Chapter Twenty-Six

When Thanatos left, I felt a hollow feeling in my gut. I didn’t know if it was because we didn’t get to cuddle after having sexy time or because I was worried about him.

Maybe both.

I’d really come to care for him a lot, and that scared me. I didn’t know him all that well, but my heart did funny things around him, and I’m just about to give up and give in. He’s extremely hard-headed at the idea he won’t get bored with me, that I’m not too weird and now overthinking things.

What would he think when I tell him about my past? If I should tell him at all? He’d pretty much said he’d murder whoever hurt me, and I don’t think they all deserve that. I was just a little unwanted.

When Thanatos and I left the bedroom, everyone was in the hallway, prepared to leave. I was utterly embarrassed. They had to know what we were doing, but none of them seemed to care. They were preoccupied and said goodbye to their significant others or mates.

Ares introduced me to his mate, Mariah. As the God of War, Ares lived up to his reputation—tall, imposing, and exuding strength. His muscles rippled beneath his skin, adorned with intricate tattoos. His thick head of hair added to his commanding presence. He wore modern-day attire, donning black jeans and a black muscle tee.

Mariah possessed a fierce beauty. She stood tall and muscular, radiating strength. Her lean figure was accentuated by a stunning tan complexion. A side braid added an extra touch of fierceness to her appearance.

Contrary to my expectations, Ares was not hot-headed or mean, but rather the complete opposite. He laughed, as he held Mariah’s hand and cracked jokes with Hades before they left, telling everyone not to worry about a thing. He assured everyone that he would take care of everything and asked them not to worry, promising not to do anything inappropriate.

Then he crossed his fingers behind his back.

Ares didn’t act like the brightest crayon in the box. Who would want to cross Hades?

Thanatos gripped his scythe like he was going to kill Ares too, but they still left us with him. They must have some serious trust in Ares.

Uriel grabbed my hand as soon as they all left. Lucifer gave me a glaring eye. He was the last to leave and gave Uriel a stern talking to. The guy was seriously over the top.

“I’ve got a new word to give you later,” I told Uriel as she pulled me inside.

“But I haven’t told you what mates are yet,” she chirped as she pulled me further into the palace.

“Your boy toy glared at me. I think he deserves another nickname.”

Uriel laughed and shook her head. “What are you talking about? Luci is a big sweetheart.”

I cast a perplexed gaze at her, but maintained my brisk pace as we navigated the hallway, eventually arriving in a spacious sitting room. The room emanates a vibrant aura, flooded with lush greens, royal purples, and earthy browns. The walls proudly display an array of family portraits, capturing intimate moments of Hades and Ember cradling their children.

Hades was actually smiling in one.

Kind of creepy.

There were other portraits, chronicling various stages of their lives, gracing the walls, forming a tapestry of memories of the seemingly normal looking family.

Uriel flopped on the overly large couch and spread her brightly colored yellow dress and tucked her legs up under it. “Now, I promised to tell you about mates. Let’s do that now, and you can tell me the new word,” she said excitedly.

My heart fluttered in both excitement and trepidation at what this mate word is. It’s been thrown around since lunch, and now Thanatos had used it. I knew I’d brushed him off about telling me what it is. I think I wanted to find out what a mate is through someone else though–what if my reaction wasn’t what he wanted?

Is a mate like marriage? Was he wanting to marry me? So quickly?

Ares and Mariah sauntered into the room and sit down across from us. Ares man-spread his legs across the couch and pulled Mariah into his lap. She laughed and leaned her head on his shoulder.

“Just pretend we aren’t here.” Ares nuzzled into her neck. “We promised we would monitor you both, and I’m not getting in trouble this time.”

This time?

“Yeah, last time Hades threw him out the window for upsetting Ember and me,” Uriel said sheepishly. “He was giving me the birds and bees talk and it was just really awkward.”

My mouth dropped open and put my hand over to cover it. “He–gave you the talk? What did Lucifer say?”

Uriel shook her head. ”Ares isn”t allowed to talk about such things around me anymore or Luci will kick his, you know,” she said, leaning forward, ”ass.”

Cheese and crackers.

“Anyway,” Uriel perked up and became serious. “Mates are special. Mates are short for soul mates and you, Juni, are Thanatos’ soul mate. From the beginning of time, the Fates have decided your soul is to be combined with Thanatos, the God of Death. Each soul is incomplete until they find their other half. Each soul cannot truly feel fulfilled until it merges with its other half, experiencing the fullness of love and passion, or finding true happiness as one.

