmere sofa as I look around. I never imagined that I'd be back here, and Mama made sure never to make me feel bad about my decision to leave this place. Ironically, she's the reason I'm back.

All because of that dreaded, life-changing call I received from an old friend a few days ago.

“ It’s Aunt Agatha, Cassie… She's gone…”

Even now, I can hardly believe it while I sit in the empty house where Mama's voice doesn't fill the air to call me for lunch or ask that I hang the washing outside. Two months ago, when she visited me in Tokyo, there wasn't any indication that she wouldn't make it to Fall. Her favorite time of the year was when the leaves turned orange and yellow and matched the setting sun.

All that's left is the memory of her smile as she danced in the backyard and crushed fallen leaves with her boots. I can't help but sob through the recollection of her free spirit and how supportive she was of my choices in life.

Watching her only child leave town for good couldn't have been easy. I'd begged her to come with me, but Mama was too attached to this place.

I don't blame her. After all, she'd grown up in this town, her Werewolf lineage tied to the Moon Shine Pack. On the other hand, I wasn't fortunate enough to experience the joys of the Moon Shine Pack that would keep me bound to this place.

I was different. Mama knew this. That's why she'd been supportive of my decision to leave. I was different when she found me one night in the library, not reading a book but running programs on a public computer. I was different when I was out chasing the stars instead of attending a pack meeting. Mama's look of disapproval was only an act for the sake of the Beta's son, who found me near the mountain and brought me back with my tail between my legs.

She had a good laugh as soon as we were alone.

“ You're a rebel, aren't you?” she giggled as soon as the door closed on his departure. “ What am I gonna do with you?”

“ Is there anything you can do, Mama?” I'd asked her playfully back then, to which she shook her head and proceeded to feed me dinner like the only one in the pack who truly understood me.

“I can only love you for who you are, Cassandra,” she said as she watched me with her chin resting in her palms. “ Just as I loved your Papa.”

I cross my arms over my chest and hug myself tightly, letting the floodgates of my grief flow down. I didn’t have the chance to see her before she passed, to feel the warmth of my mother’s arms around me one last time, or to be beside her bed and witness her loving smile. It happened swiftly, too quickly. All because it was her time.

For the second time in my life, I wish that being a werewolf meant we were immortal beings. But along with the ability to shift into wolf form comes the clause of still being vulnerable to a human’s life cycle.

First with Papa and now with Mama as well. This time, though, I'm on my own to deal with the effects of her death. To deal with the funeral of my mother, I have to bury my deep anger toward the pack.

Sniffing and wiping away my tears, I get to my feet on shaky knees, needing to take a moment to compose myself. I have to visit the mortuary and oversee the plans for Mama’s funeral in a few days. The small town of Mysthaven houses the Moon Shine Pack, and all the facilities are run by the members of the pack.

Soon, word of my return will go around. This is the part I’d been dreading the most. Having to face these werewolves again wasn’t something I’d been looking forward to.

Especially having to face one of the members of this society.

“You’re better than this,” I reassure myself with the only affirmation I can draw from my mind right now. I head to the bathroom, wash my face with the cool spring water that flows from the faucet from the depths of Mysthaven’s ground, and ready myself for my responsibilities.

Being back in town is a daunting task without my mother to shield me from the horrors that lurk outside. Without the naivety of my younger self, I’m highly aware of how I no longer fit in with the crowd.

As if I ever did! I chuckle scornfully as I pick my armor in the form of a golf ball-sized stone that Mama painted a butterfly on. Clutching it in a fist seems to soothe my nerves as I head out of the cottage and brace for the impact of being in territory I’d left behind nine years ago.

Walking down the streets of the small town, I catch glimpses of the past in my mind. Having to shake them off, I try to focus on the task in front of me as I pass by the main house.

The Alpha's house…

I shiver inside, hugging my arms over my chest as I suck in a breath.

Don't think about him… Don't think about him… I mantra mentally, not wanting to remind myself of the sole reason why I wasn't here when Mama passed away. The reason for leaving lives inside that double-story building with its pinewood windowsills and lavish curtains.

He's not worth my thoughts. Not worth the energy it would take to remember all the things he did to hurt me.

I know it's inevitable to cross paths with him eventually. For now, I can steer clear of him and take care of my responsibilities.

“Phew…” I breathe when I make it to the mortuary without being seen. I know that soon, my arrival will be a known fact in Moon Shine. I’m counting on my prior absence being overlooked. Or better yet, I’ll be as invisible as I was in the twenty years I’d spent growing up in this town.

