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12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

L ayla landed hard on her elbow, knocking the wind out of herself for the millionth time. And for the millionth time, Jax rushed over to help her back to her feet.

"I'm fine," she said through her teeth.

"You're not fine. You're distracted. I look like I'm beating up my mate," Jax growled. "Do you want to do this or not?"

"Of course, I want to do this," she snapped, pushing him off and testing the movement in her arm. The pain had already subsided.

She looked around the field and saw several trainees sitting around the perimeter, watching her make a fool of herself. They were probably regretting putting their faith in her now. She'd been crap for the last couple of hours, and if it weren't for her sleeping wolf, she would have bled all over the place.

"Then stop fucking around and get your head in the game," Jax growled before he walked back to his side.

He'd been angry with her since they got back. She didn't know if it was because he'd figured out that Britney was a little scam artist or if it was about the messenger. He'd told her it was nothing, but she wasn't sure.

"I'm not fucking around," she growled back.

"Then take me fucking down."

Jax lowered into a fighting stance, his gaze hard as he waited for her to make a move. It was how he used to look at her before he admitted he was in love with her. The longer she stared at him, the more she felt the distance that somehow formed between them, and she hated that. She wasn't supposed to worry about her relationship; they had much bigger problems than that.

But still, she felt her frustration with him well up inside her as she readied herself to attack. The things she wanted to say to him whirled in her head until she wasn't sure if she was angry or just frustrated.

Her fists clenched at her sides as she focused on him the way he'd taught her. She heard the steady beating of his heart and tuned out all the unnecessary sounds around them. She watched the drops of sweat roll down the side of his face as if everything had become slow motion. She saw his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed.

It was a bright afternoon—not a shadow anywhere on the field—yet she felt like the shadows were still calling her somehow. Her feet felt lighter as she wriggled her toes in the grass.

One second she was standing across the makeshift ring from Jax, and the very next, her fist almost connected with his face. Jax's brows rose as if she surprised him, but she didn't give him a chance to counterattack. She whirled around and wrapped her arm around his neck as she wrapped her legs around him to keep him in place.

But because she was fighting a beast, she didn't have a real chance to secure her hold. Jax rolled and untangled himself, so she ended up on her back with him between her legs.

He looked down at her mouth, heat flaring up instantly.

But how dare he assume she would give in to him when he'd acted like such a dick?

Or maybe he didn't assume that because he rolled off her and stood before she could push him off.

"Again," Jax growled.

This time she was sure it was anger that she felt.

She went for him before he was ready for her, but when her shoulder connected with his torso, he staggered back only a little before he flung her back across the field.

Was he teaching her or trying to make her feel more worthless? Like she couldn't even defend herself, so how would she protect her child or the pack?

Fury licked through her veins, and her eyesight sharpened even more. Jax cocked his head to the side when their gazes met across their battlefield, and his eyes flashed red. She pushed his emotions to the back of her mind and felt the fury feeding something inside her. He was no longer her mate but an enemy she had to beat. An obstacle to navigate to finally free herself of all her self-doubt. A challenge. And the wolf inside her didn't like being challenged, it seemed.

She felt a surge in her body that she hadn't felt since she attacked the witch, and the air shifted. For a second, she was scared she would hurt him, but she knew that wasn't possible. No matter how angry she was, Jax was still a part of her.

She went for him again. And again. He blocked her every time, and each time, she went at him harder. When she finally knocked Jax off his feet, she wanted to celebrate, but he was back on his feet in seconds, faster than she had ever seen him move. Was that what she was doing, too?

Maybe it was her wolf's instincts, but it felt like they were mirroring each other somehow. She was on him again in a second, and this time when she knocked him off his feet, she picked his whole weight off the ground in a move that was always difficult when she practised it in her self-defence classes. She threw all the moves at him and landed more than he blocked.

She was starting to feel proud of herself when Jax went from the defensive to the offensive. And she realised he had been holding back the whole time. Of course, he had. He didn't think she could do this either.

With that realisation, her wolf retreated to wherever it had hidden the past year, and she became aware of her surroundings. They somehow fought their way into the woods, and Jax pinned her against a tree trunk. She tapped against his arm, and he loosened his hold but didn't let her go. His huge arms caged her in, his lips only a breath away from hers.

