4

P.S. So I guess you asked for our name and I forgot to put that so…We are the Ring Resistance Or just the Resistance for short.

I looked over at Alexander who had been reading it with me. I asked, “Who did you reach out to? I’ve never asked what they do. I just asked for a name.”

Alexander frowned, “I did ask that. I asked who they are, what they do, why they do it, how we could find them. I also included wanting to know how we could make acquaintances with them.”

I raised an eyebrow, “So I’ve been asking for a name for two years and got nothing. You reach out to your contacts, and we get a letter in a few weeks? You're officially in charge of getting answers about the Ring Resistance, brother.”

Alexander snorted, “I don’t know which source got to them. I put inquiries out with over three hundred people.”

I shrugged, “Get the list to Micah.”

Micah rubbed his hands together, “I do love a challenge.”

My dad said, “This person knows us. She called Julianna and Everly by name. She knows you two as well and thinks you would not welcome a friendship.”

We all frowned because that was true. The cadence of the letter reminded me of Melanie.

My head pounded and I shoved that thought away. Melanie was living her dream and her finishing school teacher taught her to talk without rambling. Plus, Melanie would know we’d be her friend. She was mine already and she was family to Elise.

I sighed, “Toby, we need to pull our enemies. Someone who would still care about us but thinks we wouldn’t be accepting of them.”

Elise asked, “What about Alpha Raven? My family doesn't like him.”

I mused, “The note T got with the code word was found on their border at the start of this. It could be the Raven family.”

My dad snorted, “Alpha Daniel Raven has no reason not to contact you though, son. Or Emmett. They were never our enemies. We stood against their dad, but we have had a prosperous relationship with them ever since his death. We are even friends with them.”

I sighed, “It’s all we have. They do have a sister.”

Emmett snorted, “A sister who lives in Washington. She met her mate at the last Summit.”

I told my Beta, “Toby, I want that confirmed. I want to make sure she’s where she thinks she is.” Toby nodded, “Alright.” He took out his phone.

Alexander was upset. We scoured the place for anything else but found nothing. Eventually my mom warned, “If you all don’t open that fucking package I will lose my goddamn shit. The curiosity is literally going to kill me! You all know I love presents! Stop doing this to me.”

I snorted but she sent me her urgency in the bond.

I pulled a knife out of my shoe. My Uncle Bjourn smiled because I’d it learned from him. I never went anywhere without a weapon. Something all my Fairy cousins were going to have to adopt after today. I cut the tape off the box and put my knife back into my shoe.

I opened the box and stepped back in shock. There were syringes just like I’d seen the sniper give Julianna. She’d given it to us. Alexander asked, “Brother what…?”

He trailed off then yelled, “Holy motherfucking shit!”

My dad asked, “What is it?” I picked up the note and read it.

This is Laxenread. It will bring your Fairy powers back in a minute if you’ve been hit with iron. I only have so many doses, but this is what I can offer you. Please…. let us keep our symbiotic relationship… I just want to help… and I mean… I am helping…so… I feel like you should do me this favor.

I snorted, “It’s Laxenread.”

My mom shrieked, “What?”

She stepped forward and read the note. She looked at my dad frowning. My mom’s emotions were strange in the bond. I asked her, “Mom?” She frowned, “Well, it’s...” She trailed off, “I mean….” She made a strange face.

Aunt Lexi spoke, “Hales, what do you think about the note?”

My mom answered, “Alexander.”

He answered her, “What did I do?” My mom shook her head, “Not you but well,” She winced, “yes you.” My dad laughed, “Angel, just explain it from the beginning.”

My mom said, “Fairies love anagrams. Laxenread unscrambled is Alexander. He asked the questions that got answered. This is a counteragent for iron poisoning, and it’s named Alexander. They didn’t give us the Wolf one, just this one. What if that’s the one that wasn’t perfected? What if our sniper doesn’t go out when Alexander does because she likes him? She’s scared she’ll miss if his life is on the line.”

Holy shit.

I looked at my brother, “Did you get a Fairy obsessed with you, little brother? Because ‘like’ is not an intense enough word for all this.”

Alexander looked and felt extremely confused. Elise surmised, “So we have a she wolf of some kind, a Fairy, and a Witch or Warlock? How did they meet each other? Were they in the Ring? Did they escape?”

