Chapter Ten

Laying in my tent, I stared up at the view through the netting, my eyes gazing at the stars as I went over my conversation with Ayden.

It was surreal to me. The fact that not only had I opened up to him where I had refused to do so for Rory, but also that he had believed me. He had believed me about the voice in my head and he even encouraged me to push back against it and not allow it to paralyze me with fear.

He had been so adamant that it wasn't my nature to bow down to any danger. Especially one that had been created in my own head, and God help me, his words had been far more encouraging than I had ever expected from anyone.

My smile began to fade as I thought more about the encounter. My mind shifted to the prophecy I had received about us. It warned of darkness surrounding him and our paths being those of enemies on opposite sides.

If Ayden was destined for so much darkness, then why did his words of encouragement bring so much light to the darkness I had felt around that voice in my mind? Why would he even bother to encourage me at all, to be the best version of myself if he was the evil I would someday have to face off with?

What if the prophecy had been all wrong?

My good mood began to fall at the thought.

What if I was the one who would be surrounded by darkness? What if the prophecy had been a warning of the danger that I would impose on the world?

‘Hush, Sasha,'my wolf said. ‘You can't think that way.'

"That's easier said than done," I replied out loud. "But the prophecy spoke of darkness, and it named both Ayden and me. There isn't any mistake as to who is involved. Just a question as to which of us will fall into the darkness."

‘You are being ridiculous, Sasha. When have you ever done anything that can be deemed evil?'

"I have a mysterious voice in my head that told me how to kill those wisps back in the forest," I argued.

‘And how is that evil? You used that knowledge to help the others.'

"But I didn't do anything else to help after that!"

I felt my heart begin to pound against my ribs and my breathing becoming shorter as I took heaving breaths to fill my lungs.

"Ayden didn't hesitate to help me though. He held me and fought off the wisps with one hand. I didn't even fight back when that one latched onto me. It wasn't even hurting me. I lost no blood in that entire fight."

I felt the tent begin to shrink around me, my clothes somehow feeling too tight around my neck.

‘Sasha, calm down. Breathe.'My wolf tried to calm me as my panic set in.

"What if Ayden was all wrong? What if I'm not as strong as he believes I am? What if my destiny is to lead them all over a cliff and watch them all perish?" I pulled at my collar as sweat beaded along my forehead. "I should never have come on this mission. I was wrong to believe that I was the good guy in all this."

I couldn't hear my wolf's voice, though I knew she was trying to tell me I was wrong. But how could I not be right?

Between Ayden and me, he was the one most likely to put himself in the line of danger. Between him and me, he had been the one who thought of all our safety through the forest. And between us both, it has been him who lent us a hand in our mission, when he could have gone off without us the moment we crossed the portal into the forest.

He was completely selfless, whereas I only had been thinking about my wants and needs in our mission.

It was me who insisted on following Uncle Brady's research when Rory and Baer had discovered it. They were fine to just let it go as Brady had done, but I had insisted we complete it where he had left off. It was me who convinced them both that it was The Fates who led them to the books and journals so that we could finish what he had started. And it had been me who hid the entry that marked the end of his research with the visit to the Goddess's home and their warning for him to step back from his search.

And for what? To prove myself worthy of taking over the leadership of my family's pack from my mother? To make a name for myself as the one who saved the world from darkness?

It was all selfish. Nothing I had done, up until now, has been anything but a step to getting what I wanted over the safety of anyone involved.

Wasn't that the making of any good villain? To be so focused on their goals that they would do anything and everything to get what they want, despite the consequences.

I thought back to the wisps. The way they drew out the other's blood. The way Rory's blood had pooled into floating ruby orbs before her, only to be devoured by the creature in front of her.

I had led her to that point. She never would have even known what a blood wisp was if not for me dragging her into all of this. And what other dangers would she be facing because of me?

My thoughts moved again to Ayden. He wasn't out here for his own gain. He didn't bring anyone with him on his mission, either.

He was out here searching for his uncle's magic, and he was taking on the burden of the dangers all on his own. He was everything that a selfless hero was meant to be. The exact opposite of me.

‘Sasha! Stop it!'my wolf's voice finally broke through my stream of thoughts. ‘If you are so evil, then why are you worried about them? Why do you feel so much guilt at the thought of being evil? Why would you even care at all?'

My heart began to slow as her words sank in.

