Chapter Nine

Ryan

We had decided to take it slow, both of us still trying to figure this all out—not because we questioned what was happening but because jumping straight in felt overwhelming. There was so much to digest about everything that had happened. But now that he was gone and at work, I was starting to second-guess the taking-it-slow thing. I longed to be with him, and part of me wondered if it would hurt less if we'd marked each other.

Maybe it would, maybe it wouldn't, but in either case, the longing to be by his side was powerful.

King had left me with his shirt, the one he'd been wearing moments before we parted ways. At the time, I hadn't realized how valuable a gift it was. I wore it, scenting him with every breath. It calmed my beast, and I suppose it calmed me as well. But it wasn't enough. I longed for him to be by my side, to feel his hand in mine, to brush my lips against his.

One thing was for sure, before we mated, we needed to tell the kids what was going on, but I couldn't really do that until I understood it myself. King and I hadn't discussed the children—not in a real way. I refused to abandon them, to be less for them than what I already was. But that was a lot to ask of someone: to take on six children who were not only not theirs but not their mate's as well.

I didn't foresee that as being a big problem, not really. King loved children and was amazing with them, but even so, it was one more thing that nagged at me. It was as if everything happened all at once, yet nothing had happened, and we were standing in the same spot as before. Although, not completely, because we had at least acknowledged who we were to each other.

And my beast? He'd simmered down. He wasn't happy about not wearing the alpha's mark, but he was no longer spiraling—just being grumpy about it. I'd take a grumpy bear any day over what I'd been experiencing.

"Ry-Ry." Ruthie ran up to me with a cupcake in her hand, her face covered in frosting. "I made this for you at cooking time."

I looked down at the cupcake. There was no way she hadn't used her fingers to apply that frosting. None. And the sprinkles? There had to be five servings smooshed into the sugary goodness.

"I see that. Are they good?"

She smiled brightly. "Of course they are. We made them."

I didn't have the heart to tell her that those two things wouldn't always go together, and I also didn't have the heart not to eat it when she asked me to. I tried not to think about what went into making it as I pulled the paper off the cupcake, tore it in half, put it back together like a sandwich cookie with the frosting and sprinkles in the middle, and took a big bite.

It was fine. Sure, it probably had a lot of germs and dirt in it, but that made our immune systems stronger, right? And the smile on her face as I told her how wonderful it was made it worth it. By the third bite, I did find myself swallowing part of an eggshell, but so be it. There were far worse things than that.

"Thank you, sweetie. That was delicious."

"Good because the others made you cupcakes too!" Of course they did. "We're gonna have a room full of cupcakes."

Jake came running over, his face even more covered with frosting, as was his shirt, his hair, and somehow, his shoe. "Are we going to the fire tonight?"

They asked every time there was a s'mores night, and pretty much every time, the answer was no. Once in a while I'd cave, but it was rare, and only when I recruited extra help to watch over them. Was I being overprotective? Absolutely. Was I going to change? Not so much.

"Nah, we're having movie night."

The others ran over as Jake asked what that meant.

"We're going to spread out all our blankets on the floor, and we're going to watch a movie about a dragon and eat popcorn and stay up way too late."

"Is there a fairy in it?" Becca asked.

"I don't know. We'll have to watch and find out."

That seemed to satisfy her.

"Let's get cleaned up for dinner." Cleaned up turned into showers for all. The amount of frosting in their hair and clothing had me wondering how they had enough left for the cupcakes. We ended up late for dinner, but that was fine. There was always plenty, even if they didn't understand that yet. They had been deprived for so long that it took them quite a while to feel safe and secure here.

Later that night, as all six of them fell asleep watching the movie, I looked down at their sweet faces. Would King like evenings like this? And the answer came to me immediately. Of course he would. He'd probably cherish these moments. And then, even though I missed him terribly and worried about him, everything felt okay. At least for now.

I turned off the television, lay on the couch with a blanket pulled over me, and closed my eyes. The sooner I fell asleep, the sooner King would come home to me—to us. The timing wouldn't be exactly the same, but it would feel that way, and that was good enough for me.