Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Half of Sazahk's mind watched the steady readout of Garin's vitals streaming into his implant while the second half watched the rise and fall of his chest through his own two eyes. They both told him the same thing: that Garin was alive. Not exactly well—a bullet had ripped through his abdomen—but alive, and considering the quality of Qeshian medical care, likely to be well soon.

And yet, Sazahk couldn't tear himself away. He needed to see Garin's chest rise again. He needed to feel the beat of Garin's pulse as though it were his own.

Sazahk touched the back of Garin's hand. Warm. His skin was as warm as it should be, and deep brown flushed up Sazahk's fingertips. Affection pressed against the inside of his ribcage, reminding him of the resolution he'd made when he started this vigil at Garin's bedside hours ago.

He would tell Garin how he felt.

They should have had the conversation the week before, when they were trekking through the Dead Zone every day and spending every night in each other's arms. Sazahk should have told Garin every hour how much he fascinated, comforted, and aroused him. Instead, he'd pushed him away.

Sazahk had feared his feelings were a trap. Now he realized the trap had been his own fear.

Garin should have still gone after Dom. Sazahk slipped his fingers into Garin's palm and squeezed his hand. But he should have gone knowing how Sazahk felt about him.

And maybe now that Dom was strictly under the protection of the Insects, for better or for worse, Garin wouldn't ever have to go risk his life ever again.

Or at least, not seriously risk it.

Patrick had cleared the resourcing with the Klah'Eel branch of the sector-wide Insect task force to create another position within their squad. The role was specifically to protect Sazahk as he continued his research in the Dead Zone and conducted joint projects with the Insect settlement being established at the heart of it.

And the role was Garin's, if he wanted it. Sazahk brushed his thumb along Garin's skin and trailed his eyes up from Garin's chest to his face, smooth in the peacefulness of sleep. The compensation wasn't anything compared to what the Turners had paid him, but he wouldn't be surrounded by violence all the time and…he'd be with Sazahk.

That had to count for something. Sazahk swallowed. He hoped it counted for something. He wasn't sure beyond all reasonable doubt that Garin even had an interest in a relationship with him or if the nature of that relationship would align with the nature of the relationship Sazahk was interested in.

He was only sure that he had to try.

He just needed Garin to wake up first.

"Oh, you must be a friend."

Sazahk snatched his hand out of Garin's when an older human woman opened the door. The woman's green eyes widened at the movement.

"Or more than a friend?"

"A colleague." Sazahk stood quickly, his uncomfortable shyness intensifying when a younger woman he recognized pushed into the room after the older one. "You're Beaty Garin." Beaty stopped at the sight of him as the older woman had. The older woman who Sazahk suddenly realized could only be one person. "And you're Garin's mother."

"Margaret Garin, but you can call me Maggie." The woman's lips quirked into a smile so like her son's, it erased any doubts as to her identity. She held out her hand. "And you are…?"

"Sazahk." Sazahk almost didn't take the proffered limb. He'd never liked or understood the Human custom. But then he remembered that this was Garin's mother, one of the most important people in the galaxy to the man, and he hurried to correct himself, shaking the woman's hand, maybe a bit too forcefully. "I worked briefly with Garin recently, or at least he was assigned to work with me, or rather, he was assigned to ensure I survived my journey, which I did as he's extremely capable at what he does, as I'm sure you're aware."

Margaret and Beaty's eyebrows rose as Sazahk sputtered through too many words with too many details and he snapped his lips shut.

"But you're here to see him, of course." Sazahk stepped away from his post at Garin's side and gestured for them to take his place. "He's stable, but he hasn't woken, which is to be expected given the medications administered to keep him unconscious to aid in the healing process, but they've discontinued those, so he should wake soon."

"Thank you." Margaret gave him a warm smile and Sazahk jumped when she squeezed his forearm, then she and Beaty both clustered at Garin's bed, Beaty picking up the hand Sazahk had dropped.

Sazahk drifted into a far corner, giving the family space.

