Chapter 3

three

. . .

ALIL

"He wants nothing to do with me ever again!" Latif practically shouted. "I cannot understand how anyone—let alone my own brother—can care more about tradition than someone's happiness. Is that not more important?"

I watched my fiery friend, frowning as he paced the small lounging park we were sitting in. I had never seen him so worked up. He was breathing hard, anger and betrayal clear in his expression.

Latif had finally spoken to his brother yesterday evening. He had been rehearsing a speech with me all week, planning to corner Addy the next time he saw him, but apparently it hadn't gone to plan. Latif was always fiery, but he hadn't stopped this passionate rant in almost an hour.

And it looked like there was more coming, like he was on the verge of breaking.

Without thinking, I stood and marched to him, halting his pacing by putting my arms around his shoulders.

For a moment, he was stilled and then suddenly, he started crying.

He pressed his forehead to my shoulder and I simply held him while he shook.

"Blaine doesn't understand," he choked. "He thinks I should cut ties with him. I don't blame him. Addy has never been anything but terrible to him, but... he's still my brother."

My heart ached for my friend. Especially since there was nothing I could do to make things better.

"I don't believe that Addy's heart is bad," I said softly. "Perhaps you all need time apart."

Latif lifted his head, looking at me with dry red eyes. I had heard rumors that the humans leaked when they cried, but we Nassa were reptilian by nature and Latif's cheeks remained dry. Still, the anguish was clear on his face.

"There must be something I can do."

"You have done enough!" I said, laughing lightly.

It was hard to pretend that Latif had been anything other than scandalous before mating, but it seemed to be working out for him now and deep inside, I agreed with his ideals.

Part of me would love to be as bold as my friend; to rebel, but I was too timid by nature. I was terrified of stepping out of the lines. What would work for me was if society changed and the lines became broader on their own.

I often felt cooped up and like I had no direction. I wondered why an alpha was supposed to make my life complete. I wondered why we omegas were shielded because alphas were not expected to control themselves.

These were all things that Latif swore would change. I believed him. He was working with the alpha council tirelessly to figure out ways to gradually ease the segregation of our society. I was in awe of him and I was so proud of the abrasive young omega who I had glued myself to ever since we were toddlers. Latif had always felt like a force to be reckoned with and now he was proving it.

But he had been silent after my words for too long.

"It sounds like you think I am in the wrong," he said slowly.

I shook my head.

"It's not that. You know I support both you and Blaine."

"Then what?" he asked carefully, drawing back to look at me.

I shrugged, suddenly hot under his scrutiny. We had never discussed his actions from before.

"Well… I would never dare to make love to an alpha before bonding," I admitted. "But that is because I am not as adventurous as you."

"It is my body," Latif said quietly. "I should be able to do as I please with it."

"I agree," I said, whole-heartedly and the tension in Latif's shoulders sagged with relief. "But between that happening—quite openly—then your interference in the auctions?—"

"It's my life. I should be able to be with who I want to be with."

"I'm not arguing that," I said. "In fact, I wish I could choose for myself… But if you're willing to stand out and demand a revolution, you have to know that it will come with push-back. No one likes change when they are on top."

Latif frowned, his gaze sad.

"That is true. In one way I feel like I won. In another, I feel like I've sacrificed some of my peace of mind."

I nodded.

"Life is always easier when you are living in the home you grew up in and nothing has changed. What you're doing is good. It will make a positive difference."

Sighing, Latif shook his head, his gaze landing on me with interest.

"You are so wise Alil."

I shrugged, feeling self-conscious. I'd realized recently that my biggest asset was the fact that I could over-think a topic into its grave. Things that had little-to-no meaning were analyzed until I understood them in a way that made me feel lonely. Like I was the only person who had come to this strange conclusion, or that one. Sometimes I felt like I was the only person like this.

Not that I was smarter than anyone, because I didn't think I was ever the smartest person in a room, but maybe that I felt more.

"Come, let us walk home," I suggested, because it was already getting dark. Then I remembered that Latif was mated now and he could chaperone me. We didn't even need to stay on the omega path, but we did out of habit.

"It's still so strange that you are mated now," I admitted. "I honestly thought you never would be. I imagined you at old age still beating up any alpha who came too close to you.

Latif chuckled.

"That's what I imagined too, to be honest."

He glanced at me and I knew what question was coming next.

"What about you?" he asked. "Do you plan to go to auction and bond with an alpha?"

My parents had been pushing me for an answer to that very question lately and I had finally come to a decision so I readied myself to tell Latif.

"I've been considering what to do for a long time," I admitted. "Truthfully, I don't think that life suits me... I am planning to become a priest."

Latif paused, looking at me.

"I support any decision you make," he told me. "You would be an asset to an omega temple... but you would also be wonderful at anything you do."

I chuckled.

"Please."

"I mean it," he argued. "If you chose to remain unmated and worked with the council on the Free Omega Program with me, you would be invaluable. And if you chose to find your love and have a family, you would have the luckiest children on the planet."

I warmed all the way through, reaching out and giving Latif a half-hug.

"Thank you," I said.

I didn't think of having children often. Once in a new moon I wondered what it would be like. I liked them, but I didn't think it would be for me. I would spend all of my time worrying. Plus, children came with alphas.

"Perhaps I can tutor children through the temple in the future," I mused.

At least then I could play with children without having an alpha on my back.

"That is a great idea," Latif said.

He walked me back toward my house but paused before leaving the omega path.

"Thank you for listening to me," he said. "You have always been such a good friend... just a friend, unlike what Addy believes."

I frowned, not understanding for a moment and then my eyes widened dramatically.

"He thinks that?—"

I couldn't bring myself to finish that statement.

"He implied that we omegas sleep with each other. I know he was only trying to be cruel, but he said that me and you did it."

I shook my head.

"That doesn't sound like Addy," I said, disappointed.

Latif shrugged.

"He shocked me," he admitted.

We continued our walk and at my house, he gave me a hug and bid me goodnight, but I knew I would not be sleeping well tonight.

It wasn't like Addy to be so hurtful. I had known him as long as I had known Latif, and they had always bickered as siblings do, but he had never actually been cruel.

Addy had always had a bright, boyish charm. He was eager to talk, eager to please, and his smile... he had the brightest, happiest smile I had ever seen. One look from those lively orange eyes and my mood would lift all the way up into the sky.

Addy was sunshine. He ws light. A breath of fresh air. A glass of cold water.

My heart used to ache when I thought of him because there was no way... not unless I entered the auctions and he won.

But Addy wasn't a fighter, even though he postured like one. He might not win me, much as I wanted him to.

That night, I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. My thoughts went in circles until I finally started to understand.

Addy was jealous.

We unmated omegas could make love while unmated alphas couldn't. We were kept separate from alphas too, so he did not know what else we had that he did not.

On top of that, he had found out through a betrayal. Latif had been meeting with an alpha to have sex while Addy was supposed to be protecting him.

I could only imagine how complicated his emotions were.

Maybe he wanted what we had but was unable to have it. Maybe he longed to make love. Even if there were auctions every day, there was no guarantee that he would ever win and have a mate, let alone one of his choosing.

The thought made me so unbearably sad that the old ache returned to my chest. My heart went to Addy.

If only Latif's ideas were the norm. To pick the one you wanted rather than leaving it to fate would be so wonderful.