Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

Garin woke warm, except for the heavenly cool line along his left side, and comfortable, except for a certain delicious soreness. He rolled into the body beside him, his ass twinging, and tucked his head under Sazahk's chin.

Sazahk murmured unintelligibly and tightened his arms around Garin's waist.

Was this how they should have woken every morning in the Dead Zone? Garin chuckled. Probably not.

"What amuses you?" Sazahk's lips ruffled Garin's hair.

"I was just thinking that maybe it's a good thing we didn't learn how to do all this back in the Dead Zone." Garin hid his face in Sazahk's neck. "I'm not sure my body could take that kind of beating at night and still perform its duties during the day."

Sazahk's hands slid down his spine and cupped his ass. "Did I hurt you?"

"No." Garin sprawled an arm over Sazahk's chest, pressing his morning erection against Sazahk's hip. "Only in good ways."

Sazahk chuckled and slipped a finger into his crack to toy with his still-loose rim. "It was gratifying to so successfully implement my theories on what might please you."

"‘Successfully' is an understatement." Garin rolled his hips lazily into Sazahk's body as he kissed along his collarbone.

Sazahk plunged his finger into Garin's hole. "Are you after more?"

"Just a little." Garin panted into the hollow of Sazahk's throat, his mind clouded with the remnants of sleep and burgeoning lust. "If that's okay."

"It's more than okay." Sazahk pulled his finger from his hole and grabbed Garin's hips. He tugged Garin on top of him, lining up their cocks. "I've wanted to experiment with your morning tumescence since the first night we slept together."

Garin moaned as their lengths slid against each other, the friction cut by the pre-cum dripping from his tip. His moan deepened into a groan as a tentacle replaced Sazahk's finger, pressing into his hole.

"I would do this for you every morning." Sazahk cupped Garin's jaw as he rolled his hips up into Garin's. "Orgasms clear the mind, promote bonding, and lead to a general sense of well-being."

Garin's breath shuddered out of him as he met Sazahk's thrusts, finding a rhythm, helped along by the tentacle pistoning into his ass. He closed his eyes and let Sazahk's words flow over him. He loved to hear the man speak, to hear his mind work, even if he couldn't always follow its trajectory.

"And you should start every day like that." Sazahk brushed Garin's lower lip with his thumb. "Knowing that you are precious and loved."

Sazahk pulled him down for a kiss as his tentacle found Garin's prostate, and Garin cried out into his mouth. His eyes stung at the pleasure and Sazahk's words in his ears. He tangled the fingers of both hands in Sazahk's long hair and opened for Sazahk's tongue.

Like the night before, Garin may have been on top, but it was Sazahk in control. Garin could only cling to him for dear life.

"I love you," Garin gasped into Sazahk's mouth. The pleasure built and built from the perfect tandem of their cocks sliding together and Sazahk's tentacle fucking him.

"I know." Sazahk held him close, nothing but slick sweat between their bodies. "I know you do."

"Sazahk!"

The tentacle pressed on Garin's prostate and Garin came with Sazahk's name on his lips and Sazahk's voice in his ear. At the first pulse of Garin's cock, Sazahk tumbled after him. They both spilled between their bodies, their moans and gasps filling the air as they rolled against each other, wringing out every drop of bliss and need between them.

Sazahk's fingers dug into Garin's shoulder as he held him close. "And I love you too."

Garin's cock twitched at that, the words sending another burst of arousal through his lower belly that his body was too overwhelmed to handle. He had never let himself love anyone beyond his own family.

As he lay boneless atop Sazahk's long frame, he wondered why. Maybe it was because he had never met a man like Sazahk. Maybe because there were no men like Sazahk. But as the deep sense of well-being that Sazahk always said orgasms brought faded away, he remembered why.

"It's okay, Garin." Sazahk kissed his temple.

Garin grimaced. "What do you mean?"

"I can feel you tensing." Sazahk sighed. "I know your guilt is returning."

