Chapter Eight

Raven

. I thought telling Sutton would somehow make everything feel better later. And while it was great to not have secrets between us, seeing the hurt on his face as he heard what happened to me—from the moment I was taken to the day in the clearing when they tore the chip from me—it was like I was inflicting my torment onto him.

And I hated it.

I hated that his friends didn’t trust him because of me—or maybe they did trust him, but not when I was there.

I hated that he felt like he might have to give up everything important to him for me.

I hated the way my words hurt him, knowing they weren’t going to just bounce away when the conversation moved on. It wasn’t like I was telling him about a poem I’d read, where he might only half listen. No, these words—the ones I shared with him—were going to stay with him for a long time, maybe forever.

And through all of this, he was being so nice to me, as if my well-being was what mattered. He made sure I was fed, clothed, and felt safe. He even slept in his beast form beside the bed to comfort me.

He did so much for me without asking for anything in return.

And what did I do for him? I hurt him. I made his life harder.

Which was why, when I woke up this morning and was in the bathroom getting cleaned up, I seriously contemplated leaving. We didn’t have a bond—not a real one. There was no marking. If I left now, I could save him from all of this. From me.

It wouldn’t take much. I could sneak out the window, shift, and just run until I couldn’t run any more. They’d probably be glad I was gone. Maybe not Sutton, but everyone else. And he’d get over it. He’d find himself another omega, one with less baggage.

It was a plan. A solid plan. One I couldn’t follow through, at least not today. My jackal refused. He didn’t love any of this, but if Sutton wasn’t by my side, he didn’t want it.

I came out and found my mate more stressed than I’d ever seen him.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve woken you up. I knew the rule was for us to be together all the time, but I thought the change in the cabin made that… I don’t know…void if we were here.” The last thing I intended was to exacerbate the situation. Why was I such a shitty mate?

“No, no, you’re fine.” He opened his arms. I hesitated, noticing the tension in his shoulders, but then walked into his embrace. If he was offering, he meant it. Sutton was that kind of guy. At least he had been so far. I didn’t really know him that well. “It’s just…some of the guys are coming over, and they want to talk to you.”

“About when I was staying in the caves?” It was the only thing they didn’t know about.

“Caves?” He tensed right up, and I realized I hadn’t told him that part. Not because I was keeping it from him, but because it didn’t feel like it mattered. “You had to stay in the caves?”

“I didn’t have to. I just wanted to be sure I was making the right decision coming here.”

He tightened his embrace and I sank into it. “You did. You really did.”

And then things started to click in my head.

“What do you mean, people are coming? Like to the cabin?” For some reason, that made it seem more serious.

Before he could answer, there was a knock on the door.

“I need to get this,” he said.

I nodded, and he opened the door to Tyrus and Pop-Tart. Out of everyone in that first meeting, they seemed the most reasonable. Or maybe not reasonable so much as on Sutton’s side. I wasn’t entirely sure of the group dynamic, but I didn’t get the impression Tyrus was in charge—like he wasn’t the alpha. If they had one.

“We brought snacks.” Pop-Tart, wearing a red shirt, held up a basket.

Had I not been so nervous, I’d have giggled at that.

“All the better to see us with.” Sutton had a similar thought to mine, earning a laugh from Tyrus.

“I told you, Pop-Tart.” Tyrus shoulder checked him. “You look like the girl in Little Red Riding Hood .”

“It’s a red shirt, not a cape,” he grumbled.

“Whatever you say.” Another shoulder check.

My mate made a pot of coffee, and we all sat at the table. They had a lot of questions about my life before I met any of them—before things with Ryan. Nothing new, nothing Sutton hadn’t already heard, which was good because I’d hate to make him relive it.

It was interesting watching their faces as they heard about the way I was controlled and forced—not only in what I did but in what I allowed others to do to me. Gone was the distrust and anger. In its place was pity.

I wasn’t sure which was worse.

But then they said they had everything they needed, and it was time to eat.

For the first time, I saw a different side of them. I learned how Pop-Tart got his nickname, how Tyrus came to join the group. And that Sutton had brothers.

There was still so much more to figure out about this place. But, leaving? That no longer felt like the right idea, even if my beast would’ve allowed it.

This was where I belonged.

I just needed to figure out how. After a nap. Gods, I was exhausted.