He bit his lip as a familiar pain oozed through the grooves of his psyche. He hadn't felt it so acutely in a long time. He'd deliberately oriented himself in his surroundings and in his relationships to avoid ever feeling it again after its omnipresence during his childhood and young adult life.

Isolation.

The agonizing certainty that he didn't belong.

After a few minutes, the door banged open and two identical young men tramped in, one balancing four paper cups of steaming liquid and the other boxes of snacks from the cafeteria.

"You got to hand it to the Qesh. Their stations are way better than the Human ones." The first man unloaded his precarious burden onto the table beside Garin's head. "They even had coffee."

"Weird food choices, but this stuff looked good." The second man piled his boxes up next to the cups, then grabbed one and started opening it as he turned around. "I think it—oh! Hello."

He stopped dead when he caught sight of Sazahk in the corner.

The first man spun around at his brother's exclamation. "Oh, shit, hi, I didn't see you there."

"Ethan, Lucas, this is Sazahk. Kevin's…" Margaret's eyes glinted. "Colleague."

"Dang, I wasn't expecting anyone else. Here." The first man—Ethan; Sazahk recognized him from the freckle on the left hinge of his jaw—strode over and pushed a steaming paper cup into Sazahk's hand. "I'll go grab another one."

"No, please, that's not necessary." Sazahk tried to return the cup before the man left. "I don't need one. In fact, I would prefer not to have one. Please take it back."

"Oh, right." Ethan sucked his teeth and relieved Sazahk of the cup and the odd feeling of guilt that had come with it. "You a klak man?"

"No, I've never had much interest in or need for stimulants of any kind." Sazahk shook his head.

The second man—Lucas, he had the thicker eyebrows—laughed. "You sound like Kevin."

Beaty giggled, then deepened her voice. "Caffeine addiction is a liability, Lucas."

"Don't make fun of your brother while he's unconscious," Margaret tsked, her tone more playful than chiding.

"Well, we're not allowed to make fun of him when he's not in the room, either." Ethan left Sazahk in his corner and dropped into a free chair. "And he's only ever in the room when he's unconscious."

Sazahk watched the family rib each other and fuss over Garin, petting his hair and holding his hands, and considered leaving with a pit in his stomach.

He didn't want to leave. The thought of leaving Garin when he'd only just got him back alive made his eyes burn. But a disappointment lurked in his gut too and when he recognized it, his embarrassment only added to his sickness.

He realized he'd been looking forward to Garin waking and finding Sazahk at his side. He'd thought Garin would be happy to see him, surprised and maybe delighted. He'd thought maybe that Garin would even be excited to discuss the possibility of a future for them.

But now seeing Garin's lovely and loving family arrayed around him, Sazahk felt intolerably silly for ever thinking Garin would be excited to see him. What was waking up to Sazahk's face compared to waking up to the faces of his family? With them here, Sazahk's presence felt more like a detriment. He was an awkward distraction when Garin should enjoy his siblings and his mother. He saw them so little, and he loved them so much.

And besides, Sazahk wasn't going to confess his feelings with an audience, so maybe it was best that Sazahk left. He'd still monitor Garin's vitals through his implant, even if he wouldn't see his eyes when they opened.

"So, what sort of colleague are you?" Beaty asked, just as Sazahk made up his mind to sneak for the door.

"A temporary one." Sazahk paused, surprised to be addressed but anxious to make a good impression. "I was an assignment, really. He was charged with my protection."

"What did he need to protect you from?" Ethan asked around a mouthful of food from his second box.

"Myself, he would say," Sazahk replied, and all the Garin siblings laughed.

"Yeah, that sounds right." Lucas tilted his cup at Sazahk.

"In actuality, the elements and the unknown were the threats and Garin was chosen because of his experience with threats of all sorts and because Dominic Turner trusts him." Sazahk settled down once he realized all eyes were on him and that they weren't so hostile after all.