Garin peeled himself off Sazahk's body, the drying spend sticking their skin together even though Garin hadn't had as much to give after their activities the night before. "I'm sorry, I?—"

Sazahk pressed a slender finger to Garin's lips. "You conveying your apology is an unnecessary and unpleasant waste of our time together." Sazahk tilted his head, his eyes looking at something Garin couldn't see. "And according to the clock, we have precious little of that left."

Garin groaned and dropped his face into Sazahk's shoulder. "What time is it?"

His need to apologize clogged his throat, but he understood Sazahk's desire not to hear it. Voicing the apology wouldn't make anything any better. Garin still wouldn't be the man Sazahk deserved, and he still wouldn't give Sazahk the attention he deserved.

He would still be an inadequate partner for the brilliant man. To be subpar for someone he loved went against every self-conception Garin had and the remains of the gala's hors d'oeuvres and the alcohol he'd drunk afterwards soured in his gut.

"Ten in the morning, station time." Sazahk didn't seem in a rush to release Garin from his arms, despite the alarming proclamation. "We're scheduled to leave in two hours and Squad M is on their way over with the supplies for the Dead Zone excursion now."

Garin's last lingering sense of well-being decayed into a gravelly, bitter, unbridled unhappiness. "How do they even know where we are? Didn't you just get this ship?"

Sazahk traced his fingertips around the muscles of Garin's back. "I sent a message to Patrick's tablet last night."

"While you were fucking me?" Garin raised an eyebrow.

"No." Sazahk's fingers froze, and he flushed dark green and gray. "Shortly before fucking you. I wanted to get it out of the way so I could give you my full attention." Sazahk rolled Garin onto his back before Garin escaped the bed. "Which I did."

He punctuated his statement with a quick pointed kiss, and the petulance of it made Garin laugh.

Sazahk smirked down at him. "That expression implies a much better use of our time. I will endeavor to induce it more often."

"Yeah, and how's that?" Garin rolled out from under Sazahk and stood up from the bed, stretching and cracking his back.

"Considering my new intimate knowledge of your body, the easiest option seems obvious." Sazahk flicked a few tentacles from the bed post closest to Garin, and before Garin reacted, attacked his ribs with them.

"Holy fuck, no!" Garin peeled into laughter and twisted away, batting the tentacles aside. "That's cheating. That's terrible."

Sazahk laughed and relented as Garin ran from him. "But effective."

Garin chuckled and rubbed his ribs. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been tickled. It might have been when his father was still alive. "I'll get you back when you're least expecting it." Garin pointed at him ominously as he backed into the attached bathroom.

"You are certainly invited to try." Sazahk left the bed and followed him. "Qesh aren't prone to ticklishness, but I've never conducted an experiment on myself."

"You can't tickle yourself, anyway." Garin wet a towel and tossed it to Sazahk, then started wetting another for himself.

"That's true. It's one of the most curious facets of the phenomenon." Sazahk wiped himself clean, then tossed the towel into a corner.

"Aw man, I just realized I don't have any clothes here, do I?" Garin tossed his own towel in the corner with Sazahk's, even though he hated to leave them on the floor. He'd have to buy Sazahk a hamper.

"No, but I would like if you kept some here." Sazahk tangled his fingers together as they shimmered with brown and red. "I am aware that implies a significant level of commitment to a relationship, but it is what I would like."

"I would like that too." Garin untangled Sazahk's fingers and pressed them to his lips. "I just mean that for this morning, I have to do a walk of shame in my suit."

Sazahk's mouth curled into a devilish smile, and he sauntered back into the bedroom. "Maybe you'll run into your redhead."

Garin guffawed and followed him. "Maybe I will, but I wouldn't notice because I don't even remember what he looked like."

"I do." Sazahk opened the wardrobe on the side of the room and revealed a set of hanging robes almost certainly picked out by his brother.

Garin smiled and crossed his arms as he watched him. "I never took you as the jealous type, Sazahk."

