Chapter Sixteen

"You need anything?" Nicole closed the door to the truck. "I've heard you go through a lot of beer lately."

"We're fine. And I certainly won't ask you to do our grocery shopping. The truth is neither one of us has much appetite right now." Grim hit the button to lock the truck as the new guy got out and shut his door.

The morning after the debacle at Subversion, they'd had breakfast with Kimberly Kent and it had been decided Harlow Dawson would be one of the bodyguards who watched after Nicole when she left the ranch. Harlow was known around town, and everyone would think she was simply there for a visit. She could work remotely and had told Grim she kind of needed a break from Dallas for a couple of weeks.

The other guard was a young man named Landon Vail. He was a handsome twenty-something who'd recently left the Navy and taken a job at the security firm his parents used. He knew how to ride and was quickly being brought up to speed on ranch work.

Two weeks later and he and Josh were still sleeping alone.

Harlow moved in beside Nicole—who appeared to be her new bestie. She gave Grim a grin. "Yes, you looked like you were wasting away at dinner last night. You barely ate a whole side of beef."

That got a chuckle from Nicole. He noticed her hand coming up to play with the small diamond on her new necklace. "I'm constantly shocked by how much they can eat."

He wished he'd been the one to give it to her, but Jack had. It had been part of his very generous apology. Nicole hadn't taken it off in weeks.

"Well, I have to eat with the other ranch hands." Landon was nearly as tall as Grim and looked right at home in jeans, a T-shirt, boots, and a Stetson. "You know what they like to cook? Chili. I've had chili three nights this week. And the old guy won't let me cook. My father is a chef. I literally learned how to cook in gourmet kitchens, but no, some eighty-year-old dude named Cookie won't even let me help."

He felt for Landon in this case. Cookie was stubborn and he could only make a handful of meals, but he'd been around forever. "I'll let Jack know you'd like to help."

"Well, you might not ask me to do your grocery shopping, but your mother has no such problem." Nicole pulled out the list his mom had given her. "I think she's trying to fatten me up. I've been told she usually makes everyone eat super healthy, but she's got the makings of a lasagna and enchiladas."

"We'll work out harder," Harlow promised. "You boys stay out of trouble. We'll meet you here in half an hour or so."

Harlow started for the store, but Nicole looked back. "Text me if you think of something you need."

She turned and followed Harlow in.

"That woman scares me," Landon said with a shake of his head. "She's hot. Super hot, but scary. Are you sure you want her teaching Nicole? I saw them practicing how to take out a man's balls yesterday."

In addition to acting as a bodyguard, Harlow was teaching Nicole self-defense, and she'd seemed to have taken to the subject. They sparred on the big lawn under the oak tree that had been there for years.

"I want her safe. Teaching her self-defense seems like the smartest thing we can do. Although I'm not sure I know any of those moves," Grim admitted. "I was taught to shoot, but the punching part came naturally."

Landon's lips spread in a smile sure to have every woman in the area panting after him. "Yeah, I think that's a masculine trait, but if you want to learn how to punch more effectively, I'll give you a lesson. In addition to being an excellent chef, my father was a Navy SEAL. I didn't go into Special Forces, but he made sure I learned how to fight. Of course he taught my sister, too. I understand the need, but do those two have to talk about a man's balls so much? It seems rude. There are other places to hit."

But none as effective.

Nicole didn't seem to notice Landon most of the time. Her obliviousness of the handsome bodyguard gave him some hope.

"I'm going to leave her self-defense tutoring to Harlow," he said. "Come on. I've got a date with some puppies, and then we need to grab the feed Jack ordered."

"That's the only date you're going to have if you don't stop brooding and start showing off your masculine wiles, Grim. The way I see it we know each other well enough…" Landon began.

Grim shook his head and kept walking toward the Willow Fork Animal Shelter. It was a small but well-kept building. It housed the various strays they found around the county. "We don't."

"…for me to give you some advice." Landon didn't miss a beat. "The way I heard it you and Josh were pretty hot and heavy with Nicole before the whole incident thing happened. Now she's pissed but she's also stuck, and you two are not handling this well."

"I don't need advice."

"It seems like you do. I don't think longing looks are going to work on her," Landon continued.

"I'm giving her space."

"What you should do is give the girl a show." Landon stopped and held up a hand. "Now hear me out."

