Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

RYLEE

T oday was a much-needed escape from the daily grind that had gotten a little boring. It had been too long since me and the girls got to hang out. It felt like forever. We had once shared almost every detail of our mundane lives with each other. And then one by one, my friends moved out and moved on. Now, it was their men who heard all the little details.

Lauren, Jenny, Mary Ellen, Karen, and I had been planning this catch-up for weeks, and now that we were all here, we were all excited. Ward, Jameson, and Archer were off at the driving range, leaving the house to us women.

"Pass me some of that iced tea, Jenny," I said, reaching across the counter. Jenny had whipped up a batch of her famous iced tea, the perfect refreshment for our afternoon. For those who wanted something stronger, I had prepared cocktails, mixing up a few of my favorite recipes. Lauren, Karen, and Mary Ellen were busy in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on our spread of appetizers. We were going to drink tea and stuff our faces. It didn't feel nearly as naughty when we were eating tiny little appetizers.

Finally, we all settled in the living room, surrounded by a delicious array of baked brie, charcuterie, and other mouthwatering goodies. I listened as each of my friends recapped the last couple of weeks of their lives. I couldn't believe how much I felt like I was missing out on. They were all so happy. I envied them a little, but I was also looking forward to telling them what I had planned. When it was my turn, I took a deep breath, ready to drop my bombshell.

"I have some big news," I began, looking around at my friends. "I leave for Rome in two weeks. I'm not sure how long I'll be gone."

The room fell silent. Lauren, who had been sipping her cocktail, nearly choked on her drink. "What do you mean you're not sure how long you'll be gone?"

"I'm proud of all of you and what we've built here," I said, choosing my words carefully. "But lately, I've been feeling a bit lost. I need to do something for myself, to get back on track. This trip is something I've always wanted. If I don't do it now, the timing might never be right again. This is my moment. I'm ready to explore. Maybe Dallas is not supposed to be where I live. Think about it, this is a huge world. You guys have been lucky to have found the men of your dreams, but I've lived here forever and haven't found a single guy I want to spend more than five minutes with. Maybe he's not here. Maybe he's in Italy or Greece or France. I need something new."

My confession hung heavily in the air. For a moment, we were all quiet, each of us sifting through my words and finding our own understanding in them. I expected them to try and talk me out of it. They were going to tell me how dangerous it was for me to travel alone and there was no reason for me to go looking.

Jenny was the first to speak, her voice shaky yet supportive. "That's a brave step you're taking," she said softly. Her eyes were wide with surprise but shone with kindness.

"Yes, it is," I replied, my voice stronger than I had expected it would be.

Karen chimed in. She was the voice I knew would be the most cautious. I could see her analyzing it right now. "Aren't you afraid?" she asked.

"No." I shook my head. "Not really."

"It's not safe," Mary Ellen said.

"I know," I said. "There are risks, sure. But there are always risks, no matter what we do or where we go. I'll be careful. I'll keep in touch. And besides, isn't risk part of the excitement? I can take care of myself. I walk the streets of Dallas alone at night all the time. I work in a bar and have broken up my fair share of fights. I'm not a wilting flower."

Lauren gave me a quizzical look, but Mary Ellen nodded slowly, seeming to understand. Karen was still silent, her eyes darting around the room as though she were looking for an escape route.

"Rylee," Jenny said softly. "What if you don't find what you're looking for? What if you end up alone in a strange city? Have you considered that?"

"I have." I nodded, taking a drink. "I'm not afraid of that either. The journey alone will be worth it. I'm not actually looking for a man. In a weird way, I'm looking for me. I feel like I'm not where I should be. I'm just saying there is a chance I find my guy out there."

"Why not take a trip to New York or LA or Miami?" Lauren asked.

I looked at each of them in turn. "I appreciate your concerns, but this is something I have to do. And who knows? Maybe I won't find love. But maybe I'll find something better. Maybe I'll find the spot where I'm supposed to be."

"What about your job?" Karen asked.

"I have savings—and as for my job, well, the bar will always be there. I can always find another job when I come back. If I come back."

My friends' initial shock quickly turned to support. They were all nodding, knowing I was going to do this no matter what.

Mary Ellen leaned forward. "What's Karen going to do all alone in the house?"

I looked at Karen, surprised she hadn't told them about her potentially moving. "I've never really minded solitude." She shrugged. "But yes, it will be weird not having Rylee around. That said, I might have something new on the horizon too. There's a potential job lined up for me, working on a ranch in Kentucky, helping with the books and accounting. It's a bit of a hot mess, but I'm thinking about it."

Once again, the room was stunned into silence.

"Kentucky?" Jenny echoed, her surprise evident. "But that's so far away."

"Not as far as Italy or Greece," Karen retorted with a cheeky grin. She was clearly enjoying this moment.