‘If you were evil, then you wouldn't care if you might be evil. Your heart wouldn't be racing against your chest like it is now, and you wouldn't be panicking at the thought of being the reason that Rory and Baer are out here in the line of danger.'

"But I am," I whispered.

‘You aren't. You forget that they both are alphas themselves. Baer is an Alpha King of Southern California. Rory is the next leader of the Crete Coven. They have autonomy outside of you and they chose to come with you. You never forced them into anything. They always had the right and the ability to walk away, but they chose to stick by your side. That doesn't make you evil. That just means you have very loyal friends.'

I let out a sniffle as I pressed my face into my hands.

‘Don't forget what Ayden had said. It isn't just the dangers of this land that you have to be ready to rise up against and fight. You also need to keep your mind strong against those dark thoughts. Or else you will be the cause of your own fall into darkness.'

I nodded; my face still buried in my hands.

"I understand, thank you," I said between sniffles as my body began to cool down with the night air. "I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you."

‘I feel the same way about you, Sasha,' my wolf sighed softly. ‘Get some rest. Dawn comes quickly.'

I gave a nod and laid back down, my eyes tracing every constellation I could find in the sky through the netting of the tent. I counted each shooting star that passed and felt myself easing into the warm embrace of sleep.

In my dreams, I watched as I danced around a ballroom, my arms around some invisible being as I was swept across the floor. I wore a gown of white, crystal beads lining the bodice that sparkled as they caught the light from above.

Many eyes watched me through masks that disguised their true thoughts. Painted faces of smiles and joy as their lips moved in false compliments as I passed.

I was confused about where I was, my brows drawn as I tried to see who it was that I was dancing with as those I passed gave deep bows in his direction.

I could feel his hand on my waist and his shoulder beneath my palm. He held my other hand lightly in his, my gown sweeping the floor as he spun me in circles.

The radio voice returned then, my head turning left and right to find the source. I tried to break away from the dance to cover my ears, the panic and fear of where the voice was coming from settling in my chest as it had before. Then a second voice joined the staticky sound.

"You are a god damned warrior princess, Rigel. Nothing in this world can stand toe to toe with you."

I managed to force the dancer to stop as I turned to find Ayden in the crowd, his voice driving out the static in my head.

"You aren't some pansy, little damsel in distress, Rigel."

I gritted my teeth as I looked over my shoulder, the vision of the room beginning to fade away. The glitz and the gold of the ballroom began to melt, and all the masked faces faded into nothing, taking the staticky voice away with it.

"No one but me can ever stand toe to toe with you. So, don't you forget it."

I turned around again, face to face with Ayden now, his smile brightening the dark void around us.

"Don't forget it," he repeated.

My eyes flew open then, the sound of birds chirping as the early light of day shined through the mesh of my tent. As the sky brightened above, I frowned and watched the stars slowly disappear into the morning light, while the remnants of my dream slipped away from my thoughts.

Only Ayden and his words remained fresh. Everything else faded into nothingness. Not even the strange voice echoing in my mind remained.

"What a strange dream," I thought aloud to myself.

I listened more to the sounds outside of my tent as soft footsteps moved around the campsite. I could make out the light scent of licorice mixed with pine as a breeze swept by my mesh tent, and curiosity got the better of me.

Carefully, I unzipped my tent door and peered out into the center of the camp to see Ayden sitting bare chested next to a small fire as he fried up some eggs. I watched him work quietly, careful to not wake anyone else who still slept, the sun still barely creeping over the horizon.

I couldn't help but admire him then. My gaze running over the muscles of his chest, the memories of my cheek pressed to him there coming to mind.

I wondered what it would be like to run my hand over his bare chest then, finding it hard not to wonder about running my hands along parts of his body or his hands roaming all over parts of mine. My teeth sank into my bottom lip and a sense of security gave me confidence to step out of my tent and join him by the fire. To maybe act on the desires, I felt brewing inside myself.

"That smells amazing!" Baer's voice came, his large body now blocking my view of Ayden as he stepped out of his tent and joined him by the fire. "Got enough for two more there?"

I felt myself groan as I zipped the tent door closed and flopped down against my sleeping bag and stared up into the sky above me through the mesh ceiling.

‘I think Baer needs a swift kick in the ass,'my wolf grumbled in my head.

And I couldn't help but agree. With timing like his, he might just need two swift kicks.