Chapter Seven

Desie

"Okay, Talia. When the next contraction hits, I need you to push. Push hard."

She nods with her eyes closed and leans against Corso. She"s amazing, but she"s getting tired.

"You"ve got a warmer ready?" Obi says through the phone. Talia insisted on him being a long-distance birth attendant. I"d be happier about the additional support if it didn"t feel like he was micromanaging me.

"I have a warmer ready and a team on standby if she needs transport, Obi. My pack is here, as well as my brother"s pack. I"m not going to let anything happen to Talia or her baby. I promise I know what I"m doing." I"ve only been through years of training and education, not to mention the hands-on experience I have on the floor at the hospital.

"I don"t doubt your capabilities, Desir"ee. Talia is essentially my sister. I"m just a little worried," he says. I get it. I really do. I just don"t enjoy being second-guessed.

"It"s starting," Talia whispers. "Jasper?"

"I"m right here, cupcake. You"re so strong." Jasper pushes a few strands of hair off her forehead. "It"s almost time to rest."

Forty-five minutes later, there"s a brand-new baby boy curled against Talia trying to get the hang of nursing while Alex feeds her bites of the arroz con leche that Amber made. Corso is laying on the bed next to Talia, staring down at both her and his new son with so much joy radiating from him that I can almost feel the warmth on my own skin. It"s beautiful.

I want it.

I want to be pregnant with my alphas" babies. I want to cuddle my baby in a nest surrounded by my pack. I want Seth to make me those awful sandwiches they all like so much and I want the twins to tell me how strong I am while they look at their baby just exactly the same way Corso is looking at his. I want it so badly that I forget to breathe for a few seconds.

I turn my head toward the door when a soft knock interrupts the quiet.

"Dutch was worried about his mama," Seth says barely above a whisper.

"I"m much better now that he"s here," Talia smiles, reaching a hand out for Dutch.

Seth leans close to whisper into Dutch"s ear. "Remember what we talked about?"

Dutch gives a solemn nod. "Be quiet. Be slow. Be soft."

"Good man," Seth hugs the little boy and puts him on the ground.

Dutch tiptoes across the floor and very carefully climbs onto the bed with his parents and new sibling. The scene is so sweet and just adds something new to my list of wants and needs.

"Would you like to see him, Seth?" Talia asks. "You can hold him."

Seth"s head is shaking before his mouth opens to respond. "No, no. He"s too new. He doesn"t need me stinking him up. I"ll meet him in a few days."

Talia"s smile fades a little, but she nods and kisses the top of Dutch"s head. Seth can make light of how he feels all he wants, but he"s my alpha and I know the truth. Seth is afraid. I can feel it trickling down our bond like ice water.

I put the stack of paperwork I was organizing on the dresser for Talia to work through when she"s ready and go to my anxious alpha. He bends down to wrap his arms around me when I get to him, breathing in my scent and pressing his forehead against mine.

"Hey you," I whisper. I do and do not understand why he"s so nervous right now. It"s natural to be worried about handling a brand new baby, especially if you"re not used to them, but it seems more than that.

"Hey," he whispers back.

"You smell really good, Seth."

He smiles for me and brushes his nose against mine.

"Want to go home?"

He nods.

"Okay. I"m basically finished here. I"ll do one more check and then we can go."

"I asked Mateo to stay a while longer. They"re here until Kaleb gives them the okay to leave. Amber is in the kitchen with the girls making oatmeal bars, I believe. She is very patiently waiting for permission to see the baby."

I laugh. "Very patiently, huh? Amber doesn"t have a patient bone in her body."

Michael and Ben aren"t patient, either, and they start complaining and badgering as soon as we get into the car to go back home.

"We didn"t even get to see him," Ben pouts. "Seth got to see him."

"I saw a blanket from the doorway," Seth corrects.

"You didn"t get to hold him?" Michael asks.

Seth sighs. "Talia would have let me hold him. I wasn"t ready. He"s too little. I didn"t want to hurt him."

"They"re a lot more sturdy than you think," Ben huffs. "Who does he look like? Talia or Corso?"

"Corso," I confirm. "You can see some of Talia"s features, but he looks more like Corso. He"s beautiful."

Michael grins and pulls onto the street. "Of course, he is. I can"t wait to get my hands on him. We"re coming with you to check on them tomorrow. Think she"ll let us hold him?"

I shrug. "I think she will."

When we get home, I go straight to our nest. I keep tweaking it and I"ll have to completely redo it before my next heat in a few weeks, but it"s such a comfort to know it"s here waiting for me. After a while, Michael comes in and lays down next to me and I curl myself against him. Today was good. The baby came easy and Talia is amazing. Everything was so perfect.

