26. Georgiana

The young man gets my bag. My new bag. The men on this ship have provided me with more clothing than I needed. As I’m walked out to the waiting transport to meet Axl, the captain, first officer, and doctor all wish me well.

“Thank you,” I tell them and I mean it. I was frightened when I first arrived, but after a few meals, they assured me that I’d be taken care of one way or another. And they were true to their word.

The young man escorts me into the hanger bay and I see Axl waiting for me. I want to run to him, but I promised myself that I would be in control of my own emotions no matter what. So I walk towards him at the even pace the young man carrying my bag sets. Although, I can hardly breathe and my heart is beating so fast when I see Axl standing outside the transport. His handsome face is unreadable. Is he angry with me?

Once I’m close enough to speak to him and he says my name, I can’t control myself. I run into his arms and he holds me close to him. It feels divine to be with him again.

“I thought I’d never see you again,” I say. “The men told me you might be coming, but they said it wasn’t for certain.”

“I’m sorry for everything.”

“It’s not your fault,” I immediately say but then ask, “Is it?”

“If it weren’t for me, you’d still be on Earth.”

“And then I would have never met you. I don’t want that Axl.”

“I didn’t return you like I said I would while we were on the Hio. That is my fault.”

The young man has put my bag in the transport and Axl’s guards are scanning it. “It’s just my clothing,” I say, but it doesn’t seem to stop them. Once it’s scanned and is clear of anything dangerous we are told to board. I do and as usual Axl straps me in and sits next to me.

“Are you taking me back to Earth?”

“Is that where you want to go?”

“I can’t go to the Empire, that’s fairly obvious.”

“Why not?”

I look at him in disbelief. “Your Empress imprisoned me and I had the feeling she would’ve killed me if she felt inclined. No offense but I’m never returning there.”

He touches the side of my face and I lean into his hand. “I promise if you were my legal wife that would never happen again.”

“I don’t want to live somewhere I’m hated.”

“My mother and sister don’t hate you.”

“Questionable.”

We arrive on another ship and before I ask him about it, Axl explains, “I’ve rented this ship to take us to Alliance Force. It’ll take about seven days to get there. During that time you can decide whether you actually want to stay on Earth. If you want to stay and never see me again, I understand. I will still make sure you get there safely.”

Once the transporter door opens, we are escorted out. I’m met by the captain of the Lio, and then shown to my quarters. I’m disappointed that I’m not sharing my quarters with Axl, but then again, maybe I’ve misread everything. But that can’t be because he just talked about me moving back to his home and marriage. One thing that seems very constant is how confusing Alliance culture is.

One of the officers carries my bag into my new quarters. When he leaves I open my wardrobe to hang a few things up and I notice that all of my clothing that I had on the Hio is here. And not only that, but my marriage bracelet is also here. I pick it up and hold it in my hands. I want to be married to Axl but I don’t know if I can live in the Empire for it. It’s difficult for me to put the bracelet back, but I tell myself, “I have seven days to decide.”

There’s a chime at my door and I open it. Its Axl.

“Come in.”

“First, I want you to come for a medical exam. I want to make sure you are healthy.”

“Besides being scared these past two weeks I’m fine.” I don’t include being heartbroken when I thought he just let me leave.

“Still, I want to make sure.”

“Fine.” I leave my quarters to follow Axl to the medical center. “The ship is very nice,” I say as we walk through the quiet corridors. It’s not an Alliance military ship, but more like Alliance luxury.

“It’s a diplomatic vessel, so it’s meant to show off the best of the Empire.”

Once we reach the medical center a doctor and an assistant are waiting for us. “Madame Georgiana if you don’t mind,” the doctor says, indicating a private screening area.

I look at Axl, I don’t want to be away from him now that he’s here. “Axl, will you come with me?”

“I’m sorry that’s not permitted as he is not your husband.”

“But…”

“I’ll be right here,” Axl says from the entrance.

I have no reason not to trust Axl or this doctor, so I follow the doctor. He has me lie down on a medical bed while some lights flash above me. He and his assistant look at the computers and begin to ask me questions. But they are odd questions.

“Did any doctors see you onboard any of the vessels you have traveled on after leaving Earth?”

“On the Hio, on the way over, I was allergic to something.”

“Any other time?”

“In House Zu. I was very confused about things.”

“Confused? What did the doctor do?”

“She said she went in my mind and made me less confused.”

“What were you confused about?”

“Whether or not the Empire or aliens were real,” I admit sheepishly. “I know it’s real now.”

“And do you remember any other time you might have seen a doctor?”

“No.”

“Do you trust me to make sure that your thoughts are your own and you haven’t been manipulated?”

“I don’t think that’s necessary. I feel fine.”

“Georgiana, I understand your reluctance, but I want to assure you, I am here as an objective doctor. If I don’t make sure, the doctor on Alliance Force will before he erases all your memories of your time away from Earth.”

“I understand. I don’t want my memories erased even if I return to Earth. Is there anything you can do to make sure that doesn’t happen? I want to remember all of this.”

“It’s against the law to interfere with Alliance Force practices. The only way you will be able to keep all of your memories is by not returning to Earth. Now, are you content that you were not influenced while onboard the last ship?”

