Chapter Thirty

Willa

" I 'm so glad I'm not actively on social media anymore." I sigh as I scroll through my cell phone.

"Well, I mean, is that really true?" Avery raises an eyebrow as she watches me.

"It is, just most everyone else doesn't know my private socials. It's fun being able to share with friends and not have to worry about getting scooped by the tabloids."

"I remember when your social media that the public could see was all the social media you had, and how much it annoyed you that you had to stop having such a personal connection with people. I'm glad you were able to get your private accounts. Even more happy for you that you were able to post this picture." She shows me her phone.

It's one that was taken last night of Blake and I by one of his teammates. My arms are wrapped around his waist, and there's a big smile on both of our faces. The fact that he's dwarfing me is probably the best thing about the shot. I've always kind of wanted someone who would be able to outsize me in every way, from their personality to their physicality. "I'm not going to make a habit of it," I warn her. "I'm enjoying what the two of us have, and I'm in that part of our relationship where I want to share it but not too much. It's as if I share too much, if I count on it more than I should, it'll be ripped away from me. Is that crazy?"

"No." Avery shakes her head. "You've been through a lot. Many people have fucked you over and not cared as they watched you suffer. I don't blame you at all, and I don't know anyone who would begrudge you that feeling. If they do, they're super shitty people."

This is everything I love about Avery. She's able to say what I want to and not feel bad the way I do. "So I'm keeping a ton of stuff on my phone, and if we make it past the first year, maybe I'll post it on all my socials then. Who knows?" I shrug.

"You should do with it exactly what you want to."

Letting those words sink in, I nod. Being with Blake is giving me the confidence to be who I am and also who I want to be. "Thanks, Avery."

"You're welcome. You know I will always be your biggest fan. This relationship is good for you. Having this normalcy in the middle of the shit show of your life is what you need, and if you have to protect it with everything you are? Fucking do it."

I grin over at her, deciding I want to share a little bit of what's happening with us. "We're going on a date tonight. Down on Broadway. We're meeting friends."

"I don't think your security has ever been out this much. They, along with you, are living your best lives."

I giggle, glancing over at her. "So true. I've spent the last few years not going anywhere. I feel as if I've saved up all my privacy, if that makes sense. I want to be out, about, and living my damn life. I was private for how long I needed to be private, if that makes sense, but it doesn't serve me anymore."

Avery puts her hand on mine. "We have to do what serves us, even if it means making the hard decisions."

"Why are you like my Yoda? You know everything I'm trying to say when I'm having issues saying it."

She shakes her head with what seems like exasperation. "It's who I am; it's what I do."

"Well, I appreciate you. I need to get dressed and do my hair. I don't even know what to do with myself—going out two nights in a row? Who am I?" I laugh.

"You're the person you've always been, but she was hiding behind the person you thought everyone wanted you to be."

That hits harder than it should. I have been making myself small since I was a teenager, starting out in this business, and I've continued doing it to make others comfortable. "You're right, and I'm not doing that anymore. I'm living life out loud, and Blake is the biggest part of it."

"I like him already. I can't wait to officially meet him and hang out. It sounds like he's going to be good for you, and I'm all for anything that's going to be good for you. Anyway, I gotta get to work, but I expect to see pics from the papps or videos on TikTok."

"Oh, I'm sure you will."

When she leaves, I inhale deeply and go to my closet, wondering what I might want to wear tonight. It's been a long time since I wore jeans. The last time I did, someone made a comment that I looked pregnant, and it brought back a lot of memories from losing the baby. I haven't worn them since, but I want to be comfortable with Blake and everyone tonight. I don't want to worry about someone getting a picture up my skirt, or having to make sure my legs are crossed. I want to live in the moment and enjoy it—which is exactly what I'm going to do.

"You look absolutely amazing." Blake turns me around in a circle in front of him, a wide smile spread across his face. "Do you realize how fuckin' hot you are?"

"No," I scoff, truthfully. "You always make me feel so good. You being my one-man hype crew and all."

He leans in, kissing me soundly on the lips. "Let's get out of here and show you off. In these jeans, you can definitely see the curve of your ass and those toned legs you work so hard on."

I dip my chin into my chest. My cheeks heat as what he says sinks in. "God, I love being with you." I grin, shaking my head and tilting it up so I can prompt another kiss.

"Me too," he whispers, right before our lips meet.