“Selene, the Moon Goddess, along with Ember, the current Soul Sphere holder, connects souls to form the perfect pair with a golden thread. It is why you feel so connected to Thanatos. The warm fuzzies you feel when you touch him, how you want to be near him, understand him, want him.” Uriel makes flirty eyes at Lucifer’s portrait. “Your soul knows you belong to him and he belongs to you.” Once Uriel’s infomercial was over, I wrinkled my eyebrows together.

It was then I heard Mariah and Ares making a humming noise and we both look over at the couch in front of us.

They’re making out.

“Forget them,” Uriel whispered. “They are getting some time away from their baby, so they want to get all their cuddle time in.”

I nodded and tried to concentrate on what on more important matters.

Thanatos thinks I’m his mate.

“And how do we know for sure–” I began, “that I am Thanatos’ mate? I’m just–me. I’m human. There are plenty of other more worthy women out there, I’m sure.”

The Fates couldn’t know I was coming—I was a mistake. Surely, they have not had this planned.

Uriel shook her head violently, her pretty long curls brushing down her cheeks. “Oh no, for sure I know. I even double checked with Ember. Thanatos is your mate. It took Thanatos a while to be really sure, though. He isn’t great with emotions–you know that.”

I nodded.

“Ember knew this from the beginning, she was the one that urged him to go find you and help you. Thanatos usually has his reapers go out and take care of things, but Ember knew she would have to give him a nudge.”

I bit my lip. “Ember put Thanatos up to this?”

Uriel grabbed my hand. A light warmed my skin, and a calm brushed over me.

“Understand that Thanatos hasn’t had feelings in a long time. Ember knew you were his last chance at finding them. If you had died that night, Thanatos would have died too. Maybe not right away, but he would have wasted away. Gods need their mates, too. Gods can die.”

My eyes warmed, and I tried to hold back the tears.

It physically hurt to think that something could happen to Thanatos.

“Gods aren’t all invincible?” I asked.

“No,” Ares baritone voice echoed in the room. “Most certainly not. ”I can be killed too, if something happened to my Mariah.” Ares” gaze softened when he looked at her. “I would wither away and become dust, my soul would be nothing without her.”

Such pressure.

“What is pressure?” Uriel asked.

I twisted my fingers into the green dress that Thanatos had just mended. “You’re saying that if I reject him, he would die, wither away. I feel like I am not given a choice. I have to be with him.”

Uriel wrinkled her nose. “Do you not want to be?”

I leaned back into the plush couch, my lips parting as I thought about it. Do I not want to be with him? Could I go back to earth and forget any of this ever happened? Do I want to live my life without him? Could I after all the things he’s done for me?

What of me? What exactly does he see in me? I haven’t really brought anything to the table for him. Except my body. There’s that. A hole to put his thing in, but really, he hasn’t done that either. I have been the one taking the advances. I’ve been putting the moves on him because I’m obsessed with the guy.

“I don’t want to be–not with him?”

“That’s a double negative.” Uriel tilted her head, raising her eyebrow. “You need to clarify.”

Mariah got up from Ares’ lap and sat beside me. She ran her fingers through my hair.

These people really like to touch.

“Sorry,” Mariah said, blushing and taking her fingers away.

“Damnit, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to say things out loud.” I crossed my arms. “It’s just all of this.” I waved my hands around. I’m not sure why I hadn’t passed out, screamed, gone psycho and what not. It was all weird and complicated now. A tear escaped down my cheek.

“The reason you haven’t,” Uriel began, “is because of the bond. You are supposed to be here. With Thanatos. With your future family and friends, with us. And yeah, it is a lot. I’ve watched humans live through a mirror in my bedroom and learned what they have learned. Your world is smaller than you have lived in. You’re told magic doesn’t exist, that gods are fairy tales, soulmates are fables.” Uriel grabbed my hand again and the light shines again, calming my body. “But it”s not. It”s all real, and you”ve been primed to know and feel that it”s real. That”s why you haven”t gone psycho.” She giggled.

I smiled at Uriel and at Mariah patted my hand.

“I was a warrior wolf shifter. I never thought I would be mated to a god,” Mariah glanced at Ares with such adoration. “For a few days, I didn’t believe it, but I let my body follow the pull and I succumbed to his devilishly handsome features.”

“Yeah you did, baby.” Ares growled at her.

“Quickly I realized, though, it wasn’t just my body that followed, but my heart. My soul always wanted him. I just had to let go of the worry, the burden that he would give up on me because I was just a wolf shifter. I worried because he was a god and he could do so much better than me.”

I perked up at that. “You were a wolf-shifter? But you”re a goddess now, aren’t you?”