Even though he was messy and a little bloody, he wasn't even breathless, as if everything she did to him didn't affect him.

"Why are you giving up now?" he asked. His eyes returned to their beautiful ice-blue colour.

"I'm not. I'm just tired," she lied.

"Layla," he growled in warning.

"What? Do you expect to teach me everything in a day?" she snorted, pushing at his chest so there was a little distance between them.

"You were picking everything up quickly. If we just—"

"I'm tired," she repeated.

Jax held her gaze, and she could tell she disappointed him. She'd disappointed herself.

"What's going on in that pretty little head of yours? What aren't you telling me, Layla?" Jax mused, almost as if he was thinking out loud.

"Why are you assuming I'm hiding something? Usually, only the people guilty of that make those sorts of assumptions," she retorted.

"It's not an assumption if I can feel it, mate."

She shook her head and pushed him further away until there was enough space between them for her to slip under his arms.

"I'm going to check on Brit before I shower and get ready for dinner."

She heard the sigh behind her but kept walking. They came further into the woods than she thought.

"I'll come with you. I know I promised we'd have a picnic, but—"

"No, stay here," she said quickly. "You still have people to train, and I don't think Brit is ready yet. Maybe tomorrow."

"Layla."

But she continued walking, keeping her mind off the clusterfuck she had created. She focused on nothing and cleared her mind the way she used to before Jax admitted how he felt about her. He'd called it masking. The last thing she wanted was for Jax to feel her panic.

It had been a day since Brit admitted she lied to her.

Her sister played on her emotions by pretending to go through everything she had seen a counsellor for when she was younger. She told everyone about the voices in her head until she learned that it was better to shut up. Brit must have spent a long time recalling the details of the past she tried to put behind her.

When she came out of the woods, the trainees had gathered in front of the trail as if they had still been paying attention to their match.

"Who won?" one of them asked.

"She did," Jax said from behind her.

If only. That was a lie, and it made her feel more shit about herself.

She walked through the group of people and headed to the packhouse before Jax could stop her.

Her first stop was to check on Hope playing in one of the rooms on the ground floor with a couple of other children, watched over by their mothers and Hope's nanny. When she gave her daughter enough kisses to make herself feel less guilty about the time she was spending away from her lately, she went to the kitchen to collect a tray of snacks for Britney. Everyone was forbidden from entering her bedroom, just in case Britney revealed what she had done. And she sent the guard away.

There was no shouting when she walked up to the door, but she knew Brit would be shouting the moment she got in. She didn't even recognise her baby sister anymore. What happened to the quiet girl she raised? Maybe the drastic change was what made her easily believe her sister was about to shift.

"Take it back; you're wasting your food. Just send me back to the trailer, and we never have to see each other again."

Brit's words cut her as she put the tray on the side table beside the door. The lunch tray was untouched while Brit was back in her spot by the window.

"You need to eat, Brit, or you'll make yourself ill."

"You're making me ill. I never thought you'd fall for this bullshit, Layla. You found people as crazy as you and put them above me and Dad."

Crazy?

Her sister never called her that, but she heard it many times. Besides having to become the breadwinner, the bullying had been one of the reasons that she'd dropped out of school.

"You're here for your own good, Brit. If you don't calm down, I won't be able to protect you anymore."

"Protect me from Jackson?" Brit snorted. "Just take me back to Dad; I'll be fine without you."

The words lit the flames back inside her body. After everything she did for Brit? After going hungry so Brit could eat? After dropping out of school so Brit could have a roof over her head and an education?

That was what her sister thought of her? Was she that easy to discard?

Her fists clenched at her side, and her eyesight sharpened as she looked at her sister. Brit gasped and stepped back. Her fear filled the room; she could almost taste it. She knew it meant her eyes changed. She'd given herself away.

"If you don't do as I tell you, they will kill you, Britney," she growled. "If you want to go back to the man who almost sold you as a sex worker, then I'll help you do that by all means. Just eat your damn food, and let me think of how to get us out of this shit you dropped us in."

She turned and left without another word. Her hand shook as she turned the key in the lock. Brit wasn't shouting anymore, but her fear turned to terror. She'd done that to her.

She froze when she sensed who was behind her.

"What shit did Britney drop you in, Layla?"

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