Chapter 4 - Flynn

I run a hand over my head, the short hairs prickling my palm as if I’m pinching myself back to reality. Still, I find that I remain staring out at the small town as pack members close up the trading market for the night, unable to focus on any particular stall.

It’s almost as if I’m searching for something that isn’t there. Or someone. Not knowing who sends a shiver down my spine, relief only washing over me at the familiarity of the scene below.

I’ve just arrived, and already my father caught wind of my early return and called me to his study. So much for a surprise—but then again, there’s little we can keep hidden from the current Alpha of the Blood Moon Pack. By now, the others must know that we’ve returned, and are probably waiting to greet me.

Even now, I barely feel the need to rush out to meet the friends I left behind two years ago. Perhaps I have felt this way since meeting Lila in the woods, where she didn’t seem too excited to see me.

It’s not like I can blame her for her reaction. Or mine, when I saw her for the first time in two years. There’s something different about her, and it’s not just the haircut I noticed. I preferred her longer waves, cascading off her shoulders and billowing out behind her back whenever the wind breezed by. It suited her plump frame, though now her ample curves are no longer hidden, her voluptuous bust swelling proudly with every inhale.

I sigh to myself, gulping back the surge of awareness that threatens to corrupt my mind. The only thing that hasn’t changed is how drawn I feel toward her. I thought that with my time away and the rigorous training we endured, I’d finally be able to put to rest that insanely strong urge to be close to her. I was wrong.

What I hadn’t been anticipating was her coldness toward me. Even when we hugged, I felt her tensing in my arms and knew that she must have been sorely mistaken when she uttered the word “mate” to me two years ago in the exact spot.

Perhaps she’s come to her senses and realized how absurd her claim was. I mean, it’s already preposterous that I feel any inclination toward her. She’s just a wolf-less Omega, and couldn’t possibly be an Alpha-blood’s mate.

I may not be the firstborn of the Lycoan family, but it’s still Alpha blood that runs through these veins that suddenly pulse with awareness. I glance down at the town below and decide that the pulsing must be caused by the warm air in Zafra.

Not because of my racing thoughts about Lila, of course. That would be crazy!

I didn’t realize how much I’d been missing home until we returned to Zafra. With its picturesque gardens and vintage buildings spread around, it’s no wonder that Blood Moon has been self-sufficient for most of its existence. When our forefathers first settled in the small town many generations ago, they knew that with natural springs and fertile land, we’d never have to partake in the system created by mankind.

We’d never even needed the aid of other werewolf packs in the Oklahoma region. When the Blood War broke out in the 1700s, the neighboring packs had become sworn enemies. My brother, Finch, had attempted to grow relations with the other packs, but he’d failed and lost his life.

Now, with the unknown threat on werewolf packs in the vicinity, we’ll be forced to form alliances with our neighbors. I begrudgingly grunt under my breath, wondering what the fate of Blood Moon will be once this happens.

“You’re back already,” Father calls from behind, prompting me to turn on the balcony and set forward into the study.

“Yes, Father,” I dip my head in a curt bow. “We thought we might come home a little earlier. To surprise everyone.”

“Well, your mother will surely be surprised,” my father chuckles as he steps behind his desk. “We were only expecting you later tonight. Have a seat, son.” He gestures to the chair across his desk.

It’s not much for a warm welcome home. I scoff under my breath as I join him at the desk. I don’t know what I was expecting, except that it might have been more than just jumping right into business as my father opens up a binder on his desk.

“The treaty has already been signed by five packs around Oklahoma,” he says, opening up to the last page and pushing the binder across the desk. I lean in, deciding to ignore the looming desire to speak about all that’s happened in Ouachita. Father doesn’t seem interested to hear about my time away, filling me with disappointment.

He’s not the only one who hasn’t shown a keen interest in my arrival, and it makes me feel pathetic.

Brushing aside those personal feelings, I read the names on the list, stopping when I stumble upon a familiar name.

“Nightclaw…?” I gasp in horror, lifting wide eyes at my father, who appears oddly calm as he shrugs.

“Yes,” he agrees with a curt nod. “The Nightclaw Pack has a new Alpha, Dorian Walker.”

My heart thuds uncontrollably in my chest as my hands form fists on the table. I can’t believe what I’m hearing or seeing on the signed treaty.

“Father…this can’t be right.” I refuse to believe it, shaking my head fervently. “You know what Dorian did to Finch.”