Alexander asked, “Why do they care about me?”

I snorted, “Apparently, they care about you a great deal, little brother. We need to see if we can find someone who can replicate these.”

Elise snorted, “If Mel wasn’t so damn busy, I bet she could.” I wished we could do that.

I sighed, “That’s true. We haven’t told her what’s going on though. If we want to break that bubble, I’ll ask her.”

Elise frowned. Alexander said, “No, she deserves to live her dream.”

I sighed, “Alright.” My dad said, “I don’t think the sniper was in the Ring. I think the Ring killed someone she loves. Maybe her family.”

My mom offered, “I agree.”

I asked, “Why?”

He tapped the note, “She said she needs vengeance. She’s not going to stop until she gets it. Whatever the Ring did to this girl, she plans to make them live to regret it.”

Uncle Bjourn said, “If they knew her name, they probably would’ve gotten her already.”

That was also true. After one last check over the premises and nothing more found, we popped home.

For weeks we had people analyzing what the hell this Laxenread was. We had figured out most of it, but there was a component that was apparently unidentifiable. Our Lead Scientist was losing sleep over it even though we told him it wasn’t his fault.

Uncle Aiden and Uncle Bjourn also had people working on it. We were just running out of ideas. At this point I doubted even Ladybug would be able to figure it out even if we asked. The scientist we had said there was a new element they had never heard of in the serum. I had a constant headache.

Alexander was going to Faerie trying to sues out if there was a Fairy that liked him. Naturally, he’d found plenty. None that appeared to be able to pull this off, though. Micah came up with nothing from the contacts Alexander had reached out to. If they had reached out to someone, they’d done it by word of mouth. We couldn’t put our people on over three hundred people. It was maddening.

I threw a file in frustration. Alexander said, “The sniper did say we wouldn’t find them if they didn’t want us to.”

I snorted, “We should be able to find them.”

My dad sighed, “We are working against a very smart group of people, son. This type of smart is next level. I mean we have a new element.”

I growled, “So, they are right? We won’t find them unless they let us? I refuse to believe that.”

Toby groaned, “Goodie.”

I stood, “Everyone break for the night.” I went and found Elise. I sat back and watched her reviewing files.

She eventually turned around smiling, “Hi.”

I walked over and kissed her. I grabbed her, “Let’s go on a date.”

I took her hand and walked outside. I took her to my dad’s club. I grabbed her hips, and we danced the night away. We had a few drinks, and just let loose for the night.

I took her hand and ran out of the back door. Once we got to the forest we shifted and took off back for the house. I led her to our special place we went to for alone time in our territory. We let Brutus and Rhea play with each other for a while.

Eventually I took back over and shifted back. I growled, “Shift back.”

Rhea purred at me. I smirked, “Come on, mate.”

Elise took over and shifted back. I grabbed her hand and pulled her naked body into mine. She kissed down my chest while I groaned and threw my head back.

She teased me by biting the inside of my thigh. She gripped my butt and pulled me closer. She slowly slid her tongue around the tip of my dick. My hand automatically went to her hair. She could get most of me inside her mouth now. She started playing with my balls, while her other fingers were stroking right behind them.

I choked when she circled my anus with her finger. She hummed and the vibrations sent me into an orgasm. She pulled her mouth off me, letting go with a loud pop. She licked her lips, “Mmmm.”

I growled and tackled her to the ground. She laughed and we rolled back and forth fighting for dominance. I was already hard again. God, what this woman did to me.

I grabbed both her hands, pinned them above her head, then kissed her hard. I trailed a finger down her body and slowly inserted it inside her. I fingered her through her first orgasm. I replaced my fingers with my dick, thrusting in and out of her slowly. Her moans and the way she breathlessly said my name were my undoing. When we finished, I popped us back to our room and we slept.

The next day we made some progress with the Hunting Ring and this ‘Dante.’ Jason was going to check it out. Toby walked in frowning. I asked, “Why are you frowning?”

Toby sighed, “We got a request for you and Elise to take a meeting. It’s barely outside our territory. The person who called said it’s about the Ring. They are insisting that it’s urgent.”

I stood asking, “Is it from the Resistance?”

Toby shook his head, “It doesn’t seem like it.”

