71. Chapter 71

Chapter 71

J ax turned slowly towards the door. Layla stood there with tears shimmering in her eyes.

She must have heard everything. Layla wasn't even trying to mask herself; all her raw emotions were pounding into him and slicing into his heart.

His first urge was to go and soothe his mate, but he held back.

He'd made it to one month until his birthday; that was good enough. Now, he had to break Layla's heart.

"What do you mean, Jackson?" she asked.

He looked down at Diedre and felt her relief as if she thought his ordeal would finally be over. But didn't she get it? The same bond Diedre was relying on to save him was what was holding him back.

"Let's take a walk," he said to Layla.

Layla immediately walked out. She projected her breaking heart so loudly he could even hear it.

"Tell her everything," Diedre said.

He walked out of the kitchen and followed. Layla was already out of the house when he saw Dylan coming down the stairs.

"How is that possible, Jax?" he asked. "Diedre was..."

He couldn't tell him. Dylan had already wasted months looking for a way to break the curse. If he told him about Layla, he would become like Diedre—full of useless hope.

"Can you look after Hope?"

Dylan looked away.

"I'll call Faith—"

"Please. You haven't held my child since she was born, and you know you're going to have to look after her. I'm trusting you with both my girls," he whispered, his voice breaking. "I have to tell Layla the truth. I can't..."

Dylan had to be willing to take responsibility, or everything would have been for nothing. Layla was going to be inconsolable for a long time after he died. Dylan would have to step up.

His Beta sniffed and then turned to walk back up the stairs. When Dylan was out of sight, he walked out of the house to follow Layla. She was already walking up one of the trails in the woods. He looked up at the full moon and hoped the Goddess would give him strength for the hardest conversation he would ever have. And then he followed slowly as he tried to get his head right.

Layla was already sitting at his lookout rock when he got to her. The moon cast eerie shadows around them, but she doubted that Layla had even noticed.

"Tell me," Layla said the second he sat down.

"I don't know where to start," he admitted.

"The beginning."

He looked at his mate and saw her eyes glowing and her fists clenched. It looked like she was trying to hold everything in but failing.

"Five years ago, on the day I killed my father to become the king, I slaughtered a whole village."

This wasn't the time to hide who he was. He had done many things that had shocked Layla since he got here, but that had been nothing compared to the things he had done as his father's monster. Layla had fallen in love with the watered-down version of him. Her wolf hadn't had a choice, but her human side... It had fallen in love with a lie.

"They'd been taking human children and hexing them, turning them into whatever they needed them to be. I slaughtered them all, even the children," he said, looking out at the forest.

Layla didn't react to that.

"It was a full moon. A blood moon that made their witch stronger. A spell cast on a night like that is difficult to break. A spell cast on a night like that on a witch's last breath... Well, it's been five years, and the strongest witch in all my territories hasn't been able to break it."

Layla sucked in a breath and covered her mouth as if to stop herself from making any sounds. Her pain multiplied, and he had to close his eyes against it.

"For five years, you will weep blood before the fiery pits of hell take your soul. On the eve of your next birthday, the blood moon will rise, and the souls you've taken will claim their vengeance."

It was funny how he could recall every single word she had said. He could remember her voice and the gurgling as she slowly drowned in her blood. He could remember the blood streaked through her blonde locks and the light dimming from her blue eyes.

She had given every last part of herself to that curse.

"I thought it was bullshit at first. The witch was dead, so all her spells and curses died with her. But when I told Diedre, she collapsed, and she's been stuck in that hell ever since," he continued.

Layla was trembling now. He clenched his fists as if that would stop the pain. His insides ripped and knitted back together, only to rip again.

"I did a lot of bad things after that. I was angry. I'd just freed myself from my father only to fall into something worse. If I didn't deserve the curse before that day, I deserved it after," he admitted. "But I started to think of the pack. We have lived in this forest and enjoyed our peace only because of my bloodline. The Circle had been pressuring me to have a child in case anything happened to me, so in the end, I thought it was the least I could do for my pack."

He inched closer to Layla and put his hand on her knee, not just to soothe her but himself. The good days were behind them now. He could no longer live like he had a long life ahead of him.

"That's where the tears of blood part of the curse started. Everything I want, I can't have. Any other wolf can pick anyone and have children. I tried many times until I realised that only a true mate could carry my child. And then I met you."