"Oh Dominic." Beaty's face fell. "I feel so bad for him. Can you imagine?"

Sazahk could not, in fact, imagine the future in store for Dom, though he supposed he had been the instigator of its architecture.

Alistair Turner, for all his bluster, had clearly wanted his son's life saved. Admittedly, he'd also wanted to safeguard the power he'd grown accustomed to that Dom's actions had threatened. Prince Hyg had wanted an end to the political deadlock that kept his people confined to the Colony Ship on which they withered away. Those two desires, combined with the fact that the only laws that trumped an individual species state's were those designed to ensure diplomatic functioning between species, and the solution seemed obvious in retrospect.

Alistair Turner had betrothed his eldest son to Prince Hyg in exchange for pushing through the Insects' settlement claim on Qesha.

"It's a better future than being dead." Lucas shrugged.

"Is it?" Beaty raised her eyebrows. "What if he's awful?"

Sazahk frowned. "I don't think Prince Hyg will be awful."

"I'm still pretty sure it's better than dead." Ethan tossed his empty box in the trash. "And it's definitely better than him being dead and taking Kevin with him."

No one in the room argued that. Sazahk liked Dom. He did. But in a contest between Dom and Garin, he knew who he'd choose.

Margaret turned to Sazahk with a smile. "And so then are you?—"

The line from Garin's many monitors that Sazahk had watched for the past several hours finally jumped up and Sazahk's heart leapt with it. "He's waking."

Garin's family closed in around him and Sazahk froze with his foot poised to step closer. Right. Family first. Awkward scientist with a crush second. If that.

Sazahk faded back into the shadows, mentally clutching at every strand of information that poured out of the medical equipment hooked to Garin's body. Vital signs stable. Neural processes normal. Sazahk couldn't see him, but he saw the spike in brain activity that meant he'd opened his eyes.

"Mom?" Garin's voice was hoarse but strong and Sazahk's stomach flipped to hear it.

"Hi, sweetie." Margaret bent over and kissed his forehead.

"How did you—Beaty?"

"Hey, Kev."

"And us." Lucas leaned over his sister to force himself into Garin's field of view.

"But we all know she's your favorite." Ethan leaned on him and shoved Beaty down onto the bed.

"Hey!"

Garin laughed, the sound rich and solid, and Sazahk tangled his fingers together. He sounded good. Sazahk wished he could catch just a glimpse of him. "What the hell are you all doing here?"

"Waiting for you to wake up." Ethan reached down and poked him.

Lucas nodded. "And hoping that you don't die."

"Mostly making sure you had someone to wake up to." Beaty elbowed Ethan off her, then leaned to the side, and Sazahk finally had a clear view of Garin. "Turns out, you didn't need us for that, though."

Garin's green eyes widened, and his lips parted when he saw Sazahk.

Sazahk felt the flush of gray and brown run up his throat and into his cheeks. "Hi."

Garin blinked and licked his lips. "Hi."

Margaret glanced at Sazahk, then at her son with an encouraging smile. "We came as soon as we docked, and he was already here."

"As soon as you…" Garin shook his head and tore his eyes from Sazahk. "Mom, how did you even get here?"

"I brought her here." Alistair Turner strode into the room, eye-catching in his silver suit trimmed in platinum, his gray hair slicked back, his deep voice dominating the space. "As well as your young siblings. Bringing your family to you during your recovery was the least I could do after everything you sacrificed for mine."

"Mr. Turner." Garin struggled to push himself to sitting and Sazahk wanted to shove him down at the wince that crossed his features.

"Easy there." Alistair placed a hand on Garin's back and helped him sit up. "I don't want to disturb your rest. I only want to convey my extreme gratitude for the loyalty you showed my son."

Alistair's hand on Garin's body made Sazahk's skin crawl, but despite his misgivings, he had to admit that the older man's tone sounded genuine.