He didn't want to, but he had to admit he was curious.

Landon took his silence as assent. "I work with this guy. He's in investigations but everyone knows him. Nicest man in the world, and his wife makes the best cupcakes. I mean she could give my dad's pastry chef a run for his money."

"Get to the point, Lan."

"Anyway, there's this woman who works reception part time, and I am interested in dating her. She's standoffish. Anyway, my friend told me I needed to show off," Landon explained. "Leave a couple of buttons undone. Maybe show up and need her to help me with something right after a workout. You're a vet, man. You know how this works. The male has to perform to gain a woman's interest."

"Did it work?"

Landon shrugged. "Nah, but it could work for you."

Grim rolled his eyes and started walking again.

"Nicole watches you when she thinks no one is looking." Landon rushed to keep up.

"We're giving her some room to breathe. She's been through a lot. We rushed things." Space. He was giving her space and time.

The trouble was space and time were starting to feel like separation.

In the two weeks since they'd come home, Nicole had moved into one of the guest rooms in the big house, and he saw her mostly at mealtimes. The last few weeks had been one long slog of work and worry and hope that he would see her while she was either working in the gardens with Abby or learning to ride with Jack and Sam.

She was starting a job with Barnes-Fleetwood on Monday. At least she would likely drive into work with Josh. Or maybe she would take the brand-spanking-new Volvo. It had been delivered the week before, and Nicole continued to ignore them both.

As long as she took Harlow, they'd decided she was okay, and Nicole was taking advantage of the freedom. She and Harlow and Olivia had let Abby and Sam take them all to Dallas for a weekend of shopping, and she'd come back with clothes and makeup she'd vowed to pay Abby back for.

He'd overheard her talking to Harlow about what she would do if her name was cleared.

Find a place of her own and a new job. Start over.

"She doesn't look at you like she's trying to figure you out, man. She looks at you like a kid in a candy store whose mom won't let her eat any sugar." Landon opened the door, and they were assaulted by the yelping barks of every dog in the place greeting them.

He looked out over the organized space. A few years back the only shelter had been a couple of cages in the same building that housed the city's water and sanitation departments. When he'd come back, he'd led a drive for a dedicated shelter and adoption center. Well, he'd tried, and when no one showed any interest in helping him, his parents had written a massive check, and now the Willow Fork Animal Shelter was part of the community and ran on two employees and a whole lot of volunteers. It turned out cute dogs and cats won out over prejudice most of the time.

Parents. It was natural to think of Jack and Abby and Sam as his parents now. They'd acted as his parents for a long time, but he'd always made the distinction in his head. He'd always told himself he was a charity case.

Something about learning he was in the will had changed the relationship for him.

He wasn't concerned with the money, but he damn straight wanted the place in the family.

His mom and dads. His. He had a relationship with them that went beyond Josh. He had a place even if something ever happened between he and Josh.

He had a home.

"Hey, Grim." Dakota Smart was all of twenty-two and had boundless enthusiasm when it came to furry friends. She was one of the shelter's most active volunteers and often helped him when he was working on sick animals. She would make an excellent vet, but he couldn't convince her to go to college. "We've got a litter of puppies some jerk dropped off. They're barely weaned. I think he was breeding and those dogs, well, they're definitely mutts. He didn't watch her closely enough and now he's washed his hands of the whole thing. The living things that were his responsibility. It kind of reminds me of home."

Dakota didn't have the greatest homelife. Her parents had gotten divorced when she was eight and her mom dated a lot, and not always the best men. Her father was kind but did not live up to his last name and often forgot things like birthdays. He drifted in and out of his daughters' lives. She had one sister, Cheyenne, who was frequently in trouble.

"Hi." Landon gave the pretty girl a once-over.

Dakota's eyes went wide as she took in the ex-sailor. "Hi."

Good lord. He did not have time for this. He gripped his bag and started down the row of cages. "Are they at the end?"

The end had two big cages for momma dogs and their babies. Too often they found neglected pregnant dogs who needed care.

"Yes, and I've already cleaned them all up. They're in pretty good shape, but I think they miss their mom. At least he didn't dump them. Unlike the little guy in four. I'm worried he's got a broken leg, but he won't let me touch him." Dakota stopped at a cage that held a small dog who huddled in the corner, like he could hide from the world.

