13. Lisa

“So, with the oil change, fuel line upgrade, and general tune up, your total comes to... Ma’am?” I look up from my comm pad to see my customer cooing over my infant daughter, Zhara.

“Aren’t you such a cutie? I’ve never seen a baby like her before. Is she half Kaleidian?” the old woman asks sweetly.

I frown. It’s getting exhausting hearing people talk about my baby like they’re discussing dog breeds.

“Her dad’s Kaleidian, yeah,” I say softly. The splashes of blue on her tiny face are a dead giveaway, of course. But it’s not like half Kaleidian half human babies are in abundance around here. So it’s often a daily affair discussing my kid’s ethnic heritage with prying strangers. “Anyway, your total is –”

“Yes yes,” the woman scoffs, seemingly upset that cooing over Zhara isn’t payment enough for an entire day of working on her ship. She taps on her own comm pad and finalizes the payment. I smile and hand over her keys.

Beth returns to the desk from her break and picks up Zhara from her high chair.

“Auntie Beth is back!” she cries out. Zhara giggles and makes a babbling sound, looking between the two of us.

“Thanks again, Beth. I know this isn’t what you were hired to do,” I say. Beth waves me off dismissively and bounces Zhara on her side.

“It’s fine. Honestly, hanging out with Zhara is way more fun than getting motor oil in my hair, or getting chased by reactor flies. Isn’t that right?” Beth asks in a high pitched voice.

Yeah, it’s fun for Beth. Meanwhile, my work takes almost twice as long without her hands to help, and I have to trust Zhara will be safe inside the office while I’m outside working on ship and hover car engines.

I was already barely making enough to scrape by on my own. Now, with a baby to take care of, I have to cut financial corners wherever I can to make things work. Unfortunately, the biggest cut expense was any sort of daycare or babysitting. It just made more sense to take Zhara to work with me. But I also work with too many noxious chemicals and sharp objects to keep her strapped to my chest.

So, I count myself eternally lucky that Beth actually volunteered to watch her. And it’s not all bad. Sometimes I get a job simple enough that I can keep Zhara nearby and sing her little songs or tell her stories while I work.

Those are the best moments of my life.

“Besides, one day she’ll be old enough to start school. And you’ll miss having her around all the time,” Beth says.

“Yeah, but I’ll be grateful to have you back in the field with me.” I playfully tap my wrench against Beth’s shoulder before replacing it in my apron.

“What if Zhara didn’t have to go to school?” Beth asks wistfully. “She could learn the trade! Join the ‘family business’! Oh!”

Beth sits a giggling Zhara down in the chair behind the counter. “Hello, Mister Captain! How can I help you today?” Beth says, moving Zhara back and forth like a puppet. “Your engine blew up? That’s gonna cost ya!”

I smile and shake my head. “As cute as your idea is, there’s no way Zhara isn’t going to school.” I pick up my baby girl and hold her close. She reaches out for a strand of hair that escaped my bandana. “Plus, there is such a thing as child labor laws, you know. Even if the other businesses around here seem to have forgotten.”

“I know,” Beth says while rolling her eyes. The door opens with a bell chime, and a new customer strolls in. “I’ll get that. Go take a break with Zhara.”

I smile appreciatively at my assistant and walk Zhara back to the tiny break room. The table is covered in small toys, and the fridge is full of milk and baby food. My daughter is practically being raised in this garage, and thankfully so far no one has complained.

She reaches for the soft rubber tool set Beth bought her. She takes the screwdriver and holds it like a natural, making my heart soar. Maybe one day my little girl will take after her mother, becoming an ace mechanic and telling old men they need to take better care of their ships.

But I want her to make that decision for herself. Zhara should be able to live freely, making her own way in the galaxy however she sees fit. I want her to have the safety and stability she needs to grow into a capable, smart young woman.

And that’s why I can’t bring Ozadus into her life.