Mary Ellen looked from one to the other in astonishment, her tea forgotten in her hand. "You're both leaving! The house will be empty."

"You guys already left," I reminded them.

We dissolved into laughter then, easing some of the tension that had filled the room.

"She makes a good point," Lauren said.

"I just can't imagine the house being empty." Mary Ellen sighed.

"I don't know that I'm going to stay in Kentucky," Karen said.

"And I'm not saying I'm never coming back," I added.

"Everything is changing so much." Jenny sighed. "Do you guys ever miss when it was just the five of us?"

"Every. Single. Day," I said with a smile. "But you guys can't say the same. You've got great guys. I don't blame you for choosing them over the single life."

"Soon one of us is going to have a baby," Lauren whispered, as if the very idea was too monumental to say out loud.

Jenny's eyes revealed her surprise. "Are you trying to tell us something, Lauren?"

"No!" Lauren cried, shaking her head vigorously. "But we're reaching that point in life where sooner or later, one of us is going to be the first to start a family. One married. Two engaged. First comes love, then comes marriage, and I guess we're all waiting on the baby carriage."

Mary Ellen looked around the room thoughtfully. "I wonder who it's going to be?"

Karen snorted. "Not me. I'd rather sleep in horse shit at the ranch."

We all burst out laughing. The idea of Karen settling down and starting a family was as far-fetched as it got.

I scoffed. "Don't sign me up for mommy and me classes."

They all burst into laughter once again. No one thought I was mommy material. Yet, as the laughter died down, I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to be a mother. I had always wanted it for myself, but it had always felt so distant. Perhaps it was farther away now than it had ever been. Unless, of course, I met that sexy Italian man of my dreams. We could have a little girl and name her Valentina. We could buy a country place in southern Italy. I could bake bread and grow my own herbs.

"So, Simon," Jenny said, interrupting my daydream. "Have you seen more of him at the bar?"

I groaned inwardly. "Yes, I have seen plenty of him. Simon Locke seems determined to make my life difficult. His persistence is maddening. Sure, he's nice eye candy, but he's an ass. He won't leave me alone. Nobody who looks as good as he does is as nice on the inside as they are on the outside."

The girls exchanged looks, clearly disagreeing with my assessment.

"There was way more to Archer than met the eye, and I'm so glad I took the chance on him," Mary Ellen said. "He was pretty rough looking on the outside, but inside, he's a beautiful man."

I managed a small smile. "Archer has some tattoos and broke a few rules." I shrugged. "That's not a big deal. Simon has destroyed countless small businesses, environments, and laid off thousands of employees whenever he finds a shortcut to make more money." I shook my head. "He's not misunderstood. He's just an asshole. He's pretty on the outside and ugly on the inside."

Lauren placed a comforting hand on my arm. "Maybe there's more to him than you think. People can change."

"Not Simon," I said firmly. "He's just not the type to change."

"Some people are just set in their ways," Karen said. "And if Rylee's gut is telling her he's no good, we should trust that."

"But you don't actually know him," Mary Ellen said.

"I know enough," I retorted.

The conversation shifted back to our plans and dreams. We talked about Mary Ellen's library and its success. And of course, the conversation shifted to wedding planning. I wasn't jealous of Mary Ellen, but it did feel like we were on a wedding binge. I just hoped there wasn't an ugly bridesmaid dress in my future or wedding practice that involved learning how to walk properly—again. Jenny had nearly driven all of us crazy with her demanding ways. She was a perfectionist.

As the evening wore on, I felt a sense of peace settle over me. My decision to leave for Rome felt more right than ever. I needed this change, this adventure.

In Rome, I thought, I'd have the chance to rediscover myself. Maybe it was silly to pin so much hope on a new environment, but in my heart, I knew it was what I needed. I craved adventure. I wanted the adrenaline rush of landing in a foreign country. I felt this ridiculous pull to push myself way outside my comfort zone.

The excitement of my upcoming journey was momentarily dashed as Lauren began to describe the wedding she was dreaming of. She shared her vision of a fairytale wedding complete with glass slippers and horse-drawn carriages. I nodded along, admiring her dedication and creativity while also feeling an odd sense of detachment. It was a world that didn't feel quite right for me. But I was happy for them.

After they left, it was just Karen and me, sipping iced tea in silence.

"I can't believe you're going to Italy," she said.

"I don't plan on stopping with Italy." I grinned. "I'm going to go as far as my dollar will take me. I'm even thinking about doing the backpacking thing."

Karen's eyebrows shot up. "That's pretty adventurous for you, Rylee. You sure you're up for that?"

"More than ever," I replied, my smile stretching wider. "The world is a much bigger place than we can imagine. I want a piece of that."

There was a moment's silence, and then she chuckled. "Well, it's definitely going to be quiet around here without you."

"I'll miss all of you too."