Chapter Six

Willa

F or the first time on my tour, I wish I spoke before a show. Since this set is three and a half hours long, I have to save my voice as much as I can. I've been texting with Blake all day, and he's asked to see me.

W: I'm sorry—I limit my talking on show days. I have to sing for three and a half hours, and I can't waste my voice. I don't even do meet-and-greets, or radio spots, which everyone told me would be the kiss of death.

B: While I understand the thought process behind it, it still sucks.

I push my eyes skyward, heaving a sigh.

W: It does. Most of the tour I've been glad about not having to talk to people or do radio, but I wish today I could chat.

B: Why is that?

W: So I could talk to you, but I have rules, and I've always been one to follow them. Actually they're doctor's orders—otherwise I won't be able to continue with the tour. LOL!

W: I saw your game yesterday.

B: I figured when I saw the picture you sent me after it.

W: What time did y'all get back to Nashville last night?

B: Dunno. Russ and I stayed back here. We're gonna go to your show tonight.

W: OMG? Are you? Where are you sitting?

B: I don't know yet, but we're gonna figure it out. Tampa might be able to give us one of their suites.

W: Or you could sit in my friends and family area.

B: Aren't you worried about speculation?

Typically I would be, but this feeling in the pit of my stomach? It's one I don't ever want to get rid of.

W: I lived my life in private for the past seven years, Blake. I'm ready to really live. Private has its advantages, but I don't want people speculating—I want them to know. I want them to not be wondering. I'd rather them be celebrating.

B: Why does it sound kind of like this is a PR move?

My stomach aches as he asks the question. That wasn't what I was going for when I asked to meet him, or what I thought when we even started this conversation, but the more I think about it, the more I realize he can help me—and I can probably help him, too.

W: I wouldn't say it's a PR move, but I can't deny that I want to improve how people react to me. I want them to know I'm not scared to show my face in public. That what happened to me before didn't break me. You're the type of guy who doesn't get too involved with things. You wear your heart on your sleeve, but I don't necessarily think you're going to fall in love with me.

God, that sounds vapid and so bitchy, but the more I've thought about it, the more I think it will work. I think with this tour, and then with a new boyfriend, others will forget about my imploded past relationship.

Then I won't have to think about the baby I lost.

B: Who's to say you won't fall in love with me?

I laugh loudly. My fingers race to the keyboard on my phone, typing faster than they normally do.

W: I don't believe in love as much as I used to, Blake. I just don't think I have it in me anymore. I gave everything I had...

I can't even type my ex's name, and if I can't type his name then am I really getting over him?

B: I can give you everything I have as I feel it. I'm not intimidated by how popular you are, by how big of an artist you are, and by how people love you. I want to celebrate it with you, be a part of it—if you'll let me.

The ex never said these things. Never wanted to be a part of anything that could either put him in the spotlight or shine it any brighter on me. After the miscarriage, that all went to shit. Add on the fact I had the miscarriage during the pandemic, and it was a perfect storm. We were holding on by the tips of our fingers for longer than we should have, and I thought that he was my chance. I should've let go before I even got pregnant, but I definitely should've severed ties after we lost her.

W: We'll see, but I want to have fun, Blake. Can we do that?

B: We can do whatever you want. I'm down for whatever you're down for. If one of us catches feelings, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it?

W: LMAO! Catches feelings like you catch a football?

B: That I'm never dropping, just like I'll never drop your heart.

I roll my eyes, even though he can't see it.

W: I gotta go get ready. I'll have my PA send details for the suite. I'll see you tonight?

B: Only if you want to. It'd need to be after the show, right?

W: Yeah. As long as you don't care if I'm sweaty, I'd love to see you.

B: I'll be there. I can't wait to see the show again.

And I can't wait to see him, but I won't allow myself to admit that. Not after what I went through before. My heart's gotten me into trouble more times than I care to count, but there's one thing I know about myself; I'll never stop looking for love. I just have to heal first.