Chapter Twenty-Four

Alow growl escaped me as I paced back and forth in front of the golden building where Ayden was.

I hated it when he was right. I hated it even more when I had to admit it to myself that he was right.

My reactions to fear were potentially deadly for me or the people around me. My fear had nearly gotten him killed already.

Still, that voice haunted my thoughts and filled my nights with nightmares this last week. The only time I could chase away the fears was when I held his hand. Just as the bond had forced the voice out of my head, the touch of skin to skin with my mate chased away the nightmares.

"I hate that I need him like this," I growled to myself.

The back of my neck burned where my birthmark sat. A sense of being watched coming over me.

I jerked my head behind where several similar buildings to the one we had taken refuge in sat. The doorway was darkened with the sun to the back of the building. Empty as far as I could tell by looking at it. But I could feel eyes on me all the same.

"Is someone there?" I called out. "Rory? Baer?"

I sniffed the air, but there was no scent, yet the back of my neck continued to prickle and sting like an alarm bell going off that something wasn't right.

"Do you see anything?" I asked my wolf.

‘No,'she replied with a low growl. ‘Just shadows," she paused,' wait.'

My knees bent into a crouch as I saw what she had. Movement in the shadows. Confirmation that something was there.

I was creeping closer for a better look when the door behind me crashed open, and laughter filled the air.

"Baer," Rory laughed heartedly. "That tickles!"

"What does?" he reached out. "Oh, you mean this," he responded before grabbing at her waist and covering her neck and cheek with kisses.

They hadn't noticed me just yet as they fell into far too much activity than I had ever wanted to see my cousin involved in. I turned back to look at the building's doorway, only to find the shadows not as dark as they had been before. The sense of a presence in the air no longer hung over me either.

Whatever, or whoever, had been there was now gone, taking with them the shadows and the sting of my birthmark.

"Oh gosh! Sash! How long have you been standing there?" Rory gasped as she finally noticed me.

I reluctantly looked back at the two of them, the shadowless doorway still in the corner of my eye.

"A lot longer than you two have been," I told her.

"Is Ayden okay?" she asked with concern. "His wounds didn't seem to be any worse from when I had checked on him."

Baer followed as she stepped towards me, his own brows drawn in the same concern as my cousin's.

"He's fine," I said. "He is just a-okay."

My voice held a bit of sarcasm as I said that to them, my gaze drifting back to the doorway of the other building just to see if the shadows might darken again. A part of me hoping that it was all just an illusion of the sun and natural shadows playing tricks on my eyes. That maybe that shadowy presence had never been there at all, and it was just a figment of my imagination.

Even as I hoped for all that, I knew it was bullshit. Something had been there. Even my wolf could feel its presence.

Rory glanced at her mate. "Give us a minute," Rory said, then her head bobbed towards the door where we had been staying.

Baer nodded and pressed a quick kiss to her forehead as I watched. I crossed my arms over my chest, squeezing myself as I prepared myself for Rory's next line of questions.

"What did he say this time?" she asked bluntly the moment the door closed behind Baer.

"What do you mean?" I asked back to avoid the question.

"You know exactly what I mean, Sash, the last time you were upset like this was because he told you that you might be the evil one. And now you were attacked by a griffin, and he just woke up from that attack and here you are outside, clearly upset. So, again, what did he say to you this time?"

I chuckled to myself darkly. I ran my hand through my hair, then over my face, before turning to look at my cousin.

"Nothing he said was untrue," I told her. "I was under attack. The griffin was right there, I could see murder clearly in those bird eyes, and I froze. I froze up just like I froze up with the wisps, and this time it nearly cost my mate's life. And the truth behind all of that is even harder for me to come to terms with."

"What do you mean? People freeze up in fear all the time. It's not that big of deal." Rory tried to argue with me.

"No," I shook my head and hugged myself tighter. "You know just as well as I do that people like us don't freeze up. We don't run, we don't freeze, we fight. My parents wouldn't have frozen up. They would have fought. Gran and Gramps wouldn't have hesitated for a minute to fight back against any danger that they faced. Especially if that danger effected those they cared so much about. You! You would have fought! But I froze."

I pressed both of my hands to my face as I growled. Not at Rory, but at myself.

"Ever since coming to this place I have failed in every moment of showing my true leadership and strength. That just goes to show that I am not the person we all thought I was. A leader doesn't freeze up. A leader fights and protects. But the only one showing that alpha spirit against the griffin had been Ayden."

"Stop that," Rory scolded me. "You had fight in your eyes. I saw it from where I stood on the other side of the griffin. So, what if you hesitate to use that fight? You learn from the mistake. No one died, so the lesson only leaves you with more than you started with."

"You are right about that," I said, my gaze turned back to the door across the way. "I'm coming out of this with an entirely new view on who I am."

"That's a good thing," Rory said quickly. She stepped in front of me and blocked my view of the building. "Like I said, you are coming out of this with more than you started with."

I looked at her and frowned. "What if the new knowledge isn't a good thing?"

"Learning something new about yourself is always a good thing. It shows that we are growing as individuals. To always be learning and growing like that even as you age is a beautiful gift to have."

"What if I'm learning that I'm not as good as I thought I was?" I stared at my cousin deep in her eyes that almost matched my own. "My first instinct to fight the griffin hadn't been to pull on my magic or my wolf, Rory. I wanted to use that same dark magic I used against the kelpie. That darkness is still in me, and it still tempts me with the power behind it. That is the real reason the griffin targeted."

Rory scoffed. The sound was a mixture of amusement and disbelief. As I looked back at her, the amusement fell from her eyes and her lips tightened.

"Alright," she said, her voice stiffening. "Say that you are filled with so much darkness and evil like you keep thinking. If you have all that inside you, then why the hell are you so hell bent on stopping the darkness? Why has it become your life mission to finish what our parents started all those years before we were born?"

I shrugged.

"You don't know?" Rory pressed on. "Because I know the answer to it. It's pretty fucking obvious to me actually."

She waited again for me to respond, but all I could do was stare off at the empty buildings as I hugged myself tighter.

Rory stepped back into my view. Our eyes locked as she forced me to focus on her.

"You. Are. Not. Evil." She said, each word punctuated into the air between us. "You're a protector. For not just those you care personally for, but for the entire world. That is the truth and the reason we are here now. Even if you might have some darkness inside you, it's not enough to block out the light that shines within your heart and illuminates that beautiful soul. A soul that shows everyone exactly who you are."

I stared back at her, my arms loosening over my chest as her words settled in my heart. She smiled as she seemed to recognize that she struck a chord in me, her hands outstretched to me in an invitation.

"If you want proof that you are a fighter, then fight those dark thoughts. Fight like an alpha."

I fell into her embrace, smiling as a stray tear fell down my cheek and Ayden's words that had carried the same message now joined my cousin's. Funny how hearing them from my cousin now seemed to burn a new fire inside me.

I was a goddamned warrior princess, and I would fight my demons off like the alpha I was.