68. Chapter 68

Chapter 68

L ayla felt like someone was hacking at her head with a chainsaw. She winced and rolled over, feeling the side of the bed for Jax.

When her hand swiped across nothing but cool air, her chest tightened at the reminder that she was all alone.

She groaned and lifted her hand to her heavy head. What the hell happened? One minute she'd been okay and the next, she'd been dizzy. Now that she knew Nia kept her healthy, she couldn't get her head around how completely fragile she was without her. It was something she would have to get used to.

Thinking of her wolf brought pain to her chest, worse than the headache, and a layer of guilt to top it off.

Why did Nia make such a sacrifice? The wolf could have easily run away and saved herself.

Sighing, she kicked her covers off and finally opened her eyes. The shutters were still down, but she could hear the storm had passed. She moved slowly off the bed but every step she took to the door still reverberated through her body. When she opened the door, something mouthwatering wafted up her nose.

Her heart immediately skipped a beat. Jax was still there!

She walked down the short hallways, unable to stop the smile on her face. Her head knew they were supposed to break up but that didn't stop her stupid heart from feeling excited. She would have to work on that.

"Good morn..."

Her voice trailed off when Gerald turned from the stove and smiled at her.

Where was Jax? Did he leave her after all? Did he realise that a trailer was no place for someone used to all the luxuries money could buy?

A heaviness fell on her shoulders and her heart squeezed.

But this was a good thing. This was what she needed from him so they could both decide what their future would be like. It would be more heartbreaking if she ignored her situation and stayed with him, only to have him realise that she didn't mean anything to him without the bond.

The only part she could play in his life was as a co-parent. That was all she needed to figure out. How often could she see Hope? If she wanted to take her away for a weekend, would they spare some warriors to protect her? How would she explain this decision to Hope when she was older, so her daughter wouldn't hate her? That sort of thing. That was more important than being hurt that Jax left while she was ill.

"You're up," Gerald said as he switched the plates off and came towards her. "Are you feeling better?"

"I'm fine," she lied.

"I'll take you to the hospital for a check-up. You were out a long time," Gerald said as he put the back of his hand on her forehead. "I don't think they've cleared our roads yet, but Adam up the street said he would take us in his truck."

She pushed his hand away. Who was this man? The last time she saw him in the kitchen for anything other than a can of beer and junk food, Brit just started school.

But trying to reconcile the two images was beyond her capabilities while her head pounded like that.

"I said I'm fine," she repeated as she walked over gingerly to the new couch.

She hadn't sat long when Gerald brought over a plate full of steaming hot food. She eyed the bacon, sausages, eggs and pancakes before she looked up at her father. He looked at her expectantly, expecting her to tell him he'd done a good job.

When she pulled a blanket from the back of the chair and made herself comfortable instead, Gerald sighed and sat on the other side of the couch.

"I know it's going to take some time, but I'm trying, Layla," Gerald said.

"I didn't ask you to. I think you already said everything you needed to say, from when you sold me for your debts to when you made a drunken scene at the hotel."

"I have a lot of moments in my life that I regret, but I regret this whole situation the most," Gerald said. "I have a lot of work to do, and I'll do it if it means getting you and Britney back in my life."

Was Britney the reason for the change? She already admitted she couldn't keep him away from her. If that was what this latest change of heart was about, he was wasting his time.

"I'm not going to keep you away from Britney. She's an adult now; she can make her own decisions," she sighed. "Let's not do this now."

"This isn't about Brit. It's you I screwed up."

And the whole town knew that. It was pointless to rehash the past now.

"I don't think we could ever have the relationship you want. Even before you tried to sell me, you hadn't been a real father to us. I raised Brit by myself."

Gerald ran a hand through his hair and sat back. His shoulders lowered as if he only just realised what he was trying to do was impossible.

"I know. And I'll forever be grateful for that," he sighed. "You'll probably never know how much. When your mum left, my whole world ended. It was like she ripped something out of me, and I wanted to die every single day. I still do sometimes, even after all these years."

Something clicked in her head, and she felt a wave of unwanted sympathy for the man who had been emotionally unavailable to her throughout her childhood. She looked away from her father and lifted a hand to her neck, where her mark should have been. She never understood what her father did, but what if he bonded with Rebecca? She could see the same future for herself after what happened. She could see how the pain in her heart from losing Jax could easily make her spiral.