"You were steadfast, dependable, adaptable, and you kept him alive in a situation that he frankly should not have left in one piece." Alistair took out his tablet, tapped it a few times, and Garin's on the table beside him dinged. "The Insects have assumed all responsibility for Dominic's security, thus he no longer has need of your services. But men like you, Mr. Garin, are hard to find. I want you to know that the Turner Corporation values you highly and we are interested in compensating you accordingly." He nodded to Garin's tablet. "There is an updated job offer waiting for you there."

Panic seized Sazahk's throat. No, that wasn't supposed to happen. That wasn't what Sazahk had expected. A wave of guilt drowned the panic out. This was a good thing. It was a good thing for Garin and his family, and that meant it was a good thing for Sazahk.

Garin pulled his shoulders back and nodded. "That's very kind and generous of you, Mr. Turner, and it's appreciated. With Dominic under the care of the Insects, may I ask what the job is?"

Alistair smiled and when he spoke, it was clear he considered himself to be delivering incredible news. "Head of my personal security detail."

Garin's eyebrows shot up.

"Yes. I don't need to tell you I am a very high-risk target," Alistair chuckled. "The job is demanding and dangerous. You will accompany me on all my business trips, and I make a lot of them. Many of them to less than secure locations." He lifted the left corner of his lips in a smirk. "But I assure you the pay is commensurate with the difficulty."

Garin's eyes shone with hope and Sazahk felt guilty anew for the pit in his stomach. "That's an incredible opportunity, sir."

"I'm glad you see it that way." Alistair beamed at him, then turned that winning smile on the rest of the Garin family. He hadn't seen Sazahk in the shadows in the corner, and Sazahk wasn't interested in rectifying that. "The position doesn't begin for another week. The day after the gala celebrating my son's engagement. In the meantime, please relax and enjoy your time together."

"Thank you." Garin nodded proudly, but his fingers twitched toward the tablet where the offer waited. The offer, Sazahk recognized, that could pay for the meds that miraculously allowed Garin's mother to sit there beside him, alert and present.

"Of course. It was a pleasure to meet you all." Alistair gave one last nod to the family and made his exit. Sazahk couldn't help reaching through his implant to nudge the door closed extra hard behind him.

As soon as Alistair disappeared, Garin lunged for his tablet.

"Hey!" Beaty cried, rearing out of the way. "Easy with your bullet hole."

"It's fine," Garin replied without looking at her, scrolling rapidly on his tablet. "Holy shit."

"That good, huh?" Lucas exchanged a less than ecstatic glance with his brother and Beaty.

Garin stared at his screen, then collapsed back on his pillows and laughed. "Yeah. Fuck, yeah, it's good."

That peculiar affection, so acute it hurt, tightened around Sazahk's throat. Relief rolled off Garin in waves, the strength of it evident in the moisture that squeezed out the corner of his eyes as he laughed.

"Let me see." Ethan snatched the tablet from Garin's loose grip, and turned it toward himself. "Whoa. That's…"

"Enough." Garin opened his eyes and grabbed his mom's hand. "For your meds. With that salary, I can cover them easily. And they…" Garin studied his mother's face, then glanced at Beaty. "Seem to be working?"

Beaty nodded, and Margaret smiled and squeezed Garin's hand. "They're working. But we should talk about their cost."

Garin shook his head. "No, Mom, we don't have to do that."

"We do," Margaret said firmly. But then she extricated her hand and shot Sazahk an impish smile. "But there's someone else here to talk to you first, and he has been waiting very patiently."

"Oh no, I don't want to disrupt." Sazahk raised his hands and backed away. "I understand that in the hierarchy of Garin's loved ones, and those entitled to his time, you're far above me."

Margaret tsked as she stood. "Nonsense."

"Boys," Beaty ordered in a practiced voice as she pushed from her chair, too.

"We'll pick you up something from the cafeteria, Kev." Lucas clapped his brother on the shoulder.

"But we'll knock first!" Ethan grinned and let Beaty shepherd him out the door.

Margaret left last, giving Sazahk a supportive smile as she closed the blinds on her way out.