I sighed. Elise said, “We should go.” I told her, “I won’t walk you into a trap.” Elise shrugged, “I go where you go.” Brutus said, “So, we don’t go. Right?!” I reasoned, “You know we should.” He replied, “WE. As in you and me. NOT mate.” I agreed but she wasn’t going to.

Alexander told me, “I don’t like it.”

I sighed, “We will take Warriors and Toby with us. Genevieve and you need to make sure everyone is ready to move.”

Alexander argued, “I’m your Enforcer. I’m coming with you.” I shook my head, “No, I need you here.”

Max offered, “I’ll go with them, Alexander. Micah is doing computer stuff. I’m antsy.”

I accepted, “Alright.”

I linked Max, “If things go sideways you get Elise out of there.” Max shot back, “I wouldn’t leave without you, big brother.” I rolled my eyes.

I told Elise, “We will drive just in case they have eyes watching us.”

She nodded and got into the car. Brutus told me, “Not a fan of this plan.”

I admitted, “Neither am I.” My mate grabbed my hand when I got in. I kissed hers promising, “I’ll keep you safe.” Elise held one of the pressure syringes from our sniper. She kissed my cheek, “I’ll protect you too.” The closer we got the more this felt like a trap.

Once we’d arrived at the abandoned building I looked around. I linked my men, “I sense there are a lot of people here. Be prepared to fight.”

I linked Max, “Where are you? I feel you William, Wesley, and Theo here.”

Max replied, “Yeah, Wes came with me. The other two sneaky fuckers, just showed up.”

I told him, “Look alive, it’s a trap.”

I walked in with Elise by my side. I was ready to put my shield up at the slightest movement.

I linked my dad, “You and mom might want to pop in.”

My dad snorted, “We are here already. Check your bond.”

I checked my connection with them. I had been too focused on my brothers and missed them. Alexander was pissed. Well, he could stay pissed. If this was to draw us away to attack our pack, he was where he should be. He was the strongest fighter we had.

There was a rogue in the middle of the room. I pushed Elise behind me and put up my shield as four shots rang out around us. I could hear the bullets hitting targets, but they weren’t close by. The rogue turned to run. Brutus scoffed, “Is he serious?”

I replied, “I guess.”

I used my pushing power. I saw the scene this time, “It’s one hundred thousand dollars. All you have to do is request Alpha EJ and Luna Elise get to this abandoned building.”

The rogue retorted, “You’re going to kill Alpha EJ Conners?”

The man in the shadows laughed, “No, I’m going to kidnap his Luna to prove a point. While seriously injuring him.”

I was so angry, so I pushed harder, exploding the rogue's head. I linked my dad, “What’s going on?”

I heard growling outside. My dad answered, “Just a second.”

I grabbed Elise, “You’re the target. Get out of here!”

She frowned, “I’m going out there with you. Our people and our family are fighting.”

Brutus told me, “Rhea is with her digging her heels in. They won’t leave.” I growled telling her, “You stay on my goddamn six. Do you hear me?” She nodded.

My dad linked, “Their side’s snipers were taken out. Your mom can’t pop to the sniper protecting us. Neither can your brothers. Wesley popped to Emmett and brought him back to see if he could run to the sniper before she pulled her disappearing act. It’s more than safe to say, the Resistance is here.”

Elise and I ran outside side by side. I shifted into Brutus while Elise shifted into Rhea. Brutus grunted, “Finally! I get in on the action.”

He was in on the action all the time. I called the wind and threw attackers away from Elise. Shots rang out in quick succession near me.

I turned in surprise, watching as everyone who came within ten feet with Elise was shot six times. Elise looked annoyed. She quickly jumped on a rogue and took him down easily. That’s my girl. Brutus linked, “The sniper is protecting her. She’s firing at others, but the targets are those around Elise.”

I reasoned, “That makes sense because Elise is the target. I bet they know that.”

Brutus hummed as if he wasn’t sure.

I joined Elise, growling and using my pushing power. Wolves that were in my thrall were thrown into the air and the ones that hit the trees were pulled into them and then exploded. So, Julian was mad. My mother was taking people’s air left and right. The shooting had stopped.

We took down everyone left, then shifted back. I snapped Elise and myself clothes. My mom snapped the rest. I grabbed Elise’s hand and popped to Emmett. He was frowning. I sighed, “You didn’t get here in time?”

Emmett answered, “Evidently not and there’s no scent to follow. These things were these in the trees.”