Grim crouched down and reached into his bag. He always had some treats on him. "Hey, boy, you're okay now. Everything is fine."

"He's not eating," Dakota said, worry on her youthful face. Her blonde hair was back in a ponytail, and she wore a T-shirt emblazoned with the shelter's logo.

"He's scared. He's in survival mode." Grim stood and opened the cage. The dog growled but didn't look his way. Grim sat at the edge of the cage. "It's okay, buddy. No one's going to hurt you here."

He gently tossed one of the soft treats he carried so it landed close to the pup. So close he didn't need to move. The food bowl had been placed at the edge of the cage.

The dog was far more afraid than hungry, unwilling to risk his life for the temporary comfort of food.

So Grim would have to show him it was okay, that he'd landed in a safe place.

It was kind of a theme in his life now.

But then once, he'd been the stray, and the home he'd found had been worth everything.

Grim took a long breath. "I might need for you to drive the ladies home, Landon. This could take a while. I need to spend some time with this guy and see if we can get him eating. And we have some new guests. How many puppies?"

"Eight," Dakota replied. "And the momma is a pure bred golden, while I'm pretty sure daddy was what we like to call around here a junkyard dog. Those puppies are so ugly they're cute, if you know what I mean."

What she meant was they needed to get those babies adopted and fast. They would be cute as puppies and look scary as big dogs no matter how sweet they were. "Well, they'll all need their shots. Could you get them ready for me?"

"I'd like to help."

He looked up and Nicole was standing there, bags of groceries in her hands. Harlow had two big bags as well.

"Abby forgot to tell us she'd called the order in," Harlow admitted.

"Or maybe I wasn't listening. Apparently this was a list to check off." Nicole set the bags on the big reception desk. "She's worried the young man who fills the orders isn't very accurate. He was today. What are you doing?"

"Trying to get him comfortable enough to eat." He kept his voice low and gentle. The dog was sniffing around the treat, his head going up and down as he tried to find a way to get it without exposing himself. "I'm going to sit here for a while. It could be an hour or two, and then I have some puppies to vaccinate. I thought it was a quick trip, but sometimes I get pulled in. It happens a lot. I should have known and let you drive us."

Nicole gingerly opened the cage and walked in. The dog growled her way but more quietly this time.

He liked women more than men. It wasn't unusual. Dogs—especially ones who'd been abused—could have gender preferences. This dog was probably kicked by a man and so he feared them.

A little like Nicole.

"It's okay. I think I would rather stay here. I love dogs. And cats. Pretty much any animal," she said as she eased down, sitting across from him. "Maybe Harlow or Landon could run the groceries back and Josh could pick us up when he's done with work."

Landon frowned but Harlow leaned over and whispered something to him that had him looking up at the security cameras.

They should be safe here.

It had been so long since she'd been willing to be alone with him.

Landon moved to pick up the bags Nicole had left on the counter. "Call if you need anything."

Harlow held out her hand for the key to the truck. "I'll text Josh to let him know to pick you up. Are you closing soon?"

It was their short day. It was exactly why he'd decided to stop by. He fished out his keys. "In about twenty minutes, but like I said, I'll be here for a while. Josh won't mind waiting around."

He never did. He would come in and help with the chores.

They could have some quiet time with Nicole. Not to tempt her into sex. To show her she was safe with them.

"Hey, boss. I was actually needing to get home. My mom has a date, and I don't want to leave my sister by herself. She tends to get into trouble," Dakota said with a frown. "I know it's bad timing."

He shook his head. "You go and take care of business. Josh knows how to help me."

"Thank you." Dakota grabbed her bag. "I'll lock up. Josh has keys."

"And I'll show you to your car," Landon offered.

Dakota blushed. "Oh, thanks. That would be nice."

Harlow's eyes rolled, but she followed them out.

And he was left alone with Nicole.

"Do we just sit here?" she asked after a moment.

He looked over, and the dog had managed to down the treat when he'd figured no one was looking. It was a good sign.

Like Nicole willing to be locked in with him.

"The key is to get him used to people who aren't going to hurt him," Grim explained. "Dogs are a lot like people. You kick them too much and they get real scared. You have to build trust before they'll let you get close."

Her lips curled up. "Are you talking about the dog or me?"