Still, with my nerves shattered and jet lag hanging over me like a dark cloud, I inwardly thank the Moon Goddess for my nimble escape when I reach for the buzzer on the mortuary’s door.

“Who are you?”

The deep, commanding question has me freezing on the spot, the familiarity of that voice snatching the wind out of my lungs. It’s a voice I was hoping I wouldn’t hear today, bouncing around in my head like a marble in an empty can, leaving behind an eerie echo of looming dread.

Why, Moon Goddess? I mentally cry out. Isn't it enough that I lost my mother and that I'm back here again?

Like a deer caught in the headlights, I gulp and slowly turn on my heel, wincing and muttering a string of curses under my breath.

“Cassandra?!” the voice of doom asks in a confused tone.

I have to draw every ounce of courage within me to lift my gaze and meet the piercing eyes of the man behind that voice. Another breath catches in my throat when those accusing eyes turn soft, and for a hot moment, I forget all about my hatred for him.

Not only am I faced with my perpetrator, but I’m faced with the terrible truth that he’s still as strikingly handsome as he was before. The only difference is that the nine years have been good to him, and maturing with a sculpted beard across his immaculate jawline has only added to his allure.

Why does it even matter? I think glumly.

“Cyrus…” I mutter in disbelief, my heart skipping a beat when green, emerald eyes narrow at me. I’d hoped I was strong enough to rebuke the intrusive thoughts about the handsome devil. Thoughts that should have been buried for good when he hurt me come crashing to the surface, throwing me for a loop.

He takes a step forward, and I’m instantly aware of the familiar scent of wood and citrus—a scent that hasn’t changed as if it radiates from the pores of his skin. The last time I ever caught a whiff of that smell, I’d been so humiliated that it prompted my decision to leave.

The man solely responsible for my departure from Mysthaven, my abandonment of the pack I was born into, and having to detach from the mind link that haunted me for months after I’d left. He’s standing right before me now, his presence unearthing all the heartbreak I’d endured. The silence between us only allows my mind to drift into a memory I thought I’d gotten rid of for good.

***

Nine Years Ago

Absentmindedly running the tip of my forefinger across my new braces, I stare at the computer screen with one hand hovering above the keys.

A few mental calculations later, I vigorously tap on the keyboard, a self-satisfied smirk growing on my lips.

“Aha!” the celebratory sound leaves my lips as I kick my feet under the desk. I just cracked the biggest code of my life, and now I’m in the database of one of the largest social media applications available.

Biting my bottom lip, I lace my fingers and crack my knuckles, simultaneously cracking my neck to get ready for a wild night of uncovering encrypted messages and having a good time laughing over other people’s problems.

I’d much rather do that than have to face my own…

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

My eyes widen with horror as I catch the sight of an imposing silhouette through the computer screen. Gulping, I slowly turn in the swivel chair behind the desk, mentally preparing for what comes next.

This isn’t my first rodeo with the Alpha’s son. Still, his words of disdain never fail to hit the nails of my troubles on the head. As he stands towering above me at six feet tall, his narrowed eyes of contempt throw daggers my way.

“I asked—”

“I’m just doing research…” I mumble as I nimbly hit the exit button on the keyboard. The last thing I need is for the Alpha’s son to figure out that I’ve been hacking into guarded systems from the sanctity of the Mysthaven library.

Cyrus rolls his eyes as he scoffs with a light chuckle. “What a nerd…” he sneers, crossing his arms on his chest. Though he isn’t Alpha yet, he sure is a strict dictator who doesn’t have to use his voice for me to get to my feet and bow my head.

“... I see you’ve learned your lesson,” he comments with a grunt, referring to the other night when a bonfire party became my biggest nightmare. Cyrus Rudolph, the Alpha’s son, had a ball throwing crude remarks at me. It had come as a surprise when I found myself watching the flames lick at the twigs all alone.

Cyrus had approached me, beer in hand, musing over the beauty of fire despite its dangers. That was when his friends came along and jabbed at us for being caught alone again. That's when he shifted gears and made fun of my weight in front of everyone.

When I opened my mouth to defend myself, he was quick to remind me that I was a nobody in the pack and that he was the future Alpha of Moon Shine. His birthright demanded my respect, and I was left with my head hanging while his friends laughed about my weight.

It’s not usual for a she-wolf to be as curvy as I am.

“What were you researching?” he asks, raising a quizzical brow.