I remembered the stories that Thanatos read to me about Bergarian and the species that lived there. I didn’t realize that gods could be mated to them, too.

She nodded. “Yes, Goddess of Females in Battle. And once you let your worries go, let Thanatos understand you better and if you decide to complete the bonding of your souls–”

I took a deep, heavy breath.

“You too, will become a goddess and live with Thanatos in his home.”

I let out the breath slowly. This was not what I was expecting when I asked what mates were. Marriage? That thought alone freaked me out, but this? This is another level and becoming a goddess too? I wasn’t fit to be anything like that. Thanatos deserved so much more than me.

Uriel pouted. “She isn’t thinking out loud so much right now, I don’t know what she’s thinking.”

Mariah snorted. “Do you do that often, Juniper?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I do. It’s a habit I’ve kinda always had since I was young. People thought I was weird.” I didn’t elaborate.

I looked down and pick at the hangnail on my finger. When I looked at the other two women beside me, their hands looked absolutely perfect. They didn’t have hangnails or freckles, they were both stunning in every way.

It had to be a mistake. I was a mistake.

Uriel put both of her hands on my face and turned me toward her. “Stop thinking.” Her hands glowed brighter than when she touched my skin earlier, and I felt completely woozy.

Mariah’s eyes widened. “Uriel, too much, too much!” Mariah pulled Uriel’s hands away, and I swayed, falling back onto the couch.

“This is nice,” I slurred. “I feel like I just chugged some Everclear, though.” I stared up at the ceiling, watching the candlelight dance. “Soooo pretty.”

Ares jumped up from his seat on the couch. “Uriel, I thought you learned how to control your power on mortals! I really don’t need Thanatos kicking my ass. Suck that calming juice out of her.”

Uriel grabbed my face again and the floatiness from my body slowly faded. I groaned, kinda sad that all that fun juice was wearing off.

“Such a party pooper,” I glared at Ares. “What was that, anyway?” I rubbed my eyes.

“I can calm people. Take the bad thoughts away. Let them see who they really are. Sometimes I take too much, and it will make you feel drunk. I just get too excited sometimes.” Uriel shrugged her shoulders.

“Shit, fuck, I can’t get in trouble. Not for something I didn’t do anyway,” Ares barked out a laugh. He slung himself back on the couch. “Why don’t we do something else and not talk about mates. Give Juniper time to just have some fun. How about a tour of the big bad god of the Underworld’s house?”

Uriel drug me around the palace, showing me every room and its uses. A pool, workout room, conference rooms, guestrooms and she even showed me the Hades and Ember’s master bedroom, which was freaking glorious to say the least. High ceilings, enormous fourposter bed, a side office, a balcony, large master bathroom. Everything was elegant and in its place.

It had me think of Thanatos’ bedroom. It was much smaller, quaint, and not flashy in the slightest. My lip curled how Thanatos didn’t even have a guest room while Hades had hordes of rooms he could shove his guests in.

Thanatos didn’t think twice. He gave me his room without a thought. Sure, he didn’t sleep, but it was his room. His space. It was normal and appealed more to my aesthetic and not as overwhelming.

Thanatos was simpler than Hades. Not as flashy. He appreciated the smaller things like his garden, a good book, and cooking his own food, and that really appealed to me.

Most of all, Thanatos liked me for me. And I liked him for who he was. He was a bit of a hoarder, a little messy, and if I stayed, I’m sure I could put my own touches to his home that could soon be ours. He acted like I could do anything I wanted. I mean, he gave me his bed so willingly; he made me a freaking movie theater cavern in his home.

This was all under the pretense of if I let this happen.

As we moved down the hallways, Uriel pranced, skipped, and danced. How she had so much damn energy, I’d never know. If I could suck it out of her, I would, and use it for myself.

“And this is Lilith’s room.” Uriel waved her hand over the door.

A door slammed behind us, and the sound of clothes ripping came from underneath the door.

“Ares and Mariah need a moment. Come on, we can talk to Lilith.” Uriel urged me inside, and I stared blankly at the door that Ares and Mariah had gone into. It shook violently, and Ares grunted like a feral pig behind it.

Shit, that’s kinda hot.

I wonder if Thanatos would take me like that.

“He would!” Uriel sung and slung open the doors without knocking.

Once the doors were open, we saw Lilith at her desk, tied up with nylon rope and a sucker in her mouth.

“My gods, what is going on?” I rushed toward her, only for Uriel to stop me.

“It’s okay!” Uriel patted my shoulder. “She’s in time out.”