"Maybe both."

She was quiet for a moment. "It's hard. I hate hurting you and Josh, but it's hard for me to trust. Not you. I'm kind of getting over the whole Josh sicced a PI on me thing. Harlow's been asking me all kinds of questions during our self-defense lessons, and they made me think. Josh was being Josh. The way Jack was being Jack. They're overprotective men. Good men but overprotective. He didn't mean to hurt me."

"He didn't."

"So what I'm really afraid of is everything falling apart."

He pulled another treat out of his bag, handing it to Nicole. "Toss it about a foot away from him. Just enough so he'll have to move out of the corner to get it."

She did as he asked, and the dog's head turned slightly but it didn't move. "You're trying to show him it's safe to get closer to us."

"Yep."

"Was the car a dog treat, Grim?"

He snorted at the idea. "The car was repayment because my dad is a freak who likes to cube vehicles he finds offensive. He owed you the car, Nic. You don't have to feel bad about it. He knew he would be buying you one when he destroyed yours. He did it so Josh didn't have to. Your car was dangerous."

"My car was worth maybe three hundred bucks. I can't even comprehend how much the Volvo cost. I still have sticker shock and I've been driving it for two weeks," she said with a frown. "He didn't have to get me some luxury vehicle. I was mostly kidding when I picked it. I wanted to shock him."

Grim shrugged. "Jack knows what it means to fight to survive. The same way you and I do. I want you to think about this. If you had more money than you could ever spend, would you spoil the people you love?"

"Of course I would," Nicole agreed. "I guess it's been so long since anyone loved me that I don't recognize it. I spent a couple of days thinking he bought it as a bribe."

"A bribe?"

"So I would be nicer to you and Josh. He found out I wasn't the evil person he thought I was so he felt bad. And then I realized he does care about me. He's been teaching me how to ride. Do you know I don't ever remember a parental figure sitting down and taking the time to teach me anything? For my father I was a reminder of something he would rather forget. To my stepmother I was a bother. Being around Jack and Sam and Abby is the first time I feel like I have parents." There were tears in her eyes.

He wanted so badly to reach out and drag her into his arms.

But he was being patient. "Do you ever wonder which would be worse? Having parents who loved you and losing them or never having them at all? I do. I don't think about my mom as much as I did in the beginning. It's kind of like she died, too. I try to remember who she was before she met Ezekiel. I remember how she would drop me and my brother off at the school they had out at the resort. She teased me and Josh about how close we were. She was friendly with Abby. They sometimes took me and Josh and Olivia to the pool for lunch and we would have chicken nuggets and French fries. And then it was all gone."

She was quiet for a moment. "I think those memories are sweet, and I wish I had some. That's what your parents are giving me." A tear slipped onto her cheek. "Abby lets me help her in the garden, and Sam taught me how to play pool. And Jack's spent hours teaching me how to take care of the horses and how to ride. I'd never ridden before. I didn't know how free I would feel."

Grim couldn't remember a time he didn't ride. "I love being out alone in the early morning. I sometimes take a chore way out on the property just so I can ride. I know I could take one of the trucks or the ATVs, but I prefer to ride. I'm glad you're enjoying the lessons. How is it going with Harlow? You seem to be getting along. Are you still worried she's in love with Josh?"

She shook her head, a smile on her lips. "No. She totally sees him as a brother. I like her. She was nervous about me and I understand. She told me about how some of her friends have used her to try to get to Josh because of his money." She got solemn again. "I worry he'll wonder about that someday. I worry somewhere down the line he'll figure out I don't fit in."

"He won't because you do. Our family isn't like the Holloways. Mom and Dad and Pops worked for everything they have. They knew how to raise their kids to work hard, too, to not take their upbringing for granted. Harlow's been asking you questions. I have a few of my own. Would your husband have encouraged his father to split his inheritance in half to give it to some stray they took in?"

"Never." She obviously didn't need to think about it. "The whole family is craven about money. From what I was told money was the reason Ted killed his brother. I know you're not the same. I know it in my soul. I'm just… I need to figure out if I can be enough for you. That's about me, not you and Josh. It's my insecurity. When it's safe, Harlow wants me to come to Dallas and see this therapist friend of hers. He works with a group there, and he specializes in surviving domestic abuse."