Father sighs, dropping his head. “His only crime was leaving your brother behind to find help, Flynn.”

I shake my head uncontrollably, anger brewing in my chest. “It’s an unforgivable crime, Father. He could have stayed and fought to save Finch. He could have carried him here, and you know that.”

“Leave the past where it remains, Flynn. We have greater concerns that need our attention right now.”

As the anger simmers inside, I reach for a pen, huffing through flared nostrils as I’m about to sign on the dotted line beside my name. It’s already printed in bold on the contract, awaiting my signature.

Forget the real cause for the alliance—Dorian Walker is someone I can’t trust. He’s the one who left my brother in the valley and did nothing to save him.

I’ve always had my suspicions that Dorian had something to do with his sudden death. If this is my chance to uncover the truth, I’m determined to get into this alliance as soon as possible.

“Wait, Flynn. You can’t sign yet,” Father stops me.

I look up from the contract and frown. “Why not? My name is already here.”

Father begins to shake his head, regretfully sighing. “Only the Alphas of each pack are meant to sign the treaty. You haven’t stepped into your role yet, son.”

“I’m ready, Father.”

“Of course you are,” he agrees with a nod. “That’s why I called you back. It’s time you took your place as the Alpha of this pack. But some traditions must be fulfilled before you take the title. You will have to perform the rites of the mating ceremony to step into the role of Alpha of this pack.”

I blink in disbelief, even if it’s not something that comes as a surprise. One of Blood Moon’s oldest rules calls for the Alpha-in-line to perform the rites of the mating ceremony before he can be fully considered the Alpha of the pack. It’s a rule set in place to ensure the legacy of the Alpha is continued, while he leads with his female counterpart to serve as the Luna of the pack.

An Alpha isn’t a ruler on his own, the book of Blood Moon, the Grime, suggests.

“I have already spoken to Graig,” Father continues. “Naturally, the Delta’s daughter is a suitable choice as your mate.”

“Cynthia…?” I look up, horrified, when I notice how delighted he seems, a smile on his face.

“She is your choice, isn’t she?” The smile slips off his face and he frowns.

“I—” I’m unable to voice my reluctance, afraid that I’ll disappoint my father. Living in Finch’s shadow, I’ve learned not to question any decisions made on my behalf.

That’s why I’m surprised when Father sighs and steeples his fingers on the desk, leaning closer. He doesn't appear disappointed like I thought he would be. He seems concerned, his brows furrowed.

“Look, son,” he begins, “I don’t want to force you into anything you don’t want to do. Especially not when it comes to your choice of mate.”

“Really?” I ask in disbelief.

“Yes,” he nods briskly. “The mating rite remains the most sacred event in a werewolf’s life. It’s a decision you must make not only for the pack but for yourself. The Luna of this pack must be someone you trust, someone who will lead beside you and strengthen your reign.”

I nod slowly, considering his advice while simultaneously weighing my options. It should feel like a privilege to have options, especially for an Alpha in our pack. Unlike Finch, I’m not pressured to find my fated mate—a mate ordained to me by the Moon Goddess Herself.

I’m not the firstborn in the Lycoan family. With a lineage as strong and unique as ours, the firstborn of a true-blooded Lycoan Alpha is usually in line to find his fated mate, something so extraordinarily powerful that a special power is gifted to the chosen Alpha. Usually, it’s the gift of telepathy that extends further than their own pack, a mind link that can be shared with other packs. Or, it’s the gift of visions, a strong sense of clairvoyance that allows the Alpha to use his senses to have visions of any impending threats.

The mystical gift has skipped two generations already. Finch grew up with the firm belief that his fated mate was out there, and he would receive the gift that neither Father nor Grandfather received. That’s why he was determined to make friends with the others, in case his fated mate was amongst an enemy pack.

Now that he’s gone, there is no hope for that gift touching my generation. Father hasn’t breathed a word of it, but I know that deep down, it fills him with disappointment that a long line of powerful Alphas ended when Finch died. As the second-born son, I don’t have such greatness, and wouldn’t pass the special gift down to the next line of Lycoans.

That’s why it doesn’t matter who I pick as my mate. All that matters is that I rule the Blood Moon Pack with honor, with the inability to live up to Finch.

If Father was content with me picking Cynthia as my mate, he must have very good reason to consider her.

She is, after all, his Delta’s only daughter. It would make sense to pick her as my mate since she knows more about the pack laws and methods than any other she-wolf in the Blood Moon.