He handed me a wired speaker. He explained, “They were playing shots over it, so we’d go to the wrong place thinking there was more than one sniper here. This is weird.”

I pointed out, “It’s been weird for a few years now.”

The symbol was on the sniper's rock. My dad and mom popped back in. My dad said, “So the A team sniper group is back.”

I nodded, “It’s got to the girl who saved Everly and Julianna. The shooting style is the same compared to the others.”

I held Elise tightly to me knowing they were going to use a sniper to get me down to take her. Which was crazy because that wouldn’t work. I’d have had one of my brothers get her and I out of there. If I’d been shot Alexander would’ve come. So would my mom.

If Alexander was here, they’d have wished they were dead long before they were. We cleaned up the area, and I drove us home. When we got home, I parked but didn’t get out. Elise unbuckled her seatbelt and crawled over to me. I buried my face in her neck.

She whispered, “I’m ok, EJ.”

I whispered, “They are coming for you to prove a point to me.”

Elise pulled back, “Hey, I’m not going down without a fight. WE are not going down without a fight. Even if they manage to take me, I’ll fight my way out and back to you. I’ll probably even meet you halfway. I know you’ll be coming for me too.” I put my forehead on hers.

I whispered, “This world does not want to see what I am capable of if you are taken from me. Their point will not get proven. Mine will. I won’t be without you. You are my whole world. Without you the realms will stop moving until you’re back because I’ll make it so.”

She whispered, “You’re mine too. They are trying to hurt you. I will always fight back against anything in this world that wants to hurt you.”

We got out of the car and walked inside. My dad was waiting in the office with a very pissed off Alexander.

He growled, “What was their plan?”

I explained, “They want to kidnap Elise and injure me to prove a point.”

Alexander snarled, “What fucking point? That they are morons? That wouldn’t work.” I winced “I might have exploded his head into tiny little pieces before I got that information.” My dad snorted, “I can’t say I blame you for that son.”

I asked Alexander, “Any news from Jase?”

Alexander shook his head, “He’s dark until next week. All I know is before he left he was confused about a present Melanie sent him. The note was insanely brief. It said ‘congratulations’ with a fancy watch. He asked her what it was for, and she told him it was a just because present.”

I nodded, “Alright. Is someone making sure he didn’t walk into a damn trap?”

Alexander smiled, “I might have had William doing a little look out. His initial meet went just fine. William didn’t sense anything off. He’s back in Faerie.”

That was good.

I questioned, “Why would Ladybug write congratulations on a card if the present was just because?”

Alexander shrugged, “None of them know. She even addressed the card to Jason. He said she only calls him that when she’s mad at him.”

I frowned because that was odd.

Angela popped into my office with her arms crossed. She glared at me, stomped her foot and yelled, “You didn’t even ASK me what I saw before you left to walk into a trap!”

I told her, “I didn’t want to upset you.”

She cried, “You don’t think I can help you!”

I disagreed, “That’s not it. I know the sniper is something that’s fuzzy to you. I knew if this was a trap then you wouldn't be able to see it.”

She stuck her tongue out at me and left. Alexander sighed, “She’s worried.”

I felt through our bond.

I replied, “I know.”

More and more paths were blurry to her, but some things were so clear. Brutus told me, “I think she is stressing out too much about it.”

I hoped that was case. Regardless, we would figure out what was messing with her visions, and this would stop. There had to be a link between how stressed a path made her and the vision itself. Elise took my hand and squeezed it. She linked me, “We will figure it out.” She was right, we do.

The week flew by. We were waiting for news to come from Jason. His check in time came and went, but we hadn’t heard anything yet. We were all anxious. Finally, Elise asked, “Can we pop to Red Run?”

I grabbed her hand, and we popped to her parents’ house. Everyone was there waiting.

Everly was rubbing Tristan’s back. He was tapping his foot. Dalton sighed, “We need to send someone after him. He’s two hours late.”

Elise’s fear slammed into me. TWO HOURS? Brutus asked me, “Should we refresh this pack on what an EMEREGENCY is? I don’t think they know anymore.”

I’d argue but he might have a point.

A Warrior came thundering into the house yelling, “WE NEED HELP OUT HERE!”

We were all running outside and off the porch. Two Warriors were dragging a beaten and bloodied Jason toward the house. I linked Alexander, “We need you and mom now! Pop to me.”

