9. Lisa

Consciousness comes back to me slowly. My body is sore and yet I’m somehow boneless all at once. I wonder at this strange phenomenon until realization comes crashing over me like a tidal wave.

I slept with Ozadus.

My eyes snap open and that relaxed, boneless state I was in becomes tense alertness. Without even having to turn over, I know Ozadus is sleeping right behind me.

All at once my mind begins racing at the speed of light. In the moment it seemed right. We’ve been cooped up together for the past few days and something like a connection has formed between us. A little fun with a bad boy seemed like it might be nice.

Except Ozadus isn’t just some bad boy type I found at a bar. He’s the real deal. A thief. A murderer. And who knows what else?

Oh, yeah. He’s also the guy who kidnapped me.

“What have I done?” I murmur quietly to myself.

Immediately I tense, hoping he didn’t hear. But I can hear his still steady breathing behind me. Still fast asleep.

That only serves to calm me a little. I still slept with the guy, after all. I want to scream.

What was I thinking? This guy is dangerous. This is the guy who kidnapped me! Sure he didn’t intend to, but he sure didn’t turn the ship around and let me off either.

Though he has been good to me during our time together. All those conversations and meals and holostreams we watched together…

Oh, please tell me I’m not developing Stockholm syndrome or something like that. The thought makes my heart pound so loudly inside my chest that I’m surprised it doesn’t wake up Ozadus.

The room suddenly feels too small. As quietly as I can, I slip out of bed. I go into the cabin I claimed for myself on the ship and try to wash away a bit of the shame I feel.

I bury my face in my hands as the water washes over me. I’m always making such reckless decisions when it comes to things like this. I get too attached too quickly, and it always bites me in the ass.

When I feel slightly calmer, I slip out and put on some spare clothes I found. My body seems to move in slow motion as I walk into the galley and curl up into one of the chairs.

Stupid. So, so stupid.

The biggest question for me is what he’s playing at in the first place. I’m just a human mechanic. Surely he’s got options out there better suited to him. In fact, with a body like his, I know he’s got better options out there.

My mind very unhelpfully conjures up recent memories of that oh-so-perfect body of his and what it can do.

“Stop it,” I scold myself. That is exactly what led to this position in the first place.

But what’s done is done. Now what am I supposed to do?

I sink further into my chair. Oh, shit, what am I supposed to do now? This isn’t like any other one-night stand where I can just bail and never see the guy again. We’re stuck on the same ship. I want to kick myself.

Glancing at the clock, I realize that Ozadus is going to be waking up soon. What am I supposed to say? Would he understand that I was interested in the moment, but now I’m not feeling it? It’s not a risk I’m willing to take with a criminal while we’re trapped on the same ship.

As I try to devise a plan to sort this mess out, Ozadus walks in. Shirtless.

My traitorous eyes immediately drift to his beautiful, bare chest.

“Didn’t get enough of an eyeful last night?”

I snatch my gaze away from his chest and up into his smirking face. My own face immediately heats. I let out a, hopefully convincing, embarrassed laugh. “I guess not.”

He furrows his brow a little but then seems to dismiss whatever was troubling him the next instant. “Breakfast?” he asks.

I nod, and he begins cooking. All the while, he tries to make conversation with me like he always does. And I try to respond like I usually would, but even I can tell my heart isn’t fully into it.

“Did you sleep well?” he asks, almost with a tinge of pride.

I respond with a laugh even I don’t believe. The sound of cooking must be too loud because he doesn’t react. He just stands there, shirtless and ripped, cooking me a delicious and perfect breakfast.

I sink hard into my chair. Why? Why did I have to fall for his charms? Why did he have to be a criminal? A murderer? I know exactly why. Because that’s the type of man I’ve always dreamed of.

But dreams can become nightmares, easily. And now I’m, unfortunately, waking up.

When Ozadus sets out our food and takes a seat across from me, the frown is back on his face. “What’s on your mind?” he asks bluntly.

For a moment, the starkness of the question takes me back a little. I shrug and avert my gaze. “I think I’m just feeling a little claustrophobic is all. I’ve never been stuck on a ship in space this long. And being away from home hasn’t helped either.”