“Time out!?” I scream. “She’s tied to a chair. What the hell?”

A mysterious, cloaked figure emerged from the dimly lit corner, silently positioning himself in front of Lilith. She furrowed her brows, her expression filled with disdain. In his hands, he gripped a gleaming scythe, its sharp edges reflecting the faint light. Though resembling Thanatos, he stood shorter, lacking the piercing blue glow in his eyes and the eerie shroud of darkness that typically trailed behind him.

“I’m Lilith’s nanny. She is in trouble for trying to kill one of the kitchen staff before lunch. She is to sit here for an hour and ponder her wrongdoings,” he droned.

I stared blankly at him.

Since when did Thanatos start a babysitting agency?

“Lilith is a lively, dark soul that is just misunderstood.” Uriel patted Lilith’s head “She just tests her boundaries, that’s all.” Uriel pulls the sucker out of Lilith’s mouth. “By the way, don’t take a sucker from Loki. Loki suckers get stuck in your mouth, and you can’t get them out for hours. I’ve figured out how to get them out, though.” Uriel leaned in to nudge me.

“Let me go, Reaper,” Lilith snarled, like she had three voices in her throat.

The Reaper stood perfectly motionless, casting an ominous shadow in the dimly lit room. “Once you have apologized to the cook. He is still healing from his stab wound.”

Lilith grunted and turned toward me. “Hi Juniper, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I heard you are Thanatos’ mate.”

Her attitude was completely different toward me. It was downright sweet, and I found it terrifying.

“Um, yes. I believe I am,” I replied warily.

“Good, I like you. You have beautiful red hair, and it doesn’t look like you take his shit either. I heard red heads didn’t have a soul, but I’m glad to see you have one.”

The reaper placed his boned hand into his hood. I heard it run down his hardened face. “We’ve talked about manners, Lilith.”

“We also talked about telling the truth. I’m telling the truth. She’s a badass.” Lilith tilts her head toward me.

I puffed out my chest and smiled and the reaper took the sucker from Uriel and popped it back into her mouth.

“Be as it may, you are still in trouble. Now hush.”

I struggled to suppress my giggle as Ares clumsily entered the room. The sound of his footsteps echoed against the walls, accompanied by the faint rustling of his shirt being tucked in. Meanwhile, Mariah frantically brushed her stray hair away from her face and pulled down her shirt.

“What I miss?” Ares cleared his throat.

“Nuffin!” Uriel chirped and grabbed my hand to lead me out. “Just Lilith being Lilith.”

Lilith glared at Ares, and he backs away. “She scares me.” He hurried us out the door and shuts the door with a slam.

Ares sighed and dusted off his hands. In his haste, he forgot to button his pants, and his big friend poked out.

Uriel squealed and covered her eyes. “It’s got a nail in it!” She ran down the hall, tripping over her shoes.

All I could do was stare, because when Uriel said nail, of course I had to look. When I did, it wasn’t a nail, though; it was just a piercing.

In his dick.

Mariah shook her head and pulled up her mate’s pants to button them. “Ares, not everyone wants to see it.”

“She does, though,” Ares winked at me.

I turned my head, my face flaming red now. “No-no,” I stuttered. “It was just–um–I–”

“It a Prince Albert. Got it a few weeks ago.” He wrapped his arm around Mariah’s waist. “Mariah can’t get enough of it, can you, baby?”

Mariah rolled her eyes and nodded. “Yeah, it is pretty great.” She drew circles in Ares’ chest.

“So Juniper,” Ares nodded his head forward, so we could walk. At the end of the hallway, Uriel peeked around the corner to make sure that Ares” pants were pulled up. “Have you clammed slammed Thanatos yet?”

I blinked and stared up at him. “Excuse me?”

“You know, clam slammed, sat on his face? Got some action? I heard Hypnos lent my books and pornographic material to help the poor guy out. Who knows how long since he’s gotten any, if anything at all.”

Pornographic material?

“We like to make fun demonstration videos,” Mariah whispered to me. “It’s kinda like Only Fans, but we do it for free because we get off on it. Ares uses it for his sex education after he taught Uriel. Athena isn’t too keen on teaching sex ed, so Ares was kind enough to be the front runner for the new set of gods and goddess growing up. Isn’t he sweet?”

Ares leaned down and kisses Mariah deeply. “Thanks baby, I try.”

My smile wobbled. “It certainly sounds interesting!”

A shiver ran through me and I hustled my way closer to Uriel.

“Luci says I can’t hang out with them much,” she whispered. “Especially when they talk about sex.”

I snorted, my laughter finally taking over. “I can see why.”