Chapter Fifteen

As I slowly regained consciousness, the sensation of my tangled hair startled me, tickling my face. In a reflexive panic, my hands instinctively swatted at the unexpected rush of wind and the rhythmic flapping of wings. Piercing screams erupted from my mouth, a mix of confusion and fear engulfing me in the momentary chaos.

In my dream, I was rounding the enormous couch, trying to find Hypnos. He’d just vanished right when a cute elf was gifted with a sock. When I bent over, a vortex of wind and darkness sucked me from the floor, and lightning struck me with such force that I felt my arm burn.

“Juniper, it’s me!” The thunderous voice rattled me, and I blinked and saw two blue eyes staring down at me from the hood.

My racing heart still pattered in my chest, and I stopped my frantic arms from waving and my legs from kicking.

Thanatos, it was just Thanatos.

The God of Death was holding me in his arms.

Freaking cradling me like I was some sort of child.

I wasn’t short, or small by any means. My figure boasted a gentle curve in my hips and chest. It seemed that my presence as the moneymaker of Fuzzy Bunnies was owed to this very fact. The once prevailing notion of “thin is in” had given way to a new era where men embraced the allure of curvy women.

That was both a blessing and curse for me, but I digressed.

“W-why are you holding me?” I slapped my hand over my chest.

I wasn’t wearing a bra, but it hadn’t bothered me before with Hypnos. He was the God of Sleep. I’m sure he’s seen plenty of women, men, and children in pajamas before. Plus, he never stared at me hungrily, his eyes never trailing below my neck. I wasn’t wearing Victorian pajamas like I was the previous night. This time, I went for something more modern. Long flannel pajamas and green short-sleeve top.

But the fabric was still thin.

I couldn’t read Thanatos, though. I couldn”t read Thanatos because his face was covered, which worried me the most.

What was this guy thinking?

“Hypnos took you to the Dream Realm.” Thanatos carried me to the bed with extra care and sat on the half-made bed. He didn’t let me go and my eyes wandered around the room and then back at him.

Why isn’t he letting me go?

“Because you are still in distress and I am here to calm you.”

His voice was deep and calming.

“Dammit, I shouldn’t have said that out loud.” I pressed my hand to my mouth. “Sorry,” I said, my voice muffled behind my hand.

He tilted his head. “Why be sorry? You should not be sorry for expressing your opinion, or your wonderings. You should feel comfortable confiding in me.”

Who was this guy exactly? Why should I confide in him? He was death. Literally death. He pulled souls out of people and he wants me to share what I’m going through? Or maybe this is his way of figuring out emotion by examining mine?

Fair enough, I suppose.

“Right, okay. With me being in the Dream Realm, why did you have to hold me, then?”

Thanatos sighed, without lungs, I might add. Another weird thing I didn’t think I could wrap my mind around.

“When Hypnos takes a mortal to a Dream Realm, he must bring you out. Unfortunately, I woke him and he could not bring you to the waking realm. I cradled you in my arms because I needed to wake you. In order for me to do so, I had to take drastic measures and wake you in another way.” He cleared his throat.

Sweet crackers, what did he do?

He cleared his throat again. “I had to touch you.”

“Where the hell did you touch me?” I snapped.

He sounded so damn guilty.

I desperately attempted to break free from his grasp, forcefully pushing against him and kicking with all my strength. Deep down, a nagging feeling reminded me that this surreal moment was too perfect to be real. He didn’t really want to help me—he just wanted his information and maybe to cop a feel while I was sleeping.

My heart sank. His touch did not differ from the repulsive advances of the countless creeps I encountered at the strip club.

But despite my doubts, I couldn’t ignore the possibility that we were supposed to mend each other. That Fate as Athena called it, brought us together. That we were supposed to fix each other.

“Juniper!” Thanatos growled, but I wouldn’t listen.

I pushed and kicked until a warm hand touched my elbow. I gasped, feeling the sudden feeling of warmth on my arm. There was no cold, boned hand, and my efforts to get away from Death were gone.

“Whose hand is that?” I whispered, staring at the massive hand.

The hand that held my arm in place was a gentle caress, slightly tanned and inviting. Its touch sent a jolt of electricity through me, buzzing and crackling like a live wire. The moment stilled me, taking my breath away, as if time itself had appreciated the connection.

I couldn’t move, too entranced, that was connected to my arm that was a part of Thanatos.

A body? Did he have a body now?

“I touched your arm,” his grave voice sent shivers straight to my core.

Holy shit balls.

He chuckled.

“And no, I do not have a body. Not entirely, not yet.”

I still couldn”t take my eyes off his hand. “Is that your hand? Not one you cut off from someone’s dead body and ripped out their bones and you put it on like a glove?”

He stared at me, at least I think he did, and slowly shook his head.

Great, he thinks you are a freak now.

“No, I did not. This is my hand. I willed it to come to be when I realized the only way to wake you was to use the touch of my skin. Hypnos took you to the Dream Realm, but another person had to wake you. My bones were only part of me, my hand—” He gazed at it for a few seconds before continuing, “This is me. Part of me, anyway. I willed part of who I really am back into being so your body could feel my warmth to wake you.”

I nodded slowly, even though I fully didn’t understand god magic and powers of the gods. Whatever he said went.

I reached my hand forward and touched his. “So you really are a person, not just bones, then?” I touched his hand that still laid on my arm, running my fingers over it. It felt normal, like a human hand, but so much heat and fire ran through me.

Were all gods like that? I wanted to touch his hand more, feel it on my skin. That’s crazy, right?