"I'm not." Sazahk dug through the wardrobe with quick sharp movements that revealed how much he disliked what he found there. "Or at least I wasn't. I'm not in the general case. My feelings for you continue to defy expectations."

Garin blushed. He'd never get tired of hearing Sazahk talk about him like that.

"Aha!" Sazahk yanked open a drawer and pulled out a pair of pants.

Garin shook his head and wandered into the hallway, looking for his own pants. He'd been surprised to see a qesh without robes the first time he'd seen Sazahk, but now he couldn't imagine him in anything that didn't hug his narrow hips. Except for those glorious gold robes.

Garin looked around the ship as he walked, able to see it now the haze of lust covering his eyes had cleared. It was far too fancy for Sazahk to have picked it out, but it matched Garin's understanding of his brother, Serihk. Garin liked it, he decided. Sazahk deserved nice things, even if he'd never choose them for himself.

Garin passed the lab and poked his head in, finding it spick and span. He doubted it would stay that way when Sazahk got his hands on it. Then he passed the kitchen—the source of the oil they'd desperately needed the night before—which was in a similar state of tidiness.

Eventually, he made it to the entryway and the least tidy of all the rooms, due to the clothes spread out across the floor. He gave up his underwear for lost, finding them way too encrusted with pre-cum for him to fathom putting them back on. Instead, he went straight for his pants, wrinkling his nose at the stiff fabric on his bare skin.

He nearly ripped his zipper as a loud bang shook the wall beside him.

"Knock knock, anybody home?" Patrick's muffled voice rang out from the other side of the gangway.

"Shit." Garin quickly gathered his clothes, his pants still hanging half-undone, as the gangway hissed open. He ducked into Sazahk's room just as he heard footsteps coming up the ramp. "You didn't tell me they were right there."

"I told you they were coming." Sazahk touched his shoulder as he passed to welcome his guests.

Garin cringed as he did up his pants and shirt in the bathroom. There was nothing for it. It wasn't like Squad M couldn't guess for themselves where he'd spent the night. He splashed some water on his face and checked his hair in the mirror before venturing out into the entryway.

"Well, good morning there, tight ass," Bar'in grinned like a feral cat at Garin, his hands on his hips.

"Something tells me that name's not so accurate right now, Bar'in." Fal'ran's lips curled around his tusks and Garin's face heated unbearably.

"And good morning to you all as well." He stuck his hands in his pockets with a casualness he knew no one bought.

"All right, you teased him, now be nice." Patrick crested the gangway carrying a big box. Tar followed behind him with an even bigger one.

Fal'ran's grin softened, and he unslung a duffel from around his shoulder and handed it to Garin. "We thought you might want these."

Garin took the duffel and unzipped it to reveal his very own street clothes. "Oh, thank god." He gave them a grateful smile through his undiminished blush. "Thank you."

Bar'in waved a hand as he twirled around to grab a box from the pile at the bottom of the ramp. "It was my idea."

Fal'ran nodded. "It was."

"Thank you, Bar'in!" Garin called to the slim klah'eel's retreating back.

"You're welcome, loose ass."

Sazahk flicked a tentacle out from the edge of the gangway and whacked Bar'in's side, while Garin retreated to the bedroom. He fished his tablet out of his pants pocket. It was tight, but he had time for a shower and an urgent need for one.

Bar'in's nickname had hit a little too close to home. Oil that had felt a lot better going in, leaked out of his hole.

He stripped and turned on the water, stepping into the hot spray with a sigh. He wet his hair and scrubbed himself down, taking particular care below his waist, and helped himself to the creams and toiletries already arranged in the shower. When he reached up to suds his hair, a sudden ticklish jab under his left rib made him yelp and jump back. The waiting loop of a thick metal tentacle caught him, and Garin squirmed around and gaped at the thin tendril that had jabbed him and now waved at him mischievously.

Garin laughed. That damn man. And while he was out there with his teammates, too.