Harlow was doing a good job with her. "I think seeing a therapist would be great. You should know Josh thinks we should talk to someone, too."

"About?" Nic seemed surprised.

"About how to support someone we care about who survived domestic abuse. We don't always talk the same language. He wants to make sure he learns yours."

Now the tears rolled from her eyes, and she didn't try to stop them. "You already know it."

"I do, but it's not the same, baby. Even though we have some similarities, it's still hard. I don't want to talk about it. Not even Josh knows everything I went through, but I've started to wonder if it's festering inside me," Grim admitted. "I thought I could bury it and it would go away, but it doesn't. It sits under the surface waiting. I realized until the moment Jack told me he'd changed his will I was waiting for him to realize I wasn't his kid. Waiting for Abby to find a reason to turn me out. Waiting for Sam to see what he saw in me."

"What who saw?" Nic asked.

This was an old ache. "My stepfather."

Her gaze softened on him. "What did he see, Grim?"

He had to tell her the truth. "Evil."

She sat there for a moment and then she moved, crawling across the floor to straddle him. She took his face in her hands, staring down at him. "There is no evil in you, Jared Burch. You are one of the best men I've ever met. I love you. I love you and Josh. Be patient with me. Please."

His heart clenched but in the best of ways. "There is no amount of time you could take that I wouldn't be waiting at the end of it."

She leaned over and kissed him. He didn't give in to the urge to take control. He let her brush her lips over his, and then she shifted her body so she was sitting next to him.

She glanced over at the dog and she gasped. "The treat's gone."

Grim reached for another. "A little closer this time."

"Hey, buddy." Her voice was gentle as she tossed the treat a full foot closer than last time. "This is for you. You're okay here."

For the first time in weeks he had some hope.

* * * *

Josh stepped into the shelter, locking the door behind him.

"It's okay, sweetie. One shot and you'll be fine," a soft, familiar voice was saying.

Nicole. He'd kind of worried Harlow had been playing a joke on him when she'd told him Nicole would be waiting on him at the shelter because she was helping out Grim with a litter of puppies and one shaky mutt.

She'd barely talked to either of them for weeks, but she didn't have the same problem with his family. She'd been getting up early to go riding with his dad and Pops. She spent her afternoons in the garden with his mom, and more than once she'd gone out to The Barn with Olivia, hauling Harlow along. On those nights Landon always followed at a distance and sent Josh texts letting him know she was okay.

The urge to follow her was almost overwhelming.

"I might give that one more than a shot. He's peed on me twice. I think he's aiming." Grim sounded irritated but only for a moment. "Baby, hold him still."

"He's a wiggler," Nicole said.

So Grim had found a way to connect with her again. Night was just around the corner, and the shelter was closed for the evening. They would make sure all the critters got their dinner, and then maybe he could convince Nicole to go out with them.

"He's so cute. Why would you have any trouble finding someone to take him?" She sounded like she was in a good mood.

There was a purring sound from his left, and Josh looked over. Bandit was an ancient tabby cat who'd wandered in one day and never left. He'd been adopted out a couple of times and the owners were all good people, but Bandit would get out of their houses and find his way back here. At some point Grim had given up and accepted Bandit was the shelter's only permanent resident.

"He's cute right now," Grim was saying, "but in a couple of months he'll weigh forty pounds, and by the end of a year he's going to be huge. The good news? I think I know who the father is. Dakota's wrong. This dog's got some Australian shepherd in him. They make excellent ranching dogs when they're trained right."

Josh knew what was coming next. He leaned down and let Bandit jump into his arms. The cat seemed to like him and enjoyed being petted for a time. He started for the back of the shelter where Grim's office was set up. "He's going to parade them by my momma, and the dads will have some new friends to help out. It's good timing. Jasper and Gordo are about ready to retire and live the lazy life."

"Hey." Grim looked up and gave him a smile Josh hadn't seen on his best friend's face for days. "Thanks for stopping by. Nic's been helping me with the newbies. They're about six weeks along, so I'm vaccinating them. Being in the shelter can be rough on a pup, but these will be ready to be adopted out in the next couple of weeks."

Nicole held a wriggling ball of fluff. "They took these babies away from their momma."

"Hey, we're honestly lucky the guy waited for them to be old enough to adopt. Sometimes they dump the puppies immediately so the mom can be bred again," Grim said, packing up his kit.