“Yes, I have a body. One of muscle, tendons, organs, and heart. I”ve taken the body of just bones and spirit for a thousand years. It was better this way. To keep the other gods from abusing my power, I remained unapproachable.”

I frowned. “Sounds terribly lonely.”

“I have my brother, Fluffy, and now--” he leaned in closer to my face, “and now you.”

Wait, what?

“Yes, Juniper. I now have you now, for company.” He held me tighter to his robes and my body tensed.

Hold up.

I thought I was just helping him with his emotions, helping him out with this Fuzzy Bunny business. It”s true I didn’t know what was going to happen where my life would lead me afterwards when I got free of this place, but…

“I-I-I thought I was just here to help for a bit. Just for a while.” I tried to shake out of his hold, but his boned arms grasped me tighter.

Wait, are his arms still boney?

“And where are you going to go Juniper?” His boned face, still hidden in the hood, rested on my shoulder. “Do you have a family? I’ll still let you see them if you wish. It”s just that your new home will be here—with me.”

My heart picked up and my palms sweated.

Not at the thought of staying here, but at the sick thought of someone wanting me to stay. To have a home. Someone wanted me to stay in their home? No one has ever wanted me for that.

He wouldn’t want me to stay. After a while he would find me annoying, get bored —

Thanatos hummed. “You are thinking, but you aren’t speaking. Don’t hide things from me. I like it when you speak your mind.”

“Y-you do?”

Because no one ever did before. They thought me different, weird. The odd one out.

Thanatos’ warm hand comes to cup my cheek to turn my face to look into his hood. The sleeve to his robe falls away from his hand, revealing his wrist and his forearm. Only his hand had skin. Below his wrist was nothing but bone.

My stomach churned, and I felt the blood drain from my face.

I think I’m going to be sick.

“What?” The deep, dark, seductive voice left Thanatos and was now replaced with a voice of concern.

I slapped my hand to my face again, and I pushed my hand to his chest. He let me go this time, and I stumbled away from him and raced to the bathroom. The lights rose brightly so I could see where I was going. I pushed away the curtain that led to the bathroom.

He had a hand, but then there was just bone. How does the blood stay in there?

I fell to my knees in front of the ebony-colored toilet and threw my guts up. Soon after, I felt the warm presence of a body behind me. Thanatos’ hands pulled my hair back, and again I retched because he could very well have two hands and then nothing but bone beyond that.

Oh my gods, he has skin gloves on!

“My body is no longer bone, Juniper, you have nothing to fear.” He held my hair gently and placed a cold washcloth on the back of my neck with care. “Yet I wonder why this sets you off and not just my boned body?” He chuckled again.

Is he seriously chuckling right now? I never thought I would hear it, but here he was, the God of Death, chuckling.

I flushed the toilet to get rid of the food from the night before, but I kept my face buried inside. My face, covered in sweat, surely looked pale and disgusting.

“I don’t know. I kept thinking you were wearing someone’s skin for gloves. I might have had flashbacks of my blood over my body. I haven’t come to terms with my own near-death experience yet either.” I sighed and leaned my head on my forearm across the toilet.

Thanatos growled, his knee coming down on the floor, and continued to wipe my forehead with a cloth. When I opened my eyes, I saw it wasn’t his hand wiping my forehead, neck, and face, but the shadows.

His shadows were an extension of him. The tendril backed away, like a tentacle, maybe a snake, and wrung out the water and soaked it with fresh, new cool water from the sink. I watched in amazement as it came from the sink and gently pressed it against my forehead. The coolness instantly soothed the pounding ache in my head.

“Thank you,” I whispered, my voice barely audible.

Thanatos remained silent, his presence a comforting weight behind me. Despite my initial shock and confusion, I can’t deny that there was something undeniably comforting about his presence.

He knows loneliness, and I know it too.

As the shadow continued to comfort me, I gathered my thoughts and tried to compose myself. Thanatos watched me intently, his eyes searching for any signs of distress or discomfort. His presence is both intimidating and oddly comforting at the same time.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, still feeling queasy. “I didn’t mean to react that way. This god stuff, how you can materialize skin—” I swallowed.

His voice filled with understanding as he spoke, “Juniper, you don’t need to apologize. Your reaction is valid. We all have our past traumas, our fears. It’s only natural for them to resurface in moments like these. I didn’t mean to upset you. I forget sometimes that not everyone is accustomed to my antics.” He stared off into the corner of the bathroom.

I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. “It’s not just that,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “It’s everything. This whole situation is overwhelming. And then you tell me I can never leave?”

With the comfort I drew from him, my hand balled into a fist. Anger now roiled within me. He couldn’t possibly make me stay here. I was human. There had to be a law of some kind forbidding a mortal to stay in the Underworld—alive.

Thanatos’ eyes brightened, and he stood. His shadows still tended to me, wiping away the sweat. “I won’t lie to you, Juniper. You can never leave this place without me. You have become too valuable to me, and soon you will realize that you cannot live without me either.”

My mouth dropped. “What do you mean, because I owe you my life, for saving me?” I growled at him.

Thanatos chuckled, a deep thunderous chuckle that ran right up my spine and wrapped around my breasts. My torturous body was betraying me. There was no way I should like this, not in the slightest.

I couldn’t help it. That one hand did something. It was a switch that turned on my body at full max wanting to jump his bone—okay not literally his bones, but his body.

But still I was furious.

How dare he say I could never leave? I left one prison for another. I’ll never be able to see the sun again. The one thing that I wish I could see before I almost died.

“No, my sweet Juniper, you do not owe me your life.” He bent at the waist, his eyes a bright blue inside his hood. I swore I could almost see the outline of his sharp nose, but the darkness was too deeply black. “Your soul is mine.”