The thought of it made her nauseous. She had harboured so many negative feelings about Rebecca and Gerald her whole life, but she was about to do the same to her child.

Her heart ached. She didn't want to do that to Hope. She didn't want to ruin her life.

"I know you don't need me at this point in your life, but I'm going to be a better father," Gerald continued. "I'll let my actions do the talking."

She blinked back some tears and looked at the breakfast again. Life was never black and white. It was full of grey areas, but the change of perspective wasn't welcome because it meant she was justifying what her parents did to her just to be able to live with abandoning Hope.

"I'm going to check the damage outside," she said as she put the blanket aside.

"I've already done it. You need to get back to bed and rest some more. You're looking very pale," Gerald said. "I don't remember you ever being sick before. Is it something to do with..."

She stood without explaining. She'd learned long ago that she couldn't trust a drunk with her secrets.

It took her longer than she wanted to shower and wash the grime off her body. How could taking a shower be so exhausting? She didn't even have the energy to dry her hair. She left it wrapped in a towel before finding an old pair of boots and leaving her bedroom. Gerald had covered her food on the table and wasn't in the living room.

She stepped out of the trailer and was shocked to discover she had slept most of the day away. It was already late afternoon, and the sky was clear as if it hadn't just pissed down on them. She looked around the mess of the park she called home, where the neighbours were still sitting outside and gossiping even though the ground was flooded. Gerald was talking to some of them, and for the first time in forever, she didn't see a can of beer in his hand.

How long would this round of sobriety last?

She sighed and stepped down. Her boots sunk into the water, and she immediately felt her socks get wet. They were her newest boots at the trailer but were still old, and new holes appeared in the soles every time she wore them.

But that was her life, at least until she got back on her feet. She would have to provide somewhere better and safer for Hope to be able to visit her.

She went around to the first window and started cranking the shutter back up. Unlike in the night, she managed to roll it at least halfway before it got stuck again. She turned it as much as she could, and it still didn't budge.

She was too weak.

Too useless.

She was no good to anyone.

Was it even worth trying to figure out how she could keep Hope in her life when she would just be a burden?

A sob left her lips before she could stop it. Tears blurred her vision, but she didn't wipe them away.

A large hand covers hers, shocking her out of her thoughts. She knew without looking who the hand belonged to. Like during the storm, her body tingled and reacted to him. She leaned back against the warmth of his body, allowing herself a moment to feel sorry for herself.

"Why are you doing this when you should be in bed?" Jax growled against her ear.

"I have to do it," she answered.

She wiped the tears from her face and moved her hand so Jax could finish the job.

"You don't have to do anything when you're sick," Jax snapped as he quickly secured the shutter. "Go inside and get into bed. I won't take long."

She stepped away from him and watched how his t-shirt stretched against his body as he moved. It was a habit. It had been two years of her being with him whenever she wanted. Every single night. Her body was trained to respond that way.

She looked away quickly when Jax looked at her, and his eyes flashed. Of course, he knew what was happening. He could probably smell it.

She looked away, her cheeks heating up, and was about to walk to the front door when she noticed the men standing around one of the pack trucks. Dylan pushed himself away from the hood he was leaning on, smiling as he stepped forward. Alpha Chase and Alpha Brax were with him.

"What are you guys doing here?" she asked.

Dylan pulled her into his arms and twirled her before he set her down. He was the only one who could get away with that. Or at least, he had been when she had a bond with Jax.

"What? You think you can save everyone and then just disappear like that?" Chase asked.

Save everyone? If they hadn't come, they would all have likely died there.

"I came to do a little recon. If you guys are staying here, I need to set up patrols," Dylan said.

"It's just me here."

Dylan snorted and then looked at the trailer.

"Go and rest. You look like shit," Dylan said. "We'll finish up out here."

"But—"

Jax had already grabbed her hand and pulled her into the trailer. Before the door shut, she saw more vehicles pull up behind her old car and more warriors stepping out.

Were they serious? The neighbours would talk. They would know they were wolves before the day was out!