Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

ASHER

“ N o Derek today?” I say, standing at my office door.

“I haven’t seen him,” Mia replies, giving me that bothersome look again.

Between her and the double date, I’ve got plenty of reminders of why Holly is the only woman for me. Yesterday, in the car, I didn’t plan on touching her during a serious discussion.

It was disrespectful, not that she complained. If we had a simple relationship, I’d text her and tell her to wear the elf costume later so we could get properly steamy. I’d tear off the stockings with my teeth, kiss up her tempting legs, and …

My resolve falters. I go back into the office and open the drawer.

Where’s my Secret Santa phone?

I open all the drawers, then comb through my office. It should be in the top drawer where I left it. I don’t lock my office, but I can’t imagine anybody would sneak in here and steal the phone unless?—

A particular Christmas elf has a penchant for playing pranks on me.

I smile as I leave the office, heading to the marketing department.

“Come in,” Holly calls when I knock on the door. She looks almost panicked to see me. Maybe because she’s hiding something?

As usual, she looks gorgeous in her work clothes.

“Has a Christmas elf been sneaking around my office?” I say.

“Huh?”

I shrug. “I’m missing something. I know how much you like to play pranks on me, Snowflake.”

If she stole the phone, surely she would have read the texts and realized that I’m her Secret Santa, but she’s giving me no indication of that.

“I haven’t been in your office. What have you lost?”

“It … doesn’t matter.”

“If it doesn’t matter, why are you here?”

“To see you.” I walk around her desk and lean down with a smirk. “What better reason could there be?” It’s when I get closer that I see her eyes are red. “Holly, have you been crying?”

She turns away. “No.”

I touch her face and turn her toward me. “You have. What’s wrong? Has something happened?”

She takes my hand. I think, just like last night, it’s to move me away. Then she tightens her grip around me. “It’s nothing.”

“Tell me, Snowflake,” I demand. “If something’s upset you this much, then it’s the most important thing in this office, this city, hell—the world.”

She rolls her eyes. “The world ?”

“To me, it is, yeah.”

“It’s Derek.”

“Derek?” I snap. “What’s that asshole done now?”

“It’s my fault.”

“No, it’s not.”

“You don’t even know what happened.”

“If it involves him, it’s not your fault.”

“He was my Secret Santa,” she murmurs. “We were … friendly, just over text.” She quickly adds the last part. “We met up.”

My head spins. I quickly grab a chair and sit down.

“I still can’t believe it was him. When I told him I still wasn’t interested, he got mean. I just came back from HR. I’ve let this go on long enough.”

“He isn’t in the office today,” I mutter.

“Are you okay?” she asks.

“Snowflake …” I take a breath. Here goes nothing. “I was your Secret Santa.”

Her eyes pop open wide. She’s gorgeously, cutely astonished. “You were?”

“I knew it was you when you told me the story about your dad being the salesman. My phone is missing. Derek must’ve taken it from my office and pretended to be me.”

She’s quiet for a minute, then says, “That explains why his texts have been so weird.”

“You’re right, Miss Goody Two-shoes. Mine were suave and charming.”

“You’re such a dick .” She slaps my chest, laughing in relief.

It’s risky, kissing in the office, even with her door closed. We do it anyway. She slides her arms around my shoulders and pulls me close. I sink against her, gripping both her legs, opening my mouth and tasting her tongue and her passion and?—

“Holly?”

It’s Dan.

Knock-knock.

“Can I come in?”

I jump to my feet and stumble backward. She quickly presses buttons on her computer. “You’re here for the Santa footage. Your mom wants to see it,” she hisses, wiping her mouth.

Are my lips red from the kissing? I wipe my mouth just to be safe.

My cock was growing hard before the knock on the door. Will he notice?

This is beyond fucked.

Dan pushes the door open, double-taking when he sees me. “Hey, Casanova. What are you doing here?”

The impromptu nickname puts me on high alert. “Casanova?”

“Because of the date later …”

“Oh, yeah,” I say awkwardly.

Talking about dating in front of my Snowflake is the last thing I want to do. She doesn’t need to hear any details about another woman and me. Just the idea of being with somebody else makes me uncomfortable.

“I warned you I will not be romantic, though,” I remind him. “I don’t want you or her to get the wrong impression.”

Dan smiles. “Come on, man. Don’t be so pessimistic. What if you like her? You might hit it off.”

Holly stands with her hands behind her hand. I wonder if she’s clenching her fists to relieve the awkwardness. I want to hold her and tell her it will all be okay.

“What’re you doing here, anyway? Hounding my sister for her marketing skills?”