"Do you want me to find him?" Josh would beat the crap out of the dude if she wanted him to.

She frowned his way as she put the puppy in the crate with his brothers and sisters. "The fact that you are standing there petting a cat while you casually offer to beat someone up is a whole vibe with you, Josh."

He wasn't sure his vibe was a good thing in Nicole's head. "You think I should put the cat down?"

Her lips kicked up. "I think you should be less violent."

"He's mostly talk," Grim offered. "Mostly. Let's see if the little guy's down yet."

Bandit was purring against his chest. "You put a dog down in front of her?"

Nicole gasped. "He wouldn't do that unless he had to. No, he's talking about Buddy. We've spent the better part of an hour getting him used to eating treats, but he still wouldn't let Grim examine his leg so he managed to get him to take a sleepy treat."

"Nic did that." Grim started for the row of cages. "He took to her. I hope he's house trained because they're in love."

Nicole put a hand to her heart, and her whole body softened. "He's so sweet. And scared. Someone treated him awful, and he's a baby who needs a good home."

Yep. She'd spent too much time with his momma. "Well, it's not like we can have too many dogs."

"You would let me keep a dog?" Nicole asked.

"Why would I ever stop you from… Your husband wouldn't let you have a dog," Josh surmised.

"Micah was not a pet person." She stopped in front of him, her chin tilting up as she looked him over with a sassy expression on her face. "You obviously are. I think we can take care of Buddy better at home so he doesn't get… What did you call it, babe?"

What the hell miracles had Grim been working?

"Kennel cough," Grim called back, and then he was walking toward them with a scrap of a canine in his arms. "The sedative worked fast. The good news is his leg's solid. He's got a scrape on his paw. It's why he was limping. I'm going to clean him up and we can take him home."

"Do you need help?" Nicole asked.

Grim didn't look back. "No, I'm good. I'll be ready to go in less than half an hour. Why don't you and Josh go into the storage room? We've got a couple of crates and some food and water bowls. Get this guy a nice dog bed, too."

Nicole stepped back. "All right. I can do that."

Did she only want to be alone with Grim? God, he had to stop going there. Grim and Nic had a connection he couldn't truly understand. He loved them both. If she wanted Grim and not him, then he would step back and let them be together.

Bandit let out a meow signaling the end of their session. The cat jumped out of his arms and lazily started to follow Grim, taunting the dogs in their cages with his feline freedom.

Nicole seemed to have learned the layout of the shelter quickly since she rounded the hallway leading back to the big storage room they kept stocked with everything a pet could need.

He followed her. "Are you okay? Do you want me to stay out here?"

She frowned as she turned his way. "Why? I mean I could probably use another set of hands. I know Buddy is small, but like all small things he needs a lot."

She disappeared behind the doors, and he could see the light coming on.

He walked into the storage room. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

She stopped in the middle of the room and turned to him, frowning as though she was trying to decide how to handle him. "You make me uncomfortable all the time, Josh."

Well, that was a kick in the gut. "I don't mean to."

"I've had a lot of time to think, and my problem is really with you. I think if it was just Grim I was dealing with I wouldn't be so scared."

His heart felt like it was twisting in his body. He took a step back. "You don't have to be scared of me. Baby…I mean, Nicole, I want you to have what you need. I don't want to be one more man who makes your life misery. If you want Grim, you should have him. I know I said we were a packaged deal, but the truth is we're not. He loves you."

She went still, staring at him. "I thought you loved me."

"I do. And I love Grim. So when I work the math in my head, I know I should step back. I want something more than my own happiness. I want yours. I want his." He was fairly certain he would never be happy without her, but it didn't matter.

Her arms crossed over her chest. "So you would let me and Grim find an apartment in town and go about our lives?"

"No. I would move into the big house and let you have the one we're in now," he replied. "Why would you… Nicole, I would never ask my brother to leave. I wouldn't ask you to leave. If you don't want either one of us, you should stay in my parents' house as long as you need to."

"Even if that's forever?"

She needed a family, and he needed to know she was happy. "Forever. We'll find a way through it. We'll find a way to be friends. I promise. This is going to be okay, Nicole. It's your decision, and you can't make a wrong move except for walking away."

"Because I found the high life and I would be stupid to leave it?" There was a challenge to her question.