“Yes.”

“Let the record state that,” the doctor says to his assistant and then says to me, “All readouts would confirm you are in good physical and mental health. You may go unless you have any questions or concerns for me?”

“Thank you but no.”

“Walk in the god’s light,” the doctor says.

I walk out and see Axl waiting for me. I never want to forget him. But what future do we have?

“The doctor says I’m healthy,” I tell him unnecessarily. “But we need to talk. I don’t want to forget you. But I can’t live on the Capital Planet either.”

Axl caresses my cheek with the back of his hand. “Maybe we can come to a compromise.”

We walk back to my extravagant quarters and sit down in the sitting area.

“I can’t live in the Empire.”

“Going there without being legally married was a mistake. If you trust me, we can go back and it’ll be different.”

“Axl, I love you, but I won’t ever go back. And I can’t let my love alone guide this decision. I need to return to Earth.”

“And if you come to regret your decision?” He asks me, shattered.

“I won’t. Alliance Force will erase my memories so I won’t have anything to regret.”

He touches his hand to his heart. “But your body will know something is off. You’ll always feel that you are missing something. Just because your memories are pushed down doesn’t mean your physical body forgets anything. You’ll always feel the sting of separation.”

Axl opens the 3D computer in the table between us and brings up images of the Empire. “You didn’t see the best side of the Empire; I couldn’t show it to you before you were taken. But there are humans who live there. And people of other species who trade there. You wouldn’t be alone.” Then a thought occurs to him and he accesses the Alliance Force records. I recognize their symbol.

“How do you have these records?”

“I make sure I do all my homework when I make deals with people,” Axl says as if this was a given. “See these are all the human women who have passed through Alliance Force and are now living with their Alliance husbands on the Capital Planet.”

This is interesting to me and I lean closer to look at the pictures, names, and ages of the women. “What happened that all these women had to be retrieved from Earth?” Before Axl answers I add with horror, “Why does that one say, ‘former pet?’”

“People have their kinks in the galaxy,” Axl says. “I am not one of them.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not. Have I ever treated you like a pet?”

I don’t answer him because he’s right. In fact, I’ve been treated reasonably well given the circumstances.

“But this isn’t to say there isn’t racism in the Empire. Of course there is.”

“I know, I experienced it firsthand. But why the Alliance Force? If the Empire isn’t too fond of humanity then what’s the point?”

“To protect humanity from other alien species who would do you harm,” he explains and brings up images of disgusting looking aliens and some aliens that look like the ones everyone who has ever been abducted describes.

“Those,” I point to the green men. “Everyone always talks about those guys doing experiments on documentaries about UFOs.”

“The Dulu have been abducting humans for centuries. They are one of humanitys predators.”

“Predators? We aren’t helpless bunnies.”

“I don’t know exactly what a bunny is, but humanity doesn’t have many defenses against advanced space faring civilizations. Sending out an invitation with Earth’s address on it wasn’t clever either.”

“An invitation, what are you talking about?”

Axl brings up a picture and I recognize it immediately. It’s the golden record NASA thought it was a clever idea to put on Voyager 1 and Voyager 2. “I think everyone with any sense was hoping those got lost or destroyed. It was so stupid. Even when they did it, lots of people knew it was a bad idea,” I say thinking about a science fiction film about Voyager returning after centuries. “But I still don’t understand why employ the Alliance Force if Alliance people don’t like humans?”

“Humans are us. Do you think it’s merely a coincidence that we look the same bar our skin color? Earth has a much warmer climate. Your skin tones evolved differently, and you don’t have night vision.”

“How?”

“Don’t you remember the Lost People myth that you heard at the Grand City Temple? A ship was lost a long time ago. Its survivors made a home on Earth. Some mixed with the local humanoids.”

“So some of us could be completely human and not what you call Alliance at all?”

“Could be,” he agrees. “We could do a DNA test if you really wanted to know, but I doubt it and you don’t have the look either. Your face structure is quite imperial.”

“Stop, now you are trying to change the subject.”

“Possibly,” he admits. “But it’s true, you do look like an Alliance woman, but in a washed out skin tone.”

“Washed out?”

“I don’t mean to be negative. I mean less color.”

“I would say grey is less color.”

“Then we will have to disagree. It’s all a matter of perspective.”

Just then a chime at the door. Axl gets up to answer it and I continue to read the information on the 3D screen. I try to use the virtual keyboard that appeared on the table to get it to go back to the files of the women who recently transferred through the Alliance Force. I look at their pictures and briefly read some of their files.

“Could I visit Earth if I lived with you?”

“Unfortunately, that’s illegal,” he tells me. “Earth still has not joined an organization called the Galactic Court. Until they do, any human who has gone longer than one imperial year from Earth can never return.”

“But then how are all these human women on Earth after they’ve been gone for years?”

“Touché. Not all laws are enforced and exceptional circumstances were made immediately after the law was changed. Unfortunately, none of those apply to you.”

“So I could return. It would just be illegal.”

“Yes and I’m not even entertaining that as an option because that would put my life and career in jeopardy for breaking galactic laws.”

