Chapter Ten

Athena let the books fall, and her eyes widened.

She was a sophisticated person, yet she knew how to strike up a fun conversation. She had plenty of fun riling me up just moments ago.

I was still trying to wrap my head around it all. All the adrenaline, the newness, has kept me from thinking.

Right now, all I was concentrating on was the shocked look on her face. Did she not know what the word twat means?

“Here, let me help you.” I stepped away from beastie, who gave a whine of protest. The poor thing acted like he is attention deprived as he followed close behind me. I helped Athena, who was still in a state of shock, and I handed her a book. One of them was the book I had picked up earlier, and she had slammed shut.

“Thank you, Juniper, that was helpful.”

She delicately placed the book on a solid mahogany desk adorned with an assortment of colorful paperweights, stacks of books, whimsical trinkets, and ancient scrolls. As I peered closely, my eyes meticulously absorbed the details, committing the contents to memory. Suddenly, a pair of expansive wings gracefully enveloped the chaotic assortment, casting a shadow over the scene.

“It’s a mess, over there. I wasn’t expecting company,” Thanatos said.

Athena sighed. “She’s been sleeping a week in your home, Thanatos; you could have cleaned while she slept.” She smiled and walked past him, and gathered a cloak sitting on a nearby chair that matched her outfit.

Thanatos growled. “Are you insinuating I am slothful?” His shadow tendrils slithered toward her. She just eyed him and turned her back.

”No, I”m just saying you had a preoccupied demeanor. Maybe worried about Juniper. An emotion that is worth discussing with her. She has agreed to help you on your journey of self-discovery since you saved her life.”

Thanatos’ back straightened and turned toward me.

I nodded and gave him an encouraging smile. “Yup, I did. It’s the least I could do.”

“You mean, you will stay–willingly?” he asked, seeming pleased.

“As opposed to staying unwillingly?” I raised my eyebrows.

He said nothing until Athena nudged him in the shoulder.

He sputtered and shook his head. “No, no. This is very kind of you. I appreciate your efforts to do so. Even if I wouldn’t have–”

Again Athena nudged him, and he stumbled forward.

“Dumb fowl,” he muttered. “Again, I appreciate your willingness, Juniper.” He dusted off his robes and his wings fluttered.

It was not just his wings that caught my attention, but the way they seemed too large for him to bear. They stretched out, majestic and powerful, yet there was a weariness in their presence. It was as if they symbolized a burden he carried, one that extended beyond their physical form.

“And why did you save me?” I stepped forward. “Why did you save me when you were there just to collect another soul?”

He was a hard god to read. His face was covered, and he barely made any movements except for his hands and his wings. I couldn’t detect nervousness or anger, but the silence was deafening.

“I don’t know,” he said in the most monotone voice. “My mind wouldn’t allow me to take your soul.”

His mind? His mind wouldn’t allow it? Who says that? Usually someone follows their heart, not their mind.

I wrinkled my brow and slumped my shoulders.

“Does my answer displease you?” he asked.

“It”s just weird.”

Athena snickered behind him. She covered her mouth and took her robe and walked to the mouth of the cave. “Goodbye, Juniper. Take care of him.”

Hold up, she can’t leave me here with tall, dark, and broody!

“I heard that.” Thanatos sighed.

Damn it.

“Sorry! I can’t stop it sometimes!” I pressed my finger to my forehead and tapped it three times.

A cold, hard bone wrapped around my wrist and gently pulled it away.

“Don’t do that,” he grumbled. “Do not damage what I try to repair.” His body hovered over my five-foot-eleven frame. He seriously engulfed me and made me feel so tiny.

I swallowed, letting the chilling touch run down my arm and down my spine. Why did it feel so electrifying, making me feel alive rather than feel the harsh coldness of death?

He cleared his throat, letting go and backing away. “Why do you find it weird that I use my mind?”

“Yeah! That!” I pointed at him. “It”s just weird that your mind told you to do something. People usually say their heart tells them to do something. Your mind is logical, your heart is not. So are you telling me you logically saved me? You didn’t follow your heart? Some part of you deep inside said, ‘you need to save this mortal!’” I kneeled, bringing my arms up like I’m holding the world in my arms, being completely over dramatic.