I look back at him and see his frown has turned considering. He nods slowly. “You’re right, it isn’t fair that I’ve kept you here so long.”

My heart leaps. Has he actually gotten the hint? Is he going to let me off at the next stop?

He smiles at me, reaches across the table, and squeezes my hand. “There’s a spaceport coming up soon. We’ll take a few hours to refuel and look around for a while before heading back out. I bet that will do you a galaxy’s worth of good.”

My heart sinks, and I have to fight not to let it show on my face. Before we head back to space? Is he serious? This is the perfect opportunity to ditch the stowaway that derailed his thievery plans, why keep me on?

It’s a question I don’t think I want answered.

One thing, though, keeps my world from crashing down. We are going to a spaceport. We’re getting off this ship. Which means I can get away.

With a new goal in mind and my determination set, I squeeze his hand and give him a genuine smile. “That sounds like a great idea.”

In a few hours, we’re touching down on a small outpost planet. Small, but with a sizable spaceport. This means there are plenty of options for ships to get on and get away from whatever this is.

We walk down the ramp of the ship together, and I take a moment to appreciate the open space and solid ground of a planet.

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Ozadus watching me with a small smile on his face. “You really were planet sick. Happens to a lot of people who don’t travel through space a lot.”

“It’s nice,” I murmur.

“I need to go purchase some fuel. Why don’t you take a moment to look around? See if there’s anywhere good to eat.”

I try not to show my surprise. Ozadus has unintentionally just handed me the opportunity I need to slip away unnoticed.

Giving him my best smile, I nod. “On it.”

Ozadus turns to walk away and then stops. My whole body tenses as he does so. Did he change his mind about leaving me by myself? Is he going to demand I stay with him now?

A much more frightening thought comes to mind. Maybe he’s figured out what I plan to do. Maybe he’s realized his error and now…

Ozadus turns back to me and places a lingering kiss on my forehead. The gesture is so intimate and yet so tender that I’m completely frozen by it.

Am I making a mistake? Is he really so dangerous, or am I overreacting?

He pulls away and smirks. “I’ll see you soon. Let’s meet here back at the ship in an hour. Sounds good?”

“Sounds good,” I repeat dumbly. I watch as he walks away and then disappears out of sight.

For a moment, I wonder if I’m wrong. Maybe he really does care about me and has been genuine this whole time.

But if I’m right, and I stay, it might mean my life. And I might not get a chance like this again.

So, with a heavy heart, I turn from the ship and begin looking for a ride off this rock. Within half an hour, I find a merchant ship willing to take me back to my world so long as I ride in the cargo bay.

In another half hour, we’re lifting off from the spaceport and away from Ozadus. Then, away from Ozadus and the immediate possible threat of it all, a few regrets start to come to mind.

I hate that I left so abruptly without so much as a goodbye or an explanation. Maybe he would have listened and we could have worked it out. Maybe he would have left me here and gone on his way.

He was never cruel to me during our time aboard the Emery. Arrogant and brooding, sure, but never mean or degrading.

In fact, most of the time he was almost nice to be around. Eating meals with him and even just washing dishes together felt nice. Like a bit of solace in a storm.

Maybe I should have tried just talking to him.

I let out a long sigh. Ozadus isn’t just some guy, though. He’s a criminal. He’s made no secret about what he does and what he can do. His whole life is steeped in shadows, blood, and thievery.

Could I really trust someone like that?

Pushing away my doubts, I steel my resolve. I did what I had to do. If he really cares about me at all, he’ll understand. A part of me hopes he does, at least.

I can’t deny, though, that there was something between us. In between moments of laughter, animated conversation, and meals, I swear I could almost feel something there. Like a part of me never wanted to leave him.

A shiver goes through me at that thought. Maybe that’s why I needed to leave him. I’ve never been the best when it comes to giving my heart away. How the hell could I trust myself to give my heart to this strange man I only just met? A dangerous criminal, no less, who kidnapped me.

I close my eyes and lean against the cargo crate. No sense in thinking about it now. Like I said, I’ll never see him again anyway.