“You know it.” Lying to him sucks. “She’s the best in the game. It’s not my fault.”

I’m getting defensive without meaning to.

“Hey, no argument from me,” Dan says. “Holly, I swung by to ask if I could have your Secret Santa phone. I was thinking about this HR mess. It might be good if they could review any inappropriate texts that he sent you. Since he doesn’t seem to be in the office, yours is the only phone we have.”

Holly shakes her head. “Uh, no.”

“No?” Dan says, confused.

Is that suspicion I hear in his voice? Dan has always been an intelligent, perceptive person. When we were kids, he was the brains. I was the brawn. That changed as I studied more diligently and became engrossed with computers, cell phones, and other electronics.

“Why not?” Dan asks. “Don’t give me this crap about not wanting to get him into trouble. He deserves it.”

“I lost it,” Holly says. “I know it must be around here somewhere. I remember sticking it someplace because I didn’t want to think about it. It might even be in my car. When I find it, I’ll let you know, okay?”

Dan looks at Holly, then at me with a question, raising his eyebrow. “Okay … Asher, want to walk with me? If you’re done here?”

Crap. This is bad.

“Sure.”

I want to look at Holly and share one moment before everything comes tumbling down. She knows I’m her Secret Santa, and she was happy, which is probably a misguided feeling, considering Dan may be about to forbid us from ever doing anything like this again.

“Let’s take the stairs,” Dan says, walking through the office.

He wants to get me alone in the stairwell. My body is still surging with the aftershocks of what I did with his sister.

As I expected, he stops in the stairwell, looking around to ensure nobody is watching us.

“Does Holly seem like she’s acting weird to you?”

“I hardly know her.” I stare at the wall just above his head. I can’t meet his eye.

“Fair enough, but you’ve spent time with her since you came home. The toy drive, your mom’s place. Based on that, is she acting differently?”

“A little, maybe.” I’m a scumbag.

“I don’t believe she lost that phone. I think she’s still hung up on this nepotism crap. It doesn’t matter how often I tell her she doesn’t need to feel guilty. She earned her spot. She still punishes herself for it.”

“She doesn’t want to look like she’s getting special treatment,” I shrug.

“She never has,” Dan says, exasperated. “Listen, if Derek returns, try to find a moment to swipe his Secret Santa phone. It’s not stealing since this is company property, anyway. We need to know what he said to get her so shaken up.”

I can’t do this. He’ll see the flirting and the nicknames, all while thinking it’s Derek. Then Derek will reveal that he took the phone from my desk drawer. Dan will discover that it’s me who’s been texting his sister. When he reads the text about their dad being a traveling salesman, I won’t have any deniability.

He knows I know that story.

I’m trapped in a maze with no way out except lying to my best friend.

“I’ll do my best.”

He claps me on the arm. “Thanks, Asher. You’re a good friend.”

He has no clue how wrong he is.

Holly: Any sign of Derek? She texts my real number now. I’m her not-so-secret Santa.

Me: No, I reply.

Holly: If he comes back, he might tell everyone he found the phone in your desk.

Me: I was thinking the same , I text. I don’t know what to do, Snowflake.

Holly: I think we both know what we have to do.

I drum my fingers against the desk. Or maybe it’s more like I’m whacking it in frustration. I know where she’s going with this, and I don’t like it one bit.

Me: We do?

Holly: Don’t be na?ve, Asher, she replies. That was a close call earlier. We’ve been swept up in whatever this is and let ourselves slip too many times. It’s time we commit to staying away from each other: no texting, no other stuff.

I don’t have to guess what she means by “other stuff.” If I close my eyes, I see it, relive it, feel her, taste her.

Me: Do you think we’re capable of that?

Holly: We have to. We can’t keep doing this. There are only two choices here. End this or tell Dan the truth. Dan wouldn’t be able to handle it. It would mess with his head and scramble his brain. Maybe he’d never recover and never want to see us again. Do you want to break his heart?

Me: Hurting him is the last thing I want, I tell her.

Holly: Go on this date. Try to have fun with this other woman.

Me: Are you fucking kidding?

Holly: It’s what you’d do if nothing ever happened between us.

Me: Is that what you want? I’m hitting my desk for real this time. I need to calm down, but I can’t.

Me: You want me to be with somebody else, Snowflake? To kiss her, touch her, laugh with her, be her Santa, and she can be my elf? Let me tell you something; this is the truest thing I’ve ever texted. The idea of you with anybody else, even for a second, makes me fucking livid.

Holly: It’s not about what I want , she texts back. It’s about what’s right. This is it, Asher. It’s over. It ends here.

I set my phone on the desk, shaking all over.