Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

MATTEO

T he rest of the day goes off without a hitch, which is the most a man can ask for in a life like mine. I get a hard workout in the gym, soaking the floor with sweat and flooding myself with adrenaline. After a shower, I lie in bed, expecting to fall flat out like usual.

This is by design. I hate lying awake thinking about everything I've done and have to do. If a person could function without sleep, I wouldn't even bother. It's boring. It's pointless. Trying to sleep makes me restless half the time.

Rolling over, I close my eyes even tighter, trying not to see blood and chaos, trying not to hear gunshots and screaming. Sofia's words return to me. She's determined for Bella to see her as just another student. She doesn't want the respect and fear of being a DeLuca.

Do I? It's odd to even think about what I want. I rarely do it. The Family has to come first.

Rolling over again, I shift uncomfortably. This mattress costs more than some people's rent for the year, yet I can't sleep. What sort of ungrateful ass does that make me?

Grabbing my phone, I intend to go to my emails. Since I run the Family along with several legitimate businesses, there's always something to do, a never-ending list of tasks. Yet somehow, I find myself on Bella's page. I bite down when I see her profile photo.

She's standing in nature someplace, with the sun behind her and the lighting emphasizing her shape. The adrenaline from the workout is usually enough to linger during my deep sleep, letting me wake up primed and ready to go. Today, all the energy goes right to Bella.

Clicking her photo, I zoom in. She's wearing a dress that cuts off just above her knee, showing a tempting glimpse of her thigh. Her cleavage isn't over the top, but, fuck , there's enough there to get me thinking.

I imagine walking into that sunny scene, gently taking the violin from her hands, and pulling her into my arms. A groan escapes me as I zoom in on the photo, adjusting the frame so that only Bella is in it: no background, no nature, just her. She isn't smiling. She's got a dreamy look on her face like she's fantasizing about all the masterpieces she could compose.

The base of my dick twitches as I imagine tasting her lips, nearly feeling the thick gorgeousness of her hips and the heat of her skin. I don't let myself think about how unlikely this is ever to happen.

Even if I wanted a woman, it would be cruel to pick a civilian, somebody unaccustomed to the life . It would involve too much explaining, and what if there's another war? I don't think about it right now—just the fantasy.

When I grab my dick, I instantly feel precome leaking from my tip. My stiff rod aches as I stroke up and down, almost sure I can feel her hand pausing at my base, then up, then down.

I envision pulling up her dress and turning her around, bending her over and revealing the thick gorgeousness of her ass. I can see the wetness glimmering on her thighs, her hole quivering with how badly she needs me.

All I can see and feel is Bella bouncing against me, her ass shaking with each thrust. I can hear her moaning in pleasure as I thrust harder and faster, pounding into her deeper and deeper until?—

"Ah," I grunt as a hot stream of come explodes out of my dick. Everything else ceases to exist.

When it's over, I quickly enter the en suite and clean myself up. I can't even remember the last time I touched myself like that. My head is rushing like I'm drunk or high. When I go back to bed this time, I turn off my phone. I don't trust myself not to go onto her page and look for more photos.

This is about Sofia, I remind myself. Not me. It can't be about me. Nothing can, truthfully, though I'd never say that to anybody because it sounds self-pitying. A Don has to live for the Family, not himself. It's as simple as that.

What I just did, letting out all that heat and desire, is the first and last time. My life is about control of all things. My life is about keeping my focus fixed like a sniper on the targets that matter.

Even if it's a messed-up fact, the truth is what I want doesn't fall into that category.