Alexander and my parents were there in a second. Alexander broke into a dead run towards his friend. My mom popped beside him. Alexander wiped some tears away, “Hang on man, you’re gonna be fine.”

They started to heal him.

Sam ran out of the house, dropped to her knees, and cried. She screamed, “Is that my son? Oh my god! Jason!”

She stood and rushed to them and just sat outside the bubble. Tristan grabbed one of the Warriors by the collar. He growled, “WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!”

The Warrior stammered, “I don’t know. He wasn’t there when we ran our last patrol. He just showed up on our border with Alpha Raven. Their men had just caught his scent too. It’s like he had no scent then suddenly it came back.”

Brutus linked, “Well, that sounds like some other group we know got involved.”

It really did. I looked at Elise, but she was crying. All her attention was focused on Jason. I turned to my dad. I linked him, “The sniper got to him back for us too.”

My dad nodded, “That would be my guess.” Drake was wiping tears from his eyes while we waited for Jason to be healed.

It took my mom and Alexander an hour and half to heal him completely. Brutus growled, “They tortured him then.”

That was very likely since it didn’t take my brother and mom long to heal people together unless it was bad.

He was still unconscious when they stepped back. I snapped them food. Alexander was trying to wipe his tears away. I asked, “How bad?”

Alexander snorted, “You know it was bad.”

My mom looked off in the distance at the McAlister house.

Eventually she said, “Something kept him alive before we got here. I think the Werewolf version of Laxenread is ready.”

She tapped Alexander’s arm and pointed at Jason’s pocket. Alexander pulled out a syringe with a blue circle with a line through it.

Mom was right, they’d worked out a Werewolf one now. Along with a Fairy one. Jesus fucking Christ. Who the hell were these people? Alexander checked Jason’s other pockets. He pulled out a note and snorted. He handed it to me.

And this makes three. Watch your Beta better Alpha Kyle’s. Or you will not like the consequences. People don’t like me mad… or at all… but especially mad. Leave the Hunting Ring to us. Next time I expect a cookie… a good one…

Brutus linked, “That’s a lot of resentment.”

He was right. It was a rebuke to Dalton and Dakota. I loudly said, “I’d buy her a damn bakery if she’d tell me her fucking name. What does she mean their Beta? T is the Beta.”

I hoped maybe she was nearby, and the bakery comment would draw her out, but I didn’t hear anything.

Brutus linked, “It was a good try.”

That’s all we had at this point. Tristan shrugged, “Jase is still a Beta blood and he also the duties of one. He’s Chrisopher’s Beta, but he focuses on training.”

He’d planned to challenge for the Male Lead Warrior next week. We knew he was going to win too.

Dalton frowned, “He doesn't want the title of Beta though. If he wins, he’ll be known to everyone as the Male Lead Warrior while doing Beta duties on the side. She can’t think we just let him walk into danger. He’s our friend. Hell, he’s our FAMILY.”

Tristan shrugged, “Maybe she called him that because he’s got Beta blood.”

He had to be right.

The problem was this person seemed to know us quite well. Did they confuse Tristan with Jason? Jason groaned then sat up. Sam threw her arms around him, “Jase, are you ok?”

He frowned, “I had the weirdest dream. Ladybug was there. Man, she was pissed.”

My head started to pound.

Drake snorted, “She would be pissed you got caught if she knew about this. We watched her dance at her recital a half hour ago.”

Jason shook his head, “I’d swear to you she was there. It was so real. She told me she couldn’t believe I’d come to try and trick Hunters when they were supernatural’s too. Which meant they knew who I was. She kept calling me Jason instead of Jase.”

He rubbed his temples, “She argued with someone. They didn’t want her to help me, but she told them to go to hell. They told her I was shit brother. That I’d turned my back on her, and she should do the same. That her life had more value…”

He trailed off.

Tristan consoled him, “It was a weird dream. You’re not a shitty brother. No one would say that. We’ve never turned our back on Ladybug.”

Drake took out his phone. He greeted, “Hi Ladybug, you did so good at your concert. Yes, we all thought so. No, Jase liked your dance. He didn’t text you yet? Well he’s right here. You can talk to him now.”

Jason took the phone frowning, “Hey, Ladybug. Yeah, no it was a great dance I just misplaced my phone again. Darn thing. I seem to repel it from myself. No, you were a beautiful dancer as always.”