He looked at her face. She was still looking ahead and barely holding herself together.

"My mate. The other half of my soul," he whispered. "The one fated to me, made for me, given to me by the Goddess. The only one who will ever know me inside and out."

Layla finally looked at him with tears streaming down her face. His heart shattered because there was nothing he could do for her now. Her pain would be constant.

"You're mine, Layla. And I'm yours. Only I can't have you. I can't claim you the way I want to," he whispered. "The next red moon will indeed fall on my birthday. A month from now, I'm going to die."

Her sobs started. They came from deep within her and wrecked his soul. Layla slipped off the rock to sit on the ground, hugging her knees and rocking as if it would stop the pain. It wouldn't stop. Even though he had tried to spare her this by not marking her, their bond was stronger than anything he had ever known.

"You've been blaming yourself for all the shit happening, but that's all on me. When I first caught your scent, I should have walked away, but I thought I could fight it. I thought I could ignore Fate, have a child and walk away."

Layla's sobs stopped, and she wiped her face to look at him.

"Diedre said you can fight it. She said I'm the key," she said quickly as she got back to her feet.

"No. She's desperate. She can't accept the fact that we lost—"

"She said you have to mark me. I've heard that term before and wondered what it meant. Just do it, Jax. What do you have to lose?"

He brought his hands to her face and wiped her tears with his thumbs.

"Everything. I have everything to lose," he whispered. "If I give in and claim you, you will die on my birthday, too. I will never risk that."

"I want you to risk it."

"Then who will look out for Hope?"

Her face crumpled again as if she had forgotten about their child. It was the bond. It put the mate above all others, but they couldn't be that selfish.

"I've been fighting not to bite you since the first night I was with you. I will never do it, Layla. I won't kill you, too. The witch I killed had a child, and she's the one who doesn't want me to have any of this before I die. She'll stop at nothing. That's why I think you should go. There can be nothing else between us."

Layla sucked in a breath and stepped back from him.

"You want me to leave?"

"I always thought the mate bond was unfair. We didn't get a choice. I'm pretty sure if this thing wasn't pulling us together, you would never have looked at me twice." He paused. "And I would never have looked at you."

He felt the moment her heart stopped. The moment he destroyed the woman he selfishly loved.

His life was over. He could feel it. This was the night he would die, not his birthday. This was the night he would cry tears of blood until his heart stopped beating.

Layla wiped the rest of her tears and looked away from him. Her eyes stopped glowing. The mask returned.

"So you want me to just leave? After everything?"

"Just for a little while. Once I'm gone, the bond will disappear, and it will be like I never existed. You'll be able to find real love."

His words were hurting him, too, yet he couldn't hold back now.

"I'll make sure you're safe until then. Then you can come back here and raise Hope among her people. I'll explain everything to Dylan."

"So I'm just supposed to walk away?"

He nodded and then looked away from her. He couldn't watch her pain anymore, even though she had masked it. It was better this way. The bond wouldn't get stronger, and she wouldn't have to watch him die.

Layla turned and started walking back. She was emotionless. Blank. And that broke him wide open. He had never cried in his life. Not when his mother had died. Not when he'd killed his father. But watching Layla retreating brought tears to his eyes that he had no hope of holding back.

"Layla," he whispered.

She didn't stop.

His heart stopped and started several times. Cain growled in his head, his anger at his actions growing each second. So he cut the beast off and cut off the rest of the pack because he knew he couldn't hide his pain anymore.

It was unbearable. He slid off the rock to his knees and looked up at the moon. Was this really his fate? To break like this? To love so much and then lose it all?

It took only a minute for him to realise he would not survive it. He could not leave Layla with those words for the rest of her life.

She was the only good thing that had happened to him.

Layla was almost out of the forest when he caught up with her, grabbed her arm and turned her around to face him.

"I'm a coward, and I'm full of shit," he whispered.

He didn't care that she could see his tears. That she could feel all his vulnerabilities while she hid hers away.

"I love you, Layla Carlisle, and it's nothing to do with the bond. I am nothing without you. I would choose you in this life and the next."

Layla sucked in a breath, but she didn't drop the mask.

"I don't want you to leave. I don't want to spend a moment of the time I have left away from you. But it will end in tears for you, so the choice is yours. You can walk away and save yourself the heartache."