He wasn't sure what she was talking about. "Because you have a home and people who love you. Because you could have a future here. It doesn't have to be with me, though I deeply hope you'll still let me be your friend."

"You mean that." She seemed to relax. "You would let me be part of your family. You would let me marry Grim and you would stand there and be my friend."

"I would still love you, Nic. I'll always love you, but I'll be satisfied if you're happy. If you're whole."

"But you wouldn't be." The words came out soft, almost sympathetic.

Was he about to lose her? "No. There will always be a part of me missing, but I'll live with it."

"I kissed Grim tonight."

His whole body felt heavy. He knew he'd said what he'd said, and he meant it, but it was going to hurt more than anything he'd ever felt. His mind was already working on the problem. He might need to go on the road more. Maybe it would be easier to not watch them settle into the house he'd hoped to share with them. Maybe a couple of months away would ease the longing to something manageable.

"So I should kiss you, too," she offered logically. "To be fair. I know it doesn't have to be one for one, but there haven't been a lot of kisses lately, and I don't want you to feel left out."

Then she was right in front of him, going up on her toes and pressing those sweet lips to his, and it was like the fucking world came back online. Like he'd spent the last few weeks in something colorless and drab and she touched him and the world was real again. Whole again.

His hands went down to grip her hips and drag her in closer, but he stopped.

He didn't want to scare her, didn't want to take something she wasn't willing to give.

Nic sank down to her feet and frowned up at him. "You're going to be like Grim, aren't you?"

"Well, if it means you kiss me and let me stay in our bed, then yes, I suspect I'll be a lot more like Grim," he admitted.

Her expression softened. "I meant you're going to treat me like I'm fragile. Like I'll run away if you make a single mistake. That isn't what I was trying to do, Josh. I'm not afraid you'll hurt me physically. I'm starting to learn you won't hurt me for anything. I'm starting to understand you are not my deceased husband, and your family is so far from the Holloways it's ridiculous."

"I can be rough," he admitted.

"And I like it when you're rough because even when you're the big bad Dom in my life, you're thinking about me. Not yourself. You're thinking about my pleasure and my comfort and what I need. I've never been afraid you would hit me. Never."

"Never," Josh promised. "Never in any way not meant to bring you pleasure. Nicole, I love you. I want to take care of you. I want to have the kind of family I had growing up."

"I know. It's what I was afraid of," Nicole admitted. "I didn't understand your family and I thought I wouldn't fit in, but I do. I thought this would all turn sour, and I know I haven't been here long, but it's not going to go bad, is it?"

Hope lit his whole soul. "No, baby. No one is going to turn on you. You have a family now. You have me and Grim and Olivia and my parents. You have our friends. Harlow adores you. The rest of our friends will, too."

"And even if I made a misstep, you wouldn't kick me out."

"No. There is nothing you can do that would make me leave you."

She frowned his way. "I can think of a few things."

She didn't understand him. "There is nothing you—Nicole Mason or Nora—could do. There is nothing your sweet soul could do that would make me run."

"You're taking a lot on faith, Joshua Barnes-Fleetwood." She stood there looking so vulnerable. "I tell you I didn't kill my husband and you believe me."

"I believe you."

"I could be lying," she said softly.

"You're not." He knew it in his bones. She wasn't lying about anything. She was exactly who she said she was. She was sweet and scared and tired of not being loved the way she should be. So he would give it to her. He and Grim would give her all the love she needed. "Stay with us. Be with us. Not physically if you're not ready, but spend time with us. We've missed you."

"I've missed you, too." She moved into his arms, and he sighed as she wrapped herself around him. "I didn't realize how much until tonight. I've been focusing on helping Kim with my case and learning from Harlow and your parents."

"You needed time. It's okay if you need more," he whispered, holding her so close. "Please spend some time with us. Let us take you out. Show you how we feel."

She sighed. "Then how about you call your mom and tell her we're eating in town. I've got a craving for Christa's chicken and dumplings."

Having dinner with her—just the three of them—would be a good start.

Even if he ended the night dropping her off at the big house and going home alone, it was enough.

It was hope.

"I think it sounds perfect." His voice was thick with emotion. "Now let's get everything that dog of yours is going to need."

Her smile was enough to warm him. Maybe for the rest of his life.