Who better to pick as my mate than Cynthia Warren?

Fated mate, my inner wolf voice chimes faintly in my mind, prompting me to frown as I try listening closer. Mentally, I scoff. Of course, a fated mate would have been ideal. But I’m not destined for one. My inner wolf says nothing more, leaving me to mull over its comment before brushing off the notion.

It’s not as though the second son of the Alpha and Luna can form a fated mate-bond. That’s something my brother would have experienced if he was still alive. I, as the second-born child, will never taste something so divinely orchestrated.

“I understand, Father,” I relent with a nod as I push the binder back toward him. “Let us settle on the matter soon, so that I may sign the treaty and fix Blood Moon’s alliance with the others.”

Father nods. “It is settled, then. We will call for a meeting with haste. Though they have allied, the Oklahoma packs have yet to uncover who or what the threat is. I have faith in you, son, to bring about justice to our kind.”

A moment of deep, introspective silence passes as I stare at my father in disbelief. With his slowly receding hairline and sinking eyes, he’s becoming older and perhaps more compassionate than I knew him to be two years ago. Perhaps he’s becoming more like his father, Grandfather Tomas, than he wishes to believe. Over the years, I’d often picked up on the strained relationship between the two men and figured they had their own share of disagreements when Father took Grandfather’s position as the Alpha of Blood Moon.

I only hope that I can be half the Alpha either of them were, and lead Blood Moon with the reverence and courage they both carry.

That’s why I can’t make any mistakes. That’s why I have to pick my mate with my pack’s safety and well-being in mind.

That’s why I call out to Cynthia through a mind link, only to find out that she’s throwing a party for the soldiers in the woods.

***

“I hope you like this…” Cynthia drawls as she slides her palms up my chest to drape her arms over my shoulders.

A strange sense of repulsion tugs at my heartstrings, prompting me to tense up and lift the beer bottle to my lips in an attempt to distract myself.

“I know the others think the party’s for them, but it’s mostly for you,” she purrs, seductively batting her eyelids at me as she licks her lips. “For us, in fact.”

“U-us?” I almost choke on my beer, the term unsettling.

“Yeah,” she smiles, cupping my cheek and sending a shiver down my spine. “Since we’re gonna be mates, I thought we might as well celebrate it, along with your return to Zafra.”

“Cynthia, I—”

“Shh…” she presses a finger to my lips and compels me to silence. “I know you just got back and stuff, but look.” She turns toward the bonfire crackling a few meters ahead, where the Blood Moon soldiers mingle with Cynthia’s friends. “Everyone’s so happy to have you back. They’d be elated to hear that you’ve picked me as your mate.”

I perk up a brow when panic rises out of nowhere. “You haven’t told anyone yet, have you?”

Cynthia giggles as she turns back to me. “Of course not. I figured you’d want to announce it tonight.”

“Tonight?”

“Yo, Flynn!” Miles calls out to me from near the bonfire. “The ladies wanna hear about that time you fought a bear in Ouachita!”

Seizing my escape, I yell out, “Be there in a sec.” I pull away from Cynthia, with nothing but an “Excuse me,” leaving her to follow me to the bonfire.

Recounting the tale of the bear brings about hearty laughter and eyes full of amazement, yet witnessing everyone’s reaction isn’t as satisfying as I thought it would be.

The night after I tussled with the bear that almost ripped through the campsite and walked away victorious, I dreamed about the awe and wonder I’d see in a particular set of blue eyes.

That pair of eyes is nowhere to be found now. It was a silly thing to wish for, especially since those timid eyes would sheepishly look away when I told the story. She’d be hiding behind her brother or her friend, pretending to be looking at something while her ears turned pink to indicate that she was listening to my every word.

The absence of those marveling eyes and blushing ears is a void I feel profoundly tonight.

When Cynthia comes over and slides her arm through mine, I tense up again. Her touch should serve as a distraction, as it always did in the past, but right now, it churns my stomach.

She leans in by my ear, the warmth of her breath unsavory on my skin. “That was quite a story, honey. Now, are you gonna announce our mate bond?”

I pull back to stare at her in disbelief. “Now?”

She nods with a smug smile on her face, prompting me to grab her arm and pull her away from the crowd. Once we’re out of earshot of the others, I release her arm abruptly.

“Are you stupid, Cynthia?!” I scold. “You know this isn’t the time or place for that.”