"You're ridiculous." He pushed the tentacle away and kept washing his hair, but the tentacle stayed, fondling and petting him like a carefree lover. He'd have to do this with the actual Sazahk when they got a chance.

Garin finished his shower and stepped out of the stall, feeling more grounded. Unfortunately, that wasn't a good thing. His dour reality, the coming end to his time with Sazahk, settled around him. Only Sazahk's playful prodding kept his mood up. It was hard to be sad with the aura of Sazahk's bubbly optimism right there next to him.

"There is no way this fits." Bar'in's voice echoed down the hallway as Garin left the bedroom. "Yeah, I know that's what his list says, but it doesn't fucking fit."

Garin returned to the entryway to find Bar'in on the ground next to Sazahk's bag, surrounded by supplies, with Tar peering over his shoulder.

Bar'in threw the extra pack of underwear at Garin when he appeared. "Did you think his bag was twice as big?"

"No, I thought you'd pack it differently." Garin kneeled beside them and pulled out everything Bar'in had stuffed into the bag.

"Take a pass at mine when you're done, would you?" Fal'ran dropped his giant pack next to Garin. He'd managed to get all the supplies in, but, judging by the bulging seams, by brute force alone.

"I'll have to give you lessons, since I won't always be around to do it for you." Garin swallowed. Or do it himself like he should. Sazahk going into the Dead Zone without him put a pit in his stomach. He trusted Fal'ran, but that wasn't the damn point.

"You don't have time." Sazahk came out of his lab, his hair braided neatly again. Probably Bar'in's doing.

Garin shook his head. "I have time." If he went fast, he'd have time. "Fal'ran, Bar'in, watch me."

Garin emptied their packs. His hands flying over buckles and straps, he rearranged and rolled and tucked and slid things into place. "Heavier things at the bottom. Lighter things at the top. Be mindful of lengths and of the things that you'll need more often than others. Some things you'll only unpack when you're in camp. Some things you'll want at a moment's notice."

Bar'in and Fal'ran watched him with their full, uninterrupted attention. Sazahk would be fine. They had him. He'd be fine. But Garin's stomach still soured and curdled and clenched.

"There. Done." Garin closed the final zipper on Fal'ran's pack. "Got it?"

Bar'in eyed him. "Hell no."

But Fal'ran nodded. "Yeah, I got it."

"And then, Sazahk, I was thinking about your food supply." Garin stood and headed to the lab, but Sazahk met him at the doorway. "If you?—"

Sazahk pressed a finger to his lips. "You don't have time, Garin."

Garin's anxious energy fell out of him.

"Your family's transport leaves in an hour and yours right after." Sazahk dropped the finger and gave him a sad smile. "And our own departure window is imminent. You have to go."

Garin bit his lip. "Just—I just…" He swallowed and reached for Sazahk, but Sazahk caught his hand and pressed it into Garin's chest. Shit. Shit shit shit, that was it, wasn't it? He stepped back, his feet as heavy as when his boot camp sergeant had loaded them with lead weights. "I'll message you with my idea about your rations."

Sazahk nodded, brown and pink swirling across his face. "Do that."

Suddenly, Sazahk pulled back on the grip he still had around Garin's wrist and reeled him in. Without warning, he pressed a gentle, lingering kiss to his lips.

But before Garin could appreciate it, it was over.

Sazahk caressed his cheek as Garin blinked, off balance and in denial. "I'll see you soon."

Garin gathered himself enough to press his lips to Sazahk's palm and nodded once, twice, three times. "Yeah." But they both knew that wasn't true. Garin didn't know when he'd next see Sazahk in person, but it wouldn't be soon.

Bending every fiber of his will to the task, Garin turned around. He found Squad M lining his route to the exit, expressions sullen and postures bleak.

As though Garin were leaving on a suicide mission.

Or flying to the other end of the galaxy, never to return.

It kind of fucking felt like it.

Garin couldn't meet their eyes as he rushed off the ship.