"Can I ask you something without making you feel weird?"

I glance up at him. "Since when do you worry about asking me questions?"

He raises a brow. "Since all that shit happened and then even more shit happened."

"That"s fair. Ask away. I won"t feel weird."

Michael nods and gathers me closer. "How come you"re keeping this nest going this long? You"ve never done that before. You seem okay to me, but this is different. I don"t mind. I like it. We all do. It feels right. I just never knew an omega who kept a nest like this and I"m checking on you, that"s all."

"Well," I sigh. "I think it"s partially because of everything that happened. And I think it"s a little because Seth still needs support with all the things that happened to him. But mostly it just feels right. It feels really good to know it"s here waiting for us, and I like sleeping in it with you guys. Is that okay?"

He kisses my temple and hugs me against him. "It"s okay, Desie. Whatever is right for you and for us is okay."

"Now I want to ask you something without you being weird."

"I"m never weird. What do you need to ask me?"

I drag my palm down his chest and push his shirt up so I can touch his skin. "I really do want babies. Helping Talia today made me realize how much. And I want them now. I don"t want to wait until we"re settled on the East Coast. I want to try during my next heat. Is it too much, too soon?"

Michael starts playing with the ends of my hair while he thinks. He"s always done that. It used to irritate me when I was younger, especially if I had put any real effort into styling it; but now it"s just part of us.

"Well," he starts. "I think we should get Ben and Seth in here to have the whole conversation, but I think me and Ben are ready for babies whenever you are. Seth might not be. He loves the triplets, but I think he"s afraid of something when it comes to his own kids. Maybe something happened to his mom or something and he"s worried about something bad happening to you."

I didn"t think about that. I just thought he might not be ready to be a dad. "You"re right. We"ve got between three and four weeks to decide, but it"s going to eat at me if we don"t talk about it."

Michael calls for Ben and Seth and I start talking before they have time to sit down.

"I don"t want to wait until we"re on the East Coast to have a baby. I want to try for one during my next heat. I know you all said it was fine, but I need it to be a real decision that we make together on purpose with a timeline." Excited warmth and prickly anxiety bounce through my bonds with them.

"We"re all on board, Des. Whenever you"re ready." Ben winks at me. "We"re going to be traveling back and forth a lot, so we"ll need the best car seat in the universe."

Seth begins rubbing his chest.

"Everything will fall into place. Talia"s pack will be on the East Coast to help and Mateo will be here. We"ll have family wherever we go. Our kids are going to have the best of both worlds," Ben continues, stretching his legs out in front of him.

Seth pulls at his earlobe.

"If it happens with your next heat," Michael starts counting on his fingers, "I think you"d be due at the end of spring or the beginning of summer. We"ll probably be settled into the place near Corso by then. And Talia will be closeby. I think the timing is pretty good. How cold is it over there around then, Seth? Not too cold for a baby, right?"

Seth rubs the back of his neck. "It"s not too cold."

I sit up and look at him. "What"s wrong?"

He closes his eye and drags a hand down his face. "Nothing."

"You"re a bad liar. What"s wrong, Seth?"

He sighs and looks up at the ceiling. "Please don"t be upset. I want you to have as many kids as you want, as long as it"s safe and you"re happy. I just... Not mine."

The warmth rushes out of me so violently that I gasp.

"I"m sorry, what?" Ben deadpans.

Michael holds me closer.

"No, wait," Seth takes a breath. "That came out poorly."

Michael clucks his tongue. "No shit."

"What I mean is that I don"t know if you should have my babies. I want to have kids with you. I want to have as many kids with you as we can have. But I don"t think they should be mine...biologically."

"I don"t understand," I choke out.

"No, no. Listen. It"s not bad. I mean, I don"t think it is. I want to help make the babies," he smiles a little. "I just want the babies to be theirs. Biologically."

"I don"t understand," I repeat. "Why don"t you want to have babies with me?"

"No. Fuck. Listen. I want to have babies with you. I just don"t want to make a kid suffer through my gene pool. I don"t want to pass on anything... bad."

"What could you possibly pass on that was bad?"

He sighs. Deeply. "Desir"ee, you didn't know my father. He wasn"t the best person. He did a lot of terrible things. To me and to other people. Look at what I"ve done. I just don"t want to, I don"t know, pass that on. I don"t want to taint our children."

That makes me want to cry. And shake him. And cry while I shake him.

"Don"t cry, darlin. It"s just the truth. Our kids are going to be perfect and good."

"They"ll be perfect and good regardless." I sniff. "I want a little boy with red hair and freckles."

Seth leans across Michael and cups my cheek. "Let"s work on a little girl with dark hair and her mama"s eyes first, okay?"