Beastie huffed, his maw widening, showing off razor-sharp teeth, and he pranced around me, waving his cat-like tail. I could see the smile, the playfulness in his movements, but Thanatos? He was stone cold–well, bone cold, I suppose. I couldn’t get a read on him.

Could he laugh, smile? What a terrible way to live!

I hadn’t felt more alive since—ever. Could be because of that tea, though.

I waited longer for a response, and when it didn’t come, I stood back to my full height and put my hands on my hips. “Well, why did you save me, God of Death?”

“Logically, yes, I saved you for a purpose. Your intel will help me shut down Fuzzy Bunnies and other strip clubs just like it. I’ll be able to succeed in Lord Hades and his Queen’s mission to take out sex trafficking efforts on earth.”

The butterflies that once fluttered in my stomach that made me feel special all but died.

As noble as it sounded, as great as it was that gods wanted to take out the trafficking and help humans, tiny humans that are in trouble every day, I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. It was a stupid thing to think anyway, right? A god liking a human for who they are, that was just silly.

Gods, that was a stupid way to think. I probably had that tingly feeling because he was what he was. A god.

He probably gave everyone the tingles when they touch him.

“I guess you thought with your mind, then.” I tried to hide my disappointment. “You saved me, and I thank you and I’ll do my best to help you with the information you want and help you with your lack of emotion problem Athena said you have.”

That was a little jabby jab there but take that.

Thanatos stood there quietly, his face hidden beneath his hood. I could sense the weight of his thoughts, the heaviness of his burden, as if he carried the weight of the entire world on his shoulders. The silence stretched between us, and I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for him.

Never feeling happiness? That sucks.

Finally, he spoke in a voice so low that it sent shivers down my spine. “It is true,” he admitted, his words laden with melancholy. “I lack emotions. My duty as the God of Death has stripped me of such luxuries. I wish to feel them, even though muted.”

My heart sank at his words. To be devoid of emotions was a fate I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. It was a curse, a prison from which there seemed to be no escape. I stepped closer to him and closed the distance between us.

“But you are more than just your duty,” I whispered, reaching out to touch his arm.

I didn’t get the zing I felt earlier with his boned hand, but the urge to touch him, to feel something from him, was irresistible. I let my fingers linger on his arm, hoping to evoke some kind of response, some flicker of emotion that would break through his stoic facade. But he remained unmoved, his eyes hidden beneath the shadow of his hood.

“I envy you, yet I don’t,” he blurted, his voice filled with bitterness. “To feel emotions, to experience joy and happiness... It is a luxury that I lost long ago.”

“And why is that?”

His words struck a chord within me. I could sense the deep longing and sorrow that lay beneath his impassive exterior. He had become a prisoner of his own duty, trapped in a realm of perpetual detachment. It was a lonely existence, one that I couldn’t bear to see him endure any longer.

“You don’t have to feel nothing,” I whispered, my voice barely audible. “There’s more to life than just duty. You deserve happiness, too.”

Thanatos turned his head slightly towards me, his eyes now glowing a soft blue inside his hood. “You don’t know what my duties are. Come, let’s feed you,” he said dismissively.

I opened my mouth to argue but my treacherous body let out a loud growl, and I groaned in frustration. I was hungry. In fact, I was famished.

Thanatos hummed. “Even death cannot silence the call of hunger,” he said, a hint of amusement in his voice. He gestured for me to follow him as he turns his back.

Curiosity and hunger led me to follow him, my footsteps echoing in the cavernous space as we traversed deeper into his home. There are no windows or doors, just smooth dark stone with a hint of reflection. The torches gave off enough light to see in front of me. The darkness was all but a friend here to him.