“I can’t just leave Earth and live in the Empire, though.”

“You already have left Earth. You passed through the Alliance Force like a professional galactic spy and managed to even impress my mother and sister and the Empress so much that they wanted you off the planet and out of the Empire as quickly as possible. Maybe you’re not meant to be on Earth?”

“I did, didn’t I?” I smile. “But what would my future look like? I don’t want to be a prisoner on an alien planet.”

Axl picks me up as if I weigh nothing. “Let’s finish this conversation in bed.”

“Don’t confuse me.”

He gives me a baffled look.

“I need to think about this without you kissing me.”

“I think you need to be kissed to remind you of our connection. Only then will you make the right choice.”

Axl sets me in the middle of the large bed and then lies down next to me. Despite what I just said I allow him to hold me, my head on his chest. I can feel his heart beating. I feel so content despite being in such an unfortunate situation. Is this what love feels like?

After a few minutes of silence he says, “Before I met you, I thought I would die alone. Even if I had married, another wouldn’t have touched my soul. But now, I can’t imagine having to say goodbye to you.”

“I find it hard to believe that you didn’t meet anyone you liked, you’re almost fifty.”

“I courted a few women when I first came of age, but it never worked out.”

“Why not?”

“Many reasons. The first being that despite everything looking perfect on paper, in reality there was no spark.”

“And the second reason?”

“Can’t you figure it out?”

“Your mother or sister didn’t like the women?”

“No, quite the opposite.”

“The Empress?”

“Yes, I don’t want to lie to you. The Empress and I have a strange relationship for cousins.”

“Oh,” I say and then ask the question I don’t want to know the answer to, but must ask, “Are you kissing cousins?”

“There was a time before she was married and I was young and foolish. But I swear to you it was only once.”

Maybe incest is okay in the Empire. “Why didn’t you marry her?”

“We are cousins. It’s forbidden. And if I’m being completely honest and I’ve never told anyone this, I think I was drugged. And I’m not just saying that because I wish it never happened. I’m mentioning it because I’ve never really been attracted to her like she is to me. And ever since it happened, I have been blackmailed by what happened. If anyone ever found out, we had been so intimate, I would be ruined.”

“How would they know what really happened? It would be her word against yours. Did she record it?”

“Yes of course it was recorded. I did not agree that I remember, but she’s more powerful than I am.”

“Wouldn’t the Empress be even more shamed?”

“No. She’s a woman. I would be the one held accountable. Under Alliance and galactic law by definition only a man can rape.”

“That’s convenient for Alliance women,” I remark. “What’s changed now? Doesn’t the Empress still have this over you?”

“You have changed me,” he runs his hands through my hair and begins unbraiding it. “I never knew what I was missing before you. And I think over the years, I convinced myself that I liked the way the Empress treated me like her favorite, but that’s because I never really felt the fire of genuinely wanting a woman. And when she took you from me, it changed me forever. That action awoke my inner soul, not only because I knew I must see you again, but also because I could no longer lie to myself about the women in my life. They had gone too far.”

“How is it that women have so much power?”

“The Empire is a matriarchy. They’ve always had the power.”

“Don’t look at me like that,” I say. “I was only there for a few days and look at all the Alliance men in these ships in the galaxy. That to me doesn’t scream ‘matriarchy.’ Earth is a patriarchy and men control all the ships and women couldn’t work or go anywhere for a long time. Some still can’t. So you see how confusing it is? In the Empire, men are on all the ships and the women don’t go anywhere. I would imagine a matriarchy to play out with men at home and women not allowing them to go anywhere because that’s the way it looks on Earth for women.”

“Our histories are different from the beginning. In the Alliance men have always been used for our strength. And we accepted women’s rule freely for millions of years. Everything in our culture is about women. Men are secondary.”

“But you worship the gods, you talk about them all the time.”

“No, that’s what you hear. Your native language is patriarchal. You don’t hear the exact words people are using. You hear what your language has already prescribed.”

“So the gods are actually the goddesses?”

“Yes.”

“How is that possible?”

“Languages are more than just words. They don’t develop without culture. Translators cannot work without knowledge of the cultures the languages come from.”

“This is why Earth translators are terrible,” I say. “They are only using the words, not the culture.”

“I didn’t know humans had translators.”

“We don’t. I did think it was odd there were so many women in power, I just assumed that was part of women’s equality movement.”

“A lot of civilizations get it wrong at first. It’s confusing because Alliance women refuse to leave our territory but that’s only because it’s dangerous and they trust men to do their bidding. Alliance women have always seen men as expendable.”

“Why don’t Alliance men just stop doing their bidding?”

“It goes against the gods to disobey women.”

“Of course it does,” I say, but I catch myself from being too scathing given what I saw in the High Priestess’s Punishment Rooms.

“But now, I want more equality from a woman, not someone who looks at me like a piece of meat to be ordered around. You have never looked at me like you were just waiting for me to stop talking to tell me what to do. And I do believe the gods sent you to me.”

“Axl,” I feel responsible for ruining his life now if he’s left everything for me and I can’t leave Earth for him. “What are we going to do?”