It’s tempting sometimes, especially on days when no one comes in for repairs and the shop’s finances run thin. I can’t help but think about how much money Ozadus must make and how much easier it would be to let him pick up his part of the responsibility.

But that convenience comes with its own price tag, one I’m not at all willing to risk Zhara to pay. A life of crime can be exciting and fruitful, sure, but eventually it has to come to an end.

You piss off the wrong guy with too many guns, or the authorities come knocking. Or, just like Ozadus once told me, you try to break free from the life, and they make sure you don’t live long enough to regret it.

I thought long and hard about my decision, and I came to the sad conclusion that bringing Ozauds into Zhara’s life only to have him violently stolen from her would be far worse than her never knowing him at all.

It’s unfortunate, but I do what I must to protect my little girl. Even if that means raising her by myself and all the struggles that come with it.

I made my decision, and I’m willing to put in the work to stand by it.

“Hey!” Beth says, peeking her head in the break room door. “This guy just needs a quick oil change on his car, super old model. I can take care of it myself. “

“Are you sure?” I ask, standing up.

“Completely. Chill out, spend some time with your daughter. It’s gonna fly by faster than you know!” Beth gives me a mock salute and heads back out.

After a moment, I sit back down, knowing she’s more than capable of handling a simple oil change.

I was wrong, of course. I’m not raising Zhara completely alone. I have Beth, who always had my back, and really stepped up when she found out I was pregnant. She’s like a little sister to me, and I don’t know where I’d be without her.

And then there was my neighbor, a sweet older human woman, who always had kind words of encouragement and a pot of soup for me. She’s too frail to watch Zhara on her own, but she’s always there to help when she can.

I have plenty of help, I don’t need Ozadus or his blood money. Still, every time I think about him, I get a small lurch of longing in my chest. It’s not just his parental support I wish I had. It’s him in general.

We had a great time together. He was charming, romantic, and really seemed to be into me. Ozadus was the kind of man I’d always fantasized about.

And that was the problem, wasn’t it? Bad boys are great in theory. Exciting and dangerous are thrilling for a night of fun, not so much for raising a fragile little baby.

Still, he’s on my mind now, and against my better judgment I pull up the holonet on my comm pad.

I search his name, like I do every few months or so. I always did so expecting to read the worst, like an arrest record or his name scattered among thousands of others in a notice of expiration section of some news site.

But the last time I did this, I found something interesting. He owns a courier company these days. He’d supposedly started up a new business delivering goods through space. At the time, I assumed it was some sort of front for his crime gang’s illegal activities.

Why wouldn’t it be? Make up a company that looks legit, then use it to trade weapons and drugs. It’s a scheme so cliche it’s practically part of every romantic thriller out there.

But the site is still live. And even more interesting, there’s a shiny little badge at the bottom of the screen. It claims he’s Interplanetary Tradesmen and Transportation certified.

I’ve worked on ships long enough to know what that is. His business has been audited and scrutinized by the ITT board. They’re a credentialing group that ensures all business being done in open space is safe and legal. Their badge on your business is pretty much a glowing recommendation that you’re legit.

“Huh,” I whisper to myself. “Looks like Daddy may be doing something right.” Or maybe not. It’s probably pretty easy to make a counterfeit digital asset like the badge and slap it on your site. But the ITT board is also notorious for protecting their good name. A counterfeit badge from them probably wouldn’t stay up long.

For a moment, I have to wonder if Ozadus is actually turning a new leaf. If he has…well, that would change everything. Maybe he’s not raking in the dough like he was in the crime world, but surely his work is stable enough if he”s been able to run it this long.

And, I have to wonder, doesn’t he deserve to know he has a kid? That thought gives me pause, as it always does. Would he want anything to do with Zhara, if he knew? Or worse, would he try to take her away from me?

I run my palm over Zhara’s soft, short hair protectively. I thought I had this all figured out and settled.

But now, I’m not so sure.