With each step I took, my bare feet felt the warm surface of the stone beneath me. It was a stark contrast to the chilly air that surrounded us in the depths of the Underworld. As we made our way through the winding tunnels, I couldn’t help but wonder if this warmth was a result of the Underworld’s fiery inferno or something else entirely. My body shivered, goosebumps rising on my skin as we ventured further into the cave. The dampness and musty scent only added to the eerie atmosphere, a constant reminder that death resided here. I kept my thoughts to myself, not wanting to disturb the delicate balance of this place that was clearly his domain. Despite the discomfort, there was something strangely captivating about the dark and foreboding aesthetic of his home.

After we navigated through dark, winding corridors, we finally reach a small chamber. The only source of light was a dimly lit fire crackling in the center that cast flickering shadows on the stone walls, reminding me of the shadows that clung to Thanatos.

A sturdy wooden table took up most of the room, set with simple yet elegant dishes. The smell of roasted meat and freshly baked bread filled the room, which made my stomach growl even louder. It reminded me of how long it has been since I last ate. My mouth watered at the thought of sinking my teeth into some food.

Thanatos took a seat at one end of the table, his robe draped around him like an impenetrable shroud. I gingerly took a seat across from him, feeling a mix of anticipation and apprehension. This meal felt like a pivotal moment between us—a chance for connection amidst the vast divide of our worlds.

He gestured for me to start, his skeletal fingers gracefully gliding over the table as he poured wine into our goblets.

I picked up my fork hesitantly and cut into the succulent piece of meat before me. The knife glided smoothly through the tender flesh, releasing a burst of savory aroma. The anticipation in the room is palpable, the silence broken only by the crackling of the fire and the subtle clinking of silverware against porcelain.

Hmm, I wonder where the food goes if he doesn’t have a stomach?

I brought the morsel to my lips. I glanced up at Thanatos, his gaze fixed on me. There’s a certain intensity in his eyes that I can’t help but find captivating. It’s as if he’s studying me, trying to understand something that remains elusive to him.

The first bite exploded with flavor in my mouth, the rich juices mingled with the natural sweetness of the meat. It’s a symphony of taste that brings me back to life with every chew. The other hunger that gnawed at me—the one where I got to know Thanatos more of who he really is—dissipated as I continue to eat.

This was possibly the best food I ever tasted.

I continued to eat; the silverware clinking against the plate. I drank the wine from the goblet. Because yes, I would call it a goblet because that is what it was. A huge, overly decorated metal cup that was far too heavy for my human hand, which I needed to take two to lift.

I gazed over the rim of the goblet and could see the faintest two blue lights coming from his hood. Two eyes, and they were growing brighter by the minute.

“I-I’m sorry. Was I supposed to wait to eat?” I put the goblet down and pressed the napkin to my lips. “Sorry, I don’t know god etiquette.”

Thanatos stayed quiet, but the lights in his hood go out. They come back again and his shoulders slump.

Ahh—he closed his eyes. But why can I see those glowing lights in his eyes now? When I first met him, there was nothing but darkness.

“You have done nothing wrong,” he said in a deep voice. “I was just admiring how a human eats.”

I took a long blink. “Excuse me?”

Does he think I’m an animal? A zoo creature to look at?

“N-no! Not at all.” His voice rose and his hand reached over the table. “It”s just, I’ve seen no one enjoy food the way you are. I find it fascinating.” He rested his elbow on the table and leaned on his hand.

I squinted my eyes and took another bite of the meat.

Damn straight, I like this food.

“Well, the emotion is called joy. And my stomach is thrilled and appreciative of all this food.” I rubbed my stomach gingerly.

His animal whined beside me, nudging my leg with his nose. He was so quiet I didn’t even notice him the entire walk here. “Aw, beastie wants some food?” I nuzzled him with my nose and grabbed a hunk of meat.

“What is your pet’s name?” I shoved another piece of meat into my mouth while I watched the strange animal hum happily as he licked the remnants of food I offered to him on the floor.

“Fluffy,” his deep voice said.

I took in a gasp of air, along with my food, and it went down the wrong way.

He named his pet, Fluffy? The God of Death named his pet Fluffy?

I stand, coughing, choking.

Shit, I’m going to die again.