“Yeah, but—”

“But what?!” I suddenly roar, taking a warning step forward and glaring at her. “You know better than anyone that Blood Moon has rules that we have to follow. A mate bond isn’t announced at some spontaneous bonfire party.”

“Woah…calm down, honey.” She attempts to subdue me by reaching out a hand toward my face, but I slap her wrist to shove her away.

“No. I will not calm down, Cynthia,” I grate out through gritted teeth, narrowing my eyes at the redhead who I can’t stand to be around right now. I have no idea what’s come over me, but just know that I can’t even stomach the sight of her face. “You’re the one who needs to calm down and put this mate bond thing to rest until the time is right.”

With that, I spin on my heel and set my sights on the shadowed forest, marching toward the trees while ignoring her attempts to call out after me. That adamant need to get as far away as possible has me shifting as soon as I pass the first pine tree, my wolf taking the reins as I surrender my anger and frustration to the powerful, mystical being of soft fur.

My mind empties of any thoughts as my large paws carry me forward in a steady jog, leaving behind only a faint ringing in my ears.

An awfully familiar sound, hauling me into a memory of a time when I heard the same thing in my mind. A memory I thought I’d buried, one filled with deep remorse.

The day I found Lila at the dam and locked eyes with her two years ago, when she murmured a single word that had my world crumbling around me. That’s the only other time I’d ever felt as if my brain cells were being strung like the chords of a guitar, over and over again, leaving behind a resonant sound that echoes in my eardrums. Except now, the waves of ringing serve to spur my every step as I jog further into the woods, a dull ache in my chest commanding my pulse until I find myself in front of Lila’s cabin.

Why I'm here is the only question I have, while the reply from my inner wolf continues in the form of the ache in my chest, as if my heart is about to bust out of the confines of the wolf’s strong ribcage. My nostrils flare as I catch a whiff of something sweet in the air, the scent appealing to my senses like the finest catch I’m about to make.

My eyes search the cabin as if I’m on the prowl for my next fresh meal, my breath hitching when I spot Lila’s short silhouette outlined in the ivory organza veiling the window. Hiding in the shadows, I let out the breath I’ve been holding, instantly feeling a wave of relief wash over my wolf.

The ringing doesn’t stop. Neither does the nagging pull in my chest as I watch her flit around the kitchen, nor the sweet fragrance filling my airways. My claws dig into the soil as an aching desire to have all five senses quenched rages on.

Touch and taste are missing right now, and my senses are going into overdrive.

What is this?

These feelings must mean something, though I’m not sure what it is. It’s absurd to believe that it’s any more than just base desire, being attracted to her ample curves and wanting to bury my face in her luscious bosom.

Huffing to dismiss the heinous thoughts racing through my mind, I try clearing my head to focus on what my instincts really mean.

Perhaps I’m here because I’m meant to speak to her, to apologize for what I did before. By rejecting her in front of Cynthia and her friends, I only made her life more difficult. That’s why she’s turned cold to me.

I’m about to become Alpha, and I can’t leave any loose ends untied. I have to go up there and speak to her and put to rest the past, when I was foolish and immature, so that I can fully rise to my role as Alpha.

Mentally, my wolf snickers, as if mocking me for my logic. That’s when I decide to release the wolf and shift into human form. I straighten up, taking a deep breath as I lift one foot to step forward into the dim light when I spot Lila retreating to her bedroom. My pulse races as she slips off her gown to reveal the contours of her curves in a night dress.

I slip deeper into the shadows, watching her every move like a thief in the night. Quickly averting my gaze when the straps of her nightdress fall off her shoulders, I gulp and stop myself from turning back to watch the rest of the show.

Staring blankly into the woods, I let a shiver run through me. “You’re Flynn Lycoan, dammit!” I deride under my breath, fists curling at my sides. “You’re about to be the Alpha of Blood Moon. You’re above this.”

That means that I don’t owe the Omega an apology. Even if she’s my best friend’s sister, the time has come for me to be the Alpha of this pack. I can’t lose any sense of self-control that I’ve worked hard to build, even if the dull ache in my chest still pulls me to turn back. Whatever it is, I thought I felt for Lila, it's only a base urge that can be curbed with the power residing in me thanks to the Alpha-blood in my veins.

Even if my instincts tell me to turn back, I know that I cannot cave. No mistakes can be made, for the greater good of the pack.