Alexander had a wistful look on his face. Jason passed the phone back to Drake who hugged Jason tightly. He walked off to talk to Melanie some more.

Jason sighed, “I could’ve sworn she was there. It was so real.”

Tristan snorted, “If she knew, she’d kick your ass. How the HELL did you get caught?”

My dad said, “The conversation he heard implies it would be because they are supernatural’s.” I frowned, “But they are humans that know about supernatural’s and hunt us.” My dad said, “Someone doesn’t think so.”

Tristan argued, “But that conversation didn’t happen.”

My mom said, “Just because the people he thought were there, that I just wish you’d admit was fucking prank, weren’t doesn’t mean he didn’t hear that right.”

She was texting on her phone. She’d get Uncle Bjourn on that.

Several people shot her odds looks over her prank comment. Surely, they knew she though Melanie was a prank. Everyone did. Jason sighed, “Anyway, it was going so well but Dante knew who I was. He had me transferred somewhere. I mean they were Hunters, it's not like my bracelet turning brown was a shock. I don’t know what Mel did to this damn watch, but I swear it shorted and shocked me. They worked me over pretty good. They were talking about sending me somewhere else.”

I growled, “Dante was there?”

He nodded, “Yeah, I got a decent punch in on him when he declared my name before they had me down with wolfsbane. I looked him dead in the eye and said he’d die for what he did to Everly one day.”

He continued, “There were four of them, but two never touched me. They were arguing with each other. They said that they had to tell her about me. That she’d never forgive them. Then they argued about releasing me. It’s all blurry guys. I’m sorry. Someone was angry though. Like fiercely angry. I heard punches landing on people and arguing, then I was being released from my restraints. There was more arguing. I felt a pressure on my thumb, and I was out.”

He looked up pleading, “Guys, I swear I heard Ladybug. I think I even saw her.”

My mom raised an eyebrow. Alexander said, “You couldn't have though. She was at her recital. She can’t be in two places at once.”

I glanced at my brother sharply because he sounded and felt incredibly confident.

My mom’s curiosity went back to being pissed that they weren’t letting the prank go in such a serious situation. Drake walked back up, “I asked leading questions, but she didn’t pick anything up. Melanie has no idea about any of this. She completely bought you’d misplaced your phone.”

Jason frowned, “Ok.”

I knew he didn’t believe it though.

We stayed for a bit longer, easing Elise’s anxiety. Drake hugged Alexander and held his hand out for my mom. She surprised us all by giving him a brief hug. We popped back to our area. I waited until Elise was asleep and walked to Alexander’s room.

I opened the door slowly and I walked in. He was so entranced by his computer that he didn’t notice me. When I looked over his shoulder I saw why. I cleared my throat. Alexander whirled around and slammed his computer shut. He was blushing.

I raised an eyebrow, “How do you have a video of Melanie’s dance recital?”

Alexander rubbed the back of his neck, “I…”

He faltered, “Well, you see. What happened was I…” I coughed, “You were so sure she danced tonight because you watched it. How?”

Alexander huffed, “I had Micah run a background software doodad thing on Jason’s computer. They all have login details to see Melanie’s performances. With the doodad thing Micah set up so do I.”

I snorted, “Of course you do.”

He shrugged, “I needed to see her. She’s so beautiful.”

I nodded, “She’s always been pretty.”

He smiled, “She always has on red lipstick. When she dances it’s incredible.”

I agreed, “It is.” He smiled, “I can’t take my eyes off her.” I questioned, “So have you been doing this for two years?”

Alexander shuffled, “Well, yes. I just needed to see her. I’m not showing everyone what she looks like. I just needed this for myself.”

I nodded, “Alright. I’ll keep your secret.”

He smiled and hugged me, “Thanks, EJ.” I nodded, “Uh huh.”

I changed the subject, “Do you think if I buy the sniper a bakery, she’ll reconsider us being friends?”

Alexander snorted, “I don’t know. Then again, I don’t know why she thinks we wouldn't want to be her friend in the first place.”

He had a point. I left his room.

I had no clue who thought we hated them so much their name would turn us all away. I knew there was something right there something I was missing. Sadly, no matter how hard I tried, like Angela with her visions, I just couldn’t grasp it.