At least he"s leaving the window of opportunity cracked.

The next week is busy. Between my shifts at the hospital, calls with Alpha Minos, and going to check in on Talia and Luca, my pack is wearing a little thin. On top of that, I"m beginning to have heat spikes, and Amber has had a bout of what we jokingly call practice contractions. I told her she wasn"t allowed to go into labor early because I am simply too tired. She said she"d do her best to keep my niece on the inside until her due date. I really hope she does because I actually am too tired right now, and I get the feeling that it"s just going to get worse. Especially when someone starts pounding on my front door the moment I step out of the bathtub.

"I"ve got it," Michael yells. I listen as he opens the door and tells someone to calm down.

I towel off and put on my fuzziest pajama pants and coziest hoodie as quickly as I can. I can"t begin to express how excited I am to have to deal with something that requires someone to calm down right before bed.

Brandon is pacing the living room when I walk out of the bathroom. He stops long enough to apologize to me, then he goes right back to his agitated stalking. He"s going to be a menace when he gets older.

"What"s the matter?"

"They said I couldn"t go with her," he spits. "Sorry. I don"t mean to be a jerk to you, Desie. I"m just upset."

"I can see that. They who?" I sit on the couch and pull a pillow into my lap.

"Devon. He doesn"t understand. He"s such a dick."

"I"m not going to argue with you. Devon isn"t the friendliest person. Why don"t you tell me what happened, exactly." I cut my eyes at Michael to stop him from laughing. Devon has rubbed all of us the wrong way, apparently including Brandon.

Brandon huffs and throws himself into the armchair. "I was over there visiting Iris and the other kids. I didn"t even bother the baby. I was just reading books with them and stuff. They, Devon and the rest of them, were in the kitchen talking about when they"re going to leave. It"s soon, Desie. Really soon. Talia says she"ll feel up to it in the next week or so. Anyway, they were talking about leaving, and I went in there and asked if I could go with them. They said no. Devon said no. He did that whole stupid thing where he looks at Kaleb and crosses his arms."

"Did Kaleb say no?"

Brandon shakes his head.

"What did Talia say?"

"She said, "Oh, honey"," he wrinkles up his eyebrows and does a pretty decent impression of Talia"s gentle twang.

Ben comes in from the kitchen and hands Brandon a bottle of water. "Did you lock your bike?"

Brandon nods and drinks half the bottle.

"Why are you trying to go with them? Joseph and Cody are here. You"d be leaving them."

Brandon caps the bottle and looks down at it. "Yeah, I know." He looks back up at Ben with watery eyes. "But they have their parents. And she can"t be that far away from us. It"s too far. It has to be me. I don"t have anybody here, and she needs one of us with her."

"Did you explain that? That sounds like something Devon would understand." I"m trying to comfort him, but unfortunately it doesn"t sound anything like something Devon would understand. He doesn"t understand how intensely we form bonds at such a young age. There"s also the fact that it wouldn"t matter if Iris was thirty years old, Devon is always going to stand between her and the world.

"I tried, but he wouldn"t listen. He said I was just a kid and I couldn"t just go to another territory. He didn"t even care when I told him that I was on my own anyway, and that I could go if I wanted to."

I sigh. Michael sighs. Ben blows out a forceful breath. Then Seth walks in the door.

"What happened? What"s wrong?"

"Mostly Devon," I answer.

"It usually is. What did he do?"

Brandon goes through the whole thing again and waits for Seth to process it.

Seth looks at me. "I thought he was family?"

"We all look out for him."

"But he doesn"t have a legal guardian?"

I shake my head.

Seth pokes his tongue into his cheek. "Are you enrolled in school here?"

Brandon shakes his head. "I don"t need it. I can read and do math. I know all the important stuff."

Seth glares at Ben. "And you all just let him wander around? Nobody bothered to put him in school?"

Michael laughs. "Plenty of people bothered. Joseph"s parents and Cody"s. Hell, even I filled out the paperwork. He won"t go. He won"t stay put long enough to catch a bus or get a report card."

Seth drags his hands down his face. "Alright. Come on. Get in the truck."

"Why?" Brandon"s eyes narrow. "You"re not shipping me off to some place."

"Just get in the damn truck. And listen to me right now, I know how it goes with the packs here. I know y"all form connections and bonds really young, obviously," he gestures to me and the twins. "But you can"t just order around an entire pack when it comes to things like this. I"m going to do what I can to help you, but you have to listen to me. Understand?"

"Yes, sir."

"Don"t do that. I"m not a yes, sir kind of guy. Just listen to me. And don"t throw a fit when we get there."

"Okay."