“I—er—” I glance at the computer, a wave of relief washing over me when it's the home screen I peek at. “I was just looking into Moon Shine lore…” I lie, a blush creeping up my face when I notice his little smirk.

It's almost as if he's impressed.

“Moon Shine lore, huh?” he snickers. “Any interesting facts you can tell me about?”

I frowned, not sure if he was about to mock me if I said something. Instead, when I purse my lips, Cyrus unfolds his arms and comes closer. Swept up in the distinct scent of the cologne he's always wearing, the citrus notes have me losing my train of thought altogether.

I hate that he has this effect on me. Every time we're alone, I seem to forget that in the presence of other Moon Shine members, he's quick to make fun of me.

It's not fair!

“Cassie…?” he presses, leaning in so far that I can smell the minty notes on his breath.

Goddess! This is infuriating!

“—er—” I fumble, rummaging through my brain to find something, anything that might interest him. “M-Moon Shine has a-always had only one son b-born to the Alpha.”

“Hm…” he hums. “Interesting… I bet I'm gonna change that.”

His devilish grin causes my heart to skip a beat when he doesn't remove his eyes from me. He is watching me intently, almost as if he's gauging my reaction.

It doesn't help that I have no control over my reaction when my cheeks burn with heat.

“I s-suppose you c-can,” I stammer.

“I guess we'll just have to give it a try,” he smirks.

The way he stares at me with the piercing beads of his emerald gems for eyes has me mentally questioning my entire existence. What is he implying? Why does his gaze flicker to my lips?

Why does my heart skip too many beats to render it almost impossible that I'm still standing?

“What are you two doing here all alone, huh?” Jarrod, Cyrus's best friend, pokes his head out from behind him with a hand on his shoulder.

I didn't even realize that Jarrod had come into the library. I'd been too caught in a daze of the Alpha's son, swooning over him again.

“N-Nothing…” I mumble, stepping back until the edge of the desk trenches my rear.

“Oh, I was just telling Cassie how she shouldn't be stuck in this chair all night,” Cyrus calmly explains as he folds his arms again. Lost is that glint of the unknown in his eyes, replaced by a glint of humor.

Was he just messing with me?

I don't believe this! Once again, I'd been foolish enough to think that he was interested in me.

“... If she's ever gonna lose a few pounds, she'll have to get out more,” Cyrus chuckles, to which Jarrod joins him in laughter.

I stare at Cyrus in disbelief. There it was again, a repetition of the other night and every other time we'd been caught alone. For a moment, I thought he was different. But while they laugh and titter about my weight as if I don't have any feelings, it's like the man I glimpsed a few seconds before Jarrod's arrival is gone.

I can't take it anymore. Just when I thought he was different, he had to prove me wrong. While the last bit of my courage depletes, all I can count on is the sudden urge to leave.

This prompts me to storm past Cyrus, unwilling to take more of him, belittling me in front of other members of the pack. He always does this!

Just as I'm about to round the corner and exit the library, I hear Jarrod ask Cyrus, “When will you two just get a room?”

I pause on my way out, waiting for Cyrus's response. Deep down, I want to hear his reply. I want to know if I'm not making things up in my head when I glimpse something else. A tiny flicker of hope is all that keeps me there, eavesdropping on his next words.

Perhaps I'm hoping that his constant mockery is because he actually likes me. It's far-fetched, I know. But the silly crush I've had on him ever since I was a little girl has turned into hope that he could see me as something more.

A potential mate…

Someone who can hold the kind of deep conversations we'd often find ourselves having whenever we're alone. It's like he's a different person on those occasions. Like he's hiding his true self.

“Me and Cassie?” Cyrus scoffs. “There could never be anything between us, Jay! Have you seen her? She's not fit for an Alpha like me!”

Just like that, my heart sinks. There's no way Cyrus Rudolph could be anything but a brute! He's playing mind games with me—games I refuse to play anymore.

I'm not a punching bag he can manipulate. Just because I'm a she-wolf in his pack doesn't mean he's allowed to handle me any way he wants to.

Unless…

Marching down the hallway, I suddenly have an idea. If I'm no longer in his pack, he can't abuse me with his words. If I leave, I'll forever be rid of his ridicule, forever rid of these conflicting, unwarranted feelings that have me wondering if there's anything more between us.

I have to speak to Mama. Tell her that the library computer isn't interesting enough and that I have to leave Mysthaven to pursue my interests.

I thought Mysthaven would suffice. I was wrong. Being bullied by the future Alpha of this pack isn't worth wasting my life. I'm better than this. I deserve better.